Waiting at red traffic signal

this is supposed to be a shitpost thread but this really fucking happened somewhat

>cop pulls me over
>asking me a whole bunch of shit
>"where ya goin? You been drinkin? You got anything in the car?"
>he's having a bad fucking day
>everything checks out
>writes me a ticket for having air freshener
>"obstructing view"

I want to know the man who pissed in his cereal so I can ask where I can piss in it too

Kek

>wake up
>walk to the toilet
>pulled over for cruising
>try to convince the cop I just woke up
>won't believe me
>shit my self as he hands me a ticket and court notice

>sleeping
>greeted with cop screaming "I JUST SAW YOU 3 TIMES THROUGH THAT INTERSECTION
>w-what...?
>begins writing me a ticket as i rub the crust out of my eyes

what does this image have to do with anything

Stop lookin at your phone cunt

>ticket literally just for driving on public roads
What kind of fucking communist city do you live in? I've never heard of that shit.

Tesla is the best luxury car in the world.

This

>Waiting to make a right turn at a red light
>No turn on red, cause it was a blind intersection
>3 cars behind me blaring their horn

>it is dark
>i am scared and crying
>i see a i light as i exit the womb
>a strange man is holding me
>but wait this is no doctor
>ANY IDEA HOW FAST YOUR WHERE COMING OUT OF THAT WOMB BUDDY?

This happens up north, not in the south
t. southerner who read about it on the internet

wait what the fuck does this mean
is this a meme or something

>Stew in mothers womb for 9 months
>o-oh shit whats happening
>get shit out of a front arse
>cop tickets me for cruising in the same vaginal passage for too long

...

This doesn't happen. No one honks "immediately" after the light turns green. It may SEEM to you like the light just turned green, but that's because you aren't paying attention. Put your phone down and drive

I swear if you faggots say Cali has the best car scene one more time... Fuck what a cuckhole.

>all these retards saying it doesn't happen
It does. I live in las vegas and it happens all the time to me. I'll be waiting at a stop light and people will honk at me literally a half a second after the light turns green.

moral of the story 99% of the people on the planet are retards except for the 1%ers like me

>medium
weak

You should be in gear and "staging" or rolling slightly as the opposite light turns yellow. If everybody did this we'd have way the fuck less traffic and we'd be able to ge more than 5 cars through a fucking light cycle.

It only takes a few people sleeping at the light with their fingers up their dick to fuck up the flow. Especially on 5 second turn signal lights.

>waiting to turn right onto main road
>obvious heavy incoming traffic
>guy behind me starts honking and shouting behind me
>intentionally wait longer and let him yell some more
>he floors it past me, merges 3 lanes without looking or signaling and runs the red by a second
>beat up, lowered, slightly stanced 92 civic hatch covered in stickers with a fart can exhaust
Is this the true power of the cheap civic with a few simple mods crowd?

>get stuck in left lane when my right is coming up
>first at the light
>hold down the brake with the left, get ready to slam it with the right
>take off at mach one while everyone else is just starting to roll out
>I know it is autistic, but it feels good every time

>go to the shopping mall on a saturday
>place is packed, nowhere to park
>circle the parking lot 2 times looking for a spot
>notice the mall cop parked by the exit watching me
>start to go around a 3rd time
>nervoussweating.png
>still nowhere to park
>say fuck it, head for the exit
>not worth going to jail over
>mall peace officer spots me
>cherries flick on
>FUCK!
>pull over
>give license and registration, phone number and social media passwords
>wait while mall officer sits in his car for 45 minutes inspecting my facebook and twitter for suspicious activity
>he calls backup
>getting scared
>2 mall cops rip me out of my car
>slam me to the ground
>shatter my cheekbone and teeth on the concrete
>one cop puts his knee on my neck and cuffs me while the other shoves his gun in my cheek
>scream out in pain
>'STOP RESISTING'
>get tazed
>shit myself
>'THINK YOU CAN CRUISE IN MY PARKING LOT HUH?'
>'THINK YOU CAN FUCK AROUND AT MY MALL?'
>at this point they're pistol whipping me and stomping my head
>i'm crying and trying to apologize as they beat me
>forget that crying is considered resisting
>elbows me in the back of the head and uses mace
>at this point i begin having a seizure and going into convulsions
>my biggest mistake
>'HE'S TRYING TO GET AWAY, HE'S GOT A GUN'
>the mall cop then puts his gun to my head and unloads 17 rounds ending my life

I'll never cruise again

Waiting in line at Costco gas
Guy infront of me moves forward
Some faggot cut in front of me

>americans get fined for DRIVING
ok i am literally laughing my asshole off what a shithole

>Waiting in line at Costco gas

Why the fuck do people do this? You sit there idling away $2 worth of gas to save $2.

>buying gas from costco to begin with
stupidity knows no bounds

>be me sitting on the toilet masturbating, >cop kicks door open yelling something about no cruising and intersections. and hands me a ticket.
>Keeps masturbating

Oh I've seen worse. You see Asian dudes rolling into the shitty cheap gas stations in their brand new GTR's and $140k AMG's.

>when the SOY-TEC kicks in

this happens at least once on my daily commute

This is a very common occurrence in NZ chinatowns.
75% chance any rich car that has a terrible driver is asian, but it's a dead giveaway when everyone hops out of the car and guides the drive into a empty parking spot.

>mini
Fucking lightweight lol

I apologise for not having a prolapsed anus

>no cumtube

is this even worth it?

i like wolves and deers. i don't like horses. Does it feel better than other models.

thats what happens when you are too slow

I experience this at least once a week. What the fuck are you talking about

>mini
>no cum tube
>clear cum lube

I bet you don’t even drive a miata you fucking poser

see
and i already own cum lube. why would i buy more? and why do I need a cum tube?

>not wanting to feel the big bad wolf bust his warm nut in you

Are you fucking gay or something

i heard that you can't feel cum inside you anyways. what's the purpose of the cleanup if you can't feel it?

wtf my name

>this thread has turned into actual faggotry

cry about it

Uh that’s why you leave the syringe in a bucket of hot water to make it warm, also doing the same with the toy prior to insertion. You probably using too much lube if you can feel it squirting in you even when room temp. Anyway all this talk is making my BP wet, time to touge my miata to cool off

Can’t*

alright you've convinced me. ill buy one.

>Veeky Forums - bad dragon

>tfw thought this thread was memeing about anti-cruising laws
>it's fucking real
How the fuck has that shit not been taken to the supreme court as a violation of civil rights?

What

>see autistic kid in his mum's civic
>honk at him for fun at the traffic light
>he get's scared and stalls his car
>feel bad because he'll probably drive home to make a post on Veeky Forums

>Oh this cruising thing must be just another Veeky Forums
>Look it up
>Cruising is defined as driving with no clear purpose or destination and may incur a penalty
HAHAHAHA WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK AMERICANS

/k/ommando here i feel at home in this thread

>At a large, busy intersection waiting for left turn light during rush hour
>destination lane is totally stuffed with cars
>some cars in that lane are still blocking the intersection because they have nowhere to go
>light turns green
>I don't go because I'd also be stuck in the middle of the intersection
>car behind me immediately starts honking

>waiting to turn left behind several cars in left turn lane
>protected left turns green, several cars go
>protected left ends, light changes to left turn yield on green as I approach the intersection
>street I'm on is a steep hill that crowns at the line where the intersection begins, so I can't see if there's traffic coming straight at this point
>let off the gas to slow down as I enter the intersection so I have time to stop if there is oncoming traffic
>there wasn't, so I continue on
>lady behind me SLAMS on the brakes because she wasn't paying attention and assumed I'd just go
>she floors it to catch up to me on the right and give me a wtf face and a shrug
>I do the same
This is why you pay attention at the lights, if I'd had to brake for an oncoming car to pass before I turned she would have rear ended me.

This, but you don't budge for the retard, and then someone from the other lane merges ahead of you so he's stuck in the intersection.

>mini
Lol my medium Austin is about the same size as a normal human dong, that's gonna be so small you're not even gonna feel it.
>medium chance
My negro

and he did

>he doesn't cruise after a shitty day at work

>working were your days could get shitty

I get paid to sit and watch movies or play vidya.

Not bad

I would call every day a shitty day if I had to sit still watching movies and playing games. Not all of the games/movies would be good either
I would get extremely restless

I do. I do agree that I’d rather be outside. It’s not permanent. It’s until I get what I want. 4 days on 4 days off. I spend a good hour working out in the basement but it’s not bad for easy money and 4 days off a week

what exactly is your work? do you review the movie/games? how comprehensive is it? how much do you make?

I monitor networks, servers and backups for their status and health. If a server has a failure or issue I try and fix it or arrange onsite engineers. Just 12 hours between 7pm and 7am nothing internal happens so you end up spending your time watching or gaming to keep yourself awake.

I’m basically a baby sitter for datacentres.

Not great money. Not what I want to do after all. About £22k

Why reply to a nonexistent post?

>>the mall cop then puts his gun to my head and unloads 17 rounds ending my life
a kek a day keeps the gun away
thank you

Its been so long since I've seen an unedited version of this gif

This