/lozg/ - The legend of Zelda General

yo what the fuck

Probably the closest thing I have in my folder.

Right page reminds of the art from that one scary story book with the fucked up art. You guys know the one.

How could I ever forget about Harold.

Much better

SWOLE GUARDIANS

Can Link beat the Ing from MP2? It’s not far off from what he faced in TP, I think he could provided he gets some magic on his side.

>Eldritch horrors in Zelda
Holy shit, yes please.

me tie dough-ty walker

I like it, it's like a corrupted classical painting.

golem guardians would have been pretty scary

How do we create a Genetically Superior Link?

Breed with a Zora for the swimming ability and then breed the offspring with a rito for flying. Then have that hang around death mountain for Goron spores to impregnate that for an indestructible flying fish

>Trying to Multi-specialize
Or we could just give him a few masks that let him Mode Change into various species at will since each species is optimized for various environments.

I say we start by ensuring that Groose DNA makes up 70% of a Genetically Superior Link's Genome.

Lets just speed up the process and give groose the sword

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s1.webmshare.com/raO9e.webm

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She's a sassy one

>In order to better Prepare the Hyrule for the next fight with Ganon, The Royal Family had begun a Breeding Program to ensure that the Spirit of the Hero's Next vessel is literally perfect.
>Delegating some female members of the Royal Family (For the link to Hylia so that in principle, Zelda won't be needed) for the breeding Program, Generation 1 was simply taking the Strongest Hylians they could find and Breeding them with the specified members of the Royal Family, under the direction of someone who specializes in Horse and Cow Breeding(Henceforth known as the Director). At this Age, the Director is 30 years old
>Generation 2 Takes the Strongest Off the children born in Generation 1 and Mates them with the closest (and overall physically stronger) Gerudo specimens. Since the Spirit of the Hero can't inhabit a female body (due to BS nintendo restriction), all Females born from this project are relegated to Breeding or to the Royal Knights as an ad hoc special forces unit who's principle task is to assist the Spirit of the Hero. At this age the Director is 45 years old
>The Curse of Demise is, under this interpretation, allowed to remanifest at anytime and any place. Particularly vulnerable points are people who desire something others have.
>Generation 3 is a refining of the desired traits for Generation 2, along with upping the breeding chances a Male will appear.
>An Incredibly strong and mighty Female Specimen Appears in Generation 2. The director has chosen to transfer her from the Royal Knights to the Breeding Program due to her outstanding performance.
>Breaking into the Lab at night, she discovers that her entire existance is merely to pave the road for the perfect vessel for the spirit of the hero.
>Using her training, connection to her sisters and other subjects of the breeding program, she leads a rebellion. At this time the Director is now 55 years old.

>The Rebellion begins, and in one fel swoop, Hyrule falls. The current Princess Zelda escapes with her court and forms a mobile government in exile on Horseback, keeping mobile.
>The Director escapes with his most important notes on the operations. As of right now, the Rebellion Leader does not know that she and various other members can enter the sealed realm that holds the triforce due to their blood: They only know that they need Zelda herself to do it.
>In a last desperate attempt at shaking off the brood he spawned, the Director plunges straight in the Lost Woods.
>After being lost for Days, he stumbles across a strange artifact...

what the fuck dude

Hey, here's an interesting question. What kind of religious holidays do you think they have in Hyrule? Christmas obviously stems from Christianity, but Christianity doesn't quite exist in the world of Legend of Zelda, at least not like it does in this world. You think they have holidays that celebrate Hylia or the golden goddesses?

>Christianity doesn't quite exist in the world of Legend of Zelda, at least not like it does in this world.
I wonder about the big shields in the original LoZ; those have crosses on them.
>You think they have holidays that celebrate Hylia or the golden goddesses?
Seems likely to me; didn't seem like it was made a big deal of. Makes sense not to, in order to avoid stirring up Western religious passions.

Granted, that was before they had fleshed out the world of LoZ as much as it is now, they went with something traditional and easily recognizable. Knight's shields often had crosses on them in reality, so it worked.

Not the only time they borrowed religious imagery, remember Ocarina's original mirror shield?

>remember Ocarina's original mirror shield?
>crescent moon
>found in the desert area
Yeah, I can kinda see that.

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Goddammit.

I miss the LttP style shield.

B A B Y M AK I N G

>goes through 4 weapons just to do a kinetic energy shrine

this durability thing really fucking sucks, even on my third play

I hope you get something nice for Christmas, user.

what the fuck is even going on?

Looks like Purah gave Zelda an embarrassing present (which Link promptly took away for research purposes).

>Blondes

Yuck

>not liking blondes

no clue if this means my shitty fanfic is gud or bud

Link's putting a few Christmas presents in Zelda's belly

Is it weird fanfic time? Here's a quick one I jotted down based on the idea that Zelda in the Ocarina of Time manga genuinely thought she was a man named Sheik for a few years due to magic brainwashing in order to better hide from Ganondorf.

pastebin.com/mrrvjHB8

I ain't clickin' on that shit nigga

It's just a pastebin about Shiek realizing she has a vagina

What do you guys think used to be here? A simple village or a full town like in front of the Castle?

>guardian darknuts
please

ha

woops this is the wrong general

my rage blinded me merry christmas lads

This would actually be cool. Competent swordsmen like the Yiga Blademasters, but with full armor, maybe only vulnerable in back so you have to think of how to get behind them and strike quickly. TP might've done that already tho, now that I think about it.

>Paya is secretly a trained Sheikah warrior
>She probably knows all the techniques Maz Koshia was using in his boss fight
>Multi-Paya shadow clones
>Giant Paya

Could have been a small town, but since they didn't even care to model anything and just resuse the same landscape in the future, there's just no telling what it is. It definitely had to be a town though, since it has a gate.

>Paya without thigh/crotch gap
YES! SAVED

>a whole paya harem all to yourself

>Giant Paya

I can only get so hard

merry christmas /lozg/!

Merry Christmas, user!

>captcha: sushi for sale

Well if it's weird fanfic time, I'll re-post this and if anons like it I'll make a profile on fanfiction.net or Archive of our Own and write more
pastebin.com/8nDW4JJ8

ho about you finish it and we'll decide

>So which Zelda has the best combat?

that was terrible

That was bad and you should feel bad.

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It wasn’t funny the first time, it wasn’t funny now.

I'd say TP. I really liked learning new techniques along the way. Too bad we will never see the Helm Splitter ever again.

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Sure, why not
>Ta Da, the Director just so happens to be the Spirit of the Hero reborn.
>Turns out: Making the Perfect Vessel for the Spirit of the Hero does diddly squat for actually getting him into that Vessel, he reincarnates at random for the most part
>After initial hesitation and some denial, he pulls the Master Sword.
>There is some initial debate among the korok on how this should be handled. One of them notes that the current crisis isn't a normal 'here be the darkness' situation, and that Hyrule could probably hold out for another 10, 20 years tops
>The it's brought up is to imply maybe the Director should kill himself in order to reincarnate into a more youthful form that would be better suited for the kind of combat he will have to encounter
>Insert Deku Tree pronouncing final judgement: If he can make it through this dungeon, the Korok will assist him out of the woods, if not, they'll kill him or let the dungeon take care of him (implying he is too old)
>Makes it through
>Returns to Hyrule with the classic Link look
>Repeat others saying 'perhaps reincarnation would be better...' or if they know his role in this debacle: 'kill yourself so that the REAL hero will show up'
>During his time in the Lost Woods, The Gerudo, Goron, Zora, Rito have been put in a very problematic situation: which Government is the legitimate government of the Hylians?
>To further compound matters, the Sheikah have erupted into civil war over the fact that this might be a sign that the bloodline of the goddess is to come to an end.
>Just a reminder: The Journal that the Director carries with him are is the proof that Royal Blood flows through the rebels veins.
>Reunites with Government in exile and begin working on winning over each of the other Racial Governing bodies one by one.

>funny
>not erotic

stop

taken a strange turn but go on

Well that got pretty dark pretty quick

>On either the second to last or the last one, seeing as their position as a legitimate government is failing, the rebels direct an all out assault on the current Racial government you're at and the government in exile.
>The Director loses the Journal during the kerfuffle and it's delivered straight to the rebel leader's hands.
>After the Final dungeon for the final race, the Director's body literally gives out due to the stress of the past weeks and age. He is retrieved and revived but all the hearts you earned are slowly diminishing to the standard 3 hearts and as time passes you will note your character gets sluggish
>Impa returns with bad news, while the Sheikah civil war is still ongoing, she has still be spying on behalf of Zelda, and imparts that in [insert time frame] that the Rebel leader will use her blood to entered the sealed realm
>At this point it's a race against time and your own failing body to get to Hyrule castle, get into the Sealed Realm, navigate it's dangers and stop the Rebel Leader before you drop dead.
>Assuming the Player makes it through all this, the last fight the Director vs his Greatest Creation.
>It should be emphasized to the player that this fight is more or less surviving to a time limit rather than a kill the boss fight, as Zelda herself is making her way to the Triforce
>Final Cutscene shows the Director kneeling at the Rebel Leader's in sheer exhaustion. In order to buy Zelda time, he offers the Rebel Leader the Master Sword.
>Because she's a big fan of poetic irony, she Stabs him with the Master sword, only to notice Zelda about to reach the Triforce.
>The Director grabs the Rebel Leader's hand and pulls the Master Sword deeper into him, holding her long enough for Zelda to wish the Triforce somewhere else or to split it.
>At this point the sealed realm is collapsing, Zelda fucks off while Link (now dead) is still stubbornly holds onto the Rebel Leader until the sealed realm collapses.

>the Rebellion Leader does not know that she and various other members can enter the sealed realm that holds the triforce due to their blood
Is this for real I thought you needed to be power wisdom or courage to enter the sacred realm???

I might be a little drunk right now

I enjoyed the one about Sheik having to pee more than this.

Pretty new, still haven't done an actual dungeon. Last main story thing I did was get my shiekah slate fixed up with the camera mode and such. Mostly been wandering around and such, since every time I try to go to an objective there is always something distracting.

I've been doing so many shrines and haven't really invested any of the orbs yet, I've been alternating stam and heart, is that fine? Or should I not bother with one of them very much?

I thought anyone could enter.
I mean, look at Link to the Past's backstory. It's literally about people flooding into the Sacred Realm to hunt the Triforce.

Stamina is best one to upgrade since you'll be needing it much more. However if you want the master sword early, go with hearts. You will need 13 of them.

I do want that, thanks.

There's an evil goddess statue in Hateno where you can pay to swap your stamina and hearts around as you like, so you can customize later if you want.

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I'm surprised they went through so few designs. Either there's far more in the full book, some designs are too out there sexually or they didn't include as much as they could have

I wonder what kind of being the statue once was. Very likely a demon but who sealed it. Was it Zelda and/or Link or was it Hylia way way back

She states it was Hylia

im gonna miss lozg

That means it happened really long ago. The Demon Statue could be buried underground in other games muttering to itself or stuck in a place with no one able to hear it's voice

Where are you going? You should at least wait till the new year has got going before you consider killing yourself

>Link is the only person who can hear the demon statue
>It's right outside his house
Imagine that thing shouting at Link at all hours of the night because it gets bored.

Wake up, Link

>...Ganon....
>....Ganon
>...GANON

Are there any good switch games coming up?
I'm loving Zelda so far, but I don't feel there's much on the horizon for now.

Metroid and Pokemon

Heard there will be a Pokemon RPG.
What are the odds it won't be a small gimmicky spin-off, and instead be a decent alternative to the handheld "main" games.
I love the Pokemon format, but the 4 attack turn-based combat is so 1997.