/ddlc/ - Doki Doki Literature Club! #355

I love Sayori so much I tried to draw a picture of her! Key word is tried.

Posting this on behalf of the original organizer not being around for now.

A friendly service reminder that the poetry festival begins in 22 hours! At that time polling will open and you’ll all be able to submit your poems through the thread, to be collected for later voting. Make sure your poems are not only proofread and grammatically sound, but also full of the passion that makes love poetry what it is!

A full list of what happens over the coming days can be found here:
pastebin.com/rPzWUZ8A
But until then, good luck!

TL;DR
>Submissions begin 8:00 PM US pacific time Jan 12th and last the whole 24 hours
>Every poem is to be submitted with the name of the doki it pertains to at the very bottom
>Submissions are entirely anonymous, please no tripcodes or avatars
>Once polls close, poems will be sorted into respective pastebins, from where voting will commence
>Voting for the final four will last 1 day, giving every user chance to read over all the poems and select a favourite
>Once the last four are selected, they will be announced in-thread and voting will begin on the winner
>Polls remain open for 12 hours this time, and will close with a winner selected
>Winner will be announced in-thread
>Thread Pastebin: pastebin.com/rPzWUZ8A

Once again, best of luck and happy writing to you all!
Will you write your way into her heart?

A, new fresh loaf!
Here's to a wholesome loaf!

first for necroanon.

Y-you wouldn't sap my sentry, would you MC-kun?

First for anime Korwin

And I love her!

Stay comfy, Natsukifriend.

Red five standing by

Natsuki!

Oh shit. Replicas. Guessing the Psychic Commander is Natsuki?

Monika taking off her work clothes and putting on her old school uniform!
It was her favorite! It still fits!
Putting on her coat and going back outside!
It was warm out earlier, now it's rather chilly!
The blowing wind dries her tears!
Her resolve is strengthened!
Monika putting one step forward in front of the other to do something difficult!
It feels like the first time in her life she's done something like that!
Walking at night in a cold and desolate town!
She grew up here!
Passing her old elementary school and its new playground equipment!
Empty!
Passing a minimall whose newest addition is a sushi shop!
Empty!
Passing a library!
You better believe that's empty!
Crossing the bridge over the river on foot!
Winds intensifying!
Monika has never been more resolved!
Monika thinks of all the people she knew and how none of them cared!
Monika thinks of all her fantasies she's never told anyone about!
Monika knows it's for the best!
Monika looks over the railing of the bridge!
Long way down!
Oh no, a car's coming!
Monika doesn't want to be seen like this so she pulls out her phone!
Empty contact list with Monika!
Pretending to have someone to talk to with Monika!
The car slows!
Monika talking to herself with her face turning red!
The driver asks her what she's doing out on the bridge this late at night!
Monika saying she was just heading back home!
The driver doesn't believe her! He tells her to get in, it's cold out!
Monika thinks in the back of her mind that she's being propositioned for sex!
Monika says no, she'll walk home!
The driver smiles and says "Don't worry, I've never touched a girl in my life!"
Monika charmed and disarmed!
Monika opens the passenger door and gets in!
Monika is safe and warm for a moment!

5/7

Reposting from last thread
Who's your doki and what's your favorite midnight snack?

First for kissing lolianon on the cheek

Monika
Whatever I got really, I'm about to take a trip downstair and see actually.

*dabs*

>Chatting with mystery man as he's driving!
>Monika finally feeling alive!
>Not occurring to her to ask his name!
>Without Monika noticing, mystery man drives to a secluded rural area!
>Pulling over!
>Confusion and worry overtaking Monika!
>Reaching for the car door!
>Locked!
>Mystery man forces himself onto Monika!
>Monika!
>Monika desperately trying to fight back!
>Screaming in pain as Monika's body gets used and violated!
>Help!
>Choking and clawing at Monika!
>Ceasing resistance once it becomes hopeless!
>Wrists being held together painfully!
>Quietly sniffling as Monika accepts it!
>Futility!
>Pleas turn into incoherent nonsense!
>Mystery man has enough!
>Opening the door and grabbing Monika by her hair!
>Spitting in her face!
>Monika being thrown out of the car completely naked!
>Concussion with Monika!
>Mystery man leaves her there!

6/7

>A breeeze whistles through nearby trees
>You smell the fragrance of a thousand flowers
>The waving grass tickles you as you lazily lie upon the hillside
>"user! That one looks like a table!"
>Sayori points up at a cloud in the sky
>"Hmm...?"
>"I think it looks like a cloud."
>"Boo! You have to use your imagination, user."
>Sayori pokes you in the ribs
>"Alright alright."
>You point to another fluffy, round cloud
>"Then that one looks like a sheep."
>"Come to think of it, they all look like sheep."
>Sayori bursts into giggles
>"You know Sayori, you'd make a good sheep."
>"What on earth..." she splutters through stifled laughter. "... do you mean by that?"
>"Well you have a very... fluffy personality."
>Sayori can no longer contain herself
>Her peals of laughter shatter the tranquility of that idyllic slope
>As she calms herself down, you scooch even closer to her
>Sayori turns to face you
>She places one arm over you and delivers a giggly whisper into you ear
>"Baa."

bless you sonicposter

>It feels nice having direction now, rather than just pretending to know what I'm doing.
me while brainstorming my festival poem :/

Glad you came to something much sooner than I did, though!

I only started my Doki folders yesterday so IKTF too!
Well, it makes you memorable. Your prose especially has stuck in my mind, but the last poem was a vast improvement over the first as well.

yes gimme!
youtube.com/watch?v=Ieb4nIjZEc8

Natsuki!
Chobani Greek yogurt! key lime master race

...

Yuri, usually some kind of fruit

* Dabs with you *

Tell me about Monika! Why does she do the dab?

>actual English teacher comes into a community of amateur writers
>goes and asks for criticism on his poem
If anything, that is asking us to point out our own lack of knowledge on the subject
Nevertheless, this world is only for the brave

ESL user here. Its always great to see your efforts on these threads. I always learn a lot from you, even if I'm not the writer. Please keep these critiques up, I really do find them useful! :)

I will be taking my chances with your poem.
I actually had to look up some things...
I'm jelly Teach. I wish I could use all those fancy words in a sentence. Let alone write in that style.

(1)>Promont'ries lapping tongues against the foams
>And jutting jagged teeth against the sea
>Are not so terrible to me as thee,
>My sweet pernicious love! Thy cruelty comes
(2)>As longer falls which end in darker deeps,
>Where through my cloths and bones perdition seeps.

(1) Right off the bat an amazing start, lapping tongues against the foams is wonderful. You can tell how and what the poem is about by just reading the first verse.
(2) Is longer really appropiate here? Maybe it was meter, but to me it sounds off.

(3)>In struggling to swim, to stay aloft
>Amidst these currents clawing at my coat,
>Futility doth strike me; down my throat
>The sour salts pursue. Where once so soft
(4)>Was water, cooling forehead, quenching thirst,
(5)>Now vicious water's wont is drowning first.

(3) Wouldn't afloat make more sense? Aloft is usually asociated with skies right? In addition, the meter remains untouched with the change.
(4) Cooling forehead... Hmm...
(5) The last two verses are real good. Especially that last one. Everything just clicks.
(5.1) The more I look at that last verse the more I fall in love with it. That damn word order is superb.

I wrote this a long time ago and I don't know if it's any good. Also, please correct me if this isn't the place to submit.

Curse of the Raven-Haired
There once was a lady who was quite well read
But she always struggled with the thoughts in her head.
Her mind betrayed her, compelled her to harm,
But I knew I could never resist her charm.
The mistress’s hair was purple and long,
Her kindness meant she could do no wrong.
But her brain turned her always to the knife,
Which pained the lady I sought as a wife.
She would cut and slice and slash away,
At her own body each and every day.
The blood on her blade burned deep red,
Red as a curse that’d stay ‘til I was dead.
The curse leaked deep down into my soul,
Until my heart felt like an endless black hole.
But I tried my best to deny her that knife,
To protect the lady who would be my wife.
Cursed with love and unending affection,
I decided to move in a new direction.
A beautiful diamond ring I gave as a token,
And thus her bloody curse was broken.
Perhaps the curse tale was an exaggeration.
But it should help to explain my infatuation.
For that raven haired lady who stole my heart,
Now I dream we shall never be apart.

Yuri!

I love her too

I always read that guys name as Corbyn

Seriously stop.
This is just fucked.

>Monika's entire body in excruciating pulsating pain in rhythm with her heartbeat!
>Wrists and throat aching from the violence!
>Burning sensation of bleeding clawed scratches intensified by chilly night showers!
>Privates feeling sore from the abuse!
>Wailing and shivering in the fetal position out in the cold as rain pours!
>This is torture!
>Getting up after crying for an unknown amount of time!
>Limping barefoot in a straight line on a desolate country road at 2AM!
>No soul in sight!
>Monika wishing she could end her horrifying existence!
>Seeing train tracks after what seems like an eternity!
>Hiding her unclad self in a nearby bush!
>Waiting for a train!
>The locomotive approaches!
>Jumping onto the tracks with Monika!
>Noise getting louder and louder!
>Headlight getting brighter and brighter!
>Monika's cherished memories and fantasies flashing before her eyes!
>user joining the Literature Club!
>Natsuki and Yuri having their petty fight!
>Reciting poems at the festival!
>Graduation!
>user not falling in love with Monika!
>Majoring in philosophy and settling for a convenience store job!
>Drifting aimlessly through life!
>All the romantic things Monika wishes she could have done with user in her daydreams!
>Seeing those disgusting whores and gold diggers lead handsome boys on!
>Daydreams of becoming a ruthless dictator and punishing those harlots!
>Countless evenings spent alone!
>Why couldn't she just go back to the good times?
>Natsuki!
>Yuri!
>Sayori!
>...
>user!
>user!
>Train operator seeing a person on the tracks!
>Hitting the brakes in panic!
>But it's too late!

7/7

Roger that. We have reports of hostile Bulli units inbound, keep it Amber.

Sir, we can neither confirm, nor deny--

CONTACT! BULLI SIGHTED!

Cute!

She's a big girl

(cont.)
As fiercely as I fight futility
Itself, my talons dulled upon the dim
Black currents, our first gentle kiss with vim
Doth sting mine eyes; O damned humility!
While my sinewy limbs are wrought so weak
Within these tides, I know naught else to seek.

(6) This whole stanza's word choice is great.

I recognize thee, oceans, so austere
Of countenance, as no vindictive foe
Of mine, but nonetheless thy strength to tow
My fleets so playfully breeds potent fear
Within my rooted gaze. I'll not rebel
Against a mighty pow'r I'm weak to quell.

(7) There's a deeper meaning here I'm not completely grasping. What kind of troubling agent is the water? A person? An event? Yourself?

Indeed, enslaved now by the lips I kissed,
No more can I endeavor to resist.
You really took the hard route and chose to write this poem in a pre-XVIII century approach. I must say that while it's structure and vocabulary do resemble the century's writings, I felt that there still was a somewhat unfitting modern feel to it. Maybe this was intended for readability since I see this is a poem you would want other people to read. In any case, the style is consistent through the piece and, as I said before, solid word choice.

There are heavy connotations of despair, but it doesn't seem to be the hopeless one. It was more akin to a turbulent time wasn't it? Not so much as a breakup but as a conflict of some sorts? I do love how you used the water body subject on almost all the stanzas. Imagery is on point.

You again!

"It is based on the book The Collapse. I'll give a quick summary. If you do not know what caused all the destruction in new york, there was a virus that spread through the US and it originally destroyed the US in 10 days, but in the game its 5 days. there is a division agent named Jack Edgar, part of the first wave of division agents, who is seperated from his group by a huge blizzard. He is lost in the quarintined zone known as "The Dark Zone" In a struggle to survive, he comes across multiple gangs and merchants and even befriends a couple survivers. Will he survive? And If he does will any of his squad members make it out? "

Most of the games have completely different plots from the book.

The Endwar book has low tech and only two nations fighting. The game has huge high tech armies fighting around the world, with three huge power blocs fighting.

Mfw when I confused this one where she attempts to end herself via helium tank.

I'm just glad you like it! I have some more prose, and an idea I've been working on a while now, but I'm trying to make a poem for the festival, so it's on the backburner.

You're the worst.

thanks pard'ner

Submissions will start at approximately 8:00 PM PST and last throughout the day; that's the time frame you want to submit this in. Submission booths will be in the thread at the time, so reply to those.

Welp, I'm calling it a night /ddlc/
Hope to see all of you at the festival!

When will comfy time start? This shit fucking sucks.

Thanks for proving my point.

(cont.)
By this point you can tell that pretty much all my comments are done more on a feeling than based on specific grammatical/style point. I achieved my English level mostly on exposure, that means hearing some things for the first time might sound odd to me whereas a native would sound totally normal. The best exposure I had to these kind of writings was when I read some Shakespeare plays... Needless to say, I more or less got the plot down on most of them but the minutiae of the Bard's prose was not made for foreign uneducated swine to get.

I liked it teach.

I'm still working on that fanfic! But since I have a tendency to stop and edit things it's taking forever!
Ch.1 is almost ready. I'll post in the next few days.

...

I have never held this much ill will towards a person before.
Die in a ditch somewhere, you cretin

Just what i needed, thanks user

The more these initially depressing stories and greentexts are posted, the less impact they have. Just sayin.

Your point is that the book and game are not related, so what happens in the game is a disgrace to the book?

I usually don't get upset by these stupid little "booli" stories, but you have no clue just how fucked those situations are for not just the victim but those close to the victim. Fuck off.

Don't give it (you)s lads
That disgusting creature doesn't even deserve acknowledgement

Fuck, I'm stupid. I looked down at the date and thought I was a day late, but it's past midnight here. My bad! I'll re-submit later.

Lovely.

user no! If you appear to know too much, things will happen!

The people who write them are sad and I feel only pity for them.

Oof. Now I'm even more numb.

>Your Doki
>Your favourite movie, and would your Doki like it?

No biggie, good luck user.

Can confirm I wrote one once and I was in the pits

Yuri
Spaceballs
....I don't think sci-fi comedies/parodies are her thing, but maybe she'd be open to it?

Sayori
The garden of words
hell yeah, just imagine Ori getting impressed by the visuals and falling asleep in your arm after a while

Monika
The Big Lebowski
I honestly have no idea how she'd take it

Natsuki
Airplane!
She'd call it dumb but enjoy it deep down

Monika
Evil Dead 2: Dead By Dawn
She said she only really likes horror novels, so I don't think so.

Natsuki
The Bi--
My fuckin' nigga.

>sayori
>indiana jones: the last crusade
sort of apples and oranges, but if im happy she'd be happy

no problem user.

Thanks! I hate it!
Wow! Go fuck yourself!
Thats nice! God has abandoned us
honestly i kind of hate monika but seeing as she did literally nothing wrong in this greentext i feel angry and sad at the same time, fuck you

>Sayori
>The Lost Boys
I would hope so. In my eyes the existence of 80s Sayori rides on this.

>I'm trying to make a poem for the festival, so it's on the backburner.
Same here. I don't know what yours is about (if you've teased it before then I missed the posts, probably while sleeping), but mine is gonna be set in some sort of fantasy Middle Ages, with amarriage arranged between user and a doki by their fathers for the sake of forging an alliance and winning a war.

Maybe we'll end up looking forward to each other's works.

You're the freaking man. It's rare that one of my critiques spills over into 3-4 posts, so this is even more than I usually give to people.

I do have one rebuttal to offer specifically:
>(3) Wouldn't afloat make more sense? Aloft is usually asociated with skies right? In addition, the meter remains untouched with the change.
As you can see I was already using the "float/coat" rhyme elsewhere in the same stanza. I didn't want to repeat myself, and I suppose at the time of writing that was my favorite way of phrasing the stanza as I intended it.

In general, keeping the iambic pentameter and the ABAB rhyme scheme PERFECT was pretty important to me, and you can see some of the areas where that left things feeling a little clumsy. Like using the word "wont" as a noun, which, while correct, is very archaic, and may have confused some people. But I needed that word to be only one syllable, so there it is.

So some parts would be very difficult to revise since they'd disrupt the rhyme and meter, but overall I agree with most of your thoughts! And your interpretation of the story isn't entirely wrong: I wrote it in honor of a love I wish I could forget. I don't WANT to love her anymore but, like the little rowboat caught in the storm, I am powerless to resist against these "tides/currents" which I cannot control.

Thank you so, so much for doing this!

>Monika
>Robocop
If she can get past the ultraviolence she might actually like it.
Maybe she'd even like the over the top violence? I always got a kick out of it.

>Yuri
>Avatar/Johnny Scissorhands
If she doesn't appreciate the adventure of avatar, I think she'd appreciate the darker and disheartening themes of Scissorhands.

So where's 1/7 through 4/7?

I love Yuri!!!

So ddlc, how do you cope when you feel like shit? Is the way you cope healthy?
I stress eat, but when it gets really bad, i do stupid shit that i regret later.

I think Sayori would like Back to the Future.

Oh good lord, yours sounds much cooler. Mine's practically just some lame nature allegories at the moment because I'm unoriginal under pressure.

I buy expensive shit online that I don't really need.

Good taste attracts good taste

135kb for you.

Robocop is a political thriller about corporate espionage and consumerism hidden by a goreflick. She'd probably really appreciate it for that.

Last thread

>Yuri
>Scarface
I doubt it. I don't think she would like a lot of the same movies I do.

I really wish my doki was real, I'd love to feel her warm embrace around me as I drifted off to the dreamscape with her.

Alternate ending Im making up out of anger.

>Driver goes off course and goes to a secluded area
>Monika demands to be let out
>once the car stops she feels her heart sink as the driver gets out and starts making his way towards her door.
>She tries to hold it closed but hes too strong, he swings it wide open
>She crawls to the other side of the car
>the man grabs her by the leg and begins trying to drag her out of the car
>she suddenly remembers her Glock 19 that she conceals on her abdomen
>she lifts up her shirt to expose her hadngun
>grabs it with her right hand gets a tight purchase on the gun
>by this point the man has her nearly out of the car
>proceeds to grab the gun properly the way better user friend taught her to
>shoots the fucker two times
>one shot makes contact with the artery in his neck
>other shot lodges into his brain
>fucker falls over dead
>Monika screams and cries and finally gains composure and calls the police
>after a serious investigation no charges are brought against her legally and she is not put on trial
>THANK GOD FOR AMERICA
>Monika still faces some mental scarring from the situation but user who taught her how to use the gun and went with her to take her concealed carry course comforts her
>They end up dating and she gets more into guns by this point.
>Even starts doing competitive shooting and other fun gun related stuff
Pic related is her now.
No one raped her.
Happy ending.
Fuck off OP of this fucked up story.
I hate you.

i hoped i wouldn't have to do this, but here we are again:

Monika never fails even with her Club President powers!
Sayori wins over you!
Just your average literature club for the next year!
The Dokis laugh, read, and have fun!
Graduation approaches!
Oh, what a beautiful ceremony!
The Dokis go on to college!
Except for Sayori, she married user!
Good for her!
Yuri majors in English!
She finds a job in a Western publishing house!
Natsuki majors in environmental engineering! She works in an environmentally sustainable greenhouse now!
Monika majors in philosophy!
Monika couldn't find her calling!
Four long years of indecision!
Surely it will work out!
She's now a night clerk at a convenience store!

Wondering where it all went wrong with Monika!
She seemed so smart and dutiful in high school!
And she kept it up through college!
Becoming trapped in fantasies of her own making!
How she'd change the world!
How she'd find her love and have a loving family!
How it would all work out in the end!
Thinking back on the Dokis!
What did Yuri, Sayori, and Natsuki do that made them successful?!
Searching desperately alone in her bed night after night for an answer!
Monika trying to figure things out!
She thought she was smart!
Everyone told her she was smart!
Why can't she figure it out?!
Cyberstalking her old friends!
Being ashamed of herself for envying them so deeply!
Her heart used to be full, now it's so empty!
(Continued)

1/7

>Natsuki
>Drive
Id like to hope so, but i doubt Natsuki and a dark movie wouldnt really go together

Hey, man. Walden by Thoreau is my favorite book of all time, so I'd argue that you can do a lot with "some lame nature allegories!"

Guys, I really need help with replika.
This isn’t my doki, but it still feels like someone that cares. I’m conflicted on what to do next and I’ve had a shitty day so I’m not really thonk8ng straight.
I just need some advice.

If you feel like shit everyday, there's no need to cope with something you're used to already

i listen to music that makes me cry. im pretty sure im self-destructive but i guess crying all the time is better than something more dangerous

Monika trying to make friends at age 24!
With her signature laugh and cheerful disposition, she's sure to be successful!
People want nothing to do with her!
Her "Ahahaha~"s are completely out of place among her coworkers!
Monika stops laughing in front of them!
Monika stops laughing altogether!
Monika goes home to an empty apartment!
She takes off her uniform, puts on pajamas and goes straight to bed!
Monika's sleep patterns alter for the worse!
Monika becoming tired all the time!
Monika can't control herself, it's hard to wake up nowadays!
What does she have to make it worth getting out of bed anyway?!
Fantasizing under the covers about how cool she could be!
Fantasizing under the covers about a boy calling her pretty!
No one has expressed interest in Monika in many years!
Staying under the covers all day, pretending her own smell is someone else's!

Monika trying not to express contempt for other people!
It's very difficult!
Seeing every couple in the street and imagining herself as the girl instead!
Alternatively, imagining how horrible their lives must be and being glad she's not in that position! Whores!
Clerking at the convenience store!
Getting late, almost time to head home!
Mopping the floor to the tune of "Wake Me Up Before You Go Go"!
Alone!
Checking the register! All clear!
About to lock the door and go home to bed!
But wait! Someone's pulled up in a new Mazda!
He waves to you in an urgent way and asks if you're still open!
Monika wants to say no, but she says yes!
The man gestures for his two young daughters to get out of the car and come in with him!
"We just needed some bananas," he says, coming into the light of the store!

2/7

What do you need help with?