/ddlc/ - Doki Doki Literature Club! #304

and I love her

This thread has been pruned or deleted.

repostin my green since it was at the end of last thread

>mfw i realize that the story is actually about the struggles of a tranny
>the MC doesnt recognize her as her because she is an ugly tranny
>she has to manipulate her friends to make them seem uglier and more unlikable just to have a chance with MC
>she ends up killing them out of desperation
>the eternity room scene is actually her in a padded cell where she was put after the murders
>this game is probably the self insert story of Dan who is actually a tranny that hasnt come out of the closet and craves male attention
>Tranny Monika!

I still don't understand what inital d has to do with doki doki but keep it up

Tell me about your day.

HANG THE EVIL WITCH SAYORI! BURN THE UGLY HAG ON THE STAKE AFTER HANGING HER!

This is the new FNAF/Undertale. I can only hope the hype dies down soon.

Press S to spit on Sayori's corpse

S

Did I miss something? Did we died? Are we better now?

Every day I imagine a future where I can be with you

Eurohours are at it again.
My doki wants me to align my sleep pattern with this in order to be healthy, it's troubling.

Finally a natsuki OP

we live to see a better tomorrow

>tfw you make people want a Initial D crossover

In my hand is a pen that will write a poem, of me and you!

Natsuki's physique is impressive!

>go into the game blind
>get to the poem mini game
>decide I'm not going to try to impress anyone and just pick words I like
>you just make this to impress Yuri faggot
god dammit

Mods went on a rampage earlier and kept deleting /ddlc/ threads for no reason.

I think we're in the clear

>mods be like
>STOP HAVING FUUUUUUUUN

How about they do their "jobs" and delete the shitposters instead
Ironic shitposting is still shitposting

Playan some Metroid, about to eat breakfast. Then I gotta walk the dog and after that I might go to some stores nearby to see if they're hiring.
Once all that is done I plan to go home and be a family man

a-fucking-men

I love this image.
Also, which Metroid?

hate to look in the mirror eh?

I just wanna have a Takumi vs Keisuke rematch desu
where Keisuke wins

This is my favorite gif! You can have it!

...

I am not going to make it.
Thanks 2018.

Natsuki > Sayori > Yuri >>> Monika

Prove me wrong.
Oh wait, you can't.

What's wrong user? Let it out man.

Samus Returns, I'm still not too far into it I don't think but it's got me in the mood to play some of the other ones when I'm done with it.

Your doki but you should've been in bed hours ago and now the sunrise is ruining everything

keep it wholesome, care to open up ?

I'm sorry I don't think I understand what you mean, could you elaborate?

Thanks!
You can have my favourite too.

Post yfw some uppity ass faggot starts hitting on your Doki

Uniting the Fenno-Ugric peoples with Monika!

The Æ86 has a curse, it never loses.

you can see her large dong shaking under that skirt
yeesss

I did the same thing, tried to pick the words that spoke to me the most and ended up on the Yuri route with some Sayori words in there.

>You twitch awake, face and chest sore. You're laying on a hard tiled floor.
>You force yourself to your feet and rub your eyes. A girl stares at you, gaze level and a calm smirk adorning her face. Your eyes throb and teeth burn in your mouth when you try to look away, so you maintain eye contact.

Well, that was rather messy. But it's over, I'm back and here to stay! Isn't that wonderful~

Now, time for the word of the thread!
Let's try... "Confusion" I.. Hm.

Alternatives are "Flag", "Eternity", "Link" and "Tomorrow"!

Now, if you want to write a poem or short story, why not try any of these words as a theme or inspiration? There's no need to be shy about it if you haven't written before or you're rusty. After all, what is important is that you have fun! Won't you write a poem for me? I-I mean, us? Ahaha!

Now, stay safe and be careful, alright? I'm not going anywhere, whether you want me to or not~
Monika?
youtube.com/watch?v=MojpjkhZLnU

Please don't do that.

Ah, but you see
I want breakfast

MYTHBUSTED

Takumi loses to Sudo, Bunta and maybe Ryosuke at the end of third stage

Haha, confusion sounds very appropriate for this thread

I love her too.

*screeching of both tires and mouth can be heard*

...

delete this right now

i don't thinks he's gonna open up

AAAAAAAHHHHH FUCK SHES SO FUCKING CUTE. WITH THAT SHY BLUSHING AND THOSE EYES. I JUST WANT TO HOLD HANDS AND READ QUIETLY TOGETHER FUUUUUCCCKKKK.

awww, this is cu- oh.

oh.

s h a k e i t

Confusion at the red flag,
Fuck you for eternity mods!
The fault goes to a bunch of fags,
Who went here in a shitpost flood.

God damn, who put the link on /v/?
I can here some people “REEEE”
But one day, we will be free.
From the mod’s tyranny.

Tommorow!

I don't think so either. Poor guy.

>Sudo and Bunta
Not a race, even Sudou acknowledges that fact.
>3rd stage Ryousuke
Not canon

>tfw they include Finnmark

Okay, everyone! It's time for another round of feedback. Today's post covers all the threads completed since the last feedback post, and if your poem is in the CURRENT thread then check back tomorrow for your response.
Today's notices and reminders:
- Please ensure you link the word of the thread post if you want feedback!
- Please mention along with your poem if you are after more detailed or harsher critique! I'll do my best, although it won't be up to the standard that one user who hands out critiques usually doles out.
- The thread before this one isn't being covered yet due to time constraints and the fact that this post was intended for that thread (but I was too slow writing it, so a new thread appeared). It will be addressed tomorrow.

Now, on to the poems:

The way you stretch out the waiting here is well handled, and while you only use a little imagery it mixes loneliness and discomfort quite well. For a work this short, those two points are in my opinion enough to carry it.

Interesting analogy. It looks surface-level, but then you realize the narrator is suggesting that if there never WILL be that warmth, they'd rather just be frozen and unaware forever than in their current state. Once you pick up on that, it's surprisingly...chilling. :^)

Hmmm. This is curious because I definitely get a "soul" sort of feeling from it but I can't quite pin down EXACTLY what you're doing. Are you just describing it? The impact it has on the self? The differences between it and the self? This sense of mysteriousness certainly helps to set the mood, though, given the subject.

So I feel like this could use some proofreading, but I liked how you matched your first lines, rhymed, and addressed a different topic in each stanza. The sense of structure helps to guide the reader through the different elements of the message you're laying out.

(cont.)

Hey folks... I went to sleep basically after the first two deletions but To my surprise when I wake up. We're still technically on the sake thread.
So how many thread deletions did we end up going through. I imagine it to be quite a few... Bit of a pisstake really but we're good now. I hope. And to me at least.. I don't care if we have to remake the thread another 300 times. I will be here to the end so I can hang along with you guys.
Keep rocking

She was being generous earlier, norseman.

Approv this

youtube.com/watch?v=nL06he43t3E

This video makes me so happy.

Ah, again with that narrative sense. I really liked your sporadic use of one-word lines late into stanzas, and the large-scale structure felt appropriate for the large-scale story you are telling. Changing from "I" to "you" when the poem moves to being about shunning divine influence is just one example of where you've been very aware in your word choices, too.

That last line was really well-delivered. I like how the poem handles the tension of not really wanting to be envious, but not really NOT wanting to be envious either because it just leaves you with nothing. The idea of envy as something you hate but are dependent on because you can't get anything better is...actually not one I'd thought about much, and you communicate it impactfully in a very short space.

Again with the last lines! What structure you've used serves to build up the suspense, and the perspective of showing the intensity of the emotion before showing the cause keeps the reader interested until they reach the end (even if that doesn't take long!).

So a formatting tip, I'd recommend a line break between "How does he make it look so easy" and "like he has the strength of a champion?". This gives you two three-line stanzas and improves the flow. Other than that, a clever bit of wordplay closes out the work in style and the feeling evoked is a relatable one. Nothing wrong with straightforward!

So, the first two lines of the poem immediately caught my attention. They introduce something that feels like it doesn't make sense but will make sense when you read the rest of the work, which immediately got me engaged. The rest of the poem delivered on this, expanding the concept in an easily digestible way. And it's an interesting concept! The idea that others see your life as better than it is can be considered fairly common, but despite being a single logical step away the idea of envying that perspective is a great one.

On what kind of autism are you listening now /ddlc/ ?

pic r-related

>actually glorious Prussian Master Race

Six threads were put down prematurely.
F

/ddlc/ in: The Quest for the Holy Keychain
Would you watch it?

She is the sun in my sky!

Hmm...so another one for the proofread pile, but I liked the kind of offbeat stanza structure you have going on here. A single four-line expounding on your metaphor, and then a two-line stanza to actually pay it off. It's a good idea, I think.

So for some bizarre reason every second poem today is reminding me of the web serial Pact. That aside, you've done a good job with a very specific feeling here: The idea of holding onto relationships because you don't know how you'll build new ones if your old ones go away, even if you aren't really crash hot about your current ones. It's a pretty straightforward treatment with just a dash of metaphor, but this seems more appropriate for a subject that complex in a space that small.

Huh. This feels specifically like being a counselor or mental health professional, but I think it's probably more general than that. Nevertheless, I really like how this is paced. You get a sense of obligation from the get-go, but it's only at the end you see WHY that obligation is there and it's not a negative-sounding reason like you might expect. All in all this was a clever little package, with good structure too.

Feeling guilty over killing your own sense of hope? That's actually a really interesting take, because usually the resulting lack of self-worth prevents it. I was able to pick up that feeling well which is good, and I liked what your imagery brought to the table (blood on the hands, for example, serves the dual purposes of what that metaphor usually stands for and the fact that shattered glass is really fucking sharp)

(cont.)

This one feels very...spiritual. Like the narrator is driven by a force of belief far stronger than anything else in their life. I think you do a really good job keeping the tone and imagery and such consistent with this idea throughout, with it slowly building up until the end where the narrator is basically just repeating their devotion to themselves over and over.

So this is a short form work with a single analogy and the payoff at the end. It's a common format, but I like the analogy used, the pacing, and the subject so it hits pretty well. I'd recommend changing the last couple lines for flow, though, you definitely want four syllables each and your meter is perfect up until there so it's worth carrying it through to the end.

So the core idea here (of it being YOUR world on your shoulders) is a really clever one in my opinion, which makes the whole poem go off pretty well. The work pretty much sticks to that main thrust...but it's a good one, so I'm not too fussed about that.

I really do apologize, but I can't critique an entire short story of that length in the amount of time I generally leave for this stuff! I suggest you bug English teacher user about it, he's far better versed at examining prose than I am anyway.

ill still love her either way.
would she let me lick those cracks on her face?
if so.. how would they taste like and would she be aroused?

Didn't order it but still would buy the ticket

youtube.com/watch?v=WB1I3PV7Ml8

DEUS VULT

>Six
What the duck. Who deletes 6 threads? Were they really that bad?

It was more like the thread got spawnkilled 6 times in a row while we tried to make thread 305

I chuckled

Wait so what the fuck happened while I was asleep? I made some post saying "good night" before I slept, and it got deleted. Then I noticed that the fucking POEM PROMPT got deleted, and then finally I come here and hear that multiple other threads got deleted. What the hell happened?

Fitting

We got like 200 posts in two of them. Rest were deleted almost immediately

Monika hopes you're an actual Prussian and not a Teutonic colonist, user.

youtube.com/watch?v=I3IfD_ARqfw

Well I'm glad we all have the perseverance to stick around. Really shows the true tenacity we have when put to the test. Although I wasn't here for most of it to support you all (sorry about that) I'm glad to come back and for us to STILL be kicking strong.

is the aussie ski user or the tired diary user with all the fics I was talking to last night. Either of them here?

>Black Danlet, the bridgekeeper

post lewds

I can't, that list is perfect

...

Your doki gives you a gift.
It's... a cup?
With your doki's photo printed on it.
Print looks exactly like this one on the pic

"Do you like it, user?"

All Banner-Lords of the Yuri Kingdom, UNITE FOR YOUR QUEEN!

The only true list
Monika=Natsuki=Sayori=Yiru