ITT famous fetishists/deviants of history

>Ever allowing woman to have a word in politics.
The world never changes. Empires were fallen, now countries are falling. USA should be glad for not having the same fate.

When cheap carbs became a thing, so around the middle of the 19th Century. Though of course there are outliers from earlier in history.

I remember seeing in a similar thread this one (iirc) queen who was basically a complete slut and went around naked but I don't remember the name, any ideas?

It's only a matter of time.
Pretty recently, actually. Sure there were exceptions throughout history, but since the dawn of fast, cheap food filled with fat and grease, obesity has really gotten out of hand.

Theodora the Byzantine """Empress.""""
Or Catherine The OG Horsefucker.

Sounds like something Catherine the Great would do.

theodora

shes an orthodox saint iirc

Who isn't an Orthodox saint at this point? It would be easier to get moot canonised than to get him to take Veeky Forums back.

that not being mad at all... in fact, is the opposite of that. you need to have a very developed mind in order to come up with such a devious plan to get your dick wet

nothing but respect for this thick lover

Theodora holds the dubious distinction of being an actual, no joke prostitute

The distinction between actresses and prostitutes is a purely modern invention.

Well she actually did do something very important for the Orthodox Church. Iconoclasts almost supplanted them, if emperor and empress didn't support them they would be just a heresy today.

Emperor Liu Chang of Southern Han.
"I like brown butts and I cannot lie."
>When Liu became Emperor, he was sixteen years old. During reign, he spent most of his time having sexual intercourse with women, including Persian women (波斯女子)who were prominent in his harem.
>His particular favourite was one young girl he nicknamed "beautiful sow" or "Seductive Pig" (媚猪) (Mei Zhu or Mei Chu). Liu doted on this young Persian woman,] who was also reportedly sixteen years old.
>Liu liked the Persian girl (Mei Zhu) because of her brown skin color. He and the Persian girl also liked to forced young couples to go naked and played with them in the palace
>Descriptions of the sexual activities between Liu Chang and the Persian woman in the Song dynasty book the "Ch'ing-i-lu" by T'ao Ku were so graphic that the "Memoirs of the Research Department of the Toyo Bunko (the Oriental Library), Issue 2" refused to provide any quotes from it while discussing the subject.

Before he was a hardass that crucified pirates, Julius Caesar was known as the Queen of Bithynia for serving as it's king's buttboi while he was Rome's representative in the kingdom.

Charles XII of Sweden could only go to sleep when he was lying on a flat blank or resting his head on the legs of one of his soldiers. Even his generals offered their laps as pillows for their king.

>Charles XII of Sweden could only go to sleep when he was lying on a flat blank or resting his head on the legs of one of his soldiers. Even his generals offered their laps as pillows for their king.
dude was an actual, unironic austist right?

pretty good king tho

What's wrong with theodora? I thought she was good.. Pulling Justinian's shit together n' stuff..
Teach me Veeky Forums

I think so. When he was shot while inspecting his troops preparations for the battle of Poltova he literally spent the rest of the day in the saddle before collapsing when he got off his horse. There had to be some kind of autistic resistance to pain involved.

When he was in the court of the King Augustus the Strong of Saxony, the German prince decided that if he send his most proclaimed courtesan/mistress to "tame" Karl, he'd go a lot easier on him in the peace settlement.
They meet once, and it was limited to Karl saying "good day" before riding off on his horse. I don't think he was a virgin by any means considering his hellraising days before he became king, but he never married or carried mistresses around him on campaign.

He definitely was a homo, just like Friedrich the Great.

I'm more of a Friedrich William man myself. To celebrate their alliance against Sweden, Peter the Great sent Freddy some of Russia's tallest men to serve in Will's Potsdam Giants, soldiers too tall to actually serve in battle.
When Will refused to go along with Peter's plans for the war, he had the men he'd sent kidnapped and smuggled back to Russia, causing Will to throw a hissy fit that caused a diplomatic incident.

She was an actual prostitute, and also everything military-wise that people attribute to her and Justinian was actually done by Belisarios with their meddling only holding him back.

Why were there a lot of Persian Women in China, was this guy buying them wholesale?

I remember reading that during the Nika uprising, Justinian was prepared to flee the city but Theodora refused to go with, so he stayed put. Eventually Narses and Belisarius crushed the riots, so I'd at least give her credit for that

Probably. Also remember that some of the last Persian Zoroastrian nobility did escape to China.

In the T'ang Dynasty during the late 600s/early 700s, the Sassanid Empire collapsed. However the Shahanshah, Pirooz, and the crown prince, Narsieh, managed to escape to China along with shitloads of Sassanid aristocrats that they formed a sizable minority of Iranians in China.

The T'ang was sympathetic to the plight of the Sassanids and gave the nobles, well, noble ranks and positions in government & the army. Narsieh, the prince, himself was made a member of the T'angs elite Dragon Guard.

They were pretty much absorbed in the Chinese ethnicity by around the 1200s, via intermarriages with the locals.

I wonder how much of this is actually true. Romans were known for making shit up about emperors that were killed/overthrown to justify it.

Yeah, but most outrageous lies were made about early (Tiberius to Nero) emperors by guys like Tacitus and Suetonius whose dicks popped out of their tunics the moment someone mentioned the good old republic days.

THICC

>300+ pounds
Lightweight. Truely, life sucked for fat fetishists before this, our golden era.

he reigned from 1640 to 48

IIRC she was more of an exotic dancer than a straight prostitute. Her thing was putting on shows like laying naked with bird seed sprinkled on her belly while a swan placed between her legs to eat the seed while a narrative recalled the story of Leda and the Swan.

Theodora was awesome, though. When Justinian's entire cabinet was telling him to cut his losses and screw during the Nika riots, only Theodora was telling her husband to ride out the storm, which is ultimately what saved his grip on power.

Plus Belisarius was an actual cuck with a wife who was scandalously shameless about it, and Theodora made sure that it was kept swept under the rug so that the most brilliant military mind of his day could stay blissfully ignorant and focus on reunifying the Roman Empire.

Most of the really nasty shit spread about her was erotic fanfiction by Procopius who had a blatant political bone to pick

I read somewhere that medieval Christian monks/priests could end up to be real fatasses. Im not sure what their sources were though. Plus there are writtings by Galen I think that discuss obesity.

Procopius was one of the saltiest fucks ever to live.

There was also a Sultan who was a homoerotic god among men.Allegedly, he was well-built, muscled and in peak physical condition.He wrestled more men at once and had many male lovers, a true man of the steppes.

That's so cute

Why isn't moot canonised as a saint yet?

Reminder that sexual deviance is more common in smarter people

>Also remember that some of the last Persian Zoroastrian nobility did escape to China.
desu right now somewhere in china lives a direct heir to the sassanid empire

Frederick the >Great was a faggot. Does that count?

Interesting possible connection:
independent.co.uk/news/world/asia/persian-maths-discovery-japan-carved-wood-artefact-archaeologists-1000-years-a7347726.html
The article says "more than 1000 years ago" but the Nara period was 710-794 and the height of Japanese adoration for Tang China.

>devious plan
>I am the Sultan! Ten camels and a garden for those who bring me the THICCEST woman of the known world!

Not that devious desu.

obligatory

THAT's de Sade?

I want to Fuck de Sade.

Basically write, not just the book, but the entire library, on the follies of the hedonistic treadmill and all its inevitable depraved downfalls.

Somehow still be remembered of the biggest hedonist of all time.

Seriously, if the puritans had actually read his works, he would have been canonized.

>The mechanical Apega, according to Polybius, was a machine, a well-executed replica or duplicate of the real wife of Nabis, and was used by Nabis to collect money from unwilling Spartan citizens. Those who did not give money were sent to deal with his wife. This was the replica, dressed in expensive clothing, with arms outstretched. When the drunken visitors hugged her, this triggered the arms to close. The device's arms, hands, and breasts were covered with iron nails, and the arms were capable of crushing the body of its victim. Nabis would control the machine through hidden devices until the victim agreed to pay a tribute or to the point of death.
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Apega_of_Nabis