Christian art thread

Come on, you're not a true Veeky Forumstorian if you've never fapped to nuns before.

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SACRILEGE

BURN IT AS THE ARTIST WILL BURN IN THE FIRES OF HELL

welp there goes No Fap November...

this t.b.h.

Why are nuns so heavenly THICC?

God is stealing all the fertile women for himself.

Fucking prick.

THICC

From sitting on their big bottoms all day reading the bible

If telling married heterosexuals when and how they can have sex is wrong, then I don't wanna be right in the eyes of this perverted world.

Neither me nor my boyfriend have any intention of leaving seminary.

xvideos.com/video7283358/naughty_latex_nuns

We better start talking about history before the mods get here. Umm, how did the idea of chastity in the church start? Why do they do it, and more importantly why do they continue doing it?

>mods
>Actually doing their job
>on Veeky Forums

>Umm, how did the idea of chastity in the church start?
Matthew 19:1-12
>Why do they do it, and more importantly why do they continue doing it?
Catholic clergymen tend to be sexually and emotionally stunted adults. Their push to stop people from having sex for pleasure stems from a desire to deny to others the natural acts of intimacy that they're too scared to pursue for themselves. It's like when men bash female athletes or musicians for being gross or untalented, as a front for their fear of putting their life at risk and working hard to do what they want most in life.

>when men bash female athletes or musicians for being gross or untalented
>female athletes are never gross and female musicians are never untalented you're just um being a shitlord and stuff #checkurprivilege

That explanation seems more like a leftist revision of history but unless a better explanation comes along I'm just gonna go along with it.

F-fucking chadeity

>how did the idea of chastity in the church start?

Because of frankish hereditary law. If a bishop had legal children, his wealth would be split up between all of his sons. That way the church would lose most of its wealth after a few generations.

Wow, that makes much more sense. Have a (You).

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I guess it was a good post to project onto because I was thinking it sounded alt-right. Made Catholic clergymen sound pretty "beta" as you-know-who would say.

>It's like when men bash female athletes or musicians for being gross or untalented
Not even a little right wing

Well, the thing is that when you are just skimming threads you tend to form your impressions of posts from the first things you read.

I suppose if I was paying attention I would've had an impression more similar to your own.

>“On Sunday evening, October 30th 1501, Cardinal Cesare Borgia, son of Pope Alexander VI, hosted a banquet in the Papal Palace where fifty prostitutes were in attendance for the entertainment of the guests.
>"Following the supper, lampstands holding lighted candles were placed on the floor and chestnuts strewn about, which the prostitutes, naked and on their hands and knees, had to pick up with their mouths as they crawled in and out among the lampstands. The Pope watched and admired their noble parts”.
>“Members of the clergy and other party guests had sex with the prostitutes for prizes. According to Burchard: “Prizes were offered—silken doublets, pairs of shoes, hats and other garments—for those men who were most successful with the prostitutes. Servants kept score of each man’s orgasms, for the pope greatly admired virility; and measured a man’s machismo by his ejaculative capacity.”

wtf

the "Christianity was hijacked by Roman emperors to maintain their godhood" memes are true

how is that sacrilege

it's literally a depiction of someone who took a vow of chastity having sex

honestly though the vow of chastity is fairly new all things considered, sometimes people meet their spouse in religious service (you're supposed to abstain until marriage, and you have to leave church service to get married).

The drink in those glasses looks really tasty.

>about 10 years before the reformation
Really makes you think.

The nuns must've been thirsty as fuck.

They probalby knew how to keep themself ocupied.

So were there any real cases of large-scale nun prostitution / general debauchery?

Also pic related is the best work on this topic.

BungaBunga, it is an old Italian tradition.

>as you-know-who would say
Saddam?

Oh man, Alexander VI. Uniformly acknowledged as the worst pope, and it's not close. Apparently when he died noxious gas was emitted from his corpse; also, as you might imagine, his successor purged everyone who had been loyal to him from the Vatican, and blotted his name out of everything.

Chastity is older than christianity. But like

mentioned, the church couldnt aford to lose money and propiety in the Inheritances of his clergy.

I wish I were the Pope

This is the highest point of Christianity according to Nietzsche, then that faggot Luther came along and ruined it.

>according to Nietzsche
And Spengler, apparently

Moar pls

MOAR FOR THE LOVE OF GOD

I really really like this painting

the one with the trap nun getting fucked by the futa mother superior was better

>trap nun
Good.
>futa mother superior
Disgusting.

It also doesn't have any Jesus in it

Familiar...

What the fuck is this even from
Whoever painted it must have had training or gone through one of those baroque art academies
So who is he

I guarantee you he's French.

Fuck off retard fedoralord

I don't need to.

Down the road from my apartment is a nunnery and I've seen some young novices. Most are dorky but some are qt.

>would still corrupt the dorky ones t.b.h.

>doesn't like futa

what are you?, some kind of faggot?

My roomate claims he had sex with a woman that was weeks away from joining a convent, he says he was one of, or the final man she planned to have sex with. It sounded like bullshit to me. I could tell he thought I was going to be very impressed too. He's a very pathetic person.

Futa is good t b h

What if a number of the popes did this, and he was the only one who was caught. You would never know.

It is actually pretty true.

t. I have an uncle in the Catholic Priesthood where it was fuck-common to either pick up a chick in a bar or pay a whore before being ordained. Pretty much told me all the young ones do so, nuns too.

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I'm sure at least a few other popes have done it too, but none were as notorious as Alexander. That's to say nothing of the fact that he bought the papacy with cartloads of silver.

And yet for all that, doctrine was never changed and things carried on normally in the aftermath of his death. The Holy Spirit is truly at work in the Church.

Every futa manga could be improved by just turning the futa into a girl with a strap-on.
>dick awkwardly placed where the clit should be
>no balls
What's even the point if it's so half-assed?

I've been reading the Canterbury Tales and, I'm not gonna lie, there were some parts where I got pretty turned on

Strapons don't orgasm and cum buckets.

what's with the constant legalistic approach to religious doctrine?

"hurrrr I'm not TECHNICALLY ordained yet so I should still have sex this one last time heh no harm no foul"

seems disingenuous

If you just staple a dick to a girl she probably won't be able to cum either.
>it's possible with magic
A magic strapon works at least as well, while also looking a lot less retarded.

Source

based Heinrich Lossow

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Is that a Jewish Russian?

Imagine being a nun and finally giving your body to a man sexually. All that pent up sexual desire finally unleashed

As a catholic right, God would understand me if he saw how thicc she was.

Popery, not even once

>implying there's anything wrong with having sex with a nun.
Based Luther had SIX kids with a nun.

Will I go to hell if I save this?

Well it IS titled "The Sin" so you're probably safe unless you fap to it, then you're definitely going to hell

>"influence of two sister prostitutes, Marozia and Theodora[1] was founded on their wealth and beauty, their political and amorous intrigues: the most strenuous of their lovers were rewarded with the Roman tiara, and their reign may have suggested to darker ages the fable of a female pope. The bastard son, two grandsons, two great grandsons, and one great great grandson of Marozia—a rare genealogy—were seated in the Chair of St. Peter."
-Edward Gibbon

neatorama.com/2010/02/03/pornocracy-rule-by-harlots/

Really? Where's the source on that?

It's common knowledge, though you could say she wasn't technically a nun anymore when they had kids because she was his wife. Ole Luther literally cucked Big G.

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> replying after 31 minutes

Too late mein friend

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Katharina_von_Bora

Pure

>they all have their socks on

>They way she's subtly slipping his coins to the guy behind
made me kek.

Yeah, she's got a nice face, thick thighs, probably a fat butt, sex look on face and sexy position, got the book grope going on

P. Hot

Satan's got a strong pelvis there to have a chick standing on it

>>"hurrrr I'm not TECHNICALLY ordained yet so I should still have sex this one last time heh no harm no foul"
>
>seems disingenuous
no it is not. People love clear cuts, like rituals, and little rules, precisely because the laws permit to avoid gray areas (in theory ofc)

>legalism and abrahamic religions
Choose two.
American mainline Protestantism is an enormous outlier.

Holy fuck the perspective is so wrong in this illustration. How could you screw up that bad?

By having no actual training.

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See: Kosher lightswitches
Jews engage in that type of legalese bullshit in Israel as well.

kosherswitch.com/live/tech/how

>heh, god didn't do a very good job writing these rules! i found a loophole!
I really have to wonder if these people even genuinely believe the faith they claim to follow.

>I really have to wonder if these people even genuinely believe the faith they claim to follow.
They believe God gave them the loopholes so as not to make life unbearable instead of merely inconvenient. It's like a hair shirt; the inconvenience is supposed to remind one of God's mercy.
It also helped create a people who are consistently smarter than the populations they're part of, so that's a plus.

It doesn't create smarter people. These people would still be deceptive shits without weird religious laws. They'd just apply their talents to some other part of their life.

Oh, and other amusing examples would be monks using clubs because they weren't allowed to "cut flesh", so they figured that bashing skulls in was all good.

>Oh, and other amusing examples would be monks using clubs because they weren't allowed to "cut flesh", so they figured that bashing skulls in was all good.
That's actually an urban legend. Monks used swords all the time, and when they did use maces it's because those are better at killing dudes wearing armor. It comes from Gygax fucking bullshitting why cleric classes have blunt weapon proficiency in fucking D&D.

Gygax was a god. I'll kick you in the teeth for that.