Be me, 23 year old Roman Foot Soldier

>Be me, 23 year old Roman Foot Soldier
>In Germania commanded by some fat syrian fuck
>FML
>Doesnt matter because only shitty barbarians live around here
>Kek.jpeg
>Going through some forest
>In this very long column with smelly men all around me
>Rainy and muddy, my feet hurt like hell
>Buddy to the left of me tells me that the barbarians like to rip peoples ribcages open and flap them like eagles
>I give him a face of doubt and keep going
>Suddenly hear loud screeching and the pounding of feet on the ground
>Can't see shit cause its so foggy
>See a half naked man with a 16 foot spear charging out of the woods
>Fucking barbarians I swear
>Soon javelins start to cuck our entire legion
>Scared as fuck thinking about what my buddy said earlier
>Feel a sharp pain in my back
>As I fall I see a naked man with paint all over his body yelling
>mfw The Great Roman Empire cucked by naked barbarians

>Fucking barbarians
Glory to Rome.

>it aint me starts playing

>16 foot spear

Fuggin tutenburger forest.... fuggg

>be smelly Germanic barbarian
>autistically repulse romans from your lands
>every other roman-occupied territory around you develops a more enriched civilization while you continue to squat in dirt
>can't catch up to the rest of Europe culturally or technologically until a thousand years later

>naked
Meme. The tribes that came to conquer rome were fully clothed in whole more often than not, and decently armored on top of that.

>can't catch up to the rest of Europe
Thats why you burn the rest of Europe down and level the playfield. Chekmate Romans!

>after 1000 years, fuck up, sperg out and murder millions
>collective guilt so strong that you wipe out your own culture by importing smelly barbarian peasants
>Germania returns to being a hellhole

isn't history grand?

>cucked
Fuck off

The Tribes didn't try to conquer rome wtf

>Feel a sharp pain in my back
>my back
>back

You deserved it pleb.

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>legiones redde

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>cucked le cucked KEK

wow sure is FUCKING KILL URSELF IN here

Syrian? Varrus was the governor of Syria not a Syrian, I swear to God its impossible to tell if some people on this board are trying to trigger people or are genuinely that fucking stupid.

user, think for a second. This OP was enough of a fag to write that horribly cringy, horribly unfunny greentext, there was never a chance of him getting it right.

FUCKING ROMANS GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY FOREST REEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

>that muslim beard
lol

Don't you know the Germanics knew Allah?
Don't you know the Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) had gone out among the barbarians?!

The filfthy Christians are the ones that oppressed them and removed Islam from their ranks

Germans are original neck-beards - conformed.

>German Pleb
>Starving
>Getting Shit on by Romans for Starving and being shit
> Flash forward to 1942 treated like Jews
>Romans leave to go Fuck Dachia for existing
>Less Romans
>Still Cunts
>Unite with other plebs
>Fuck Varuses un-lubed asshole
>Romans Never return
>Starve and continue to be shit, but at least its home
>Fast Forward to ice age
>Flee to Roma cause its cold as balls
>Roman Army now has almost no Romans just a bunch of sand niggers and old men
>Stupid Emperor lets you cross Tiber in hopes you will fight for rrome.
>Fuckthat.jpq
>Settle around Rome and stuff
>Treated like shit but better the starving.
>Learn Latin and become a non neck beard
>Still shit
>Rebel
>Wreak Rome and Friends with actual warriors
>Achieve zen
>Die

*autistic screeching*

You can't write like this

Pick Up 4 Chan.
Attempt Green text, Fail.
Cry inside.
Tutor me wise one!

>>>>>>>>>reddit

came to as in it happened not as in their intent