/twg/ - Total War General

Vampires?

Judging by the comments on every total war community site, so is every other game in the total war series

or just stick to historical titles instead of pandering to autistic fedora tipping freaks

>NAGASH WAS SLOW

Holy fuck there's so much drama going on right now. TB is worse then Darren.

Well, I think that last battle removes any validity to the claim that TB is bad at the game. Holy shit, what a comeback.

fast (for a vampire)

meh, not a big fan of bland wars based on cousin-incest

>what does this ed have to do with TW
ww1 is one of the most recquested total wars after china, also the inexcusable link between the French and Russian Revolutions, with Stalin as the Napoleon of his time
Being intolerant of others opinions is one of the traits is autism

Darren was actually good at the game, though.
>good cinematic camera work with basic strategy

yeah his name belongs in the same breath as Napoleon, Caesar and Alexander

Not a Warhammer fan then, ay

Warhammer is directly ripped off from medieval Europe and Tolkien

>mfw posted in the old thread

fantasy grounded in reality is the basis for good fantasy

finally someone posts the unedited version

What drama

We must go abstract.

>ww1 is one of the most recquested total wars after china
not true, stupid concept and tangential relation

>also the inexcusable link between the French and Russian Revolutions, with Stalin as the Napoleon of his time
unrelated to TW
you've made the past 4 OPs after sperging out about people not using your ed 5 threads ago, chill out fám

I'm sure there was an easier way to make this edit.
I'm going to leave this exploitable because i don't know what to put as text so go wild.

I use SAI and just use a basic brush set to Fuzzytastic. And in terms of pen sensitivity i can't help you, i don't draw with tablet/pen.

totalbiscuit drones are whiteknighting for him on the totalwar subreddit, since all the people who have actually played the game are expressing the fact that they thought his stream was shit

D A W I

>1d still says Reikland is Austria not Bavaria
Explain why fantastical history isn't the best fantasy

>so much drama
Actually?

these loss edits are too esoteric for me to handle

>Reddit stuff
Ah okay then

reddit.com/r/totalwar/comments/70i1p7/totalbiscuit_streaming_lord_skrolk_campaign_right/

Sort by new and spot the asscancerbabbies

'Basis'
Bretonia = France
Empire = HRE
Estalia = Spain
Tilea = Italy
Oblast = Russia/Poland
Norsca = Scandinavia
Albion = Britain
Araby = Arabia
Nippon = LITERALLY THE JAPANESE WORD FOR JAPAN
Grand Cathay = China
Ind = Fucking India
"New" World = Americas

It's a direct rip off. No originality whatsoever, be it in locations or fantasy creatures.

Should be a Drucchi fucking a cold one, and amazons saying NEVER CONQUERED whilst using a humans arm as dildo between two of them, and a pygm eating its poo

>12 days

AAAAH THE PAIN

...

post em

lmao

This is my favorite fucking total warham meme by far.

it's hardly direct, since arabia isn't on the western coast of Africa and there isn't a chain of mountains running from scandinavia to southern africa you retard. Even racewise, there's no real world location tied to fantastical races. Half these places don't even have myths about the races either.

irrelevant

>all of those retards thinking hes good because he beat 3 armies with one
>on normal

It is now September, and the return of the true Phoenix King is nigh. All across Naggaroth the legions of the Witch King beckon to their sovereigns summons.

Surveying his skin cloth campaign map for the last time, Malekith knows to be ever weary of the roving tribes in the north; and also not to be ignorant of any ambitious dreadlords.
Word has reached him that his mother has marched south without order, it is of little consequence, though the rumour that she has resurrected her cult of pleasure is troubling.

On Ulthuan his spies report that Tyrion is engaged with another cult, taking advantage of the conflict could allow the Witch King to establish another foothold on Ulthuan.

Further south where the shifting sands of Araby blow, it has been reported that the servile men of the Asrai have conquered swathes of land, the riches of this land could well aid Malekiths coffers if he chose to wrest it from them. Though another rumour, perhaps untrue, but not worth ignoring is that a hold of the ratmen is situated somewhere in this land.

Finally from out of the land of Lustria little has been heard, the most valuable pieces of information being that a notable lord of the lizardmen is currently fighting human settlers by himself, it could be advantageous to eliminate such an opponent as swiftly as possible. As for the other piece of information, it has been heard that the whoreson Teclis is leading an expedition on the southernmost tip of Lustria, supposing he survives the dangers of the land it would give Malekith great pleasure to have a rematch.

Regardless of where the first strike is made Malekith will control the vortex and regain his homeland. Domination by a best elf soon!

Thanks for defending the true canon. Everyone knows Queer secretly craves elf cock.

I'm fairly certain he is one of the people defending himself there, considering he is complaining about r/totalwar on twitter

DIS STINKS

that's actually one of the major selling points of the setting in my opinion um jammer fammy.

What about Nippon? What about Estalia? What about Bretonia? What about the Empire? What about Oblast? What about Albion? What about IND? What about the "New" World looking exactly like the Americas?

>oblast
stop
it's kislev

wat about em

>kislev
No, it's Oblast
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Oblast
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Oblasts_of_the_Soviet_Union

I'm actually in the "queek elf-fucker" camp, but I love this meme so I wanted to throw an edit in.

Vortex in the background of course
>Brettonia = late feudal Normandy
>Empire = Renaissance HRE
>Estalia = Spain
>Tilea = iron crown of lombardy
>KISLEV = Russia united under the Muscovites but far more tolerant of the mongols
>Albion = Medivael Ireland/ Celtic Brittania inferior long before roman conquest
>Norsca = norse and #NotAllNorscans are chaos worshippers, and those that are don't directly invoke the God's names
>Araby = beyliks of Anatolia post sultanate of rum/ UAE
>Nippon = Japan after SENGOKU JIDAI
>Cathay = china with dragon lion cav and a tzeentchian cult aiding the emperor
>Ind = Timurhids due to gunpowder prevalence, beastmen excess is due to lots of people birthing mutatns at the same rate/ churchill quote
>New World= Ulthuan which is atlatnis as herodtus taught/ Victorian britain, Naggorond is 13 colonies + if they won the war of 1812, lustria is aztecs but not just in mesoamerica so removing the mayans and andean civs
ACTUALLY pretty good compared to other fantasy settings which tend to have 1 civ per biome

They're all direct rip offs from the real world, no originality at all.

Might aswell be playing Attila, or Medieval 2 m8

North Africa is Arab. The war between Arabia and Estalia and the Bretonnian crusades are a direct ripoff from the real world crusades and reconquista of Spain.

that doesn't make any sense
>it's not America, it's just "State"

VAMPIRES!

STOP IT WITH OBLAST, they're not those they are the dominions of the empire of kislev

kislev is the country whose capital is kislev surrounded by the kislev oblast you fucking retarded piece of shit try listening when people who know things better than you try to correct you 10/10 i'm slightly mad

obviously they are inspired by geography and mythology, but the point is it's not direct. Chronology is another aspect you are forgetting, just because Empire is not-germany doesn't mean it had to be 16th century, just because bretonnia is france doesn't mean it has to be medieval. Guess what, ALL fantasy settings are based around the real world, it wouldn't be compelling without relatable aspects. Would lustria feel half as real if it was up north with norsca rather than in the equatorial zone in the southern hemisphere? Even if you were right it'd have absolutely no bearing on how good the setting is.

I made my own version to re-establish the true facts but yours was posted first and is better.

You don't get it, they've literally taken the name from the name of regions from the Russian Federation

If that doesn't prove that it's a rip off, I don't know what does. Fair play for them getting that in-depth with it though, atleast it wasn't a half-assed rip off

Jesus, this f*cking community sometimes. A guy pulls an audience of 9000 into a TWW stream, shows us the first 50 turns in a single sitting and the only thing you can focus on is how he's not good enough at the game for you. Infuriating

>f*cking
from serious post to shitpost in three words

...

The greatest extent of the Arab Empire didn't reach western Africa, certainly not round to Nigeria, Sierra Leone and the Cote d'ivoire you clown. It just filled in the extent of the Roman empire in northern Africa.

Are you trying to say that we're

entitled

...

>he doesn't know about redditposting

SERIOUSLY HOW THE FUCK DO YOU GET MORE THAN 15 FPS DURING BATTLES IN ATTILLA?????

IVE GET 60 FPS IN THE WITCHER 3 ON MAX SETTINGS BUT DUMB ASS ATILLA IS AT LIKE 15 FPS DURING BATTLE LINES CLASHING WITH EACH OTHER ON FUCKING PERFORMANCE SETTINGS

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Umayyad_Caliphate

It got pretty damn fucking close

I'm honestly amazed by how many white knights a fat brit with asscancer has. How the fuck did a guy with skin that thin get to be the largest yt "gaming critic"?

your men or theirs

>Rip off interesting history, add some fantasy twist
>Get interesting rip-off of a setting
There is literally nothing wrong with that

don't you friggin' swear on my Christian forum

So long as you give it your own twist and treat it as a setting in its own right

HRE-themed Empire: Acceptable
Classical/Moorcock/Middle Earth Elves: Acceptable
A genius Tilean inventor called Leonardo: GARBAGE

Red capes are mine, rest are either enemy or ally

Why did Araby not last that long in Estalia then like the Ummayyads did in Iberia
What would you call him then, he MADE tanks unlike devinci who just designed the tank
What mod?

like any business, get in early stay consistent and take opportunities.

Because then it would be too obvious that they're ripping off the Reconquista.

Honestly, at this point, we need a Total Warhammer thread and a Historical TW thread.

Jesus fuck, just look at this map and then look at a real map of Africa. Araby is located where Morocco and the Maghreb should be.

Mountain chain = real world Atlas mountains
Great desert = Sahara

There's even the fucking Nile river to the east, Tuareg tribes in the desert and 'Ebonian tribes' where Nigeria should be.

Can you critique warcraft as well, because we have a TW for that as well

what's the problem though

>Woah! Look at this! That just looks like THAT? And that over there? Just like this!!! And that right there???? JUST LIKE THIS THING on OUR MAP!!!

Fuck Warcraft and fuck Warhammer

there u go m8

It's lazy and causes the audience to think of the Warhammer world as literally "Not-Earth". It's a direct attack on verisimilitude

Anyone got 'history ain't free' with bloodshot eyes, as the suckers seem to have rebooted their roouters
>Ebonian tribes
Nah that's just Not! Ebdanians from Albion, don't you even read the fluff?

LoL Total war when?

Seven Kingdoms
It's pretty good, just a shame there isn't an autist who has ported the models to the campaign

Am I the only one who actually kinda likes the whole Not-Earth thing?
I mean, yeah, it's pretty lazy to just squish yoorup like a pug nose, but it almost has kind of a quaint feel to it. It's got an air of familiarity, while still having fucking ogres, rat-men, lizard-men, elves, dwarves, and demons from an immaterial realm of pure madness.
I'm not saying it's a super creative setting, but it's strangely comfy, in a way, to see trolls in Scandinavia, pegasi in France, Aztec lizards in South America, and bondage fetish elves in North America.

calm down lad Im sure total war china will be out soon

>Am I the only one who actually kinda likes the whole Not-Earth thing?
no, most people are completely fine with it
i don't even see it as lazy

You probably are, it's atrociously lazy

You could with warhammer because of how powerful specced out heroes are, we did also have gladiator mods for rome 2
Ah so you're the GoT poster
But you could get lost in it, tonnes of people praised Martin for adapting history despite creating probably the worse fantasy series anywhere

It's definitely lazy, no denying that.

how's it lazy?
renaming everything into a unique language and generating a new map isn't any effort