What are your jankiest repairs?

do you happen to live in the southeastern US?

I used JB weld to stop a leak coming from my thermostat... I feel bad for the next owner that gets to see that shit.

Rear Caliper kept locking on my shitbox. So poor i couldnt afford a new caliper. Took a pair of pliers and locked it on the hose to the caliper and drove on it till i got a job and bought a new caliper. Not my proudest moment

02 ford lightning
>blew spark plug out of head
>put in sleeve and reinstalled
>year later it blows out again
>no saving this now
>jb weld spark plug in head
>after it sets, drive to dealership and trade it on new car.

Just replaced the intermediate shaft on a '92 mustang. The bolts holding the shaft to the power steering rack and steering wheel didn't fit after re installation, so I just put zip-ties through the bolt holes and called it a day.

Right now that plastic loom that holds my centre brake light is fucked and just won't click into the lens. So I electrical taped that shit in.

It works though, and it's visible, so meh. Probably not even the worst one on here, but it felt ghetto rigged st the time.

>after it sets, drive to dealership and trade it on new car.

>be college poorfag
>90 chebby lumina leaking oil constantly
>engine has over 300k on it so I don’t really give a fuck
>leaking starting to get gradually worse
>commit the automotive sin of using stop leak one oil change
>leak actually subsides.jpg
>mfw I probably royaly McFucked the engine internals in the process
>electrical issues made shitbox a kill several months later
>dad gave it away to one of his friends, haven’t seen it since

had a 99 lumina as my first car until the brake lines blew out while I was driving and I didn't bother fixing them because the car was such a shitbox

>>take it to shop for oil change
Only thing you should be ashamed of here.

retard detected

>take it to shop
>give them oil
>walk home, have lunch, walk back, pay them a tenner and drive home.
vs
>change clothes
>push car out of garage
>get oem jack
>lift car slightly
>get hydraulic jack
>put it under car
>lift it up
>go find jack stands and put them under the car
>crawl around under the car
>find a big bucket for oil
>spill oil everywhere
>discover bucket has a leak
>spend hours cleaning everything from oil
>transfer oil to oil bottle
>discover other oil bottle has fresh oil in, have to find another container
>clean the oil bottles
>throw them in the frunk
>lift the car off jack stands
>lower the car onto oem jack
> move lower oem jack
>put everything back you found them
>change clothes, wash
>go on google maps and forums and spend half a day finding a place that accepts used motor oil
>drive out, throw it there, go back home
And I have to change oil more often since my car hobby consists of racing cars instead of shitting on anonymous korean sedan club forums getting angry over people not wanting to waste time they could use productively

Sounds like you're a bit of a bitch

>Drive onto 1x6 because my car actually runs and I don't need to push it
>Get low profile jack out
>Don't fuck around with jack stands or changing clothes, it's a god-damned oil change
>Drain oil into $8 oil catch can
>Drain filter
>Fill filter, thread in the bolt & filter
>Add fresh oil
>Carry oil container off into the woods and dump it

>muh oil changes are not a big deal
>OH MY GOD YOU DONT CHANGE YOUR OWN OIL YOU ARE THE WROST PERSON IN THE WORLD AND I AM THE BESTEST OH MY GOD LOOK LET ME WRITE OUT A 20 PAGE POST EXPLAINING HOW SMALL A DEAL OIL CHANGING IS
id rather drive it than spend time under it running around with fucking oil containers and fishing out oil filters from cramped engine bay

You're adding so many extra steps. What the fuck are you doing?
>put ramps in front of wheels
>drive up on them and put blocks behind back wheels and handbrake on
>place cardboard mat down
>drain oil into pan
>drain filter
>new filter and bolt back in
>new oil
>dump catch can into now empty container
>lower car and drive old oil to auto parts store

I dont know where the oil filter on my honda is so I just change the oil and not filter every 300 miles

>I'D RATHER DRIVE IT

Shortly beforehand
>Walk home
>Have lunch
>Walk back

What. That time spent walking could've been put towards something productive. You seem to think your time is so valuable.
>And he posts on Veeky Forums

Time to get your ego checked buddy.

still easier to drive to a shop with people I know 3 minute walk away from my home give them a tenner

Its not like oil changes are interesting or exciting you literally lift car up undo a few bolts drain the liquids and pour new shit in

changing oil is not like cooking or making coffee.
End result is the fucking same unless they overtighten the bolts

>What. That time spent walking could've been put towards something productive. You seem to think your time is so valuable
i have 2 shops literally within 3 small european suburban blocks away from my house

Busted a brake line in the highway, used a pair of channel locks on the broken end so I could get back home. I was surprised it held, I only brakes lightly.

Has a clutch slave loose all fluid, and all I had was a straw to transfer fluid from the brake master to the slave. Fucking took me 15 fucking minutes to get enough to drive away. Mouth was numb for 2 hours.

>>take it to shop for oil change
Yeah I'd be pretty ashamed of that too.

>i change my own oil guys im fucin badass imma true enthusiast
Underage

>Have CEL and rough idle
>tear hair out trying to find why
>find broken vacuum line
>30 year old line, so no surprise.
>It broke right at the connector
>Fuck.
>Use electrical tape to put it all back together.
>CEL and rough idle went away

Sold the car (an Oldsmobile) years ago.
Felt slightly bad that I never told the buyer about my electrical tape fix.

Ziptie motor mount

Drove a 50ish mile trip to get a new MAF sensor because I managed to drop a screwdriver while cleaning intake parts so perfectly precisely it broke the hot wire inside.
Had to hold the throttle at all times because it stalled otherwise.
Also currently have a leaky radiator hose just ziptied into oblivion until i can be arsed to get a new one and fix it.

>be me, poorfag with no welder
>rust ring on shitbox exhaust pipe finally cleaves exhaust in half
>car gets loud as fuck
>pretty fun for a couple of months, decide to finally fix it
>no welder, no problem
>drill two holes into each pipe
>thread wire from a coat hanger through each one and wrap it around
>it fucking works
>drive like this for about 3 more months
>make friends with a guy who knows how to weld
>all it cost me was a case of beers and $20 to get the shit welded back together

I ended up using twisty ties in order to fasten and maintain my motorcycle battery. You know those bread ties?

bamp

I've used mig wire

I JBWelded an exhaust manifold bolt into my bike's engine after the original bolt broke and trying to drill it out fucked up the hole to a large extent.

Hasn't moved a bit since.

Broke my power steering reservoir and didn't wanna pay $135 for another piece of shitty 30 year old plastic so I just went to my local pick and pull and grabbed one off a random car for 15$

Fuel pressure regulator failed on me out in the boonies and I just clamped off the return line and drove back 80km without any problems

Going to Ace hardware for new lug bolts

>wheel hub is leaking grease and diff fluid out the ass
>go to replace seals and bearings
>see this
>coat a piece of thin cardboard with high grade gasket glue and place it all back together

9 weeks later it's holding on. Cardboard gaskets are OP.

> you are like baby
I fucked up and stripped one of the bolt inlets on the water pump. Instead of boring it out and putting a helicoil in it, i tried chipping it out and left a dime sized hole on the side of the block. I stuffed it full of jb weld, torqued the other 3 bolts on the water pump down, and shoved a bolt in there and let it dry overnight, and assembled everything.

That was 5 years ago

Pulled a front caliper of my e28 that was frozen and blocked it with wood then zip tied it to frame. Freed itself up after a month reinstalled and drove it another 10k

You should also note that an average joe can spend over 40 dollars just on oil and filters when an oil change place usually can do it cheaper and they dispose of the waste oil.

It is really not economical to change your own oil unless you just a) like doing it and/or b)have a specific oil and filter in mind

that is an incredible waste of money and also not good for your car

That's basically exactly what I did for my bike's exhaust manifold.

Is there anything JB Weld can't fix?

It's holding half my fairings together as well.

>my bumper is held on with zip ties

>86' CRX
>3 Bolts holding thermostat housing
>Strip one bolt hole
>Replace with C-clamp
>sell car

The closest bolt to the camera is the one I stripped

You are such a soy, they're laughing at you from their shop.

>repair
Mod.
I cut open the stock air cleaner housing with a pair of snips for that sweet cold air intake and trimmed the hole out with some of that plastic chrome door piping stuff that was laying around.
1965 Mustang Coupe Straight 6, btw.

>Filll filter

What now?

Haha, holy shit. Thanks no I'm more paranoid than I already was.

I had the exhaust hangar pull through the floor of my 84 trans am. Mind you the guy that owned it before me put on cut off dual exhausts with no crossover that had the turn down right in front of the rear axle. The pipe was just laying on the ground, so I cut out my non functioning hood release cable and used that to tie up the exhaust.

Enoy your stripped drain plugs, dummies.

had a soft drink bottle as my washer resevoir for a while, bought a pump/motor, cut a hole for it into the bottle and siliconed it in. only cost to me was the empty bottle and whatever silicone i used. rather than 50+ for a resevoir.

I decided to hack off my exhaust to remove the transmission only to be too lazy to put it back on

When you change your oil, you're supposed to fill the filter to eliminate that fraction of a second of wear from running with no oil pressure.

I was replacing the sway bar bushing and a bolt snapped off so I just zip-tied the front sway bar to the frame. Pretty janky if you ask me.

>car is standing on the road already
>idle it for 10min or so to warm up engine and oil
>meanwhile, get new oil, oil pump, new oil filter, ratchet and adaptor for filter, old canister, and oil drain pan.
>stop engine, pull dipstick, push in oil pump hose, put other hose in old canister
>start oil pump
>meanwhile, put on latex gloves
>replace oil filter, a few drops hit the drain pan
>remove latex gloves
>oil pump sucks air now
>in b4: Pump hose actually reaches bottom of oil pan
>switch off pump, clean hose, put everything back
>pour in new oil slightly over max mark B/C empty filter
>done
>spent €25 and 30min.

Filter on my civic is accessible from the bottom of the car behind a cover that is removed with I believe 6 bolts, not as easy as your car. Might consider a pump for my 2 other cars I guess.
What does Veeky Forums think of such oil pumps?

Had a rusted to fuck squarebody (michigan here) that had it's coolant reservoir start leaking.
One empty Mtn. Dew 2 liter and some spare tubing later we were back in business.
Also at one point the aircraft maintenance facility my father worked at accidentally filled their diesel pumps with regular gas. It ended up being a roughly a quarter diesel to unleaded mixture.
For like a month they let people take it for free if they wanted so we ran our beater ass truck off of it. It ran just not well.

>electric window motor broke
>no prob, just pull up the window, it holds
>3k km the window goes a tad down, just enough to make noises when driving over 140kph
>decide to fix it like last time
>push it down even further, won't hold in the upmost position
>put 2 pieces of wood inside the door to hold the glass up and use universal sealant tape on the part where the roof and window/door glass meet for the last 1 mm of space
>I still didn't buy a new window motor

Until everyone else made up his mind, I'll chime in. There are dedicated pumps of the purpose of extracting oil. I researched this topic a lot, and the cheap ones leak or burn out. I scored on ebay and got this used industrial pump which is ridiculously over-engineered.
ebay.de/itm/Zahnradpumpe/132522613962
Many extraction pumps have stiff PVC tubes, but I like silicone better:
ebay.de/itm/291939466448

Finally, to reach down the dipstick tube, you need a teflon tube 4x6mm.
ebay.de/itm/252585487044

I stiffened the last part of this tube by taking 20cm of 1.5mm diameter music wire, and bending one end 5mm long sideways 90°. I squeezed one end of the teflon tube flat (oval) with pliers so that, after inserting the straight part of the music wire, the bent end also fit in about 1cm past the end of the tube. I then rotated the pliers 90° and squeezed the tube the opposite way, so that the wire's bent end got embedded in the tube wall and held the wire securely in place. To make sure you reach the bottom of the oil pan, you need to screw off the drain plug one time the first time you try this method to confirm all oil got extracted. Mine looked like pic related.

In early 2000s in soviet poland I remember driving with my dad and we were like 200km away from our house when our exhaust pipe fell off.
Dad used redbull can to somehow put it all together and we made it home. It was loud as fuck but worked.

JB weld to leaking auto transmission

>an average joe can spend over 40 dollars just on oil and filters
Fucking how?
Almost any big chain parts store will have a 5 qt + oil filter special for $20 at any given time

Almost any chain store will let you bring in used oil to dispose of too

>be 7 years old
>dad lets me help him fix car as bonding moment
>he was drinking a green powerade
>I drank the rest of it while he wasn't looking
>realize he would get mad if he found out
>idea
>fill powerade bottle with coolant from coolant container laying around
>he sees bottle and doesn't notice the difference

He died a week later, stomach problems :(

Recalls never end, dingus.

>>go on google maps and forums and spend half a day finding a place that accepts used motor oil
Literally any recycling center?

...

>making coffee.
It is actually EXACTLY like making coffee. Insert filter, add liquid, go.

Depends, a true recall doesn't, but manufacturers have weaseled their way into turning some pretty significant issues into "mandatory service bulletins" which can sometimes duck under the radar of NHTSA/whatever governing body is in your country. I did a recall repair to a car from 1995 a few years ago, there are cars out there that fall under recalls but the owner would never get contacted since the record keeping isn't near sharp enough to make sure every car is taken care of.

So rather than paying $135 for BRAND NEW plastic you spent money on actual 30 year old plastic. Genious.

Stop lying

Not a repair but a total bigger rig
>be me like 4 years ago
>dad gets new exhaust on his bronco and "gives me" his old flowmaster super 44s and by give me I mean I took them off our scrap trailer
>hack my stock muffler off my 06 ranger
>dads muffler is 3 inch my rangers exhaust is like 2 and a half so I fill in the gaps with welds
>hack a section of my old pipe to make a 90 degree turn and weld some cheap as tip on it and paint it black
>don't have an hangers and the muffler is Extermly close to the driveshaft so I grab a price of bar stock and bend it and weld it to my muffler and my frame have like half an inch of clearance between the muffler and my driveshaft
>start my truck and it sounds fucking beautiful
>take it for a drive and the second I go above 3 grand it sounds like a ricer
>oh well I ain't taking it off now
Pic related is it now its held up all this time

Unless your pot is bolted under your car, it's not exactly the same.

>get in a wreck
>need transportation, no income
>everything in front of the alternator is destroyed
>icanfixthis.jpeg
>pull bumper cover, hood and quarter panels off
>dig out absolutely destroyed radiator, a/c condenser and fans
>drill out spot welds on caved in radiator support
>go to pick n pull
>do the same to a donor car except a little more careful this time
>come home with a bumper bar, radiator support, hood, headlights and no radiator, condenser or fans
>problem is, mine is manual, and thus had a smaller radiator due to not needing transmission cooler lines
>surprise surprise, only the autos get sent to scrapyards
>only manual I found (which is what I took the other parts from) had a massive hole in the radiator
>say “fuck it,” just get the big ass radiator and fans from an automatic, it still fits on 3/4 brackets on the radiator support
>don’t have money to weld that shit, so I just fucking bolt the support on from the drilled out spot welds
>put everything else back together normally, even manage to bend the corners of the banged-up quarter panels back into place
>secure fucked up old bumper cover to the front of the car with zip ties
Lil fucker still runs good. Burns oil like a motherfucker because I forgot to tighten an intake hose clamp somewhere in the process, but hopefully that can be amended if I ever do get around to rebuilding it.

This is what it looked like before

Friend got into an accident and needed his car working because he cant afford to make a claim on insurance and cant afford new car. Rolled up my sleeves and got to work

>get in car
>put key in ignition
>turn key
>exit driveway
>spend 1 hour in traffic
>buy oil
>spend another 30 minutes in traffic
>arrive at shop
>pay them for oil change, and supply them with oil
>wait an hour for oil change
>get in car
>spend another hour driving home
Vs
>go to store
>buy oil
>go home
>change oil

It works both ways

The thing was fucked up. The fan went into the radiator and some of the wiring was completely crushed. I made new wiring sections, got new radiator and fan. I drilled out the spot welded core support and bolted in a new one because i didnt know how to weld. I bought the rest of the cosmetic parts and pulled this out of my ass for

Y-you did a much better job than me...
>t. blue accent directly above

I put steel fastenings on my catback 2 piece without antiseize because I was too lazy.

I dunno what all the bullshit is about, only takes me all of 2 minutes to change my oil. Some people have half an hour to waste letting someone else do it while they wait there.

bad news retard, toyota A engines have the oil dipstick in the pump housing so you missed a whole lot of oil

>dumping oil in the woods

Oh come on now...

Duct taping the oil pan of my piece of shit Golf and continuing with my cruising.
Took the thing to be properly welded the next day.

>cant afford to make a claim on insurance
Go to your friendly garage, ask them to fix it and give them other guy's insurance details (or even just his reg number) to let them claim it themselves.
It costs you £0
Obviously doesn't work if you were at fault.

You are like little baby OP. Try JB welding a C A M B E A R I N G. Still driving it too.

I love how you beat the plate back into shape but only half-assedly.

I had the bolts snap off at an exhaust flange, so I used 3 pairs of locking pliers to clamp the flanges back together. By the time I made it to the exhaust shop (a month later lmao), only 1 had survived the trip.

If an oil change is actually that much of a hassle for you, don't work on cars. It's not your thing. Seriously unless you're old or disabled (or lazy) there's no reason why you can't get a car in the air and the oil drained in less than 5 minutes

I stripped the threads for one of my oil filter housing bolts, so I JB Welded a threaded rod in the hole and tightened a nut on it. Not the worst thing but a bit more nigger than tapping it or getting a time sert.

I've changed my suspension just fine since it was at least interesting oil change is a pita to do it once every few months.

I can't comment on the former otherwise than pointing to the obvious hole in the pump housing, but the latter is not true. As you can read here:
Not a single drop of oil was left to run out of the drain hole.

>pay 30 eur total for oil change if I dont bring my oil and filter

Id rather be 5 outta pocket than wash oily hands and fuck around with two jacks

>all these benchracers upset someone would rather pay someone else sub tenner to do a tedious, boring maintenance job

The "I have changed oil I am therefor a master mechanic" benchracers should get out.