/ss13g/ Spessmen on a Spess Station

>thinking the playerbase will pick up when they see Station time 17:00 and heads+sex listed as inactive
H-honk?

as far as I know we're the only server to attempt to use glide_size and it works like ass

MANIFEST DESTINY

>Never played CM
>Look at their wiki
>All these fucking rules
>Every role is dressed almost exactly the goddamn same
>30 million different types of bags and pouches and harnesses
>100 guns that are all slight variations on the same 10 guns
>Dozens of RPG spreadsheet-tier weapon attachments
>Even the most basic jobs come with an expectation to know all this shit and move quickly because of the strict command structure and delegated tasks and everyone waiting on everyone else to do their jobs under penalty of being overrun by the much simpler to play ayys
Jesus, I'll just wait for lifeweb to come back up

It's no where near as strict as you think

>muh pulling/grabbing animations
Is that all TG can come up with for "why Veeky Forums is shit"?
How fucking autistic do you have to be to care that much about something that innocuous?

The rules boil down to don't griff, don't metagame, don't steal. The powergay shit has been controlled by nerfing and enabling cargo niggers.
They're pretty self-explanatory storage
The gun really doesn't matter. Just stick with your squad leader, don't stand in the acid cloud after the first time you learn it's acid, and don't shoot people when they move in front of you. It's not rocket science.

here I'll fix it just for him :^)

What is the least shitty server that isn't Veeky Forums?

test server

Just play locally

But can I ERP with my waifu there?

You can even make her respond. My tank transfer valves talk to and cheer me on while I work

>2562
>walk into bar
>battle of lil slugger starts playing

>justsomedood Metacomms with Keegeeo4. Failed a metatest.

What's a metatest?

a test
it's meta

They watch you closely while something happens that would make you want to talk to your voicechat friend, then if you actually fall for it like a retard they know you have extra-sensorial perception.

Admins sit you down with a pen and paper to answer 25 questions about famous Veeky Forumsstatics and players.
If you score below 8 you're banned

Admins ask you meta question.

How many eggs are in a Vanilla Cake
How do you disable lasers on the goon sat etc.

If you get enough right you get banned.

CM is a fucking waste of time and vital energy.
I'm sick of seeing it shilled all god damned day when it's the most overpopulated SS13 server.
Play literally anything else.

>when you get a really good idea for a spires character and imagine the RPP flowing in

See you at 200 RPL dorks

>wanting CM players to come play on Veeky Forums
I'd rather they stay there.

What if
Nonlethal conversion gamemode where the antags are a rock band
>Starting members are unhappy wageslaves that want to fight the system and start their own band
>Band members get instruments, and play gigs to turn non-implanted people within hearing range into fans, with percent chance of success per person being based on a number of factors, like the amount of band members playing in unison, or amount of people present, or whether you've recently played a show in the same area
>Fans do nothing other than add to the base chance for conversion success, but can be turned into band members
>Heads become the manager(1 max) and organizes efforts
>Cargo/Engineering are roadies, and handle band equipment, getting anything the band needs and setting up equipment for shows, like stage stuff that further increases conversion chance
>Medsci are pyro/technicians and develop things that can influence the audience or help keep them captive for a show
>General staff are groupies, which can do a bit of everything

>Goal of the band is to reach a set number of fans and play one massive show that will melt everyone's faces
>Goal of sec/command is to arrest the band members and loyalty implant them
>For the sake of fun as well as corralling retards, the band also gets a tour bus that can fit up to 20 people inside for easy transportation
Given some good base construction/defense mechanics, and you've basically got cult: brutal legend edition

>Nonlethal conversion
as opposed to lethal conversion?

non lethal conversion implies that groupies can't just chloral behead sec / sec can't bean a bandmember in the back of the head with buckshot
What prevents this?

"Nonlethal" as a descriptor of the (conversion)gamemode, not of the method of conversion

It's actually really good cause it is overpopulated though. Nothing gives ah ard-on like a 50 marine bayonet charge meme

It's funny because although there is all that shit, CM is literally just grab a gun and go shoot some ayys. The rest is just bloat user.

Admin intervention, the same way rule breaking is already punished
There's really not much difference between the two other than the amount of restraint used when attacking, and the type of weapons used

wouldn't work on our serb
for every roleplayer that would enjoy it there's 2 to 3 powergamers that would rush the band with chloral/pacidsmoke/whatever just because they are valid and for them turning sprites horizontal is the apex of fun you can have on spess.

Then don't make them valid
Boom, the perfect crime

having something so fucking simple done extremely poorly is a sign of bad and inexperienced coders
which is Veeky Forums in a nutshell
I was going to get test server footage of the pulling information but i literally can't even compile the code.

>Veeky Forums is the only ss13 codebase so broken you need to downgrade to 510 to play it properly

No other server does it at all.
And I already fixed most of it. Will PR later.

Quick, post your SoA description!

>broke: marene spose ta win
>woke: the film and game are a parable about imperialism and adventurist military organizations that are functionally social welfare programs. xenomorphs are the sympathetic party in spite of their predatory nature

post your static's theme song

youtube.com/watch?v=yWCJOR5cnkI
My static when she saw ______

youtu.be/4icqu_ErXBo

>4.5 hour long round
>Fucking NOTHING has happened in the last 3
Fucking end this shit already, or at least add some fucking antags

youtube.com/watch?v=15mP2uYUS-4

Whats your ckey so I can ban you for ick ock?

youtube.com/watch?v=jPl_1RpBK_4&user=UCL9t9YKAEf7rrgdO26ltj5g
He's the fastest surgeon in the Tau Ceti prefecture.

nigger it's not even hard to learn this shit if you can probably learn the important shit within a day

the rest is getting gud

cm and yogstation

pomf123

but user you didn't write anything

>tfw too much of a brainlet to manage to play only in CM
>tfw can't understand normal station roles

Doctor Ickocktopus

What's the fricken struggle?

I can't understand robust roles such as chemist, doctor etc, can only play cuckmarines and shoot ayys

>He doesn't play a real job
>He's a brainlet who can't set goals for himself
Hang yourself subhuman

>Chemist→smash the windows to open med. vomit pills in the lobby and ignore people
>Doctor→Smash the windows to open med. Bruise pack people. Follow the step by step surgery guide

youtube.com/watch?v=85mDyWCgHy0

>Get a second chance
>Squander it
God I need to go throw up

Mime and AI, best friends forever.

One day I will be as robust as you are!

>join as medical doctor with only chemist as other medbay staff
>get in medbay
>stuff is everywhere
>blood is everywhere
>10 bodies just there
>they are all revivable
>manage to clone or defib all of them, then heal all the others
good round CMO you did good you russian bastard

youtube.com/watch?v=p_AY5pAAbQY

Join now to prevent extended

read the wiki

Describe what top tier clowning looks like.

Describe what top tier miming looks like.

>start round as a plasmaman IAA
>try to make the station more friendly to plasmamen
>encourage ideas from the crew
>hack into the captains office, all access and renamed to "Plasmaman Liason Officer", leave the ID in the console
>mess around with people, teach the RD science, dunk the chemist for being a shitter
>RD is making an AI and so I volunteer

>mime writes 'Silicons lessthan three' on paper
>don't understand
>borg explains to me the meaning
>become best friends with mime
>mime plays piano in upload, then shoots self

>subversion by Moore and his emagged borgs
>one human, don't mention, don't kill
>ION LAW
>cue three hours of coercing the crew to make a console on the vox station, killing people to encourage them to find the clown and bring them alive to my upload, and being passive aggressive to the traitor who subverted me because they did't understand law order
>eventually get fixed
>four different core modules get uploaded, finishing with asimov by the mime
>the mime saved the day
>the mime then takes me to the shuttle and shoots himself in front of me again

That was a great round and a terrible round. Four hours of hell.

There was a small plasma fire which I'd just finished cooling down. If you arrived 10 minutes earlier, you'd be one of the bodies. Good timing!

and thanks to the engineer for making a Plasmaman friendly shuttle

You the best

A graceful tumble into a decapitating katana strike on the HoS

>>mime writes 'Silicons lessthan three' on paper
Actually, the paper had a picture drawn on it that I was trying to show you through cameras, but I guess it showed up as blank. It was this: imgur.com/Of2JUH9

My plan was to cozy up to you and then make you watch me suffer and die a bunch, powerless to stop it.

Things didn't go exactly as planned, I guess.

youtu.be/v3pXNTCeevo
>when you epic robust le clown awesome-style

clown: making jokes that are actually funny
mime: doing plays that make you think/are actually funny

Oh, yeah that didn't show up.

And you managed your plan twice. I was the one mashing the "CLONE" button the first time.

never enter medbay you filth

>I was the one mashing the "CLONE" button the first time.
Amusingly, I had gone afk to cook some rice. No joke.

>Someone please write a guide to cult that's not just an explanation of how the stupid words minigame works.
Write a WHAT YOU SHOULD AND SHOULDN'T DO AFTER BEING CONVERTED which is what people actually check the wiki for.

okay
I just made this
it's written poorly and missing some key pieces of information but maybe it'll help a bit

Being the hero the station deserves, but not the one it needs right now
Because they can take it
Because they're dicks
Because it'd be funny

clown: walking race riot, effortlessly pisses everyone off and gets away with it

mime: esoteric european extreme shit, is neither seen nor heard from, leaves on a pod

If someone doesn't feel scared around a clown, they're not a good clown.

They should always be prepared to be slipped or flashed, tied to chairs, and left alone in areas of the ship a clown shouldn't be able to access.

>only chemist as other medbay staff
Dear god, the horror.

>clowning
Funny and unpredictable. His entire life is literally just one big string of jokes, be it played upon him or the rest of the crew.
>miming
Dead and spaced. The ultimate silence.

Practical jokes (that aren't just lol I steal ur shit xd or lol i loob xd), being 2 steps ahead of Security, humilliating the antags, getting away with it all

Suicide, not playing, giving the ling a free succ

>tfw you look through the last rounds logs and realise you were calling out someones name wrong half the round

Med got blasma'd. Then the shocking's started despite having bought over 20 insulated gloves

Can't stop wont stop. All that saved time is orgasmic

*ZASses your pills*

>*laughs at plebs digging through pill piles*
You should have seen the aneurysm people had the time I had them on a conveyor like a sushi shop. The max transfer jogged them so it was impossible to find what you wanted

>tfw when you're the reason why conveyors have max transfer and closets/crates have max storage

>>tfw when

kys

>not disassembling the wall and rotating the windows to make it look nice.
>not writing instructions on the floor and wall with crayon
Anybody can break glass and wirecut grate.

1) Unban 2hotdogs
2) Deus Ex 1 with head tracking aiming / joystick aiming / realistic / one life no saving / by any means / no glitches / headcanon story

twitch URL: 2hotdogstv

where do I download the lobby music?

>headtracking aiming
gee 2spicyweiners I never knew you were such a casual

when are you streaming

Holy shit, goon lags so much
And it's not even the normal respectable kind of lag, it's some eldritch asshole lag that doesn't recognize inputs unless you draw them out by doing them multiple times
I have to double click on fucking everything
I have to double middle click to change goddamn hands
What the fuck