I am sick of being bullied on the road. Every single week, without exaggeration...

I strongly dislike them, but shit like a GLE63, X6M or Cayenne/Macan Turbo perform pretty damn well.

anything is fast with a big enough engine.
They are cars driven by overcompensating fags who cant drive or care about cars who are given 500 horsepower in a 2 ton soap bar.

They perform like shit because put that power in a real car and it will run circles around the overweight car with 0 handling.
And worst thing is it has no reason to be a crossover because they literally get stuck on wet grass.
Completely fucking worthless cars.
Only reason they exist is because they fund fantastic projects like the new cayman.

Still all their owners should be lined up and shot infront of their children

This post is the objective truth. Every single crossover ever built is a pile of rolling garbage.

Juke bashing aside, anyone have comments on the cars or possible other suggestions? Besides the obvious "kill yourself"

I feel your pain. I feel like there are way too many people who want to take a little moment to feel good about themselves and race me from stoplights, or aggressively pass me and cut me off, or my favorite, invade the car's personal space in parking lots. They know I'm slower than them so I'm an easy target.

Kill yourself

>veloster tard

you deserve everything that happens to you

t. Trackhawk.

Anything's better than a Juke mang.

Lmao there are literally no performance mods in that

Skirts and some carbon Fibre flair are not oeferamance mods

Nismo is flair and badges, Nismo RS is performance . Nismo is the stock 188hp and 177 ft-lb, whereas the RS tune is 215 HP and 210 ft-lb

crash into people to teach them

This. Let's take something like the corvette. It's just some old shit box Chevy had lying around and added a fiberglass body, leaf springs, pop up headlights (what separates a shitbox from a godmachine), and threw in an engine from the thiccest trucc they had.

Get ready to have people automatically assume you're an asshole if you switch to a Challenger or Mustang. It's not exactly the same since it's just a V6 with a relatively quiet stock exhaust, no mods, and feminine like a penis, but driving my Gen Coupe is a night and day difference from driving my Civic. People just seem to snap at the slightest shit and tend to cut me off as if they're trying to prove something. Or they sit on my ass when I'm doing 85 already on a commute, especially V6 Camrys or some trimmed up Nissan or Infiniti. You ever play grabass with a fucking sperg in a minivan trying to cut you off constantly until you're both doing over 100 mph on a desert freeway? Every fucking day or two, someone flashes their highbeams at me from behind if I dare to reach 3.5k RPM before shifting or accelerate to the speed limit faster than they can.
But at least you'll be able to leave them all behind if you go for a pony car. Get the V8, throw on an obnoxious exhaust, and become the asshole they expect you to be.

You Veloster guys never reciprocate my thumbs up. Bunch of cunts. I don't even like your cars or even my own, but we need some sort of camaraderie to live with these decisions we've made. Even in Auschwitz you could probably rep your gas chamber.

Wow a fucking ecu tune. I wouldn't call something you can do in 5 minutes a fucking "performance mod" you'd think they'd put a bigger engine, or a turbo or some better intake or exhaust. Nope just a tune. So now your overweight crossover makes a little more power than a civic and you paid more than a wrx which is far lighter and better

>Juke
They presume you're a scared little girl and rightfully so.

But the stock juke already has a turbo so why would they need to add one?

Do a twin turbo, supercharger or a slew of other things to make more Power.

Youd think for 28k+ it'd make about as much power as the 370 which makes like 350 I think?

> supercharger meme

Oh who cares. Nissan could have done way better for what it was. There are a slew of things that could have helped make more Power but nope they didn't. It's overpriced shit

Doesn’t this car have clutched differentials? Iirc, this is one of the crossovers with a better AWD for some reason.

sadly AWD is only offered on CVT

i like jukes.

It's not even real awd. It's just the stupid bullshit that only kicks in when it's slipping

...

> not even real awd

its okay to talk shit about jukes user but dont actually be retarded

It's not all wheen drive all the time. It's just some stupid gimmick that only turns on if it detects traction loss just like every other stupid crossover and suv that isn't an Acura sh-awd or Subaru awd

People love to shit on audi for "not having real AWD" on here all the time

get a crown vic panther body and you'll thank me later faggot.

My mom thought one of these was the coolest thing she's ever seen.
"What is that? Looks fast!"
I imagine that is why people try to race them.

Straight pipe it or get a "luxury" car (Infiniti, Lexus, Acura, etc) if you want to get noticed

You're probably going too slow.

I do 79 on a 70, and following florida laws if someone is coming up behind me at a faster speed, I move to the right. Some people just get buttmad that I'm in a line of cars in front of me and they try to rush up in the right lane to get ahead of me, but still in the line of slow cars

Finally, someone with an even gayer car than me

>JUKE

>PERFORMANCE

>MODS

weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeew lad

>tfw your vehicle is so high and has so many blindspots you can't even see the crossover cucks you cut off

Sort of a victimless crime at that point.

Congrats on being 2nd gayest.

The problem with that mentality is that you are now relegated to being an asshole 100% of the time. Some days you might not feel up to it, but you're still going to get hassled by cops, sperged on by boiracers, and flipped off by moms in Cayennes.

The path of the asshole is not to be walked by everyone.

I'd honestly consider adding an mw50 anti-knock injection system with an appropriate ecu tune to a Juke for the luls.

My family owns 3 cars
>Toyota Yaris
>Subaru Impreza
>Mercedes-Benz S-Class
Middle one being mine.
When my father got the Mercedes he was astounded how much nobody bothered him on the road. I didn't believe him and thought it was placebo. Then I got home for the holidays and drove it for a couple of days. No one, I mean no one takes your right of way, nobody cuts you off, everybody yield, even if they have right of way. I was shocked. I got back into my car and everything was fine, I will get cut off, but nothing out of the ordinary, rarely would I get bullied for driving. Then I drove my mother's Yaris. It. Was. A. Disaster. In the span of 2 kilometers I got cut off 3 times. It is like I was invisible, and it is not like I was on a crossroad or anything all three times were people that were merging out of a smaller street into a Boulevard.
It is insane.

No reason to stay slower. Invest like $400 and you're already faster than most stock hatches. Hell, a simple ecu tune and a downpipe makes you faster than a good majority of the competition.

That's literally everyday in socal. Everybody merges into everyone all the time it's basically normal.

I wouldn't fuck with an s class because I don't want to mortgage an insurance payment if I hit it

It's not a w140, it's a 23 year old car.

I meant
>It's not expensive, it's a w140, a 23 year old car.
2 am isn't exactly the best time to write posts.

From experience I can say a brightly coloured muscle car not only commands more respect but is also more easily seen. Even very large vehicles like semi trucks will sometimes wait for you because they think you might be a maniac

I wouldn't fucking know. I, like every poorfag, see Benz or bimmer emblem and just think of yea I can't afford that. It's the same mentality a lot of stupid kids have when they buy a 25 year old Benz thinking it'll make them look rich, cuz to the average hoorat it will. Then you see them crying later when they can't afford 90 dollar brake pads or 16 Bosch iridium spark plugs and a 250 wire set or like 150 each coil packs kek.

That being said no one fucks with me on the road because my car is literally made from un aligned bodies of dead cars, rattle canned, supercharged and loud as fuck.

>OP getting juked left and right in his Juke
>Probably the shittiest driver and thinks everyone else is in the wrong.
Lol

Why don't you just drive like a white person?

>Current year
>Driving a crossover
Get off Veeky Forums, mom.

>drive like a white person

youtube.com/watch?v=L104LViQeIw

That literally hurts my eyes just to look at.

I'm serious.

I don't know why everybody hates the Juke when the Cube is way the fuck uglier, and unsymmetrical. The Juke is so retarded looking that's it's almost acceptable especially in the days of modern crossover design.

Fuck off retard

Is your FJ *quietly appreciating in value*?

Yes, like all FJs.

I just saw a 2007 sell at auction for $7,900. It was literally half burned from a fire, the entire front end was gone.

We're suppose to like an ugly piece of shit because there's an uglier piece of shit out there? Everybody hates both.

I have an 2011 Outback 3.6R that performs pretty well, for what it is:
-200ish HP
-5 speed auto
-8.7inches of ground clearance (good for rough roads)
Kind of a heavy car though, still love it to death!

>3.6
>200hp

lol nigga that's like Toyobaru tier

Kek

>drive a pontiac aztek
>don't get bullied on the road
why don't you drive cool cars?

256hp

>quick
>nimble
>fun

>juke

juke rhymes with puke for a reason

>wants to trade his cuck mobile in for a truck or muscle car

you have a small penis, right?

2018 Mustang GT with the performance pack. It's more car than you'll ever need unless you are a legit race car driver (you're not). They made serious improvements to this year's model and the handle is vastly better in every way.

>Red FJ cruiser
That’s pretty gay tbqh, should’ve gotten the real deal, not the the toy version

I'm gonna bully every juke I see from now on

>Get the V8, throw on an obnoxious exhaust, and become the asshole they expect you to be.

This. This exactly. Fuck everyone else on the road. People are total assholes, and a lot of them are poorfag failures who made their own lives a god damned mess, and it's your American duty to rub their noses in their own shit.

While I'm a fan of the Challengers I don't feel like they are nimble enough for true assholery. I would get a 2018 Mustang GT with the performance package, a Camaro SS with the 1LE, or an M2. FYI M2 with the competition pack comes out in April of this year. The BMW will really shit in their Cheerios. People HATE BMW drivers. It's what I drive and I fucking love to drink in their tears. I also have a V8 Mustang and that also pisses people off. Life is good.

>have terminator mustang
>loudest fucking exhaust l could put on it
>just fly past normies at double their speed
>overtake without blinkers
>whys it fucking matter when lm accelerating 10x as fast as them
>jet fighter through traffic
>get good at identifying cops or pay

Im not romanticizing my life or saying what I do is good. Its just what I fucking do and Ive never cared to stop.
I hope I end up in a ditch somewhere with my kenne bell through my skull. Until then. Fuck everyone else.

You're my hero. And I like the cut of your jib.

Get a trackhawk

>I am sick of being bullied on the road. Every single week, without exaggeration, at least once or twice I get merged into or someone tries to pass me on the shoulder, or they just come up on the right and cut me off.
I don't know that feel, sorry.

You need to make it loud. Header, test pipe, & catback plus maybe a bov (that is a tarbo right?). I drive a Fit and since having those on it, nobody fucks with it. Also, drive controlled-aggressively not defensively.

>Modifying a fit

Unless you bought your fit used for like 4,000 you overpayed for it and could have gotten something way better. E.g 2007 350z w/ revised engine I bought for 5000 no issues and is clean my current daily. I also bought a 2006 Miata only 5500. Hell I got a G35 coupe for $3800 and fixed the cosmetic issues.

being fast and having fun > fuel economy and looking like a lame poor fag

Trust me im broke as a joke but I still daily cars that arent slow and unnoticed. If I have a problem with anyone in the road in my Z? Shift back to 3rd and in 3 secs they are 500ft away from me.

2018 Mustang GT Premium with the Performance pack comes in cheaper than the 2018 Charger SRT 392 with similar luxury features (fancy cruise control, lane assist, etc).

I might go test drive one

...

I'm a pretty jacked dude so you can see my muscles through the window of my shitbox. No one usually cuts me off

OP drives a juke so the chances of him being jacked are super small

that's the ugliest car ever, idk why faggots buy it

ugly cars can be charming

200ish HP does not equate to 256hp

so which is it

and are we talking WHP or BHP, because Subies are notorious for leeching power

I'd be surprised if OP was getting 200HP to the wheels from that disgusting shit engine.

The LC looks like a fucking mom-mobile now, no one actually takes those offroad anymore. They're basically a beefed up Highlander. The FJ is a far better offroader now.

>have fun smashing your delicate plastic running boards on rocks

sometimes it helps to drive a crusty shitbox because people keep their distance

they figure if your car looks like crap you probably smash into stuff/people all the time

plus they don't want to park near you because they think you're poor and dangerous

Pound for pound, and in bare stock form, the FJs and 4Runners will spank your Landcruiser offroad. The old Landcruisers were definitely something to be reckoned with, but Toyota has really just coasted on the meme-tier status of the label now. The fact that they've gone with such crossover styling, including those big running boards, speaks to how little these are meant to be used on anything beyond a gravel road. Fuck, they don't even have a rear mounted spare, you'd have to climb under the fucking truck to get it.

Don't get me wrong, the Landcruiser is still a great vehicle and if I were buying something for a daily driver, grocery getter, kid hauler, etc. it would be a top pick.

But calling an FJ a "toy version" is childish jealousy. Toyota took all the best parts from the Taco/Landcruiser/4Runner and made a purpose built vehicle for offroading. About the only major compromise they made was IFS, which is really only a problem if you want to do massive rock-crawling on Moab and need a 15 inch lift.

Sorry if that triggers you, but I really don't get the hate for FJs. They were a better vehicle than Wranglers, but muh nationalism just outsold them 10:1.

Faster than the GT86

So is my lawn mower.

No one is here to defend the shitty Toyobaru, it's a whole other kind of disappointment.

But just because one thing is gay and lame does not mean the other is not also gay and lame.

If anything the Juke is gayer because it's a FWD crossover bitchmobile, at least the Toyobaru is RWD and manual.

They're both 4 cylinder shitboxes tho.

fwd juke is manual

awd is CVT

Thank you FJ is a great vehicle, but have fun looking like a literal vape douche to everyone on else on the road, while I look exude stateliness.

>CVT is even an option

get the fuck out

looks like a mallcrawler u stupid fag, please stop pretending you own a landcruiser - pic related is an actual landcruiser

>exude stateliness

Can't tell if this is a troll or not.

this just makes me mad bro. who tf thought that was a great combo? plus, you can’t even choose manual+awd.

don't worry user, there is a car for you

I wasn't hating brother, just teasing. FJ is a great vehicle