*blocks your path*

*blocks your path*

*Crush it with my shoe, clean it up with a paper towel, then continue on my way*

*shoots*

*successfully invades*

*draws his sword and challenges to holmgång*

*insults mustache*

*subjugates*

*slaughters your entire village*

*ruins history*

> *almost ruins history*

fixed that for you punk

Þu hwot froend?

*kills northumbrian dogs*

*slays ur mum*

*farts in your general direction*

...

*teleports behind you*

>Oh sweet shinguards, can I have them?
>Fuck off, kid

YOUR MONEY OR YOUR LIFE

YOU HAVE COMMITTED CRIMES AGAINST WESSEX AND HER PEOPLE

WHAT SAY YOU IN YOUR DEFENCE

where the anglo wymen at

*kills your father*

[wailing intensifies]

>installs less boring mod