/ss13g/ - spess

These lagspikes are brutal. Kinda negates one of the big appeals for the server for me

>20whatever
>walk into bar
>youtu.be/byyQsLaCAdk

I have metagrudging down to a science

I wish there was some hidden feature that just instantly permabanned me when people started metagrudging me

I don't trust like that

Everybody is the protagonist.

The detective and chaplain are occasionally the protagonist when they're robust and ignore sec, but usually not.
No one else is ever the protagonist.

How do we nerf this?

More often than not I'm a posibrain because there's no latejoin borg option

Use the very easy hardcounter

>hardcounter

No. Stop.

You keep this up we'll have hardcounters on fucking hamburgers and wheat.

The supposed protagonist/npc/antagonist trichotomy is flawed, as it relies on technical definitions instead of what actually goes on in the game. You could argue that every player is their own protagonist in a sense. You could argue that antagonists are the protagonists. But in reality, players are players regardless of contextual situations. Some have roles, rule exemptions, and some don't. Acting out or bending said rules doesn't imply unwarranted self-importance in the offending player.
Donuts was a shitmin and did the entire game community a grave disservice.

The counter is already there.

Most NPC jobs tier list

>'Hello Traveler, would you like to go on an adventure'-Tier?
Chaplain
Trader
>'SCV good to go Sir!'-Tier
QM
Engineer
Atmos Tech
>'Get me some healin', ye blasted fool! Do it now!'-Tier
Medical Doctor (and all alt-titles)

Mommis are not included because they are absolutel shitters, and thus not worthy of NPC status

They aren't the antagonist in so far as the round isn't about them.

*protagonist

MoMMIs are either ambient wildlife tier or random environmental hazard tier, depending.

The round isn't about any specific player.

Sometimes it is. Remember Chug? Tinky?

post leaked security cam footage from SS13

That picture is fantastic because you can actually see the MoMMIs scuttling around in panic. Would love to know the context or a pic of damage control chat too.

Good OP.

...

>Chug
t. Chug
Tinky became an event. The game mode didn't start out as "Tinky the Clown". 99.9% of rounds don't end like that.

>panic
you can see they were testing flamethrowers and they're reveling in the fire, which is why it's so funny to me

Oh, I'm dumb, I didn't see the flamethrower. I just got so caught up in the fact they were between tiles, making it an action shot.

That round was nothing special.
t. observer

Station engineer is a pretty heroic job, it involves pulling people out of wrecks any time there's any kind of breach/explosion/fire. That's what I enjoy most about the job.

>But paramedic
Paramedics are usually asleep in their office because they got bored before the action started. I've tried playing paramedic but you need something to do while waiting for the action. Engineers can at least set up power and do repairs.

Chug had several notable rounds.

I've never seen an engineer do that and paramedics do it all the time.

Engineers are playing roulette.
Some times there's no CE and they have to set up an engine. Other times they win a free suit.
The CE is just a lynchable MoMMI.

I think people are mixing up protagonist and hero. There are no protagonists in spess, instead there are heroes. Everyone is a side character or antagonist, and nearly every side character can have a chance at being heroic and that's what makes spess great.

t. tertiary character

NPC AND PROUD

Suggestion: wizards apprentice crew (zozzle free antag) instead of ghosts, and they're only loyal for 5-10 minutes

What is the job that the greatest # of Veeky Forums spessmen cannot play?

Antag

Almost everyone knows medical
Almost everyone knows hacking
Absolutely everyone knows cargo
Most people know science or to use the wiki
A lot of people come just for atmos
Not many people are good new cops
~10 non-mommi know how to set up the engine
~20 people (none sec) know space law
I don't think anyone knows all the bar drinks at the moment

>~10 non-mommi know how to set up the engine
I'd say:
60% of people know the AME
30% know singuloth
10% know SME
5% know TEG
2% are really good at either the SME or the TEG
0.25% know the rust

>game locks up every second walking mushrooms decided to flood everyone with text
>so the russian mobs on the old telecomms area can speak with Cyrillic characters

wow cool

Those russians are absolutely vital!

what role should I play now that I've mastered chef

I know how to set up the engine, am I cool yet?

security

Cook

If you're bored of chef, I'm sorry. That's the best job on the station.

Lets be honest, serb was better with cyber horrors there
RIP in piece, ghosts trying to read back back then tho

i didn't know how to make anything but tofu and sausages
it was too easy

>tfw I game won't let me speak in cyrillic. fucking гeй

Detective.

corbin it was hilarious watching you struggle with the kitchen but don't worry about it, play chef as long as you want until you get the hang of it. burned messes won't (likely) kill anyone

Putin, pls.

Learn how to make food that instantly heal you completely.
Or that give you incurable brain damage

So proud of you Lock Hyde. THAT is how you Chemist. Keep up the good work.

Bartender, then AI

>çáñt ûsè dîáçrïtìçs íñ ñåmês
Pisses me off, too.

I like this chart.

how to obtain butts

yuo should master not ick ocking you fucking faggot

pintpointers broke

The thing about chef is that most people just want to run up, stuff their face, and run off. You can make a bunch of pretty shit but then people feel like they're messing up your work if they eat the good stuff. Sometimes when I play chef I go pure utilitarian. Grow a shitload of apples. Grind 5 bag loads and make two 50 nutriment condiment bottles. Dump both on a single apple giving it 100 nutriment. Serve 4 of those apples on plates. Enough to sustain the entire crew all round. Replace when they get taken by miners. Then just shoot the shit and prepare dishes as ordered by the crew that wanna role play.

Missing Spaceacilin, missing grenade substances, and Iron is Mercury.

Question: Can husked bodies be borged?

Yes and they can also be brain transplanted into a humanized monkey body

>Exploring maint
>Random wall is glowing bright orange and green
>The fuck is this?
>Hear a weird ass noise on the other side as I get closer
>The fuck is that?
>Suddenly wall disappears and I'm instantly grabbed and dragged in by a vine that was 2 tiles away
>Burst into flames and go into crit in two seconds

yes, the brain still works

github.com/vgstation-coders/vgstation13/blob/cc930c26299d7aaf54fa63c31841e26d1f3a360b/code/modules/surgery/butt.dm

>and Iron is Mercury.
That's been on every chart for years.

Did those even get merged yet?
Also, suggestions?

this round man
>late join as HoS
>get tatored as I join
>brig is gone and all I have for a sec squad is a bone detective and some newbie bartender
>I heal their wounds, give them nazi hard suits and a boat load of guns
>apparently the borgs were rogue and the most likely suspect is the HoP
>I tase the HoP and go to search him, but instead of cuffing him they just start stomping on him
>HoP gets up and starts lasering me
>we fight for a bit and eventually I kill him
>I clone the HoP to humilate him and imprison him
>the 2 officers of mine decide to shoot me while I'm cloning the HoP
>they strip me and dump me in disposals
>they come and try to shoot me with their guns while I'm naked and unarmed
>I run away
>assassinate the bone man who betrayed me
>get shit on by the HoP again
>almost got tossed into space by the cargo tech, but I woke up a split second before the mass driver launched me
>I toolbox him a bit
>almost make it to the pod with green text but fucking carp zas me for days
>all this with triple digit milisecond ping
>tator HoP got his green beans
so this is what happens when you try to free people from tyrannical leaders, woah.

Yes but the sprite doesn't work properly or something

rip server?

be thankful vine growth was nerfed, that was a round-ending kudzu right there

No. It's not breathing too good though.

>The server gasps!

>Play chef
>Mutate plants, order 20 meat/garnish crates
>Make lots of exotic food
>Nobody eats it because it's too spicy or a little toxic

I'd say Xenoarch simply because there's absolutely no reason to ever learn (or do) Xenoarch and it's not really a job you pick up without a guide.
Followed probably by Xenobio, similar reasons, it's less useless but still non-essential and very self-contained.

fuck you, the captain uploaded antimov over my libertarian laws, we were living in a libertarian utopia based on the NAP before both of you joined

>Missing Spaceacilin
the vendors start with more than enough spaceacilin for the entire crew pretty much, shit lasts forever
>missing grenade substances
figure out non-essential shit on your own t b h, a guide spoonfeeding every single thing you can do to you is pretty bad because there's nothing left to discover anymore

hey, I wasn't a newb, just really high.

Fair enough, but having a grenade guide that explains which mixtures actually hold together and work and not cross-react upon activation, and fuck up your grenade from being as deadly/effective as it can. This is gonna require autism and the test server, but test server perpetually has no power everywhere on the station so not sure how to go about experimenting.

Who is your favorite scientist?

>James "Why does X exist" Vorter
>Ricky "Slime Fucker" Stick
>Beatrice "Singlehandedly getting Xenobiology nerfed" Santello
>Marko "If he's got a flash its time to dash" Bomb
>Hachi ??? it's a vox.

>Test server has no power
Spawn that fancy ID and infinite power cell

Fuck ricky "balance changes" stick
Any r&d willing to give at least Plasma Cannons is OK in my book

you were a pretty swell guy, shame i didn't get to talk to you properly before our borgfriend went full murdermode

unban 2hotdogs

Will remember that, thanks.

I've had James help me out a bunch of times in my games, so him.

I love these. Ricky is my favorite, but what does Vorter's mean?

James "Loud, Proud, and Deeply Uncomfortable" Vorter

if i had to choose, either james or hachi
james is nice and has become a pretty good RD now but takes things too personally or seriously sometimes
hachi is a pretty nice bird even though they blew toxins up that one time (do they even play RD?)

Hachi 'You know she's nonantag if she isn't currently killing you'

what the fuck am i supposed to do as mime

Have an imagination.