Driving around the backroads in my shitbox

>driving around the backroads in my shitbox
>doing about 60
>some roastie with her face stuck in her iphone keeps creeping up on me in her shitbox Dodge Caravan then backing off and repeating ad nauseum
>fuck it
>no one else around
>shitbox i'm currently driving is worth $500 tops and is falling apart, need a new car
>check rearview mirror, make sure she's not paying attention
>her face is buried in the phone, perfect
>downshift into 1st gear (took a lot of force)
>brace for impact
>release clutch
>car feels like it hit a brick wall
>watch my speed drop from 60mph to 30mph
>wind gets knocked out of me when the dodge collapses my trunk, airbags go off and everything
>only a couple bruises, small cut on arm, neck hurts
>without skipping a beat, grab phone, get out of car, walk up to her Caravan
>shes dazed, but makes eye contact, blood pouring down her face
>tell her "You are so fucked"
>muster up an alarmed tone
>call 911, explain what happened and where
>sit on the side of the road till the cops come, thinking about what I'm gonna do with all the money
>she can't record me or take pictures because her phone was smashed between her face and the airbag
>cops arrive
>she tries to tell them I suddenly stopped in front of her and that my brake lights didn't work (lol manual transmission ftw)
>tell the officer that she was tailgating me and I had to hit the brakes "because of a deer in the road"
>officer takes my side, she should have been following at a safe distance
>get carted off to the hospital for whiplash
>she gets a ticket for no seatbelt, texting and driving, tailgating, and causing an accident
>her insurance gives me $3,500
>smug at my accomplishment of taking a tailgating retard off the road, making traffic a tiny bit better, and potentially saving another person's life by stopping her myself
>currently looking at a new shitbox to buy

So what should I get Veeky Forums? Any suggestions?
Something that is rwd, is stick shift, has decent horsepower, and is under $3.5k

>things that never happened

>everything that happens in the world must be well within my tiny specific set of parameters or it didn't happen

Get a 3k civic

Seen this pasta before.

I considered it for a little while, I just want something rwd and with a little more power.

Let's see the police report or pictures of the damage user? I'm very interested to see the accident...

That would me it actually happened.

Would be neat though

Get a miata then pull the same stunt

He just admitted to fraud, why on earth would he post any identifying documents?

She may have been tailgating him, but she was right about the brake lights so she was at least paying attention then.

This same trick would cause even normal people to crash into you, real dick move man.

What if she was seriously injured and had kids? How can you hurt another human being and call that a win?

OP is sick, I don’t like tailgaters but someone willing to do this is worse than a tailgater.....