ITT: Stories of outrunning other cars in the worst cars left on the road.
>Driving to brother's land in desert >Cruising along in my 1984 Mercury Grand Marquis >See FedEx truck pull up in next lane >Eyeing my ride like he wants a piece of me >Must see my Fuel Injection Badge >Pleb is unaware the car is actually breathing through a Motorcraft 2150 2 barrel carburetor, the Ferrari of carburetors! >Drop the hammer >302 cubic inches of angry American V8 tells him its on! >Literally hit 80 miles per hour! >FedEx truck gives up, pulls in behind me >Shift into overdrive and get upwards of 12 MPG.
>Literally hit 80 miles per hour! >shift into overdrive and get upwards of 12 mpg had one of these barges these hit home hard
Bentley Campbell
Did you get a real Mercury? Or did you cheap out and get an LTD/Victoria?
Cameron Rodriguez
Yeah it was an 86 SFI 302 wagon. Wood panels and everything and only 33k miles. 0-60 in two days. surprised if it could even get up to 80
Oliver Ortiz
Ah, you see, there is the problem. You bought one with low miles and the original fuel injection system. That's what a commie does. The guy who sold me mine? He said it had over 600,000 miles on the clock. Who am I to call him a liar? Also, the guy who gave him the car replaced the SFI with a carb. I paid a whole ONE HUNDRED bucks for mine. Bet you only paid 25 bucks for that wagon of yours.
Christopher Lee
I wish it were only 25. Cali smog laws wouldn't allow for a carb swap. good times in that wagon but glad its gone
Leo Cruz
Ah, I live in New Mexico. Unless you live in Abq, you have no reason to maintain your emissions equipment. Did your wagon have those beautiful gauges with the timex indiglo backlight?
>last year >in my 85 olds delta 88 >driving late at night >at stoplight, 1st gen mercury mountaineer pulls up next to me >just fucking know this guy is going to gap me >light goes green, i floor it >he does to >passes me and cuts in front of me >mfw my car is slower than a fucking beat to shit SUV
No, you aren't getting it. You have to overhype your least impressive successes! For example:
>Be mom >Own a baby >Walking Baby to store to buy some milk >Some fucking wannabe in a Volvo eyeing my stroller >Wants a piece of me >Leave him in the dust >Probably went home to cry tears into his Swedish trash-wagon >Bought fucking 2% because my baby doesn't need that fat.
Chase Davis
>be crying into my Volvo tank about being humiliated by a soccer mom >some old hag in an Acura MDX drives by >ENOUGH.jpg >start following her >stare in disgust at her dog-related bumper stickers >drop to second gear and roar up behind the hag >blaze past her at terrifyingly fast 35mph >engine screaming like a banshee >basically a MidNight member now >old hag looks confused and frightened as my brick out of hell smokes the fuck out of her >didn't even have one simple mod >honor restored >didn't even spend half a tank of gas doing it
>driving home late at night >go to pass a slowfag >he speeds up to prevent me passing >fucking floor it to put him in his place >my engine sputters and goes into limp home mode >still have enough power to pass him and pull away into the night >check my shit the next day >2 spark plugs coated in oil
>wb kingswood ute with poverty 202 straight 6 and 4speed >hit the front of traffic lights >cunt in red Maloo next to me starts revving up >honour prevents me from declining challange >launch hard but not hard enough >Maloo flyspray past >motorbike cop waiting one car back at intersection pulls him up immediately >fly past him at 90km/h Pic related. Cute green tree frog I found on my vr ute last week
>on my way home from hs >in my highschoolmobile hand me down 2000 Jeep WJ Grand Cherokee >lovingly known as the Big Fat Bitch >did I say lovingly? >I meant hatefully >anyways >stop at red light >bud pulls up next to me in his 80's Chrysler Cordoba >eyes meet >now we must battle >drop it into 1 and watch the lights >cross traffic stops >my light is beginning to smoke from the sheer energy of my intense focus >green >in an instant I push the pedal to the floor and release all one hundred and ehhty horses >the sheer torque of our two majestic machines rocketing off the line permanently alters the earth's rotation >the strained roar of our engines cuts through the air like a thunderous wet fart >I got the holeshot, I'm ahead by a nose >my 4 liter inline 6 is screaming towards its 5k rpm redline >the car has never been pushed this hard before >alarms are beeping >overhead display is flashing nonsensical gibberish >slip the shifter into 2 like my cock into your mom >the Cordoba begins to pull ahead >with a great bucking and shuddering, the transmission shifts into one of its two second gears >no really, the auto transmissions used in some WJ's have two second gears >look it up >now I'm gaining back ground >closer and closer we come >we get nose to nose and I keep going >his nose is about even with my B pillar when the light ahead turns red and we have to let off >I raise a fist out of my window and into the air, basking in my glorious victory >we pull alongisde eachother at the light >I give him the smuggest of looks >he LITERALLY figuratively dies from pure shame right there and then
I don't think I'll ever do something that crazy again, I mean we almost broke the speed limit.
Kayden Jackson
Ah shit man! You beat a Cordoba? Those things could have had V8's AND Corinthian leather! Shit, that's pretty hardcore.
Benjamin James
M8, it had a V8, Corinthian leather, AND shag carpets. It was a fucking monster.
David Lopez
Jesus Christ on a cracker! and you weren't even scared?
Joseph Foster
>in my 94 Ram 2500 >2 doors, long bed, 5.9L V8, and the coveted rwd only + SLT trim >grandpa’s greatest gift to me after he passes >even has Chrysler’s trademark chipping 90’s paint >an absolutely legendary bone stock 04 Honda Civic pulls up to me next to the only stoplight in shitsville college town USA >even complete with a broke in engine (180k miles) and 4 fatass friends of mine on the way home from (Mormon) church >the Lord is on my side this sabbath day >I put my brake to the floor and rev the engine, letting the torque converter warm up a bit >at the green light we both launch forward, my 2k RPM gas dump gives me the power to edge the nose past the Civic >I admiring my 5k redline after I pass and look up to see a police truck parked outside my local Maverick gas station >going 37 in a 35 >Yosemite Sam “Back Off!” Mudflaps shaking in the breeze >didn’t get pulled over >beat a God machine Civic on it’s pilgrimage from the Lord’s house >I’m a proud country boy now!
>have pic >15 dollar a peice used tires >no brakes >just redid cooling system >found a police siren >friend in 80s gmc sierra has idea >i chase him through the countryside >thinks he can loose me >holding onto his bumper for atleast 4 miles doing 85 Shits fuckin fuck
