It's 336 BC and you're Alexander, what do

Those threads are fun

Invade Italy

Get slaves to kill mosquitos

After capturing Persia and Egypt, move further west in North africa then back up through Spain to encircle and choke the roman empire to death before its even born
Fuck india, I want my Macedonian Mediteranean region NOW

get poisoned and die

Conquer Arabia and introduce Hellenistic religions and ideas in the region. Try to divide and conquer as many bedouins as possible to cicumvent Islam from ever happening. Is there anyway I can prevent Christianity from as Alexander? Maybe remove some jews? Nothing against jews but I don't want the monotheism shit making everything boring later.

This.
The Etruscans and Magna Graecians are proper fucked, along with those Literallywho Latins.

Name Bucefalus as my heir

forever pagan earth pls

Conquer Arabia, invent Christianity but based on worshiping me as the Christ, use some of the fittest memes from Islam (praying five times a day, additional taxation and subjugation for non-believers, very easy to join but impossible to leave) alongside memes from Christianity (render unto Caesar, love one another, guilt based over shame based) and even stuff like Buddhism (mainly just the value of meditation).

Have Kassander strangled and send Roxane back home to live with my mother.

Get some prime boypussy.

You're at Persipolis reclining in luxury when this guy sacks Tyre and demands you relinquish your empire to him. What do you do?

Keep in mind he's the son of Zeus-Amun and probably insane

>wake up a manlet
kill myself I guess

>Killing yourself instead of harnessing your manlet rage to literally move the earth
kys

This seems like it would be a more interesting thread.

Fuck/get fucked by my bff.

This. Everything else is wrong.

take out the jews first and christianity and islam won't ever arise

Weren't most Alexandria's named after Alexander himself died?

Claim the gods revealed germ theory to me in my sleep and be autistic about fucking everything and everyone being as clean as possible. Try to set the foundations of some semblance of scientific method and write down fucking everything I know about the modern world.

Then still die at 30-40 of an impacted wisdom tooth because lolnoantibiotics.

March into the Levant and exterminate every human being residing there.

Do the same thing in the Arabian Peninsula.

Boom, no more Christianity and Pisslam.

Celebrate by boning a few dozen Persian slave girls and boys, then drink myself to death with wine.

And more importantly no more... JEW-DAY-ISM