Changed my battery today

Looked at my tire, realized it was flat.
MAD MECHANIC SKILLS!

Paid a Mechanic to change my oil. Who else /shop/ owner?

Me!
I slept in,but could have bought a car if I got a job a few years ago! Probably would have thought about changing the air filter.

Would you have had a cigarette dangling from your mouth, looking all sexy?

You hands would not be greasy from changing a tire user.

Fought with a broken sensor stuck in my transmission for most of the day. Ended up soaking it in penetrating oil and grabbing a six pack after a while. Does that make me a mechanic?

>who else mechanic here?

Tightened my gas cap to 3 clicks. #justmechanicgirlthings

had to change my mom's headlights on her 04 Maxima. Fuck any automotive design that forces you to remove the front bumper to change something as simple as headlights. I worked around that by removing the fender well.

>"MY HANDS LOOK LIKE THIS SO HER'S CAN LOOK LIKE THIS..."
>*plastidips his Civic's stock rims black*

Put in new ballasts for hids today, took some real mechanical know how. Females need not apply

I put a cold air intake in my fiat 500 today. I also had to disconnect the Battery for the first time. I feel less like a Soyboy and more like a man that lays down pipe they she really wants it installed.

what possible reason could there be to disconnect your battery in that situation? seasoned mechanic here

assuming its a new fiat 500 the car is probably drive by wire and its pretty tight in that engine bay so it probably made him disconnect some sensors or something

Pulled the inner door panel and exterior side skirt on my car to fix an annoying rattle at highway speed. Turned out to simply be two of those plastic 'push-pin' things on panels that came loose.

new clutch in toyota corolla

Just turned my tesla off and on again.
Who else IT support?

lol

>Car needs exhaust section, brakes, brake fluid, oil change and the windows are really sticky
>have brakes and fluid sitting, could easily afford the rest
>work all day fixing other peoples cars
>don't have the will to fix my own cars on my own time
SOON

changed windscreen wipers.
Feels awesome doing real man things

>Fought with a broken senior stuck in my transmission for most of the day

Welp, time for bed.

Had to shut my door twice because it didn't shut correctly the first time.
Who else mechanical engineer here?

>made a pizza pop in the microwave

who else chef here?

Yo user take some time give your vehicle love
This is the best meme

>anyone can change a battery
In my rolling computer, it is a bit difficult as there is a certain procedure to remove connections before doing the main power connection. If the security system is triggered, then it might be necessary to tow it to the dealer for a computer security unlock before the car will start with the new battery. On top of the battery are various connectors and a huge fuse block with multiple fuses. When powered down properly and the battery is removed properly with connections done in a certain order, it is ready for a new replacement battery. After reconnecting, the computers will have to resync with the rest of the car's subsystems. If not properly done, then parts of the car will work and others will not work or so the owner manual implies. I certainly don't want to go to the dealer since botching a battery install costs more than just having the chevrolet stealership dealer install it in the first place for $68 installation fee if the battery is bought from the dealer for $289. A botched job means the dealer charges that ripoff inspection examination before he ever does anything. That fee is $178 or $329 for more complicated exams.

I tried to change my battery but ended up burning down my car. Hehe being a mechanic is tough sometimes.

Brake pedal is loose, I was supposed to tighten it back up but ended up shitposting and fapping all day. Meh, it'll be fine.

Quality meme

>turned the distribution to highest advanced timing
>gained 10hp easily by the sound of the thing

It's 2018. Buy some fucking nitrile gloves.

Pussy boy. I actually agree with your sentiments but the fact you used "IT'S CURRENT YEAR, PIPO" makes me think you're a faggot.

wooow dude that's crazy

I mean that's fair, but the old school "gettin muh hands dirty" rough n' tough bullshit is better left to die with the boomers. Work smart not hard.

>Not greasing your tires

Meant forIronic.

Why don't you just download your constiousness to a super computer hard drive and circle jerk yourself to eternity with your edgy philosohy.

Getting your hands covered in grease and motor oil like that all the time is a good way to get cancer desu.

...

Hardly edgy. The mentality that everything has to be hard/physically demanding and needing to showcase how "hard you worked" is pretty dumb, don't you think?

I don't really think, not in a conventional manner anyway. But, living a life that is no longer human, to me is extremely edgy.

physically demanding =/= hard

>constiousness

Somewhat true.
Getting a bolt out of a downpipe flange is pretty simple. But it becomes fucking hard when it's tucked up next to the steering rack and rusted the fuck out and you don't have a lift.

Don't have to keep things traditional to remain human. Evolving with technology, like a simple hand glove for extra grip and easy clean up, is about as human as it gets.

Just put a seat cover on my seat, who else engineer here?

>justifying car DRM by blaming the user

its a fucking battery it has two terminals, unplug the black and then the red one remove battery put new one in reconnect. Any more than that shouldn't be necessary and it does not make you a fucking mechanic.

I feel like I’m a decent amateur mechanic, who can figure most things out from first principals, EXCEPT when it comes to electrics which is just magic to me.

Battery "tech" here, literally never had that be an issue. The worst like that is Hondas that want a radio code but you can get that off their website with the radio's serial number and the VIN.

Just filled up my washer fluid.

In the past few days I've:
>changed oil on shitbox #2
on shitbox #1
>descaled and fiberglassed some rust in both rear fender wells
>figured out some new wheel fitment issues
>lubricated both rear window tracks
>possibly fixed my cruise control by resoldering
>possibly fixed my aux fan using a blade fuse (factory bypass method)

Uhhh... I feel like I've done more than that but I guess that's it. Hm.

Pulled, repaired, and replaced a 600+lbs transmission, on the side of the road.
Definitely not a mechanic.

...

>changed battery on my friends boat today

Who else here marine engineer?

Wowzies GTFO, even Stacy can do that shit
Come back when you have ACTUAL mechanicsm experience

>topped off windshield washer fluid

Who else is a certified automotive technician?

I work at a dealer, any retard can replace a battery and hook it up to the computer to reset the battery monitoring systems all you need is the software. Even on the hybrid models it's pretty fucking retard proof.

Honestly because my friend recommend it.
I was learning about where my spark plugs were and how to change them at the same time since I had to take my engine cover and filter off anyway. so I know where they are and how to change them when I need a tune up .

no, that makes you a petrol tanker driver.

wow you took off your're engine filter? impressive

he knows what's up
they aren't loud until they warm up like full race pads, they dont eat rotors, and yet they never fade from the track days and autox i've done with them. also they last forever. have fun with that mang

>tune up
This isn't the 80's anymore, buddy.
Modern cars don't use carburetors or distributors. You don't "tune-up" a modern car.

I need to change my oil and shocks but my driveway is all ice, I have to go find a parking lot and some cardboard

why not put cardboard on your driveway? retard

Because the jacks slip and I'd have to salt underneath for traction, which I want to avoid because then I get salt everywhere

Well last Saturday I finally got around to changing out my rear struts in my AW11 Got some nice new Monroe's for a stupid deal on Amazon and slapped them in in about 3 hours with just hand tools. Then I installed a Chinese short shifter in about another hour.
Two weeks ago I did pads and rotors which was easier than expected because the rotors weren't stuck to the hubs!
Had a funky rattle that changed frequency with rpm so pulled off my valve cover and rechecked the torque on all the head bolts and the camshaft cap bolts. Also checked my timing belt idler. Removed my AC compressor and it's bracket because it doesn't work anymore anyways, and replaced my serpentine belt. Found it was an alternator bracket bolt that had somehow fanagled itself loose. Figured while I had the car up on jacks I'd change the oil and filter, although I normally just do that with the car on the ground because I can reach under far enough.
Then reset my GF's Altima's idle learning procedure and CEL after removing and cleaning the maf and installing a new forward O2 sensor that was throwing off her A/F ratio and giving her shit gas mileage.

Next up is the assembly and swap of a built EJ205 into my 2003 WRX that threw a rod bearing a few months back. Already have a ported TD05-16g and 565cc injectors ready to go on the new engine. Along with a whole bunch of new parts I'm hoping to make the jump from 220whp to almost 300whp although the block will be 600whp capable with the Wiseco pistons and Manley Rods.

>Working hard is dumb
>Millennials actually believe this

they really are shapeshifting demons

Put my car on ramps to change out my sway bar. Bolts were too rusted so I'll ask some one else to do it. DAE mechanic here?

Kek

>this thread is legit making me feel bad for not fixing my truck sooner

Kinda hard to re-ring a motor when it's still in the vehicle. Also no engine hoist and it's 10° F in my garage.

went to rotate my tires today.
found this.
it's fixed now and my hands are already clean.

>got my wrenching clothes on
>started driving to my friend's garage so I could work on my car
>forget that I need to stop by AutoZone to pickup my gasket
>turn around
>drive to AutoZone
>find out AutoZone doesn't have the gasket I needed
>drive back home
>watch Drive

I just filled up my gas tank.

who else mechanic here today

Finally replaced stabilizer links today. Was way harder than it needed to be because I tried it last week and couldn't get them off because the nuts were rusted to shit. Got a longer ratchet and extractor socket and they came right off.

Just checked my tire pressure, wrenching is a hard gut rewarding career

Maybe he derimmed the old tires and rimmed the new ones? I do 315s a few times every month and they take alot of lube and a couple dudes to get them done

btw
the battery was over 8 years old
stock lexus one

My girlfriend and mom are amazed that I can change stuff like air filters, batteries, and that by myself.

woosh

Please be trolling. Cars that are complex enough to warrant that kind of fear mongering, like S classes, have 2 batteries so the car's electronics never lose power

Yeah all it took was 8mm bolts and my dad's tool box. I'm Pretty proud. I'm so stupid i bought a nice k&n engine air filter then bought Cold air intake only to learn that it replaces my current air Filter. Gotta start somewhere.

But fiat dealership recommended a 4 cylinder tune up every 30000ish miles. Which from what I understand is just changing the spark plugs. I literally started Veeky Forumsing two weeks ago so I could be wrong. I got sick of paying the mechanical jew for putting shitty products in my car so I want to learn all I can.

I hope you were memeing there son

Put some new oil today, feels good man

>Adding additional work or steps for seemingly no reason
>Not preventing easily avoidable issues like oil everywhere
>"Millennials r dum"
Alright.

Vacuumed my carpet, who else detailer here

A modern tune up would be changing spark plugs and cleaning the throttle body as well as checking and changing whatever fluids are due, though 30k miles is way too early. Modern spark plugs can easily last from 60k to 100k miles

...

also valve clearance check

I can't even imagine what it's like to live life being as stupid as that lady

Noob.