/twg/ - Total War General

REMOVE RAT remove rat you are worst rat. you are the rat idiot you are the rat smell. return to caves. to our cave cousins you may come our contry. you may live in the zoo….ahahahaha ,rata sum we will never forgeve you. cetnik rascal FUck but fuck asshole rat stink rata sum sqhipere shqipare..rat genocide best day of my life. take a bath of dead rat..ahahahahahRATA SUM WE WILL GET YOU!! do not forget ascalon .rata sum we kill the king , rata sum return to your precious cave….hahahahaha idiot rat and rata sum smell so bad..wow i can smell it. REMOVE RAT FROM THE PREMISES. you will get caught. ascalon+kryta+orr+cantha=kill rat…you will ascalon/grast alive in rata sum, grast making commissar of kryta . fast rap grast ascalon. we are rich and have gold now hahahaha ha because of grast… you are ppoor stink rat… you live in a floating turd hahahaha, you live in a rock grast alive numbr one #1 in ascalon ….fuck the rats ,..FUCKk ashol rats no good i spit in the mouth eye of ur flag and contry. grast aliv and real strong wizard kill all the rat golem with dredge magic now we the krytans rule .ape of the zoo presidant zojja fukc the great satan and lay egg this egg hatch and rata sum wa;s born. stupid baby form the eggn give bak our clay we will crush u lik a skull of pig. kryta greattst countrey

>for ze lady
>it's clearly a reiksguard
baka senpai

*snipes your warlord*
Rats are for bullying

G O B L I N S

What the fuck is the reference for this shit

The resident drawfag of /twg/

I want to fug that skink

my grand queek plan is to semi-migrate to athel loren, both to get the +4 total food each wood elf settlement provides, and to get that sweet wardancer puss

I need more goblins and at least one (1) fimir from this guy

How do you built your Lizardmen cities?

I have some problem following the Great Plan, because every fucking military building needs like 2-3 other building and then you got all of the unique building and you also need money.

Seriously? One of the best pastas of all time, here you go:

EMOVE KEBAB remove kebab you are worst turk. you are the turk idiot you are the turk smell. return to croatioa. to our croatia cousins you may come our contry. you may live in the zoo….ahahahaha ,bosnia we will never forgeve you. cetnik rascal FUck but fuck asshole turk stink bosnia sqhipere shqipare..turk genocide best day of my life. take a bath of dead turk..ahahahahahBOSNIA WE WILL GET YOU!! do not forget ww2 .albiania we kill the king , albania return to your precious mongolia….hahahahaha idiot turk and bosnian smell so bad..wow i can smell it. REMOVE KEBAB FROM THE PREMISES. you will get caught. russia+usa+croatia+slovak=kill bosnia…you will ww2/ tupac alive in serbia, tupac making album of serbia . fast rap tupac serbia. we are rich and have gold now hahahaha ha because of tupac… you are ppoor stink turk… you live in a hovel hahahaha, you live in a yurt tupac alive numbr one #1 in serbia ….fuck the croatia ,..FUCKk ashol turks no good i spit? in the mouth eye of ur flag and contry. 2pac aliv and real strong wizard kill all the turk farm aminal with rap magic now we the serba rule .ape of the zoo presidant georg bush fukc the great satan and lay egg this egg hatch and bosnia wa;s born. stupid baby form the eggn give bak our clay we will crush u lik a skull of pig. serbia greattst countrey

skink a stink

HOLA CHOKTAW HISSSsss

>Almost done with my Teclis campaign
>haven't seen a single rogue army
>Have jackshit for influence since i haven't had a single event for the last 80 turns or so
It wasn't supposed to end like this

You have been DENIED access to the Halls of Athel Loren

>start a Tyrion campaign
>a rogue gobbo army spawns outside Lothern on turn 3

You shouldn't have gone for norsca as their economy is so shit they don't become a threat, you're suppoused to use influence to keep dwarfs happy, whilst miliatry ally the brettonians, who help so much in liberating NotAfirca

Drop tail skinks when?

There's this thing called nobles, how about you use them.

>be woodelf
>one day hear creaking noise
>oak of ages falls over
>roots totally gnawed off

checkmate

If Eltharion was in the game, those gobbos wouldn't have had the balls to come within a hundred miles of Ulthuan.

>lizard image
>posting the high elf pasta
dumb no-furs

>implying the AI cares about economy

Morathi is currently numero uno in almost all playthroughs ive done of the vortex. Will she be the number one threat(before archaon and his hardcore niggas arrive) in mortal empires or will it be someone else?

you can beat any norscan stack with just 2 archers and 2 spears, as long as they dont have more than 4 trolls

Better yet, you can "pacify" it instead of just burning it down. honga.net/totalwar/warhammer2/building.php?l=en&v=warhammer2&f=wh2_main_skv_clan_mors&chain=wh2_main_wef_oak_of_ages_occupied

> tfw you dominate the wood elfs so hard, you make their sacred tree your bitch

>for ze lady
>pic is reiksguard
SHAMEFUL! user declares war on OP. Allies who join the fight: fantasy grognards.

if you play on bitch boy difficulty maybe

Would you watch a buddy cop like movie with Vlad and Franz?

Hard is bitch boy?

Imagine being a High Elf grunt marching around the hot sticky jungle with Teclis, getting mauled by lizards, rats, and degenerates. Every step you take risks running into some sort of trap or wild animal, and Cumberbatch himself doesn't seem to know where the fuck he's going.

It's basically elf Vietnam.

How do I confederate lizardmen???? Even if I offer 100000 shekels they refuse. Is it Norsca mechanics where they only confed if you beat the shit out of them?

They wouldn't be buddy cops, Leoncour and Franz is a much more likely combo.

Are they miliatry allies?

Nah see that what makes the initial conflict. They hate eachother but are forced to work together to crack the car, eventually developing a mutual respect for eachother.

One, three region province is large enough to provide for all your military needs, provided you build the skink recruitment building, the terradon building, and the cold one building in minor settlements and not your capital, which you use for the saurus building, the stegadon building and the required support buildings so you can recruit who you want.

Ratbros, do you ever send your Grey Seers into melees?

90 hours into skaven campaigns and only now bothered to take a look at some of my lords' stats, and hot damn their weapon damage looks pretty sick even with no red upgrades.

But one of them eats the others friends for breakfast?

What's their melee attack look like?

Vlad betrayed Nagash in End Times to protect the Empire and was made an Elector Count. As long as they can kick Archaon back into the Chaos Wastes, everything will be fine

>play Skrolk
>140 turns in
>Last Defenders controls 70% of their continent
>Clan Mors has been struggling for the past 40 turns with 2 settlements but just won't give up
>can Confederate them but I know they're on the edge of being wiped out
Poor Queek

do you have military or defensive alliance with them? they wont confed if yo udo

Sounds like great comedic potential to me

RAPE AND PILLAGE ASUR CITIES!

Xth for confederating with the most powerful Rogue Faction in the game to cuck mommy's boy out of his bullshit prophecy

Rate my warlord

>speed over health when on a monstrous mount

Big, big mistake.

... But why though?

What lore would David Bowie use?

Heavens, next question.

Who is his favorite LL?

Is there any mod that reskin Druchii Sorceress ? they are fucking ugly desu...i want something like pic related

Gelt, next question.

I wanted something like this. They really missed the mark with the sorceress in-game, but mods will fix it eventually.

Heavens is a good choice, but so is Life.

Honestly, I think he could fit well with different ones throughout his career. Definitely had a Beasts phase.

What is his favorite unit?

>Mfw starting to develop a fetish for pale bitches

Arachnarok spider, how is that even a question?

Luminark

No more questions.

>implying raven girls aren't the fucking patrician choice

>No more questions.
Damn
At least Bowieposting is still comfy

He was the Goblin King.

What's the lore behind huge skulls carved in literally every second rock/mountain in the empire areas?

Chaos.

No, seriously.

nothing, they are there to show the level of corruption on your province.

>The absolute state of the New World in the ME map

What kind of magic do I have to do to have fucking defensive siege battles?
everytime tha someone attacks my cities the battle terrain is a fucking grassland

Is it just me or is the Faction selection kind of... weak?

I mean two monster races, two elf races. It's kind of disappointingly small. Two flavors of edgy teenage evil, one flavor of dickishly good and one flavor of admittedly cool dinosaur Aztecs that were poorly implemented.

Compared to the diversity of Total Warhammer 1's factions at launch, before DLC we had:

The Empire - kind of boring but a good all rounder faction with a chad leader.

Dwarfs - Grudgin' and reclaimin' butthurt midgets.

Greenskins - Fun faction with a fucking BEASTMODE leader.

Vampire Counts - Edgy but fun to play.

Same number of factions, but they all felt more interesting than what we had. Hope DLC remedies this. As of right now I'm kind of lukewarm on the factions whereas with the last game I thoroughly enjoyed them all.

How can vampire counts be edgy if they have the only detailed romance in all warhammer?

>Siege Gwakmol Crater
>The Skaven start their ritual
What a shame.

Because we started with Mannfred, not Vlad and Isabella, they were FreeLC weren't they?

The settlements has to have walls. I know it's fucking stupid.

The TWW2 factions are all more fleshed out than the vanilla TWW1 factions, so I don't really agree with that. It depends on personal preference.

Base Dwarf and Greenskin campaigns are pretty boring to be desu. Belegar & Skarsnik made those factions fun.

Was it Shogun 2 or Rome 2 that started this fuckery? Fucking let me build my settlements unrestricted REEEEEEEEEEE

I hear the personal preference thing, it's just that at launch there's no race I can gravitate to and say "These are my niggas" whereas at launch in Warhammer 1 they were all my niggas.

Build walls around your settlements and keep your units in town if they're around so they can't be attacked outside. Also, you might have to wait for them to attack you. If you engage them, I think it always happens outside. Not sure though.

>fleshed out
lol

To me it was the exact opposite. WH1 the only factions i found interesting were the Empire and maybe VC even though they lacked ranged units. I had zero interest in playing dwarfs or the green retards. With TW2 i'm genuinely interested in eventually playing all 4 factions. Just waiting for the ME patch before i give Skaven and Lizards a go.

True. But even then chaos warriors were the truly edgy faction. I do agree with you that the warhammer 2 races feel bland. Lizardmen particularly seem insanely boring. Maybe it's just the novelty of having the first warhammer total war game wearing off.

This is all we have so far

Yes I know it's a pic for ants

Pretty much. build the Defensive structures to level 2 on minor settlements to get walls. Province capitals should already start with walls but have small garrisons, so their equivalent of walls just beefs up who's defending while your army is away.

>chaos
>edgy
But they were capable of poking fun at themselves at least.

youtube.com/watch?v=kVE-mncKFsA

You always had to build walls in Total War games. It's just that in the earlier games walls either had their own buildslot like in Empire and Shogun 2 or it was tied to the settlement size itself like in Rome and Medieval 2.
In Rome 2, however while minor settlements didn't have walls, you could still fight IN THE FUCKING SETTLEMENT using the buildings and terrain to give you a defensive advantage.

I'm not entirely sure what causes Morathi to snowball this hard in all the games

Confederation. If I had to guess i'd say it's because she shits corruption everywhere which makes her neighbours more open to allying with non-Chaos factions. It really feels like a bug with them not understanding that she's the source.

Anyone know if the forced major faction war is when someone starts the 4th ritual or finishes it?

>It really feels like a bug with them not understanding that she's the source.

Such are the ways of the Cult of Pleasure.

Even though Chaos was dlc, most people owned it from day one and it was enough to really flesh out the faction options compared to WH2

The Dwarfs will become even bigger thanks to the added Southlands.

Not before they get a mount, no armour and shit defence will lead to them getting wrecked by anything that isn't skavenslave/zombie tier.

THIS IS THE FACE OF A KILLER