Hello anons I have a long drive ahead of me from Portland Maine to Portland Oregon to deliver a set of very exclusive drillbits that are used to bore the starter hole in human skulls for brain cancwr treatments. Because of gamma ray irradiation possibilities that would change the isotope of the cobalt coating, and because of insurance reasons, an officer of the company must not yield custody of the highly prized bits, I must make the drive myself at the direction of the board of directors.
I have to minimize the time spent resting or sleeping because I get a bonus if I can make the drive in a shorter time than the last guy to do it.
I have the sleeping problem covered because I have enough Ritalin and nootropics to win the super bowl.
But I don’t have the peeing and pooing parts covers. Are there ay exercises I can do to build up my bladder stamina or size? And how do I keep from pooing? These are time wasters that I simply cannot afford.
no, its more /pol/, /r9k/, /fag/ and /whofuckingcares/ than it is Veeky Forums. Fuck off.
Thomas Rodriguez
Eat a shit ton of fiber 2 days before hand and have a big shit before you leave. Piss in bottles if you must and use them to get around slow drivers that are in your way. If you have ritalin then you won't get hungry.
Hudson Green
Vaguely, those basement dwellers know a thing or two about not getting out of a chair
Nicholas Diaz
Holy shit you’re triggered as fuck.
/pol/? Really? Fuck you nazi! I’m hand delivering life saving trepanation tools here you fucking loser.
>link to www.soyboyhobbies.cuck Opinion discarded. Those faggots are just looking for an excuse to pee while sitting....
Matthew Taylor
Haha, you sure got me :)
Kayden Clark
The thing about food passing through you is that it doesn't actually happen very quickly if you're just sitting all the time. Since that's exactly what you're going to be doing, you likely won't have to worry about having to go often. However, the smart thing to do is to go when it's convenient for you to do so because you're already at a bathroom. You do this with physical exercise, especially the kinds involving hip movements.
Jace Long
Ok can I slow it down further? Like real slow?
Jordan Jones
Be incredibly lethargic so your digestive processes slow down.
Take medicine used for treating loose stool, since loose stool passes through you quickly, hard stool will take time.
Consider using laxatives to evacuate your bowels before the trip, this will ensure there's more space for it to pile up while you're avoiding the bathroom.
Benjamin Collins
So like an enema before and then a shitload of opiates?
Wow. That’s like a day on the set for my GF
Oliver Perry
Just wear a diaper for poop, and build a PCV pipe drain and reservoir for pee.
A few years ago some NASA astronaut lady found out that her husband was cheating on her, and drove across the country in like half a day wearing a diaper so she wouldn't have to stop and could reach him with her rage levels at max.
Juan Williams
I have to change the diaper if I poop. I’m not a scat fetishist or an astronaut
I’ll also be in the boss’s rolls Royce can’t poo in the rolls. Ints not an Indian jag
Aaron Thomas
If you have to poop get gas. Even the cannon ball run people have to get gas. Drop a deuce and go
John Long
>I have to minimize the time spent resting or sleeping because I get a bonus if I can make the drive in a shorter time than the last guy to do it.
Incentives that almost kill you
The ameriggan way of life ;)
Jose Ortiz
Stay poor eurofag. Enjoy your 1 liter 3 cylinder shitbox while I shit my depends driving a rolls Royce across the continent.
Ryan Morales
Gotta shit? Stop and shit. What's another 10 minutes? You should've left earlier, dummy.
Juan Robinson
I can’t leave until 6 am on Monday morning. The drill bits need to be sanitized and inspected and sealed by a state approved medical inspectors rom MIT first.
10 minUte stops add up. Someone’s life is in my hands.
Nathaniel Foster
Hi there!
You seem to have made a bit of a mistake in your post. Luckily, the users of Veeky Forums are always willing to help you clear this problem right up! You appear to have used a tripcode when posting, but your identity has nothing at all to do with the conversation! Whoops! You should always remember to stop using your tripcode when the thread it was used for is gone, unless another one is started! Posting with a tripcode when it isn't necessary is poor form. You should always try to post anonymously, unless your identity is absolutely vital to the post that you're making!
Now, there's no need to thank me - I'm just doing my bit to help you get used to the anonymous image-board culture!
Brayden Powell
...
Adam Russell
>/r9k/ >not /tfg/
It's like there's not even an entire subset of people who do stuff like this for a living in an 18-wheeler
t. truckerfag
Julian Gomez
No you don't, fat fuck. Use your reserves.
Isaiah Gonzalez
hose that goes up your pee pee hole to let the wee drain into a tinkly bag
Zachary Perry
>trucks arent safe enough instead we will use sleep deprived retards if those drillbits are so important why they don't use a relay system instead
Jackson Collins
You simply hold in your shit and utilize piss bottles. It's really not that hard.
Cameron White
I’m appointed custody by the board of directors.
Only one person at a time may be appointed custody
Gavin Morales
While most classic British automobiles contain reserve petrol tanks, contemporary rolls Royce do not...
Carson Campbell
You never heard of adult diapers? I used to use them when I delivered and there were big bonuses involved.
Gabriel Jackson
fucking hell this thread is awful
Easton Gonzalez
How about kill yourself because you are letting your storage have no purpose. You piss and shit when there is too much in your body already.
Carter Rivera
I can’t sit in poo all day dummy
Good way to catch a UTI too btw
Mason Sanders
I could bench more than you skinnyfat faggot
Ian Thomas
start dieting on nothing but smoothies to get rid off all the solids in your system you want food that will mostly be absorbed and not passed over aka no fiber and no fatty stuff and lower in protein.
You plan on using caffeine but you are bieng dumb because that powers up your digestive system and lowers your ability to hold water.
you need to purge out caffeine from your system and get off it before your trip syou feel awake naturally without it.
replace it with simple sugars like candies that are pure sugar, such as trollis to give you an energy boost.
bladder is irrelevant because you can just piss everytime you stop for gas. Wont be an issue.
Aiden Bennett
>delivered
delivered WHAT?
Nathan Brooks
>Because of gamma ray irradiation possibilities that would change the isotope of the cobalt coating, False. Neutron irradiation would transmute the cobalt-59 into nickel-60 which is radioactive. Gamma rays won't do anything.
Jonathan Sullivan
>10 minUte stops add up. Someone’s life is in my hands. If that's the case, they would be flown privately.
Nathan Peterson
>Neutron irradiation would transmute the cobalt-59 into nickel-60 which is radioactive cobalt 59 + n = cobalt 60
t. nuke
Grayson Hughes
Co-60 decays via beta minus to Ni-60 which emits the classic 1.17 and 1.33 MeV gammas.
Ethan Martinez
Yeah that would be bad for trepanation duties. Hence why I can’t fly with it....
Brody Sanchez
huh. i guess i forgot the rest of that equation since a/power school.
Ryder Davis
Fucking military is a welfare agency
Jonathan Hall
Then bring someone in the car that can appoint a new driver
Sebastian Morris
Why don't you just fly? >Inb4 cosmic rays are transmuting your cobalt Cosmics are bombarding your cobalts right this very moment, so that's not an excuse.
