/ss13g/ - spessmen on a spess station

fuck off skipper

frank
who the fuck plays warden lmao
johnny, ricc, antonio unless his adhd kicks kin
who the fuck plays detective lmao

How come you can eat food which has been injected with autist nanites without starting MoMMIfication?

The name rule is gone

>2561
>walk into bar
>battle of lil slugger starts playing

When you start the round as traitor and get:

"user might be sympathetic to your cause"

Is user also a traitor? Do I contact them and its up to them to listen/ join me? Are they free to do antag shit at that point?

Don't, they aren't always traitors. And if you tell them your codewords they'll kill you because:
>They're a traitor
You might ruin their antag roll
>They're non-antag
You just outed yourself as valid

It means literally nothing.
That's a random person who set his NT relations to "fuk NT" to get more TC

>there are people who don't want that dank extra TC roll
There's literally no reason to set your relation to anything other than Opposed.

>Frank White
>Riccardo Benizoni
>Johnny Caldwell
>Eloise Chappelle

discuss my draft

...

Lynch the coders!

3/4

Honk

What's Frank ever done but shill?

All of them are truly terrible, except riccardo. The rest are fucking dumb and don't know how to work in a team on sec.

pretty good, maybe replace frank though
he's pretty lenient but sometimes too lenient

I'm not any of these but
>Be security officer
>Bird ops
>Holomap located
>???? part of my brain INSISTS that I go and try to kill the final 2 bird ops alone for no reason what so ever
>Do so and get robusted

Hello medbay may I trade in my brain for a better one? mine isn't working

serb down?

is the bad one frank white?

here's a hint
3/4 of them are male

I remember that. I was the detective that round, you dumb fuck.

Join now for cultstended

>Kinda want to come back even though I already forgot most of the stuff
>Know that I will just be a side charcter that dies at the start of the round and nobody ever talks to him

>he has protag syndrome
no thanks

It's a good thing that I don't run a static because I think at this point people would be legitimately worried that I have a brain tumor or something

join the NPC club, user
you get tons of benefits

>hating the french qt

they can be qt but that doesn't make them any less shit

>You are Under Arrest.
>Am I Under Arrest?
>Are you Under Arrest?
>Where are the Lawful Arrests?
>What kind of Lawful Arrests are we making today?
>Have we made all of the Lawful Arrests?

every other detective is shit except her desu, most cant even solve a crime

Have you heard of the Vox Raiders?

at least they're not playing officers with a blue coat
>expecting the detective to do anything in a game like ss13, especially on Veeky Forumsstation
i'd take one RPing detective who isn't an acting sheriff over twenty eloises
>inb4 bbbbut the accent was ar-peeing

Virus doesn't always work due to RNG

>at least they're not playing officers with a blue coat
What?

It doesn't even mean that anymore.

Loyal only.
Get out edgy teens.

I've seen eloise go acting deputy shitcurity tier on people, left a bad aftertaste

No more using the invisibility spray on singularities, what do you think?

github.com/vgstation-coders/vgstation13/pull/16163

Emojis go here

>expecting the detective to do anything in a game like ss13, especially on Veeky Forumsstation
This. A lot of our core game mechanics (movespeed) are totally incompatible with any kind of mystery solving.
I wish they'd either go the whole hog and just unleash the detective already; allowing them to just be security officers with a scanner who sometimes employ disguises without any stigma or pretense that they'll ever have the tools to solve a proper mystery/ever have a proper mystery to solve to begin with.

I think they mean playing as a security officer who happens to be wearing the blue forensic tech coat

Blue coat is objectively the worst detective coat.

I've been playing for around a year, and I forgot that was even a thing. I don't /think/ it's getting abused too hard, so I'd like it to stay.

Sometimes the detective has to be a security officer because lmao no sec on VG.

Red coat is objectively ugly and awful.

>2017
>still no actual classy suits for the detective, with a bunch of ties to choose from

Or even when there is Security, the amount of Solved, but "Un-Arrested" cases still ends up overwhelming Security such that the Detective is better off doing the Arresting necessary than simply adding to the pile. (One great example of this is during Cult. If you identify that X dpt. is Cultists, and people are busy, you're better off buddying up and raiding it than by moving on to investigating a new department which may or may not be cult.)

Then again, ~they~ are like to nerf the good shit once it starts getting used, even if wizards were made clumsy. I'll never stop being mad that subjugate was nerfed after I started using it.

I understand that. Threaddies still complain though. You find a rune, scan it, check for blood, go and arrest the suspect alone, search his bag and find a tome and then take him to the brig for deculting and they'll freak out in the thread shouting "detectives shouldn't arrest, let us officers do the hard work." then in game all officers dick off to maint and never listen to the detective telling them who to arrest.

Detective truly is the tfw to intelligent job, you're a teacher in kindergarten, trying to make the children do something productive and draw a pretty picture instead of just doing it all yourself in a fraction of the time and much better.

The funniest thing is when a threaddie thinks they're important as security. They pat themselves on the back and shill each other, "good arrest there" or "nice aim my friend". Laughable every time. Always gives me a hearty chuckle. The Threaddie officer thinks he matters, he unironically believes that he solves crimes and catches antagonists.

The detective does the real work, puts together seemingly meaningless clues, a fiber here, a dropped tool there, a hacked door in maint. All of it ultimately adding up to the capture of a deadly antagonist fully capable of killing every single crewmember if he got a chance, a chance he had if not for the detective stopping him. You see the detective is able to think, something an officer is incapable of. She can notice the minute details and piece them together into an intricate tale, leading to a solved case and a drink at the bar. All for no praise too, a detective's life is tragic for she alone saves the lives of every crewman woman and child and yet the Head of Dumbcurity and the Stupidcurity Officers of the station catch all the credit.

For a comparison I would say the detective is the greek philosopher of ss13, the masses don't even know she exists despite being so vital. The threaddie officer is the farmer, a diamond dozen no brain, easily replaced by robots

fellow spessmen, your new pasta ^

>exactly 2000 characters
autism overwhelmingly

To be fair, you have to have a very high IQ to understand detective's work. Theclues are extremely subtle, and without a solid grasp of theoretical physics most of them will go over a typical spessman's head. There's also the detctive's nihilistic outlook, which is deftly woven into his characterisation - his personal philosophy draws heavily from Narodnaya Volya literature, for instance. The true detectives understand this stuff; they have the intellectual capacity to truly appreciate the depths of these schemes and clues, to realize that they're not just clever - they say something deep about LIFE. As a consequence people who dislike the detective truly ARE idiots- of course they wouldn't appreciate, for instance, the humour in the detecitve's catchphrase "We'll hear your story back at the station!" I'm smirking right now just imagining one of those addlepated simpletons scratching their heads in confusion as Sherlock Holmes' genius unfolds itself on their computer screens. What fools... how I pity them. And yes by the way, I DO have a ss13 tattoo. And no, you cannot see it. It's for the ladies' eyes only- And even they have to demonstrate that they're within 5 IQ points of my own (preferably lower) beforehand.

>his

did i stutter?

THREADIES BTFO
B T F O
OUI OUI FRANÇAIS

>picosong.com/wwW8j/
Absolutely fantastic. Your clown voice is top-notch.

fuck off eloise you dumb frenchy, nobody thinks your gay accent is cute

>nobody
But I do

>thinks a dead character is cute
weird

The detective's job is to keep people *out* of the brig.
And occasionally to act like a hero and die alone in maint.
>Sometimes the detective has to be a security officer because lmao no sec on VG.
If there aren't security officers, there aren't security officers. So it goes.

trust me man, I have been playing for four years and if I ran a static people would think I was retarded too.

>disconcerting cult
Destroy their cult gear earlier in the round, eventually you'll get all of it.
Kill the cultists later in the round, there are too many to deconvert.

Let's learn a little about the people you work on the station with!
Post your static's:
>main job
>opinion of life on the station
>opinion of nanotrasen
>typical reaction to workplace sexual harassment

>>main job
playing a videogame
>>opinion of life on the station
its not real
>>opinion of nanotrasen
neither is this
>>typical reaction to workplace sexual harassment
you cant sexually harrass someone if neither you nor they exist

>science/roboticist
>neutral
>neutral
>neutral

>xkrcbduf
>efojsdal
>dlguoqr
>gldhkfu

...

>captain (lately)
>get back to work
>Hail corporate overlords
>Women should not be deployed at these installations

fuck off skipper

>AI
>Great
>Loves NanoTrasen
>Doesn't know what "sexual harassment" is

Why cant we get one round without admins pressing meteor+blob 30 times?
Oh because we wont fucking call the shuttle for anything less.

>actually participating in this faggotry
kys

law two learn what sexual harrassment is

Quartermaster/Chef
It's alright I guess.
They are alright. Better than the syndicate.
Extremely awkward for all parties involved and shouldn't happen.

hi een

You forgot the rods.

>mechanic
>NOTHING IS WORSE THAN THE HELL THAT IS MY LIFE
>GIB ME PLASMA I BORN THE MACHINES
>
dude what the fuck, why ruin the post with that bullshit?

because estrogen is equal parts yass slay kween and bone hurting juice so they gotta be like fuckin shittin the thread up all day to negate the molech dark matter pupu platter you feel me

...

god i wish that were me

Another successful strike from the Anti Waifu Coalition.

h-hot

>Run around hacking things doing fuckall
>Time to be a hero and fight the blob
>Internals run out and eventually my lungs are too far gone to stand anymore
Fucking brig is designed horribly holy shit.

THIS IS THE ANTI STATIC LEAGUE AND WE DISAVOW THE ACTIONS OF THE FALSE ANTI WAIFU COALITION. THEY TOOK OUR IDEALS AND CORRUPTED THEM WE HAVE NO ILL WILL TOWARDS WAIFUS. WE ARE THE TRUE FUTURE OF THE SERVER

When a latex version of something takes a shit, is it latex shit or normal shit?
Does they stomach acid just slide around in a latex stomach there or is it the same as normal?

Remove cult

npc league takeover when
our goals are just to observe the round and offer assistance to anyone who interacts with us in relation to our assigned jobs
pic unrelated

it really does bring the worst out in everyone

>when you just want to settle down with a qt 3.14 WFU but there's apparently two terrorist organizations out for their blood

...

Especially security and the AI who supposedly forgot what its asimov laws mean

>If there aren't security officers, there aren't security officers. So it goes.
I feel like that's about as sensical as never leaving the Brig as the Warden even if you're the only member of Security. Role flexibility depending on what's staffed is important