Applying for a job

>Applying for a job
>They might have random drug screening
>Immediately stop applying

I guess some of the world is still stuck in archaic sentiments about marijuana. It's a shame that it's so hard to find a more enlightened workplace.

What's the easiest mental illness to fake for disability?

Other urls found in this thread:

dothan.craigslist.org/apa/6057135780.html
irs.com/articles/2016-federal-tax-rates-personal-exemptions-and-standard-deductions.)
samhsa.gov/data/sites/default/files/report_1959/ShortReport-1959.html
twitter.com/SFWRedditVideos

Just stop doing drugs you fucking degenerate

I used to smoke a lot of weed and I stopped and haven't felt better. Do you realize how retarded it is to change your entire live over weed?

At least use steroids and stimulants that will actually help your life and increase productivity

Are you addicted to the devil's lettuce?
Why not just stop smoking to get a job, it's not like you're addicted or anything, right?

Life is boring without weed. It's like chicken without seasoning - not worth it.

I'm not addicted. Being sober is just gay

"Being sober is just gay"

Yea you don't deserve the job with that attitude

well you're clearly underage

>successful businessman
>hiring some pothead fuckup
pick one.

Stay unemployed then. Hope the weed was worth it.

If Mr. Scheckelstein doesn't want to hire somebody just because they use A PLANT, then NEETbux are clearly a better option.

if you can't beat them, join em. convert to judaism! its the only solution

You can almost smell the gov in these two. He'll live longer than you two spleen rupturing tight-asses I can almost assure you, and even the government bemoaned they couldn't get enough "hackers" due to their own weed laws. BTW, the internet you help patrol was practically invented by the use of acid. An illegal substance.

Depends upon your state's laws, and the way governments are giving up freedom for control these days a little relaxation is in order I'd say. So, yeah, go for that different job like you said, but also make sure you are still a functioning human like Tweedledee and Pal over here seem to worry about.

>muh marijuana
are you literally a teenager? you'll grow out of it

Thank you! I'm glad somebody on this Cambodian Paragliding Enthusiast Board has some sense

Tell that to the CEO of Starbucks.

what are you even talking about? post a link to an article or something

Life doesn't have a link.

>Life is boring without weed. It's like chicken without seasoning - not worth it.

That's because you have a dependency and use weed as a crutch to make you happy because your life is shit. Why don't you put the bong down and make your life enjoyable to live instead of getting high and starting at the wall for the next 20 years.

not an argument.

epitome of a stoner argument....

>3 posts by this ID

Are you triggered because other people enjoy something you don't? Maybe you need to stop using anger as a crutch. See

>poor impulse control
>needs to be high to feel normal
>wants to mooch off taxpayers by faking a disability
>zero ambition
>will probably blurt out something antisemitic to my client
I'm not seeing an upside. You present a risk to any business dumb enough to take a chance on you, and you offer nothing in return.

if you're going to imply that the CEO of starbucks is a recreational pot smoker you should be able to back it up

Just move to a recreation state

>I'm not addicted to weed I swear!
>it's just a plant guys, no big deal

>Decides to fake a mental illness to go on welfare over the plant

Ah yes. Clearly not an addiction at all.

Stoners would inhale Zyklon B if you told them it would get them high.

If you don't take a handout because of "muh honor," then you're fucking retarded. Life's not fair and you're making the choice to make it hard on yourself. You may think that I'm an addict, but I think you're an absolute buffoon

Not everything is.

Why do you guys feel military? If so, why the fuck would a military branch of the gov be on Biz lmao

If you wanted potential persuasion not all jobs are that strict, most aren't, and like I mentioned earlier it is a nice way to distress. Go talk to your NSA and CIA pal's about people's "crutches", because they will enlighten you about how humanity is programmable and predictable lot. Operant conditioning, and trauma base programming. The society you defend practically breeds "crutches", and even uses the home grown ones to their advantage.

Not really. I said what I wanted to say.

I owe you nothing, and don't care about convincing anyone. Do as you wilt.

unless you can do something productive (yeah right) while on welfare, you would be better off financially by getting a decent job

...

But it's not a handout. And no one said "muh honor".

I think you are EXTREMELY overestimating how much welfare gives you. It's not a great life.

You'll be barely surviving and and gaining no skills or work experience.

>Makes a claim
>When asked to back it up he says "Le i dont owe u anything i dont care"

You're really not helping the "stoners are fucking retards" stereotype...

...

Okay.

Cool story bro. I voted to legalize in my state last year. Still doesn't mean I'd want to hire somebody for whom getting high is such a priority. You can legally smoke and I can legally skip your application for somebody with better priorities.

Ya. Apple doesn't do drug screening.

But you reek of failure. You don't even have the creds to get an interview at Apple.

I'm just saying if you want your life to improve, this isn't the path, user. If you are happy living like this forever, go ahead it's your life, but don't complain in 40 years, when all you have is the clothes on your back.

> It's not a great life.

> open legs
> wait 9 months
> get $700 child support
> get $300 food stamps
> pay $50 a month cause section 8

wtf are you on about?

That makes less than minimum wage and gets you absolutely nowhere in life. It's not a great plan long-term.

I think you'll find it's easier to just work if you're able to.

> less

It's actually more. Being a red state on the east coast here are your stats:

Minimum Wage: $7.25
Average Wage: $10

(10*40)*4 = 1600 * 0.22% (taxs) = ~ $1248

Rent: $500 for 2 bed 1 bath in uban area
Utilities: $150 a month for electric & $50 for internet
Food: $250 for 1 adult and 1 child
Total: $950 - $1248 = ~ $298 left over

Not including child care, car, and cell phone. Child support will also go down due to new found job.

Oh and you have to pay your own medical and the child's medical vs having medicaid.

Get on the nootropics train my friend.

>tfw kickass jobs require hair drug tests
>shaved head 3 months ago and shaved it again a few days ago
>should be good unless they test my armpits or someshit

OP if you are over 22 then you shouldnt be doing drugs recreationally. especially if they are illegal and testable for.

leave that shit in college and HS and become an adult, sooner or later you'll have bigger responsibilities

Average wage where I'm from is $27/hr.

And welfare will barely give you $1200/month.

and i mean seriously where the fuck is the average wage $10/hr?

In a 3rd world country?

> being this delusional

Ya welfare will give you $1200 a month when you have a child. Maybe you should go do some research.

There are plenty of single mothers out there that only have kids for the sole reason of not having to work and having everything they want.

Nobody who makes $10 per hour and has a kid pays 22% in taxes, user. Likewise Medicaid doesn't go away at 20K per year. On the other hand, I don't think you can get a 1 bedroom in an urban area for $500 a month much less a two bedroom.

>There are plenty of single mothers out there that only have kids for the sole reason of not having to work and having everything they want.

Yeah. Maybe niggers or something

>having everything they want
I don't think making under $2000/month is ANYWHERE close to having "everything" you want.

Once again, it's also temporary and short-term. Even if what you're saying is true, they're not building any sort of career. What, are they just going to keep mooching off welfare until retirement (Which they won't be able to retire due to not having any savings)?

Not uncommon. Median income per house in my town is 32k.
That's per house, and most homes have at least two people working. Cost of living is low though, so if you drive a 10 year old beater and feed your family ramen you'll probably not end up homeless. A lot of families get food stamps, and many mother are too proud to apply.

t. makes 50k. I feel like a rich asshole around these literally poor people.

If you clam 0, you're paying 22%. Even at a modest 8% you're still losing.

Think about having to send out a resume, finding someone to watch your kid, and having to get up every morning to go to work. While on the other hand you lose a couple hundred to eat all day and watch soap operas.

dothan.craigslist.org/apa/6057135780.html

$450 for a 2 bed.

>(10*40)*4 = 1600 * 0.22% (taxs) = ~ $1248
Not factoring in 0% tax because $12,000 HOH deduction and $12,000 standard deduction

It's like you still haven't filed your first tax return, NEETboi

Interesting.

Pic related is what people make in my Province.

A local community college will give you an AA at $2k a semester. With a kid FAFSA will max you out at $5k. That's $3k a semester deposited into your bank account on top of what you're already getting.

But you just don't use the AA or drop out blaming the child for the inconvenience, while living off the system.

And you'd be surprised at what race is actually the majority when it comes to this.

We're talking about America, not leafs.

Makes sense that Satan would be Canadian.

And you would that say that Canadians make significantly more than leaves?

Somewhat skeptical given how much higher compensation in the US and how much of a braindrain you guys are.

whoa meant to write more than Americans, no idea why i wrote both Canadians and leaves lol

Have you ever filled out a tax form, user? The standard deduction for a single head of household is $9300 + $4050 (for the child) so your taxable income is only about $7000 so you pay 10% on that amount (source: irs.com/articles/2016-federal-tax-rates-personal-exemptions-and-standard-deductions.) You also should be able to claim a child tax credit of $1000 which will reduce your taxes below zero i.e. you will get back more than you ever had withheld.

I've been poor user (now in a 33% tax bracket, lol.) You can also get foodstamps even while working, as long as you meet income thresholds. There is a welfare cliff, but it isn't nearly as dramatic as it's often portrayed.

Ya you get $3k - $5k back as a tax return.

But you're not factoring in sitting on your fat ass vs having to actually contribute to society.

Yes you'd make $800 more a month working a full-time job, but you'd be taking on more responsibilities and you would be having much more stress upon yourself.

Canadians make more than Americans due to the amount of taxs of which are paid and fiat currency inflation.

1 CAD = 0.75 USD

$20k
$2k fed
$500 state
$250 a month child care

Woop. You get $800 more a month vs welfare.

I want to become rich so bad I'm legit going to become a Jew and network

can you give me a 1 sentence tl;dr on nootropics, i've got a friend who uses them but i am not sure what effects they have.

If you look at compensation for IT, software development, banking, medicine etc it's literally no comparison.

>can you give me a 1 sentence tl;dr on nootropics

No. It's literally tons and tons of reading. Do your own research, start on r/nootropics or something.

>Smoke weed
>Apply for job
>GO TO THIS LAB FOR PISS TEST
>IGHT I WILL MASTER
>bring fake urine
>Tuck it next to my balls to keep it warm
>Pour fake urine into cup
>Pass drug test
>Stay high all the time (except at work)

OP you are so dumb

So you're saying that if you work a job that makes $10 per hour you essentially make 80% more the income than a welfare queen at the end of the year while having something you can put on your resume and use to leverage a better paying position. Seems like a good deal to me.

This.

Seriously guys you'll find that being a leech does not end up working out. I've even asked people on /r9k/ about it and they've come to the conclusion that the only real way to be a NEET is to work hard, save a lot and be one of those early retirement guys. In almost all parts of the world, the work for welfare is too much for what you actually get, you're better off just working.

just to be safe go down to your nearest drug store and chemically burn bit of hair from ur body and then just say recently you shaved all of your hair off because your cousin has to go through chemo then brownie points also

>hi user
>your experience is exactly what we're looking for!
>all your references gave you a great report
>we're gonna give you the benefit of the doubt. you're hired!
>...but what we really need you to do first is drive 26 miles out of the way and wait 30-60 minutes in a room where some shitty daytime talk show is on and you can't really do anything to get away from it because the nurse could call you any minute to pee in a cup.
>If your pee and our pee mellow with each other, we'll give you a call back

drug testing labs boomed because of marijuana testing.

it's the most harmless drug they test for yet it stays in the system far longer than the dangerous ones do.

pissing in a cup for daddy is mega cuck-tier. measuring people by their piss is retarded.


join the subclub OP

Seriously welfare opulance is a big fat myth unless you just love living in roach motels and being the niggest of nigs. Yea man that sounds like the life to me. Nah, I'll keep working my cush job pushing six figures and full benefits. I guess if I had a shit job like most people I've known that bitch about welfare all the time I could maybe see the appeal. A big maybe.

It's simple, the only catch is random drug tests, but depending on how it's handled it could be just as easy as a know drug test.

CHRO at a mid-size insurance firm here. Let me lay this out for you: We are NOT testing for drugs. We are testing for responses.

When we send you to a lab to get your urine test, we look for all sorts of drugs (cannibinoids, barbiturates, opioids, alcohol, etc). but we aren't just testing for the presence of these drugs. Come on... we can tell when we interview you if you smoke weed or do cocaine or get shitfaced every night. That's your personality. What we REALLY want to see is how you react to a drug test. Do you want this job? Then you'll abstain from drugs until you get it. Do you want to work here? Prove to me that you're not a liability and you won't come to work hungover or high. If you're straight-edge, you still might not get the job.

We take bets on who we think is coming back squeaky clean. Oh, and those "pee cleaners" you stoners use? We know when you use those. Tests only come back inconclusive when you try to mask your habits with some product you found at jimmy's smoke shop and vapetorium. If your pee comes back with that garbage, you're lazy. we're not going to hire you. try subway you piece of shit lol.

But if you want a $60k+ job with $20k of benefits, you better pass our fucking test. It's the least you can do.

You and OP are both of the same caliber

>Oh look! We get tax reductions for a drug free workplace!
>We just need to follow these shitty SOPs and we get free money
>"Hello DEA? Can you give us a random drug screen schedule so we qualify for big government oversight tax cut #420?"

I'm not lazy, I'm just not playing the government's game so I don't end up a controlled sheep like you.

We are not in the same caliber if I'm enlightened and he's making up stories.

>if
You're as enlightened as a teenager pothead

I'm just ahead of the curve

Lol this is the end result of smoking the shitskin plant. You end up begging to be on SSI. Pathetic.

you're delusional

i smoked daily for years

you'll either grow out of it or be forever a brainlet

I realized being a wagecuck and a good goy is better than doing what you want. :) Le upboats.

they call it a psychological addiction as opposed to a physical addiction, because it's mostly just a habit, it's totally unnecessary to smoke weed, most people get bored with it after a long enough time

now stimulants and opiods are more exciting, but not worth the side effects

>psychological
>regulates eating
>sleep and rem cycles
>bowel movements

(((doctors))) are Chad retards, who at the end of the day tow the standard line which absolves them of liability.

Would you feel the same way if they had a way to test for people who drink alcohol every night?

Weed is so much less worse than alcohol. I've never heard of a "weed addict" ruining his family like an alcoholic.

Yes. I've seen people who came to work drunk get flat-out fired. If it was feasible to screen for them, I would be for it. Unfortunately, it's so incredibly common, that it would be socially unacceptable to perform such a screening.

>Past month heavy alcohol use among adults aged 18 to 64 employed full time, by industry category: combined 2008 to 2012

This graph represents all the hard working people that these posters want fired from their jobs. They want to cripple all these industries because the workers enjoy something that they themselves don't like. Could you imagine being so short sighted?

samhsa.gov/data/sites/default/files/report_1959/ShortReport-1959.html

>>They want to cripple all these industries
>Implying only drunkards can do these jobs
Stop making excuses for yourself. Heavy drinking is a liability, especially in fields where mistakes can lead to fatal consequences for you or your coworkers like mining and construction.

I mean you're right that weed is a shitty meme drug but don't be that faggot

>Weed
>Not superior speed

>Weed Smoker
>Socialist
Not surprising 2bh famygdala

>Weed Smoker
>Socialist
Not surprising 2bh famygdala

Quit yesterday actually, i need a job at a real employer since mines going under. It feels good to remember things. If you don't like being sober
>>being sober is gay
you may have a problem and not know it. Take it from someone who did. Lucky i dealt with it now instead of smoking my life to ashes, famalam.

Do it!
Dont be a pussy!