Who was the worst Roman emperor? Not in the sense of who damaged the empire the most...

>You will never get to make it with a cutey nympho femboy who is also the most powerful man in the world
Why even live?

>tfw not gay

haha what a prankster

lmao btfo by fish scales XD

Tiberius ruined everything.
>Killed Germanicus who was loyal and just wanted to fuck the Germans
>Was such a pussy and bitch he let Sejanus basically take over everything
>Probably raped Caligula

Reminder that this is the very Cæsar that Jesus endorsed.

Honorius wasn't really a cunt but he was almost impressively stupid. Same with Phocas.

>feminine penis isn't gay
>traps aren't gay
>it's only gay if balls touch
Take your pick if you need an excuse. You know you want it.

Constantine

>tfw you will never, EVER be a femboy-emperor's personal lover
I just want to fucking die

Phocas for damage caused if we're counting ERE

>life sucks
>everything around me is falling apart and I can't do anything about it
>everyone around me is a conspiratorial cunt
>but the pigeons will always be there for you
Honorius did nothing wrong, he was merely the first NEET emperor

as far as the romans were concerned it was only gay if you were on the receiving end, fucking another dude in the ass was 100% straight

Caligula is objectively the worst. He was so bad that his own bodyguard killed him and this was before the Praetorians became a backstabbing political faction

Caracalla's brutal sacking of Alexandria because some Alexandrians had put on a satirical play about him was pretty damn unforgivable.

actually pretty funny when you think about it: "haha look at this faggot with my cock in his ass."

I wouldn't scoff, they had a different perception of reality like we all do.

those cunts had it coming

funny as all fuck

theres simply so many to choose from... Caligula?

domination ain't gay.

being a submissive cock-warmer is gay.

There are a lot of horrible emperors. Most of them get a reprieve because Rome was the sole super power. But once the German migration goes full swing, and Persia becomes a power again under the Sassinids, you truly see who are the worst Emperors. In order:

- Severus Alexander
- Honorius
- Valentinian III
- Phocas
- Justin II
- Justinian II

Are you referring to his decision to attempt to outlast the Goths' seige of Rome instead of trying to break it?

What would you have done in his place?

How the fuck is Theodosius a bad emperor? The only bad things he did was die too young and not get rid of Arbogast sooner

Eliagabulus or Caligula

But that's only about sex, having romantic relationships with other men was still a big no no

Elagabalus would have required you to lay with him in his bedchamber and call him hubby when he wakes up and always present yourself as his husband, you know pretty fucking gay

>lay with him in his bedchamber and call him hubby when he wakes up and always present yourself as his husband

Cute and kinda hot

Caracalla.
He even squandered a chance at a absorbing the Persian empire through marriage

Are you talking about the whole red wedding thing?
Is there any concrete fact to back that shit up, didn't he want to marry the persian princess to be like his idol Alexander the Great?
What the fuck would be the use of doing something so retarded, I'm gonna go with Cassius Dio on this one and say Artabanus simply refused making him the douchebag in this situation since his empire collapsed anyways a few years later and got replaced by the sassanids

All in all, that's an almost rational response to a really fucking weird situation.

>Hey Empster, this guy insists on talking to you.
>Fuck, fine. What do you want, guy?
>Great Emperor! I brought you this fish!
>...Fucking why?
>I believe it is destiny, your Emperorness!
>I don't want your fish. Please leave.
>Most Imperial Emperor, take it! It must be so!
>Son of a... you know what? Fine, you weird fuck. But this fish is pretty dirty. Guard! Scrub this fish clean. On Fish Boy's face.

Septimus Severus.

If only indirectly because he's responsible for Caracalla, Elagabalus, Julia Maesa and the whole clusterfuck that leads into the third century.

Adrianople was not his fault. Also, his handling of the Persians and of the East in general was good until Adrianople.

>The only good think about Valens is that he reminds me of my favorite band.
...Fine, I'll bite. What is (You)r favorite band?

youtube.com/watch?v=xx86CxKYtg0
>until Adrianople
Adrianople, aka the place where the Roman army had its entire leadership annihilated. The place where the fate of the empire was sealed. The place where the FUCKING emperor was lost in battle.

And all the other pretenders would have been better?
At least he held things together properly for 18 years until his son fucked things up
If anything it was Marcus Aurelius' fault for not raising his shit son properly and not following his predecesors and appointing the best man for the job

>Nero
What did Nero do wrong?
A lot of shit he did was made up by the higher ups since they didn't like him.

As far as I can tell, he's just a neckbeard with mommy issues who hated Christians and loves traps.

>little faggots learned his lesson guys let him go. Thanks for the fish m8
>he mumbles something under his breathe as you turn to leave
>ask him to speak up
>cheeky cunt says "at least I didn't bring the crab"

It's true that Tiberius was a huge cunt in private, but he ran the Empire with good administration.

>Marcus Aurelius' fault for not raising his shit son properly

True.

I actually think Severus was a pretty good ruler all things considered but he genuinely is the start of probably the shittiest time to be a roman from the 2nd punic war to the fall of the west.

Commodus is the clear answer. He was a total bitch he couldnt take being second in anything.

Caracalla was the biggest cunt to ever rule the empire. There were worse emperors, but most of them had a screw loose. Caracalla was just an asshole.

Commodus is the worst. Caracalla is a close second. Then Caligula, Nero, and Honorius.

Caligula

>Augustus

kys my man

All those shitty emperors

It wasn't his fault directly, in that the person in charge of moving the Germans was an asshole and created the entire conflict. Had anyone been in there, those Germans would have been Roman citizens

Try as best as you can, some shits will be shits. As for picking a successor, Aurelius was the only one who had a son. In those days, you couldn't not pick your son. He had 2 choices: kill Commodes or pray he would mature

>Severus Alexander
>Worst

He was a kid with solid administration but little military experience. How is he the worst emperor ever?

He was decent

This entire thread is about which emperor was a huge cunt.

Fuckin Nero

Fuck that guy

The empire never recovered after that. Even if he wasn't a bumbling fool, or was under his watch that the weight of the empire collapsed

When the offered to leave if he'd just let them live on and guard the Rhineland, he should have taken the offer. It was a gift from god and he said no for no reason, and so Rome got sacked. Honorius must have been incredibly stupid for that to have happened.

>>The man says he's thankful he didn't bring the crab
>>Tiberius orders his men to get the crab

>and not following his predecesors and appointing the best man for the job
All of those guys had no choice but to select a successor, they didn't have kids. I doubt they would have handed things off to one another as they did if any of them had sons.

Aurelius really did fuck up with his son though, no idea how he managed to raise such a lunatic.

He still fucked up by starting the battle when he did instead of waiting for the Western Roman army to join his. You can blame his scouts for missing the Gothic cavalry, but he still should have waited.

Dude was made emperor as a child, it's a bit much to expect him to have the charisma to get everyone to accept his rule. He did well when he was in charge. In any event, this thread is about people who were cunts.

>Augustus
Hang yourself

That sounds like an SNL skit