Judaism general

how to marry largest breasted jewess qt and move to tel aviv to run small falafel stand as a shegetz?

Literally only Hasidic and Poltards use the word goyim

And hasidics can't use computers

Stay in your containment board retard

>small falafel stand
How are you gonna make a living running a paltry sized falafel stand

You know falafels sell for like 3 dollars a pop right

You're gonna have to sell a thousand falafels a week to survive

>because why bother teaching the non-chosen?
I'm not trying to proselytize Judaism. I'm trying to foster quality discussion surrounding Jewish history and humanities.

What are your guys' thoughts on this Orthodox Rabbi and his videos?

youtube.com/watch?v=HDKKiv5nNsc

Also does anyone have suggestions for someone that wants to learn about Sephardic Jews from Spain/Latin America/North Africa and their history/traditions?

Be rich.

Not being antisemitic, this is just the case for women everywhere.

>Literally only Hasidic use goyim
>implying
that's actually not entirely true

You're right, hasidics And Poltards like they said

>The seven Noahide laws as traditionally enumerated are:
>1. Do not deny God.
>2. Do not blaspheme God.
>3. Do not murder.
>4. Do not engage in illicit sexual relations.
>5. Do not steal.
>6. Do not eat from a live animal.
>7. Establish courts/legal system to ensure obedience to the law.

>According to Jewish law, non-Jews are not obligated to convert to Judaism, but they are required to observe the Seven Laws of Noah.

>The Talmud lists the punishment for blaspheming the Ineffable Name of God as death.

You don't have to be a Jew, but you should acknowledge the reality of G-d for your own sake if nothing else.

t. achmed

Literally what?

well in Texas you can't be atheist and run for office either, Christian right isn't that different than Muslim right

He's saying people HAVING to acknowledge god is very radical in nature, a practice only found in certain Arabic countries ala UAE, SA, Qatar, Omen, etc

A close examination of jewish "accomplishment" will reveal that most of it is no accomplishment at all, and what is was plagiarized. Einstein in particular in this case plagiarized most of his work. There are no great jewish composers, no great jewish masters of architecture, painting, or sculpting. The number of jewish philosopher's that are worth reading can be counted on one hand, and even then they are all half rate compared to their non jewish counter parts.

What jews excel at is deception, finance, and word play. The truth is foreign to them.

Einstein did not only steal most of his work, but his theories were also fundamentally wrong, and have pushed the science in an entirely wrong direction. Was it just incompetence, or a pure coincidence remains to be seen.

I'm not saying you should believe in G-d lest some kind of Jewish radicals behead you. I'm saying you should believe in G-d to be righteous.

>a practice only found in certain Arabic countries ala UAE, SA, Qatar, Omen, etc
It's also worth noting that historically no gentile has ever been executed for violating the Noahide laws.

> and even then they are all half rate compared to their non jewish counter parts.
Now this is just a blatant lie.

>posts a literally who

autism, enjoy your ban

Britain also believed they're the world's moral authority, so idk man

>Wittgenstein is a literally who
Leave this board and never return.

so this is the mother fucker who's the reason why I almost failed math...

Whatever, guess I should've studied harder

that's hitlers child mate, a jewish philospher

that's hitler's childhood mate, jewish philospher

>no gentile has ever been executed for violating the Noahide laws.
Jews just slaughter any gentile that falls into their power anyway. People only think of jews as harmless and peaceful because historically they've been too weak to act on their religious decrees. But when they do gain some power they pull some genocidal shit like the Kitos War.

>ny gentile that falls into their power anyway
wtf does this even mean you homeschooled retard
God you're embarrassing, idk why Veeky Forums get's all the fucking weirdos and not infinichan instead

Did nothing wrong.

The Messianic age ain't free. The liberation of Israel gotta be littered with the blood of imperialists.

jews dindu nuffin! removed from 109 locations in history cuz gentile racis

>nail the real messiah to the cross
>chimp out and massacre people in the name of a fake messiah
>get booted out by the romans and the temple destroyed
>hide in some Babylonian sewer and write a book based on your made up teachings, to try and peel back followers from those Christians and their cool new book

>almost wiped out during the third revolt against rome
>almost wiped out during the holocaust
>still believe in god

>109 locations
Odd, you retards used to claim it was 110 country's

Please tell me more about your 5th grader ms paint jpgs, I really do want to see a (USER WAS BANNED FOR THIS POST) on Veeky Forums

>>nail the real messiah to the cross
Well you see Jesus wasn't the messiah.
>>chimp out and massacre people in the name of a fake messiah
Yeah, he wasn't the messiah either but he gave it a decent shot.

they control the world financially pal

i'd believe in god if i was born jew

That's precisely the reason to believe in G-d.

You can only get almost annihilated so many times before you have to admit something supernatural must be going on here.

here's a source by Jews eretzyisroel.org/~jkatz/expulsions.html

I thought you guys claim to have been oppressed a lot? Don't Jews always go on about how much they've been historically persecuted? But in a different context suddenly you claim the opposite...

For how long, about a century? Jews have only had Israel for less than 70 years, sure they may have the Americans backing them up, but they had the Romans backing them up 2000 years ago and they had to ruin it then, too.
The Romans ended up kneeling before Christ and you will too.

>but they had the Romans backing them up 2000 years ago
I think that's quite the opposite of what the Romans were doing in Judea 2000 years ago.

The Jews were in a good position. They had the protection of Rome, they didn't have to worship the Emperor, they got their temple maintained, they even had the Romans execute people the Sanhedrin condemned to death. Then they fucked it all up because some greek guy sacrificed a chicken in the street (which modern jews do now, anyway)

I suppose this is as good a place as any to ask:
When did Judaism become the dominant religion in Israel?
Clearly the Phoenicians had pagan/ multiple gods for a while, but by the time of the Romans they were extensively Jewish. Someone explain this to me.

>They had the protection of Rome,
I don't think occupation is the same thing as protection, pal. It's not like the West Bank has the "protection" of Israel.

>, they got their temple maintained,
Except when the Romans destroyed it.

read the bible

>Except when the Romans destroyed it.
I mean before they threw their little jew tanty against the Romans.

In the crudest sense possible around the 9th century BC.

By occupying them, right.

To return to the earlier comparison this is like saying Israel is maintaining the Dome of the Rock.

I propose that the Jewish community takes possession of the old testament entirely as a 'Great Jewish Work of Literature' and we rename the OT the Jewish Testament.

The NT should also thus be named the Christian Testament to show the doctrinal and philosophical differences.

That's basically already the understanding. Except among Christian fundamentalists who care more about the OT than the rest of the bible.

What are the best arguments for God existence?

Secondly for all the goys do the noahide laws mean that most christians, mormons and even muslims will get into heaven or do we have to abstain from all spirituality/ not attend any church or synagoge

Only if the Jewish community renames themselves the "Prophet-Killing Devil-Sons"

>Secondly for all the goys do the noahide laws mean that most christians, mormons and even muslims will get into heaven
Yes, as long as you are a righteous person G-d will reward you for your deeds.

>orthodox
Not even the strictest jews are real orthodox. Our rich culture has been plagued by degeneracy far longer than any gentile country.

>Yes, as long as you are a righteous person G-d will reward you for your deeds.

Is our heaven the same as yours?

Jews spend very little time worrying about heaven and in a sense are very this-worldly. There is no universally agreed upon Jewish concept of the afterlife. Here's an article about it.

haaretz.com/jewish/features/.premium-1.638100

What are your thoughts on the arguments made by an orthodox christian poster against judaism and the illegitimacy of its connection to the OT

pastebin.com/V7rpLJSZ

This is not a bait post or anything, but what are some recommended textual sources of Jewish humor? I've heard some funny rabbinic stories, and even modern comedians rely heavily on playfully deprecating Jewish culture. What are some texts that collect these stories, or whatnot?

>Well Jewish history is extremely long and spans basically the entire planet.

So do Jews just pretend all the history / religions they based theirs off of not exist? Or is the the same as the Muslims where it's all
>Just Gods way of revealing himself to man kind because we were not ready

>See post
>Open link
>CONSTANTINETHESINNER
Of course it was Constantine.

I think he/she/it is making a lot of very flimsy arguments. But to give credit they do somewhat acknowledge this in the latter half when they explicitly point out arguments that are grounded in a Christian perspective.

The Seinfeld boxset.

I'm not sure what you're asking.

is there a good source of counter arguments for these claims?

I will write a counter-post and post it when I'm done.

thanks, argumentation seems to be onesided here with only christians having researched arguments

Like, if you ask a christian priest about dinosaur bones they will say: "It's all a trick to test your faith"

Or if you ask about the various pre-Jew religions like the egyptian gods they say "They believed in the same God, but just used different words", Or if you ask the muslims about there ancestors being followers of Zoroastrianism "They were just tricked by the devil".

What is the Jewish explanation for history before the Jews?

Jews don't exactly believe that Judaism was the original religion. Unlike Muslims who hold that Adam and all the prophets since Abraham were Muslims. Even very strictly speaking Abraham wasn't a Jew per se.

Jews in any practical context only emerged when Moses came down from Mount Sinai with his revelation and covenant from G-d. This is what truly marks the birth of Judaism, rather than it simply always existing. This was the moment when the Israelites were elevated into being the chosen people.tasked with restoring order as G-d had originally intended prior to the transgressions of earlier history.

Very interesting and well written.

I recently started learning Hebrew. How hard is it compared to other languages? Doesn't seem that hard so far tb.h

So can you become jewish, or do you have to be born jewish?

You all need to read this.

balderexlibris.com/index.php?post/Jones-Eugene-Michael-The-Jewish-Revolutionary-Spirit-and-Its-Impact-on-World-History

Here's the first part of the response to Constantine's FAQ in case anyone thinks I won't deliver because this might take some time.

pastebin.com/xKvaBNfE

You can become Jewish and basically every Jew alive today is descended probably mostly from converts.

jews believe they're descended from the 13 tribes of israel, or something

>You can become Jewish
Tell me more about this.
Is there some sort of fee involved?
Do adults have to do all the religious ceremonies kids had to do as they grow up?

Before I start reading, why do you leave out the o in God? Is that an autistic tic or something?

They are, they just also happen to be descended from converts. And if I'm not mistaken by converting you're officially part of the tribe.

Not exactly, you basically just need to be able to pay your own way in regards to education and certain ceremonies. You also need to pay $100 to the Rabbinical council of America which is kind of funny come to think of it.

>Do adults have to do all the religious ceremonies kids had to do as they grow up?
You don't have to. But a lot of adults (not just converts) who didn't get an opportunity to have a Bar Mitzvah can and will do so in later life.

It's a sin to erase the name of G-d so Jews generally just drop the O constantly so you never have to risk accidentally destroying it.

Also letting this thread 404 would be a sin otherwise.

Ah, that is a clever circumvention. 10 points to the Jews.

>pay your own way in regards to education and certain ceremonies
What education are you talking about?
Like college?

Also what are these ceremonies and how much are they?

>Rabbinical council of America
Is this the Jewish version of the vatican?

B8

but "G-d" means god, and therefore is a name for god, which is destined to be a erased.

>Like college?
More like having a tutor. To convert you need to be reasonably well acquainted with Jewish law, the Tanakh and Hebrew.

>Also what are these ceremonies and how much are they?
The exact price depends on your area I'd assume. But if you're a dude you need to pay for your circumcision, everyone has to pay for the mikvah and administrative expenses to the Beit Din.

>Is this the Jewish version of the vatican?
Not really. Probably more akin to those nationwide Sharia councils Muslims have in the UK than to the Vatican.

But it's not a proper name, or even a proper word for that matter, at face value it's basically unpronounceable.

Really it's just a suggestion of another word that's actually a name for G-d. Without being informed by the reference to the actual word it would be nonsensical.

Very interesting.
Unrelated but are Jews required to be friendly, or at least talk with other Jews?

My mother looks Jewish (shes Italian) and whenever she would go to the community center (primarily Jewish) everyone would try to start conversations with her like they knew her on a personal level.

Just wondering if that's a Jew thing or just something else.

Do Sephardi and Ashkenazi get along?

>Unrelated but are Jews required to be friendly, or at least talk with other Jews?
Jews are expected to be friendly in general. You'll notice in the old testament that they make a very big deal about being kind to strangers.

Although I think it might be more a cultural thing by virtue of Jews being kind of insular and historically living in close communities. Especially since lots of Jewish communities are infamously rude to gentiles.

There are cultural divisions but they don't tend to be unfriendly. Reportedly, though, there was considerable malice in the early days of the State of Israel between the Ashkenazi (who had suffered the brunt of the Holocaust) and the Mizrahi (many of whom simply fled from other Middle Eastern countries)

Inter-Jewish tensions are very much case of haves and have nots above all else. Case in point the group the ruling Israeli Ashkenazim have a problem with most after Arabs is probably Haredi Jews (who are also usually Ashkenazi) who are poor as fuck.

clever.
Is it a sin to browse Veeky Forums?

Yea I'm confused about this too. I was under the impression (I heard from an Orthodox Jew) that you couldn't use electronics on the Sabbath as a Jew, which I thought was today. So would a Jew be sinning by browsing Veeky Forums today?

I don't think so as long as you yourself don't say anything sinful.

The Sabbath ends at nightfall on Saturday.

What is going on in Israel with Zionists and Orthodox?

The way I understand it:
Jews were allowed to skip out on army service if they became Orthodox or something?
Most people became Orthodox instead of going into the army.
Then the Zionists tried to force the Orthodox to serve, but they got voted out of power?

I have not really been following it.
Could you fill me in?

What is the Jewish stance on Anime?