/dfg/ - Dwarf Fortress General

reminded me of this existential horror story

Zimzam is a secret DF dev? Mind blown.
Someone post the Michael Brown semimegabeast raws.

Cancers of the rectum.

nuffen personell kiddo

but did u j-up-up-up-enter behind him

...

Maybe tourneyanon is just in a coma.

I wonder if the new update will be released before he wakes up.

Tourneyanon was just playing the long con

No, I'll post the final fight tomorrow. Sorry guys, I guess everyone's more or less over the whole thing now, but things happened in the real world and I haven't been able to visit /dfg/ or even dorf in a few weeks.
Also please don't meme about me being dead or dying it's starting to spook me.

Woah nice

...

You're welcome, I had to google an authentic DOS VGA font and spend two maybe three whole minutes in Ms paint to shit out that meme I'm surprised I even got the opportunity to use.

In all seriousness, the hype is pretty much dead at this point since the tourney's been dragged out for so long. But some closure would be appreciated nonetheless.

>Dragon
>Known for "killing dog"

>Also please don't meme about me being dead or dying it's starting to spook me.
That's the point.

>don't meme about me being dead or dying
Sorry, tourneyanon, you knew the risks when you took the job. It's not like we're wishing death on you or anything like that, we just assume the worst when our need for instant gratification goes unindulged. Besides, if you buy into the meme magic shit, just keep repeating that meme magic doesn't real until you meme it into reality. Then you'll be effectively immune to rectal cancer.

(To stray fat cat)

You better, your entire career hangs on it and the sponsor are going crazy

youtube.com/watch?v=rcjpags7JT8

Z-z-z-z-zombie!

bumb my drofs

Nice bump man, here's your reward!

I think this is the most hilarious and unpredictable way this game has ever fucked me over.

I made my entrance below the natural waterfall. Unfortunately, the river freezes only downstream of the waterfall, creating a constantly growing ice dam as the water keeps overflowing.

The captain goes down with the ship.

RIP in peace

No way to dig him out?

IT KEEPS HAPPENING

I agree that it is amazingly funny, good luck!

awesome
keep posting screenshots

Oh, NOW the upstream has frozen.
Gee, thanks.

Well, I guess I can at least dam that fucking mass murderer now.

any drownings?

Probably could've saved all of them, but I was too amused to interfere.

whats your fortress named? any fun combat reports come out of this? asking for a friend.

Only langurs and unicorns unfortunately.

bump

>great weaponsmith in migrant wave
>taken by a mood two weeks later
>fucking caravan didn't bring any anvils so I'm forced to just build a wall around him
TOOOAADDYY

>he didn't bring a fucking anvil

Try bringing an anvil along next time.

Not sure what happened to my PC overnight but I am getting such low FPS that I can't even play with under 10 people without getting under 50FPS

>he didnt bring an anvil
devilish

>using a PC that's over a day old
Shit was obsolete an hour after you bought it

>did not bring an avil
user....

>Heading to bandit camp with companion
>Meet some vultures
>Fight them
>All's well, head to cross the river we had to drop out of fast-travel for
>He's not following
>Go back
>He just stands there
>Talk to him
>Hostile as all hell
>Try to reason with him, he tells me he's going to kill me
>Paralyze him in one shot
>He's lying on the ground
>imsorry.jpg
>Put him in a chokehold and suffocate him
>mfw

Dumb frogposter.

Why do you get so triggered by frogs

It's a stupid meme that needs to die but doesn't.

...

Peace out!

No u

I am so hurt and I will never use Pepe memes again
[/sarcasm]

Is there a way to efficiently capture animals? I try placing cage traps all over the place but i can't catch anything,

I'm genuinely curious what was your plan...

First they came for tourneyanon, and I did not speak out, because I didn't care about the tournament.

Then they came for the koboldfags, and I did not speak out, because I was not a koboldfag.

And when they came for the frogposters, I did not speak out, because I was not a frogposter.

Then they came for me, and there was no one left to speak.

/dfg/ would be a better place without all four of these.
Prove me wrong.

You could try making a wall/trench to force the animals through a small area with cage traps.

I'll have you know I made that shitty adventure mode roll chart a few days ago. Someone even reposted it.

I feel like I should add more to it but I need ideas

How about a part focusing on what sort of adventure site to make? After all, that mechanic allows you to make libraries, taverns, mead halls, ect. Plenty of potential there.

I couldn't buy an iron anvil for some reason and I couldn't afford a steel one. Would you guys have coughed up the extra 200?

were you not shitting out overvalued spiked balls by this time?

I meant at embark I could only get a steel one which seemed like it wasn't worth it at the time, and then there wasnt a single anvil of any kind in the caravan

YA DONE MESSED UP A-user

CALM DOWN URICED

...

...

3/3

That last face is an orgasm face if I've ever seen one

>Unfortunately
That's a strange way of spelling interestingly.

>Would you guys have coughed up the extra 200?
I know I would have. I don't ever not take an anvil unless I'm doing a challenge game. I'm not sure how you're supposed to find it hard to afford, either. Maybe if you're taking a full set of steel munitions and a bunch of livestock, plus enough food and drink to last a year? I dunno, it just seems to me like having difficulty affording an anvil on embark means you're wasting your points somewhere.

No one told me necromancer towers had five hundred quadrillion books how am i supposed to find the one that makes me a necromancer?

Try looking for the first one in the list by holding down /

Which one of the six stacks?

That's for you to discover

The one with a different name.

FAT GOBLIN DICKS

HUGE ELF COCKS

enormous kobold phalluses

JESUS CHRIST /dfg/ STOP FUCKING DYING

Please make Toady let you domesticate animals in a way that makes them known to your whole civilization.

fantastic

THICK DWARF CHODES

I agree, but it would make more sense if your brave adventures in animal husbandry had to be exported to the mountainhome first before they became an embark option.

I'm excited for magic. What kind of magical armors or weapons do you think will be possible?

A penis

come back in 5 years and we might know

then another 3 for the update

I don't know, but what I do know is that it will all be too bugged to enjoy, while toady moves on to the next feature completely forgetting about the bugs for years.

Yeah... I just remembered why I don't play dorf fort much anymore.

my mace lords keep jumping to their death

for what purpose

#2 is just the replacement for "Goblins are the only 'civilization' in any world" posters

iirc animals like Crocs and Lizards are based off of their normal animal counterparts, so even though they should be upright, the game thinks they're crawling around and shit

see that's fucking hilarious because now I'm imagining an actual gila monster dual-wielding shields and attempting diplomacy with the local kobold tribe

I want to draw that, but I won't because animals are difficult