What are your best cop/ticket stories?

Fucking piece of shit. "Medical" card or not that's driving under the influence. There seems to be an influx of people driving under the influence of dudeweedlmao and prescription meds that seriously think they're not doing anything wrong or endangering anyone.

>these innocent, wholesome stories while evading, have drugs, etc.

white people got it made

Nope, gentlemen have it made.
Don't wear a drug rug and reek of weed and you'll be fine. A polo and slacks will do wonders for you my friend.

I'm gonna get a lot of flack for this but that doesn't always work. I know 99% of the problem is my peers but it's not always as easy as just "being respectable".

>get new kar
>gorillian horse powa Vsex
>foks are away
>finish work late
>time for a cruse
>go into town
>remember i hate town
>head home
>get on motorway
>wingan overtakearoo
>city put up a new speed camera
>completely oblivious.gif
>weeks later i get a ticket for 13 over ($130)
>could have easily been 40-80 over
>no demerit points because camera
>mfw

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B A I T
A
I
T

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>Be cop
>Drive like shit
>Pull people over for driving like shit
>Hate going to court so I'll find any reason not to ticket you, but still required to pull over 3 cars a day
>Have become known as the Warning King of the department
>Only ticket idiots that clearly did something wrong, then claim they dindu nuffin (when I have their violation clear as day on my bodycam)
>If you admit fault and at least pretend you won't do it again, warning for "educational purposes." If you try to be slick and "not admit guilt," ticket.
>Unless you're black, then it's always a ticket
>Jk, but no tickets for other cops, firefighters, or medical personnel (most will include military and not medical peeps, but my background is in medical and I understand they deal with crazy shit too) or people with blue line stickers, especially fallen officer memorial plates
>Have gone 130mph on the freeway just because I was already 5 hours overtime on a late DUI investigation and just wanted to go home and sleep
>Got in trouble, found out dispatch can see where we are and how fast we're going on their screens through GPS
>Pull people over for boxing me in, then just drive away to whatever call I'm going to
>Look back at them wondering wtf to do
>See mean things said about cops on Veeky Forums, now ticket any suspected "car enthusiast" I can find

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who the fuck speaks like this?

kek

around senior year high school me and friends are driving around getting drunk on Jim Beam. Cop pulls u turn to get on our ass, it's like 1030pm on a tuesday in the suburbs. I drive a few blocks and turn left at a stop sign. The cop hesitates at the stop. I take an immediate right onto some residential street and pull into the first driveway, turn the car off and tell my friends to get down. Sure as shit you saw the cops lights make the turn, and hear the tires creeping by slow as fuck, it was fall and there were leaves on the ground cracking and popping. scariest shit ever and it felt like it lasted an eternity. didn't technically get pulled over but I'm CERTAIN I would have been pulled over had I not made that gutsy call. it was that kind of upper middle class suburb and one of the guys in the back seat was black

>party's over
>shit faced
>fleet of cars leaving at 3am
>my 5.3 beasts wants to rumble
>gun it and pass everyone hit a top speed of about 120mph
>sheriff lights out of fucking no where
>pull into first house I can
>it's a adorable cop and her beaner partner
>my bro ham tells him something in Spanish while she is out running my plates
>mfw got away

In high school, I slid into a curb in the snow and wrecked my mom's Nissan Altima. This was in the 90's so I walked to a payphone to call home. When I got back to the car there was a cop there. I had a friend with me, he let us sit in the car while we waited on the tow truck. He was like, "so, what kinda music you guys listen to? you listen to the X?" and put it on the alternative rock station, turned it up and i swear to god did some heavy crown vic donuts in the snow for 45 seconds. coolest cop ever, everyone involved was a white male

>4 year expired plates on motorcycle
>coming home from work at 2am
>speedo light is out no idea my speed, but definitely too fast
>see cop on service road
>fug
>skip exit hope he doesn’t notice
>no mirrors so I have to look behind me
>bright headlights behind me
>siren and lights
>pull over
>give license
>get warning
I got pulled over 3 times that weekend, but since it’s a small town in the middle of nowhere I just kept getting warnings from the sheriff deputies
>mfw big city cop wanted to impound my bike

D E V I L I S H

>be mexican
>Driving classic beaner mobile
>california plates
>Driving out of cali through arizona at 2 am
you can figure out the rest

>Tokyo Dorifto off a telephone pole into a ditch
>Car is shrekt
>-5 degrees out
>Spend a half an hour running around freezing my ass off looking for a ride back to town
>Eventually get back to town and call a tow truck
>Ride back to crash site
>Tow truck has to stay there for a few hours while a better one comes out
>Bolis show up to a call about an abandoned car in a ditch
>Know one of them
>Get a ride back to town
5/5 breddy gud

>Drunk driving
kys urselves yourself my men

typical

>Be savage
>Barely qualified to operate stone age hand tools, let alone a complex modern machine
>Wonder why I keep getting pulled over

pull me over pig and you'll get double tapped

>Risking your life or life in prison over a hundred dollarydoo ticket

Nigger logic.

As a kid I used to buy radar detectors and stupid shit and looking back I'm 100% sure that got me tickets instead of warnings for rolling stops signs and going 5 to 10 over.

Now I just immediately pull over, put it in park, shut off the car, roll down the windows and turn on the interior lights with my hands on steering wheel. Always a warning.

Kill you are self

I've never gotten a speeding ticket. Not once in my life. I always speed and always get off with a warning or a less severe ticket for something else like a mechanical thing I can easily fix and dispute. My latest was 11:30 at night, I passed a cop going 95 WOT at the top of 4th gear, only realizing after I saw him brake that he actually was a cop. He pulled me over and gave me a ticket for my nonexistent inspection sticker instead. This car has never been inspected since I registered it. I could probably find a shady mechanic who would pass it with the severe structural rust, but I just don't care because I see cops so rarely and they apparently never notice my windshield lacking a sticker.

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>drives a car with structural rust
>always speeds
kill yourself i'm dead serious

That's the idea.

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>driving under the influence
kill yaself

>cars
>complex
Maybe if you’re a woman

>racing/messing around with a modded g63 (matte black with brabus bodykit).
>g63 instigated it all, both of us just having fun
>driving through paradise valley, very wealthy area
>cross double yellow to pass a car and cop sees me do it, pulls me over
>g63 stops too :/
>cop goes and talks to the g63 driver first
>cop comes up to me and apologizes saying he misunderstood the situation and to enjoy my day
>he walked away immediately before I could say anything

I'm guessing someone important was in the g63

>got pulled over for doing 50 in a 25
>everybody does 40
>speedo read a max of 43
>get warning

yesterday, headed home from work at 6AM
>turn onto main street in neighborhood
>speed limit 45
>enjoy making loud noises, nobody out on roads
>mash gas as I finish my turn, get up to 65 (eventually)
>coast at 65 for a couple seconds
>see headlights oncoming
>see lights on top
>let off gas
>cop makes a right turn into neighborhood he was about to pass
>shit
>coast on down to 45
>hope he didn't catch me with radar
>make it home without seeing him again
>drove 45 on my way home from work today just in case he was waiting for me to do it again

Just not cotton and paper. They degrade over 5 gorillion years.

>be me, 19 420 blaz cunnnnt
>just got a q with some mates
>doing 80 in a 60
>cops coming the other way wup wup
>not yet high but fugg it’s in the glove box
>”do you know how fast you were going?”
>just want to get out of there
>”yep, was doing 80”
>”do you want to check the radar?”
>”nah, I was doing the wrong thing, I’ll cop the ticket”
Meanwhile
>mates are smoking durries, one spits gum out the window
>angry lady cop partner chewing them out for littering

Got a $300 ticket, 2 demerit points, 6 month probation but they didn’t search the car, yay

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>Centralization politics start happening in the 90s due Soviet finally kicking the bucket(not really)
>Get licensce in the 2010s
>Go home for vacation
>No speed controls, and somewhat straight roads, so easy to go 130-150 on what is marked as 80km/h
>Area alongside road is regularly logged, so there is a decent amount of sight in summer time
>Haven't even gotten a ticket over busted driving light(waited 2 months to bother to change fuse)
if in doubt, this isn't a story, this is just greentext

>Be Caveman
>Go to thing everyday for rubbles
>Use rubbles to buy big machine
>Big machine powered by tiny explosions caused by liquefied dead dinosaurs
>Always smush foot when using it
>Go too fast for the commune
>Get taken to side by Blue Man
>Get piece of paper with hieroglyphics on it
>Use it to wipe after taking dump

6 month probation?

When was this? You sure it was a fleetwood and not a caprice or something, cause I don't recall Cadillacs ever being used as cabs

Probationary driving, I was on my ps so no driving between 11pm-5am and another infraction would mean driving disqualification

>be actually blazed
>hotboxed car the night before at a party and had a cone that morning
>doing 150 in a 100km
>slowly brake as I go down a hill
>see cops in the distance coming for me as i get to the bottom of the hill
>panic.jpg
>bong in the backseat under some clothes
>just over a q in the car
>high as a kite
>lose licence on the spot starting in 28 days for speeding
>drive 3 hours home 5ks under the limit
>could still smell the weed in my car 3 hours after i got pulled over
Im really lucky. I have priors, i would have gotten absolutely fucked. I was actually 4kms below having my car impounded because Australia.

Inb4 youre a dickhead. I know im a dickhead. I learned a lot that day.
But driving cooked is literally not even bad if you're not a fuckwit and regularly smoke.

Oh wow, I had no idea that existed!
I hope thats not still a thing. One year left on my P plates.

So you went from a warning for some minor misdemeanor to resisting arrest. Way to go, champ, you're a real winner.

It probably is, if not stricter, this was 9 years ago. Just don’t hoon and be careful, then you get 12 points when you’re on your opens. If you get disqualified from driving you’ll be one year + period of suspension from your opens. Had a mate on his ps for five years cause he kept getting disqualified.

phew thats nuts.
Friend is on his second suspension for his motorbike, P plates for life at this point.

Lmao, fella should sell it can get a moped and wait for his opens, p plates on a bike are a cop magnet

I think he is just unlucky, I have a RC390 with loud underseat twin exhaust, no cat, fully tuned and to top it all off I rode like a dickhead everyday of my P plates. Not a single fine or stop other than RBT.

10 days off my P's and it has a low oil pressure warning, hopefully just failed sensor.

I was a dick back then

>be me 19 with 2 other m8s
>late night
>smoked 2 joints 30 mins ago
>park on an bridge, sign tells me itsa no car zone
>sit in my car, friend rolling another one, weed everywhere
Also the other lad was smoking for the first time
>see blue xenon lights, look for plates
>FUCKFUCKFUCK
>throw that shit out
>high as balls, other friend fell unconcious
>they let them both go and I take me to their station
>made a quick test, refused everything else
>negative
>drove me back to my car

Looked in the mirror my eyes where still fucking red
Also they found 2g of weed but didn‘t hear from them ever again

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Drug rug?

My dad was a cop in the 80's and 90's and he and all his coworkers acted exactly like this. He tells me there's no way in hell they could get away with this stuff now.

>19 years old
>riding motorcycle to college, just started first semester
>college is right next to an elementary school
>college is also in The Poor County so they do all kinds of underhanded shit to drive revenue
>there is a minuscule 100 foot stretch that's still technically in the school zone you need to ride through to get to the college
>I didn't know this
>the pigs did
>they set up speed traps for the first two months of the fall semester at that corner every year
>to protect and serve

>speed limit is 20
>person in front of me going slow as fuck
>overtake
>cherries and berries
>"you were going 26 miles an hour in a 20, you do know this is a school zone right? You could've hit a child."
>get hit with a $350 fine, speeding tickets were doubled because of the school zone
>didn't have registration because I have a work backpack and school backpack, reg was in the work backpack
>I guess he saw it was my first ticket and I was polite because he didn't get me for the registration and he un-doubled the fine

>chose to pay fine and take traffic school so I wouldn't get points for such a retarded ticket
>use automated kiosk at courthouse
>didn't let me even elect to take traffic school
>have to file an appeal with the judge
>takes another few weeks
>finally get confirmation of the appeal, take traffic school, think all is gucci

>two months later get a letter that my license has been suspended for failing to complete traffic school
>yoku nani the fuck
>traffic school never sent my record of completion
>had to spend another $50 to get my license re-instated

the real kicker is the ticket was in a different county, so every time I had to go to the courthouse, I had to ride to the far north of the next county over from the far south of my county, roughly 35 miles one way to get there.

I fucking hate the police

>everyone was white
My man