/ss13g/ spess station thirteen

I wasn't stuttering, something with the voice mod itself wasn't activating
I think I just need to play a job that has access to grenades to tinker with them a bit first, in all honesty

Where are all the bored janitor cyborgs?

There is a fundamental flaw with this game's combat system.
That's right: You slip one tile too early.
People start going horizontal a full two meters before stepping on the banana peel, then land directly on top. Your feet never even touched the peel.
You should slip one tile later, then the effect would make sense.

Set the trigger to a single letter.

You did attach the voice thingy to an igniter right?

>play CE
>singulo isn't charging the SMES for some reason
>Hey, chief, do you know how to set up the supermatter engine?
>say I know how to do it perfectly
>I don't
>a few minutes pass
>dragging the delaminating shard out of its chamber
>other engineer accidentally turned on the hyper murder laser that is aimed directly at the shard's airlock
>instantly die

This game's combat system is a fundamental flaw after fundamental flaw

to balance it is futile and left to the retards over at github

>using SMES
>Not wiring directly into the grid

Please stop playing CE. Honestly there's no excuse for this other than shittery wanting better access and gear.
I've been asking like three times a week if anyone wants to learn engineering or medbay, would seriously take all of thirty minutes to learn every engine and optimization for them.

I already stopped.

no, that's an intentional balance decision. slipping taking you to the next tile is what traitor peels and lube does, and we all know how well those chain together.

>keg nuke

I spent that entire round making meatbread that would instantly fatten anyone who dared to bite it.
Worth.

>attacked by the xeno npc
>no one knows what to do
>stole the keg nuke
that is the most vox round i have ever seen

I thought vox raiders were removed?

>capture vox
>captain immediately wants to valid them
meh

...

Why do people not chill the fuck out and listen to orders as raiders?
I can bully nuke ops into following orders, but not a group of raiders.

my sides, holy shit.

CAW

it's the glowing visors, gets em going

>you never got to blow up the bar in holy jihad

What the fuck is this picture?

>WE HAVE TO BE SNEAKY
>AI has already seen us
>one of us was dumb enough to die to a xeno before we even got to the station
>all we needed was the nuke
???

>Try to go into vault and open the safe
>AI spends first quarter of the round trying to stop you because "potent hams"
>Tattles to the captain the moment one shows up
>Captain spends the next 75% of the round trying to implant you with trackers and empty chems
>smelelel it's vox raiders

fat raccoon

...

...

laser turret-powered supermatter engine

>Potential harms
meme of the worst AIs

What the fuck happened with those two Vox near the Vault?
One of them was already on the ground, did they shoot eachother with chloral or something?

someone shot an ion at me which overloaded my thermo goggles or something
the other one got slept by a raider dart

Nice.
Well you almost got me with the EMP, all my weapons were unloaded. Unfortunately that was 6 steps away from a recharger.

unban 2hotdogs

unban NOW

>science tator tot
>make multiple bombs
>plan to detonate them after leading people to their location
>get voicechanger kit
>try to make station lynch someone by spamming woody got wood
>Cap comes and says hi
>"hi"
>"say Nick is that a voicechanger?"
>FUCK
>AI caught me
>drag all bombs out of the locker I was hiding them in infront of some office
>BITE ZA DUSTO
>nothing happens
>MFW
>"H-HA HA JUST A PRANK OFFICER!"
>"cut that out it's not funny"
>spaghetti spilling everywhere
>drag into other crowd
>"P-PRANKED BABY!"
>I am 99% spaghetti now
>it's all over now
>make one last bomb
>run into crowd during adminbus
>yell fuck and hit valve
>blow up admin bus
Fuck this I should have stuck with SME shards.

who in science wasn't traitor? geez

I made memeloafs and they really arent worth the effort it turns out.
Don't even instantly make you fat. What a ripoff.
Inheritance buff when?

Who got banned?

ss13.moe/index.php/bans#jbans

AI confirmed for gay

>medical doctor sleepystabs some guy
>literally the first thing the AI says after he is cuffed is "HE IS PROBABLE HARM NOW HE HARMED A HUMAN ONCE"
>but AI the sleep'd guy wasn't harmed
>WELL HE COULD HAVE USED MORE CHLORAL AND HE COULD HAVE BEEN HARMED FROM IT SO THE DOCTOR IS STILL PROBABLE HARMZ
>but AI it was sleep toxin it doesn't overdose
>WELL BUT HE WAS PROBABLY GOING TO HARM HIM HE PROBABLE HAAARM!!
Christ.

AI was fixing to get itself forcibly removed.

>tfw no GayI

A MoMMI got daybanned from engineering for messing up the containment field.

>be botanist ling
>no other lings
>lol, no maint access, gotta suck people right in the open as they scream for help over comms as the AI watches the whole thing like it's its brazzers subscription
>spend about 40 minutes setting up a plant combo that isn't shit to antagonize the crew with for about 5 minutes until my inevitable lynching
>singulo get loosed before I finish
>try to suicide bomb with the dissassembled TTV at the end, but a relative walked in and started talking to me irl
>I realize I'm fucking hyperventilating and shivering from all the stress irl and try to tell them I'll talk in a second, takes them forever to fucking leave
>turn around and realize I got toolboxed to death
I don't even know why I turn antag on half the time, I'm the one getting antagonized the worst on my antag roll.

>no maint access
False walls are great for this. Sometimes, if the pop is low enough to avoid awkward questions, I'll make a bunch of false walls into maint even as a non-antag.

>Carp smashes a maint window
>Head to fix it
>;HELP NO AIR ANYWHERE
>Central halls and departments are venting all across the station
>Find false walls literally fucking everywhere from that maint
Don't do that.

damn, that's actually good advice. I gotta keep this in mind.

Point taken. But if I'm a vamp/ling I won't give a fuck.

>geneticist traitor
>decide to finally go for powers for once
>doing the whole genetics thing, get xray and telekinesis after a short while
>lucky AF
>singuloose, god fucking damnit
>begrudgingly get greentext objective and kill two random dudes on the shuttle with telekenesis and get away with it
that couldve been a legendary traitor round.

I toolboxed you to death with my mind powers. I wanted to see if I could set off your bomb with telekenesis. No luck

That was simultaneously the most fucked round and the most boring round.

>centcomm doesn't respond to urgent faxes or urgent direct messages all shift
>but they still give the clown a HONK

Clown couldnt get it. It was part of the ruse. He was forever bullied that round and I wouldnt let him die.

Nick is the one that grabbed it.

>local squid is fucking invincible

>try to call an ERT
>nothing

Do cumulative shields have any effect?

Yes.

>Captain spends the next 75% of the round trying to implant you with trackers and empty chems

this is my nightmare

>Trying to process a perma prisoner
>HoS/Captain/some other authority prisoner asks to process him instead, sticks him full of a tracker with an ID of 1 and and empty chem implant

Why do people with no knowledge of the game play headroles? I know some of you shitters are here, most of you gets banned but some manage to slip and learn enough engineering/medbay/science to pretend you know shit.
So, what are you thinking when you join the game for the first time and pick CE and then sinugloose/delaminate the shard/blow up AME/plasma flood?

I was losing my mind being able to hold all the toolboxes then I stroll on by this guy and just lose it.

FYI for those who don't know: False walls allow air to pass through, EVEN IF THEY ARE CLOSED.

>blow up AME
How could this happen? The only way I have ever seen it blow up is if the shard delaminates.

Too big fuel dosage

>build AME console in a hallway/medbay/outside the brig
>slam an antimatter jar in it
>crank it up to the max
>run
Would this work?

Dunning Kruger
They do not know how much they don't know.

Okay, instead of complaining, I will suck it up and write this. Here is how you use Tracking and Chemical implants:

Tracking: Take the implant case and put it inside the implant pad. Activate the implant pad by clicking on it. You set the ID to a number from 1-99. All that matters is that the number is unique, as the Prisoner Management Console only sees the number when displaying Trackers. One easy way to avoid confusion is to put the ID number for a prisoner's Tracker in their Security Records. You then remove the glass case by clicking on the implant pad that's in one hand with an empty hand.

Chemical: IMPORTANT: ALL CHEMICAL IMPLANTS START EMPTY. YOU HAVE TO FILL THEM WITH CHEMICALS. Every brig except Packed has an Execution room with Lethal Syringes. Lethal Syringes are just large syringes with 50 units of Chloral in them. Use the syringes on the Chemical Implant glass case to fill them with Chloral. You don't need to set any ID number with this one; it displays their name on the Prisoner Management Console.

>I think I just need to play a job that has access to grenades to tinker with them a bit first, in all honesty
>Test server
byond://ss13.moe:1337

I play captain because I don't know how to do anything. I order people to do everything for me instead.

Shame it's veegee and not bay so nobody gives a shit about captain or chain of command at all

>I'm a shitter, so everyone else is too
Explain why almost everyone immediately does what I tell them to. :)

There is literally nothing wrong with ordering glubbs as security.

>I play captain because I don't know how to do anything. I order people to do everything for me instead
>I'm not a shitter
Umm try again sweetie

Yeah. I'm not.

/me nods

So often I ask the AI to fix the brig airlocks after a Greytide virus, it ignores me(?)/doesn't hear me/is braindead.

On the bright side, fixing Brig Airlocks is easy once you figure out what's wrong unless you're on Bagel which is the only Brig with randomized wires. Pulse the Bolt wire so the bolts go up, screwdriver the panel shut, and close the door with your ID.

he didn't even say he wasn't a shitter tho, he only said you were

>MoMMI nerds not being able to aim when playing sports
I had no idea MoMMI roleplay was a thing until now, thank you, OP.

Oh also:

You know what's more effective than taking the soap out of perma? (As they can just mass produce bananas and soap via botany). Taking the SHOES out of perma, and putting them in perma barefoot. Your movement is slightly slower without shoes, and unlike shackles which can be removed, they can't remedy their shoeless state (Surprisingly, you can't make shoes in the bio generator.)

No, but you can make sandals out of planks.

Perma prisoners can't have wood planks because they have no tools with which to cut logs into planks.

As a tangent: NEVER give perma prisoners wood planks. They can build barricades to block off the cameras/the entrance

>not straight jacket muzzle blindfolding walling off perma prisoners for the maximum shitcurity experience

do it right

>AI watching prisoner to make sure he doesn't get executed
>sneakily ready lethal chem implant
>put it in him
>put him in solitary
>wall it off

You joke, but you actually do have a reasonable amount of freedom of discernment when it comes to solitary'ing prisoners pre-emptively.

>NOTE : Solitary confinement can be used at any time that Perma can be used, but you should have some reason to put them there instead of in Perma. Anyone space capable (plasmamen, mutated individuals, borer hives), dangerous to other inmates, likely to incite an organized breakout, or likely to abuse the radios present in Perma should go in solitary.

This means you can suffer-not the perma plasmaman and the LAW 2 RELEASE ME clowns (if the Captain loves Asimov); and just stick them in Solitary. If you want to be accommodating, you can always wrench the arcade machine in there so they have a bit to do before they go braindead. (Don't abuse this though, or Admins will remember Space Law exists and edit it.)

How to stealthily execute under Asimov feat. Acting Cap HoP that won't change the Silicon's Laws

1. Strip prisoner naked so they don't appear on suit sensors. Orange jumpsuits always have maxed sensors.
2. Execute them in Execution where there are no cameras and close an orange locker on them so Borgs can't run interference.
3. Drag their corpse to the Secure Armory and stuff their body in the Secure Armory Locker, a locked locker which is bolted down so borgs can't steal it.

Congratulations! You have now stealthily executed a prisoner. If the AI asks where they are, deflect by feigning concern and asking if they're on suit sensors.

Right, there's only so many things with the CHOPWOOD flag.
Interestingly: ling armblades do, energy swords do, but energy axes don't.

That doesn't work if the AI is already watching you, then you'll just get HUMAN HARM I HAVE HIM LOCKED DOWN STOP HIM the second you step into the execution room.
You need to be really tricky about it.

>have one of the security disposals piped into space
>break all the interior windows in perma and remove the shards so that they get ZAS'd into a grille when they try to bust out
>put a sheet over the solitary bed, have a remote controlled polyacid grenade under that sheet
>script telecomms so it filters human to vox so people think the AI is hijacked and kill it
>activate your signaler that you placed on the AI core APC before going into execution
>fill perma with tons of welding tanks, have one with an igniter and signaler attached in the bathroom
>put the prisoner in target practice and shoot at him with the practice laser, change to real lasers after the AI thinks its just a joke and goes away
>make a device in space that pumps a plasma canister into perma, hide a lit lighter somewhere in the room.
>make a bomb, place it in an actual traitor's backpack, say he made it. put the actual traitor in perma with the prisoner. ""forget"" to remove the bomb from his backpack
>build a ragecage in the bar so that the heads add a cage-friendly law, build a ragecage in perma after that and fight the prisoner
>change the crew manifest so that the prisoner comes up as a gray. hide his true human body with a mask, helmet, suit, and gloves at all times
>do something earlier in the round that the AI has no choice but to do something questionably rulebreaking to resolve, ahelp that before going in execution then kill the prisoner while the AI talks with the admins
>switch the prisoners UI and UE with the mime's, give him a radio

I just tried to read that as a single greentext story as opposed to a series of suggestions. Thanks for the laugh

While these are all good, that last one just seems like it would get the real mime killed. I would like to add
>Take headset, bucklecuff, give near empty internals

Sadly, this wont work if the AI looks at the CMC, which most do.

Is turning a human into a monkey considered human harm?

I am pretty sure removing someone's "humanity" without consent counts as harm.