Hey Veeky Forums, redpill me on government surplus humvees. I'm going to look for a titled slant-back version

Hey Veeky Forums, redpill me on government surplus humvees. I'm going to look for a titled slant-back version.

How much should I expect to pay, which years should I consider, which model, and just generally what am I in for?

...

a piece of shit that has been thrashed and trashed repeatedly and put back together by cunts who couldn't give two fucks about it.

i dont think those are road legal..
thats why you dont see them..

also, i dont think insurance companies insure the drivers cause i dont think they have airbags..

which is why they arent road legal come to think of it.

>old military vehicle
>beaten to hell and back
>insanely shitty mileage
>fucking portal axles

Why the fuck would you want one, apart from stolen valor and/or posing?

They run on used motor oil or just about anything that is combustable

Actually they are street legal. It's difficult to get one titled though, so I'd buy one with an existing title. The insurance is also very cheap on them since they are considered to be older vehicles.

Because America.

Aren't you thinking about the tank with the turbine engine? As far as I know the HMMWV has a pretty standard big volume turbodiesel engine.

Also, implying you're ever gonna fill it with anything other than diesel anyway.

Some user use to post here as a mechanic for the army. When I asked why they're constantly pulling at least one in a convoy on the highway he responded negatively.

About 100 hours of runtime and they were in the shop and out of commission.

Most of the problems he discussed were catastrophic due to operator error. Excessive temperatures, no mechanical understanding of differentials, no concern for damages..

I live near Camp Grayling, which is the main training facility for the US National guard.

Our service lanes, or as the national guard calls it, the tank trails, are usually bombarded with military equipment stuck in the trails - or broken. Instead of actually planning an attack for an off-road maneuver, they just go apeshit at every obstacle, because MILITARY VEHICLE HURRR.

Wouldn't purchase one myself, OP. Not a chance. I've seen highschool kids treat 4x4s better than most retards in the national guard.

To give you an idea of how smart these individuals are
>Be me, out wheeling with buddies
>Trail does a hairpin up ahead, all sand
>Thick brush creates a blind corner
>Doing 40-45mph, not even messing around at this point as I'm cruising down the service lane
>Approached the corner and the national guard thought that corner would be a great place to do bag checks or some shit
>Spread out all over the bend they had bags opened up and gear laid out on the ground
>Panicked and took the berm as they were literally spread out on a blind corner
>I could hear their cracking voices shouting "fucking civvy" as I continued down the road
>Grabbed the radio and warned my buddies

OP here.

I wouldn't run it on anything other than diesel, and I doubt it would tolerate anything else. I'll be doing a duramax engine swap btw.

le redpill me

Damn civvy. I killed 5 child gooks and 17 elder gooks in Nam for you. Burnt them last gooks to a crisp with my trusty M2. Show some respect for your better halves.

It would make a fun toy is you lived on 100 acres of land and had a bunch of trails. I wouldn't go dolling it up and turning it into a DD. Make sure you can even get parts for it.

I'd use it as a DD when I'm not driving my other more expensive summer car. I'd probably drive it every day in the winter.

>Military surplus vehicles
Beat to shit and put back together by kids.

So they're identical to your typical lifted and abused pickup truck?

Not quite.

Military grade has a different meaning than your typical 4x4.

Yeah, and I wouldn't buy a used one of those either.

as long as you're prepared to rebuild and/or swap the entire drivetrain except the wheels and axles you may as well buy one with a fucked engine/trans.

other than that they are pretty bombproof, but they are not idiot proof, which is why they don't last long in service.

Loud as fuck
Broken/shitty diffs
Transfer case filled with tar
Loud as fuck
Doors will sometimes open on their own
Parts fall off
Did I mention this thing is loud?

>Stolen valor police

I don't care what welfare queens think larping is fun.

>"He bought his brass buttons and colored fabric on eBay and didn't EARN them like a real man reeeeeeeeee"

Try tracking down the "Wheeler Dealers" episode where Edd China gets one running. Its episode 133 or Series 13 Episode 14

>
oh i forgot to mention you're gonna have to helicoil a lot of the accessory mounting holes because they get wallowed as fuck by shit mechanics under/over-torquing everything

this
consider hidden maintenance costs and reconsider user

I plan on getting a flatbed and make it a sprayer rig or use it on the farm as a pasture romper

Get an actual diesel truck and not a destroyed used up military surplus pile of ass

Ed China isn't on Wheeler Dealers any more.
I want to die.

/k/ here

Its cool. I get that. Arnold got that. It looks bad ass. It can scale 3 vertical walls.

But
>fuel economy is shit
>servicing them was pretty shit when they were new
>the parts market is pretty expensive, you pretty much need to buy two and cannibalize one
>they are too wide to do proper offroad with
>they were never really designed for proper offroad, they were meant for crossing wide open expanses that were serviced and groomed by engineering divisions
>they were considered pretty shit by those who actually used them and were beaten to shit by such individuals
>you are overpaying for shit that was beat to hell and was generally shit to start with

Unless this is an absolute must for you, get literally anything else up to and including the 3k civic

>Military grade has a different meaning than your typical 4x4.
yeah cheapest option and designed to be stupid resistant

Have you ever done a motor pool Monday? Have you ever Seen how quickly they break down? Do you own a Kevlar helmet, IOTV, and ceramic plates? Do you hate your sense of hearing? If you answered yes to any/ all of these, a surplus Humvee may be right for you

Those where also sold as commercial vehicles back in a day. They where not restricted only to military use.

>stolen valor

how much would a 2007 humvee go for with 1100 miles on it?

A shitty 4x4 pickup would work just as well.

Just fling away the style side bed. Build a wooden frame and bolt the sprayer too it. Heck that helps use up those pallets you got lying around that you are too lazy to toss.

Just make a catch pan for the spillage so the nitrogen doesn't reduce your frame into crumbles in 2 seasons.

They're fucking huge and barely fit in a normal lane. You won't be able to park it anywhere and navigating some entrances/exits will be an unmitigated nightmare.

It's annoying as all fuck to get plates for one.

They're slow. No, seriously, they're slow as fuck, slower than you likely imagine. They are geared super low. You're better off trying to merge into traffic on a lawn mower.

Ergonomics don't exist.

The heater sucks ass unless it's high summer.

govplanet(dot)com

I get it. They look cool and work for some off roading. But the veteran anons are the best advisors......

Unless you are committed to it, this thing will be a nightmare. I used to talk some to a shop owner who specialized in HMMWV's...he constantly complained about all the mediocre parts that AM General used.....he said everything not AM General were GM parts....oldsmobile, chevy, buick, pontiac stuff...yep the HMMWV is that old that it had some pontiac stuff in it... His lot was always filled with them from all over the south. Really those were all H2's and some ex mil....always had massive tires, racks, bumpers, & cages on them.....they had to be toys showing how rich the owners were because other wise Why?

You won't survive IED attacks

>Loud as fuck

This.

Anyone who has never ridden in a HUMVEE really can't appreciate how annoyingly loud they are inside. And they sound like they have straight cut gears, it's fucking horrendous.

own 5 street legal hmmwvs ama, except for how they got titled

best post in thread desu.