You are forced to go back into time and serve in any war in history, what war do you choose Veeky Forums?

American Civil War.

The Emu War.

But a pest control operation isn't a war

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kettle_War

The Gulf War

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Desert Storm. First time around was easy enough, this time I'll see if I can skip that virus thingy that made me throw up.

finno-korean hyperwar

Id like to fight along side prophet Muhammad and kill the pagans

Zanzibar war, or Communist revolution.
Conquistadors had a very high death rate
Amen

The Great Turkish War

WW2, piloting a spitfire would be rad.

Inshallah we will have a chance when al-Mahdi (ajl Allah) comes

To serve Alfred against the Danes.

Shia please kill yourself

Balkan War or Italian Turkish war, can't think of something more pleasant then destroying Turks

'Nam or Korea. Getting a raging boner just thinking of murdering commie scum.

Vi-et-fucking-nam.

>blasting commies
>smoking weed
>god-tier music
>write edgy shit on my gear
>operate with 7.62 real fucking NATO

youtube.com/watch?v=JSUIQgEVDM4

:-)

The Moldovan-Transdniestrian War
War at day, party at night

Gulf War. Ezpz done in a few months get to live through that sick 90's economic boom.

I would like to serve with Andorra in WWI

Russian civil war.

Would love to fight alongside Nestor Mahkno desu.

It would suck that we'd get backstabbed by the red army tho.

The Norman Invasion of England, so I can take the arrow for Harold and save the future.

The Cola wars

Really though, probably the Seven Years War if only so that when it was over I could become a pirate

Save the future? The line of monarchs William left created the largest global spanning empire the world will ever know

And now look at it. If you had conquered the world before WW1 this would have never happened

en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Three_Hundred_and_Thirty_Five_Years'_War

World War 2, The Battle of Stalingrad, to be part of the most tide changing battle in human history

That isn't the Battle of the Atlantic.

Battle of Gaugamela

Napoleonic Wars

I'd like to be part of all the major battles; Salamanca, Talavera, Fuentes de Onoro, and Waterloo of course

Caligula's war against Neptune.

Easiest war ever.

THE YEAR IS 1741
THE FINAL BATTLE HAS BEGUN

Yeah but being a Roman legionary would suck, even if all you're doing is beating waves on a beach. Your commanding officer and his staff officers carried around clubs and they will beat you mercilessly for the slightest infractions.

the war on drugs

I'd assumed that I'd just appear on the beach to hack at the water and then disappear as soon as we were called off.

Still, fair point.

Caesar's conquest of Gaul

Just about any of the wars of the coalitions, for Napoleon of course.

don't be racist moot, australians are people just like you and me.

>you will never be a part of alexander's companion cavalry
>you will never engage in cheeky bantz with the boy emperor
>you will never have a massive orgy after sacking thebes
>you will never charge with your 5000 brothers in arms into inferior persian cavalry
>you will not participate in a mass wedding with your bros to a submissive persian qt
>you will never be at his side when his troops mutiny to go back to greece
>you will never be at his side as he dies
>you will never side storm back to makedon in the wake of your friend's crumbling empire
>you will never serve under antigonos gonatas as a royal advisor
>you will never die with a sense of pride that you were part of the army of the greatest general to ever live

why even live

Vietnam would actually be a pretty sensible choice, seeing as how any Americans/Koreans/ANZACs would have a very low chance of dying. Might get some pretty spooky PTSD or Agent Orange poisoning though.

>would have a very low chance of dying
A little over 1% for Vietnam.

For real though? Is that 1% died, or a 1% chance of dying?

Out of the total of combat troops in Vietnam, a little over 1% died from combat or combat-related wounds. Far less than 1% of the troops active in the Vietnam theater died. Iirc, it's in the neighborhood .1% or so that died in Theater. Check DCAS if you want concrete numbers.

Is that for all NATO nations or just US troops?

US

Cod wars
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cod_Wars#First_Cod_War

WW2

>ywn fight monarchists and communists on a tachanka
feels bad man

was going to say either this, or Vietnam flying close air support missions with a Phantom or Tiger II

Paraguayan War. I could kill all Paraguayans who wants to 0 chance of dying

Would want to be a Norseman under Harald Hadraade.
A Germanic tribesman under Arminius
An Iberian legionary in Caesar's 10th
A Celt under Boudicca
Norwegian Hirdsmen
Danish Viking
Saxon Thane in 1066
Norman Knight in 1066

War of the Bucket because I'm not a teenager that wants to emulate Call of Duty and war isn't a place anyone really wants to be unless they are fucked in the head.

> (OP)
More than half of Cortez' men died in the siege of Tenochtitlan alone.

THE BANTS

Maybe fight for Carthage in the first or second Punic Wars. Serving under Hamilkar would be cool as fuck or taking part in the Battle of Cannae and just freaking out shouting Hannibal's name after we win.

Being a Samurai in 1274 and 1281when the Mongols tried to invade Japan would be cool too.

>little ship night raids
>exploding catapult projectiles
>collecting heads
>glory glory glory
>kamikazi
>Japan #1

Underrated comment.

>be time travel victim
>since we're bending the laws of everything, might as well make you able to comprehend latin
>if you're on this board, you know how to read and write
>this automatically makes you an immunis and gives you more pay

wewwww ladddddd

>All the people choosing pre modern wars

why the fuck would anyone want to get stabbed or have their limbs chopped off ?

Better than getting gassed or having your balls blown off.

but what about being anally raped after having your balls javelin'd off

>gassed

well that's mostly ww1 so there's plenty of others to pick from

>having your balls blown off

while it is a possibility, most soldiers aim to the chest

he wasn't talking about someone shooting your balls off, he was talking about your mum

I've always loved this picture. It's the look in his eyes in contrast with the writing on his helmet. He almost looks at peace. A man who has fully accepted his death and has come to terms with it.

First crusade as a member of the Most Venerable Order of the Hospital of Saint John of Jerusalem.

I would want to fight in the battle of Stalingrad as a Red Army soldier. Because I have crippling depression and want to die.

Anglo- Zanzibar war.
lasted 35 minutes
I've taken longer shits than that

Man Knights Hospitaller weren't even a militarized force until maybe 20 years after the fall of Jerusalem to the crusaders.

Besides, being on the first crusade would have been one of the worst experiences ever. You travel thousands of miles in uncharted territory, to face wave after wave of pissed off muslims, butthurt Byzantines, and the worst heat on the planet. The "victorious" army resorted to cannibalism, eating the leather off their belts and boots, and were plagued with dysentery. It was truly almost an act of divine mandate that allowed them to win.

The emu war

Would avenge / 10

WW2 battle of britain

Napoleon's Italian Campaigns

The thirty minute war, on the british side.

>Four week life expectancy

Nigga you have never been so wrong.

WW2, European theater, i would prefer to be in a US tank destroyer battalion

Caeser's conquest of Gaul so that Rome doesn't have stinking barbarians at her gates.

The one that's shortest.

Either the Franco-Prussian War (on the Prussian side) or the Spanish Civil War.

The chimps would fuck you up.

rorkes drift

glorious martinis firing at niggers

Standing on a ship in the most powerful fleet of all history loading the guns as you blow a small island into oblivion for 42 mins then.

>NATO
>Vietnam
huh?

British conquest of Zanzibar?

the first gulf war
so when i get out i can invest in google

Being a milites would fucking suck, but being something like a tribune from a wealthy family basically on a ride-along with Caesar in preparation for a future career in the senate, managing a few minor logistical details but still getting to participate in the rapine and getting a massively unfair portion of the loot, would be fucking awesome.

that isnt the battle before Moscow

Noice.

Pretty sure he meant SEATO