/twg/ - Total War General

No this is the thread where we love to respond to bait posts and hate everything and anything made by creative assembly

...

Is there any greater thrill than purging the Marienburger?

>rome2 dlc
>ireland
>china
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH ROME

grilling burgers probably

...

>TWC

Purging Altdorf

Explain this meme image to me

Remember the good old days, /twg/?

Back when we still had our souls?

Oh did somebody remember how twc complaining about wrong sandals in Rome 2?
Truly it was a golden age

>VERY EXPENSIVE SPEARMANII

I heard them say this

Looks like a building for sky burials.

It's where rather than burying you or burning you, your corpse is left out in a place where birds of prey can eat at it. It's a cultural thing. Gives the impression that your loved one is being returned to nature.

>Tomb Kings still not announced

CA took away too much my friend.

Working for me. I can hear them scream 'TRIARII!" just fine.

How would you guys feel if CA did Total War: Alexander?
Factions would be
>Alexander/Philip II's Macedonia
>Greece
>Persia
>Egypt
>Mauria, India
Later we could get Ethiopia/Nubians, Italians, Arabians, and Afghans.
The map would basically be the eastern third of the R2 map. Here is the kicker. India. We include all of India and central Asia. And maybe, if you really wanted to push it... China.
You could lead Alexander to greater heights than even he achieved, lead the Pharaoh's in a pre-Ptolemaic Egypt, etc.

Imma just gonna post old Rome II pre-release memes until I fall asleep.

>Darren had to leave CA because he was caught repeatedly masturbating at his desk and trying to install peep cameras in the women's bathrooms
So, the truth finally comes out.

Chadmasters of Hoeth

>The map would basically be the eastern third of the R2 map

No deal.

I want to make the Mediterranean into a Macedonian lake.

>tfw you establish your first empire on the bones of your enemies

good luck pushing this meme, i couldn't even get goblin grace off the ground feelsbadman

That's fair, but my priority lies to the east, and demanding both is greedy

>the 'Empire' of Antiochus the Not So Great

WHERE IS MY VIRGIN FANTASYKEK AND CHAD HISTMAN MEME

i think it's other way around, mate

>it's a TWC fags argues over sandals and pontus episode all over again
Only good thing about that dlc annoucement

...

Were they ever really good?

KHALIDA TENTACLE-RAPING ISABELLA WHEN??

Does this look like a chad to you? Pathetic fucking autistic histfaggots

...

>2015
Oh, you sweet summer child.

What's old is new again.

I'll admit, these days were good.

This Mousillon Duke guy seems a little suspicious. Am I just imagining things?

Best not worry about it, the ways of our betters are beyond our petty peasant brains.

pic related

literally /ourguy/

>hating on the Red Duke
>the Carpet Bomber
>the Araby Annihilator
>the Camel Killing Crusader
>the Elephant Extinctor
>the Martek Mutilator
>the Sultan Slaughter
>the Genie Bottler
>the Jaffar Jouster
>hating on Based El Syf, the Red Duke

It better not be because of his skin condition. Man is a fucking legend.

He said I should ally with him and take Sylvania into my bosom as part of the Empire. But Sylvania is filled with undead! Why would he want me to do that? He also keeps saying things about 'repaying my kindness... in time' with an ominous pause like that.

It's just a bit strange bros.

>But Sylvania is filled with undead!

Don't give me this fake news. We all know that Sylvania is a loyal Imperial province, full of happy Imperial subjects.

>saying things about 'repaying my kindness... in time'
His generosity in making sure the peasants under his care are well seasone- I mean taken care of means he is light on funds at the moment. Is there no more kindhearted soul.

So what major vampire characters are nice to Humans?

>10/15/15
>Tomb Kings still not announced

Wow

Vlad

Any others? Besides I was under the impression it was more that he realized being evil for evils sake was a waste of time.

>started a huge war
>killed a ton of humans
>all because he thinks he deserves the throne
yeah right, vlad is a cunt

Isabella invites me to dinner all the time

I guess the Lahmians are nice to their chosen fucktoys. And uh, the Strigoi are canonically pretty nice to the Strigany until they inevitably go insane. And that's pretty much it.

If you want nice undead masters you have to look to the Tomb Kings.

Vlad wasn't the worst but he still completely regarded humans as cattle and he and Isabella slaughtered among the humans that served them as they liked.

Nice as the farmer that takes care of beef cattle.

>nice to humans

The fuck is with all this pro-undead propaganda?

Apparently, due to some weird hole in time, people have been seen asking for Tomb Kings DLC as far back as 2009.

>yfw a mortal tells you to be 'nice' to your livestock

Are large units naturally resistant to magic or am I just imagining things? They don't seem to be taking much magic damage for me.

Iam pretty sure people were asking to add lizardmen to the original map before wood elves came out.
Logic and common sense is not an obstacle for some people

They were probably multiplayerfags.

CA WTF AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Depends on the spell. Some are better against groups and not so good against single targets.

Use magic to kill infantry blobs, use arrow spam or spear walls to kill large units.

tomb kangs tomorrow

t. ca employee

Brets when though?

I need to take a quick sippy from the grail.

why? we didn't even have warhammer back then

I wish anti large artillery did more damage. 2 units of anti large cannons should easily be able to kill a giant or some other fuckhuge thing but it barely chews through half of it's hp by the time it can get to your line.

We actually did. Mod for Medieval 2. We probably would never have gotten Warhammer Total War if not for that mod.

I dunno. I don't really like the idea of a pair of cannons sniping my expensive units just because I'm still marching down the field.

Giants are a pain, but trust me. They turn into pincushions real easy.

>Skaven
>Fighting lizards
>Constantly charging their back line with mouse-hulks
>Nuthin
>Lost about three lives
>Constatly shooting them with green flames
>Nothin but knocked over lizards
>Use spells
>Triangle Breath
>They all get back up
>Mass poison
>No routing, still going strong
>My fucking slingers are getting more kills
>Mass Enrage
>Fighting to the death with full fucking health
>My mice start to mass route
>BASIC FUCKING MACE UNITS

Skaven are suffering

>t. one of the braindead BoteT devs
Your mod is fucking trash and team is pure cancer

Dude. I've never even installed the mod. I just said it existed.

Minotaurs are still the most fun unit.

personally I think they should one or two shot monsters because it is hard to imagine anything surviving getting hit by a 12 pound ball of iron hurling through your face, but they should be really inaccurate so it is damn near impossible to hit them at range. Stuff like that would encourage skirmishing as well to try to take out the artillery before moving your army into its accuracy zone.

>I dunno. I don't really like the idea of a pair of cannons sniping my expensive units just because I'm still marching down the field.
kek, never play the tabletop game

It's pretty bad, and devs are very arrogant

>personally I think they should one or two shot monsters because it is hard to imagine anything surviving getting hit by a 12 pound ball of iron hurling through your face

Well, you wouldn't survive a knife to the gut either, but most infantry dudes can survive several. Makes them a real bitch to chase down.

>Stuff like that would encourage skirmishing as well to try to take out the artillery before moving your army into its accuracy zone.

Actually it'd probably encourage even worse hellcannon spam. And think of factions that have limited unit choices. Skaven ain't got no cavalry, and Vamp Counts ain't got no archers.

Artillery should be used to bleed the enemy before they reach your battlelines, not win the battle before it starts.

If I lose a battle in a tabletop game, I get the army points back next time I play.

The gold I saved so hard in nu-Total War? I ain't getting that fucking shit back. There's virtually no economic buildings anymore. That fucking giant cost me god knows how much gold.

>Calling best Med2 mod trash
Here is your 1 bad boy point.

Sorry, but that is neither a doomwheel, nor a dinosaur, nor a rocket battery.

What are you a fucking scrub?? Or is figuring out the skaven powerhouse too much for you? Mass your slaves and clanrats to hold the line. spawn units into the line or flank, use artillery to flank, use stormvermin to do what their name suggests and storm their lines and walls where your slaves are most desperate. Put some plague monks in their ass. Put a doomwheel in their ass. if this is campaign you're bitchin about get t3 walls. Now those rats you spawn for free are suicide bombers. Dinosaurs love eating rats. Just give them too many rats to eat and you'll do fine. Always remember that no matter the foe you face, you always have more rats. Get better at killing or die. Rat in rat out. Get gud

I didn't say Third age was trash
Please remove that bad boy point

How would you fix siege battles, /twg/?

Oh man, that sounded like you were making a good point for a moment, but then suddenly I heard someone scream "THERE IS A MUSK OF FEAR!"

NOT MY FIGHT FIGHT!

A SHAMEFUL DISPLAY!

Removed completely and replaced with with QTE's.

And QT's.

None of those beat the happy cows. All are valid fun units however.

based

Copy paste them from Attila

Skaven love to run. Just run them back into the fight. It works. Its a grindhouse but the funny thing is that you always have more rats. moral monitoring is a big part of playing skaven. They will run. Make them run back in.

Bitch nigga I'm doing exactly that. Lizards are a menace, they can't be routed and their "out of control" mode lasts for half the round and my DPS is largely pointless at that point, they eat everything up.

>still no araby
>not a single black person in total warhammer games
>no tomb kings
>newest upcomming release is about italian fascists

CA is heading towards the dangerous path of White Supremacy.

Woah so this is power of Historical TW.

>Loremasters of Hoeth Quarrelers ( Shuriken) Lore of Heavens AP Dual Weapons

Black guy here, I just play lizards or rats. Its cool, don't sweat it.