/ss13g/ - spessmen on a spess station

Oh forgot to mention yes I did ahelp it. They let me know he's definitely sorry.

>How do we solve the Clown problem?
Of course, the problem is the clowns. Do not look behind you!

If that makes you feel better, i can tell you that he was so ashamed of his fuckup he requested a job permaban.

It does actually but maybe a perma would be too harsh.

I remember some details from a slightly earlier one
>pick roboticist
>no idea what the fuck to do
>didn't even know how to radio, just talk
>not even sure if I'm allowed to leave this tiny room (robotics)
>never, ever do
>so many machines
>another roboticist shows up
>equally as clueless what to do
>time passes, pretty sure we accomplish nothing
>someone shows up
>they tell us to make some fucking robots
>smacks my coworker with a clipboard
>I never realised, but this was probably the RD
>we get to work, in overdrive, fiddling with machines
>we don't actually accomplish anything STILL
>but things are in different spots and I have a beaker
>much time passes
>supervision never comes
>a mommi does something
>later the round ends
it was less cool, but still fun

Well it's self-requested, he can appeal anytime.

True.

github.com/vgstation-coders/vgstation13/issues/15712
TIME TO GRIFF

Cobbled up a character, joined as assistant, tried the controls, jumped out of an airlock.

started as assistant, was very amazed by how open world spess was.
accidentally died by putting myself in a disposal bin and getting launched into space

>gutter has been on spess longer than most people complaining about how shit he is at spess

Which waifu would you introduce to your parents?

did you ahelp it?

gutter is shit

see

>guy fucks up "accidentally"
>quickly ahelps for a self requested perma job ban
>will get it lifted in 3 days
>now he's avoided a server ban and a job ban
heh..

>he's been playing for 3 years
>he's still a no-rp shitter that cries in deadsay if you kill him as an antag

If he was playing for less than a year like Avada I'd understand..

i doubt he'd get anything more than 3days anyway

Coding Wrap Up

github.com/vgstation-coders/vgstation13/pull/15680
>Sliding stun talismans into books
>Next person to read the book gets stunned
Please emoji vote yes or no and write posts on why/why not it should be merged.

github.com/vgstation-coders/vgstation13/pull/15659
>You cannot eat unless you take your mask/helmet off
>Vox, Plasmamen, Mimes and Clowns can eat through masks/helmets.

github.com/vgstation-coders/vgstation13/pull/15675
>Dead facehuggers are now sterile
>This prevents you becoming immune to alive facehuggers by putting a dead one over your face

github.com/vgstation-coders/vgstation13/pull/15636
>Stasis Bags
>Like a bodybag but it freezes the person inside so their health stays exactly the same until opened again

github.com/vgstation-coders/vgstation13/pull/15656
>Honk Batons
>Ranged melee honkings

github.com/vgstation-coders/vgstation13/pull/15645
>Return of the cluwne ban
>Adds a new ban admins can give out, it turns the person into a cluwne on roundstart every single round

>byond has a gender setting

stasis bags a shit

>>You cannot eat unless you take your mask/helmet off
MUH IMMERSION cancer that is going to make a lot of jobs more cancerous for no benefit.

>cancer
>cancerous
"a disease caused by an uncontrolled division of abnormal cells in a part of the body."
"a malignant growth or tumour resulting from an uncontrolled division of cells."
"an evil or destructive practice or phenomenon that is hard to contain or eradicate."

>Statis bags
>0 chance of surviving after traitor puts you in one
>This is a good idea

Yes. It's a small thing that is going to cause a domino effect of health problems to the system. Cancer.

>someone codes something for rp
>"WTF IT'S JUST ROLEPLAY FLUFF CANCER"
>someone codez something else
"WTF THIS IS A LIGHT RP SERBER NOT VALID >>>/hippie/ !!!!"
no way to win

Gutter is fun

gutter can suck my dick

>check somebody's byond.com page
>they changed their gender from female to not publicly shown

>BYOND (Build Your Own Net Dream) was a software suite for creating and playing online games, launched in 1996 by Dantom, a company formed by Dan Bradley and Tom Hehre.

Post your account age not your real age old man

>he wasn't in the byond beta, let alone alpha

>unknown server
>join with a friend, no idea what we were doing
>end up as geneticist, he comes to my office to be a test subject
>mash buttons, we laugh at the effects it had on him
>he dies from rads
>get stabbed from behind by a big headed predator
>get dragged to maints and my spine exploded out of my body

>join as janitor
>round's like 30 minutes in
>hobble my way to my office after doing a few laps around the central corridor trying to figure out where the fuck what the fuck is
>spend about 15 minutes trying to get my shit on, AI messages me and asks me if I need help
>say no, I got this totally yeah
>finally get all my shit on and get my mop bucket filled, start wandering around looking for things to clean up
>all of a sudden, the fucking kitchen is filled with asses
>talking asses
>What the butt?.avi
>someone goes in there, kills literally all of them, now there's a fuckton of blood and grease everywhere
>spend the next 15-30 minutes just cleaning that up on and off while marveling at the shit going on over comms
>shuttle arrives, hop on, things go well
>screwing around on my janicart while it flies
>end up hitting a door and go flying out
>end round just flying through space in the janicart remarking on my situation
I fell in love with this game the second the buttbotts spawned, honestly.

>join a round of Veeky Forums circa 2013
>pick librarian
>get cult because I asked someone I knew who played to help me configure my character
>go into the back of the library and put down a blood rune
>get immediately caught and killed

honk

>pick assistant
>get bored of it
>ask captain for janitor because station is a mess
>take forever to find the janitor closet
>the fucking cart isnt there
>track down cart to cargo
>finally get into janicart
>go into some room that teleports me into space
>die slowly
It was fun.

...

Ten years of service is pretty good user.

>My brother tells me to check this game out
>A minute after I join we get banned for metagaming

We explained and the ban was lifted but it was pretty shitty.

>tfw going back and reading the logs of the first time you were ever an antag
>tfw it was cult
>tfw you were a massive shitcult and somehow ended up being the last one left
Post ur 1st time Antags, every spessman should remember their first antag.

>recommended game
>cant join because bunker
>finally join and play robotics
>spend an entire round asking what a floral ray is
>dont know where posibrains come from
>keep asking what a 'synthetic flesh' is for
>3 unfinished mechs
>one very patient borg
>one very unlucky singuloose

people will get used to masks just how they did with drag damage

>assasinate the RD
>couldn't find him the whole shift
>shuttle docked
>see the RD going to the science maints for some reason instead of the shuttle
>quickly spawn myself a parapen and c4
>rush after him
>parapen
>strip
>c4
>leg it, blow his ass and make it to the shuttle

>ling
>parasilence clown
>drag to maint
>fumble with the grab so i can get a succ, no fucking idea how to
>eventually clown screams for help
>mime runs in with the sawn-off and shoots me to crit

I ghosted and turned all antag options to No forever. That was in 2013.

my sides you reminded me of something that happened once

>playing assistant
>bored as fuck but then a virologist says he needs someone for testing
>oh boy SURELY this wont end in my death
>sign up for it and the virologist takes me to a virology isolation room
>Start talking with her for a bit and cuff myself to the bed
>she comes over into the room and while i was trying to talk with her i realise i was silence stung
>keeps trying to reinforce her grip on me to begin succing but she cant because i cuffed myself to the bed
>i am laughing my ass of at this awkward attempt which is followed by damage control after
>does it again after a few minutes same shit happens
>eventually she gives up and allows me to leave
I never knew what happened to her that round but that was hilarious as shit

probably not my first one but the most memorable early antag

>tator janitor on tg
>objective is to kill clown
>see him fucking around the upload
>he's stunned time to finish him!
>unload a revolver into him, then drag him back to jani closet
>try to stuff him down disposals but fail (though I manage to successfully toss away the revolver)
>CMO pda's me asking why the dead clown is there
>"how do I stuff people down disposals? asking for a friend"
>clown gets teleported out
>hide in locker for what feels like an eternity, waiting for the po po to bust my door down
>they never come
>wander around until the shuttle gets called, CMO apparently forgot about me and the clown died again after medbay revived him

>2005
>walk around station
>game looks like shit
>quit after 5 minutes
>still play 12 years later

Hi Zombergr

>Tator botanist
>Have to steal an ablasive vest
>Decide to go take one at the armory
>Pop emag
>Walk into the armory, take it, leave, no one is the wiser
>Get a cookie

>First time as vampire
>Try to hack door in maint
>Insta-crit, die, body is never found

>Become traitor
>Have to go irl
>Ahelp that I gotta go
>Space myself

I don't remember my first, but I do remember using stasis to fake my own death and get the succ on the HoS on the old Veeky Forums prison shuttle.
Going from fuckup to almost unlimited power is just great.

>ling
>had insane antag shakes
>was chef
>walk over to botany and sting the botanist after 30 minutes of lingstended
>can't figure out how to absorb people
>"help chef is ling"
>decapitated

>on Veeky Forums before Veeky Forums stopped associating with Veeky Forums
>you are wizzyman, kill Turbo Kike the clown
>Oh fuck I'm not even a fraction of the robust I need to be to do this
>"stealth wiz", because the clothe less spell didn't exist back then. jam my clothes in a backpack
>nick a brain dead botanist's PDA, and a bar of space cleaner.
>pda the clown to come to the arrivals bathroom for a crate full of banana peels
>Honky comes honking up
>out of left field El Nath him, painting the whole bathroom red.
>clean up the blood
>proceed to greentext but only because I only concentrated on getting my objectives
>Everyone continued to escalate into insanity until a non-antag released the singularity figuring it was extended.
>Everyone was PISSED it was wizard because they didn't even know stealth wiz was even possible.

>half the crew was certain it was traitor, and was openly harming their fellow crewmembers.

god i wish i could have one wiz round
i fucking never get wiz these days

Fuck man I'm glad I'm not there anymore. Fuck you guys for panicbunkering me years ago and forcing me to play that shit serb.

>join as cargo tech
>oh shit radstorm
>end up standing next to the clown in maint
>he honks me
>entire time think im gonna get dragged off to a rapecave or something

also getting gibbed on the cargo shuttle every round for the first week

>bartender
>make a bloody mary
>assisstant comes in
>rips my eyes out with a screwdriver, left to die

I was about a year ago banned from pomf. is there any way to appeal to this ban or not?

Have you tried just appealing it

Forums. Link on the OP.

What is it with getting stabbed in the eyes with screwdrivers? This has happened to me multiple times over the years, and at least one of them came off as being extremely rapey and fetish fueled since they took their sweet time doing it.

Librarian on Nox.
I wrote a reader x Ichigo fanfiction while at the librarians desk. No one came into the library, so I bound it into a book and started handing it out.

>get stabbed in the eyes
>I've been raped!
This just in: everything bad that anyone does to you is rape.

>i've been raped
Nigger I said it came off as rapey, not that it was rape.

>First time
>Geneticist
>Get Vampire
>Do a quick read on Vamps
>Can drink blood from dead bodies
>Kill objective is ez
>Take every dying body from the tests to morgue and drink blood
>No one suspects anythign
>Raech final form
>Get Xray get TK
>MUH FINAL FORM
>2 minutse later sec busts down on me, unload everything, bring me to perma
>"We believe you are a vampire"
>No evidence shown
>Fight back, phase my way to Shuttle
>tfw Phase shift does not remove cuffs for a reason
>Target is nowhere to be found
>Target was dead
>Get arrested again beacuse cuffed
I wasn't mad anyway

pfffft

man, I'm telling you, dude was playing one-handed while he did it, and not because he was a cripple or anything

>joined as cook after watching hours of tutorial videos and reading the wiki
>just picked like two recipes and tried to fight the interface to put anything on the table
>five minutes into the round an armed mob is in my cafeteria
>AI opens doors to the back of the kitchen
>there is a wizard
>angry mob punch him to the ground and stuff him into the meatgrinder
>round over

not the earliest but the earliest i can remember

>goon
>decide to try learning chemistry
>first thing other chemist does is make a shit nade and it coats the room, runs away and never see him again
>a short while later a admin must of seen the shitroom and decides to coat the floor in tiles that say you are a idiot and makes the room play the same tune
>bumble my way through the wiki and make some cleaner nades to clean the shit
>finally clean it all and a-help saying something along the lines of I cleaned the idiots mess, can you change the floor back?
>instead of changing them back, the motherfucker instead just gibbs me and replaces chemistry with a owl zoo

never went back to goon since

TURN ON CNN PJB DID THINGS TO THE CODERCLUB

>One of my first time as chemists
>Can't do anything right but my colleague is somehow even worse
>Get blamed for all his fuckups
>CMO fires me
>Get demoted to assistant, end up fucking around in the bar
>Turns out both the incompetent chemist and the CMO were starting cultists that converted the entirety of medbay
>I wasn't converted due to my sheer incompetence

>3 autismos want to play on metaclub
>they force the entire server to play on metaclub
delete this fucking vote system

Kurba went and started some shit on the Lifeweb discord, so they're raiding the coder discord. All the invites have been revoked. New ones out later.

RIP clown

RIP detective

We're merging this once we get our new walls and lighting
github.com/vgstation-coders/vgstation13/pull/13957

That Gravity Well gun sure was fun.

if the detective listened it would have ended well

>that apc
no

>Times a Clown was Abused: 263
Great work.

What does this mean

>isometric view
no
kill yourself

It means no one can join the coder discord until you use the new global invite. The invite in the OP will no longer work.

No but like what did Kurba do and why are they targetting the coder discord

>Isometric
You don't know what it means

Kurba started yelling incoherent bullshit about lifeweb in our BYOND reverse-engineering channel (where I share progress on reversing the BYOND DMB format and shit). This somehow attracted the attention of Dehydrated, who is apparently Randy's wetworks guy, who told us to get rid of Kurba. He left before I was able to tell him Kurba is a harmless idiot. RFultra started screaming about how Hydrated was Randy (which is not the case).

Then the raid started.

RFultra and Kurba are retards. Ban them both

>This somehow attracted the attention of Dehydrated, who is apparently Randy's wetworks guy, who told us to get rid of Kurba
>in our BYOND reverse-engineering channel
this is some cia shit mane
behind it all, lummox is pulling the strings just you watch

Kurba has already received a warning kick. This is his second strike, next will be a ban.

Yeah but ban RFultra and then repoban them for their really awful attempts at adding things to the server.