Shia

>Shia
>Muslim
>Monotheist

PICK ONE

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A takfiri zionist polytheist fire-worshipping professor and shiite mullah was teaching a class on Ali, a known kuffar.

”Before the class begins, you must get on your knees and worship Ali (peace be upon him) and accept that he was the most holy being the world has ever known, even greater than Muhammad!”

At this moment, a brave, devout, Sunni islamist champion who had bombed 1500 Shia temples and understood the necessity of jihad and fully supported all military decisions made by Saudi Arabia stood up and held up a copy the Quran.

”Who is the true defender of the faith, pinhead?”

The arrogant professor smirked quite Persianly and smugly replied “The Ayatollah, you stupid Sunni”

”Wrong. Muslims don't worship a flame and 12 false prophets. If your Ayatollah is, as you say, the defender of the faith… then he would be ruling Mecca and Medina by now”

The professor was visibly shaken, and dropped his chalk and copy of The Avesta. He stormed out of the room crying those Iranian crocodile tears. The same tears Iranians cry for the “Shia” (who today live in such apostasy that they draw pictures of the prophet) when they jealously try to claw justly earned wealth from the deserving Saudi royal family. There is no doubt that at this point our professor, Xerxes Khamenei, wished he had accepted the one true faith and become more than a jewish crusader puppet. He wished so much that his cult had legitimacy from the historical khilāfa, but he himself had rejected it!

The students applauded and all destroyed false idols that day and accepted Muhammad (pbuh) as their prophet. An eagle named “Abu Bakr” flew into the room and perched atop the Saudi Arabian Flag and shed a tear on the chalk. The Shahadah was recited several times, and Allah himself showed up and enacted a Zakat tax across the country.

The professor lost his tenure and was beheaded the next day. His body was eaten by vultures which burst into flames and died as well.

Allahu Akhbar

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Do we really have to have a million muslim threads on every fucking board

I dunno, I think the muslim shitposting brings variety, I'm bored of the endless deus vult and catholic vs protestant threads.

>Veeky Forums - history & sunni propaganda
Why don't you sand niggers stick to "debating" eachother on TV so we can get more dank memriTV memeri.

Shias are Indo-European and somewhat white so that makes them automatically better than Sunnis.

I can think of another reason why they are better.

>tfw i just want to talk about history from an academic angle and it's all biased shitposting about religion and politics

wtf i love shia islam now

Are Christians monotheists, with their scores of angels, demons, prophets, apostles, saints, and other minor deities?

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So it's basically just sunnis and commies doing all the terrorisms?

>all secular/political terrorists are commies

'no'

You know a REALLY good chunk of them are

No, that other category includes ALL political terrorism. It's a basket of many unrelated movements.

i think ethnic nationalists would make up a larger chunk

1. Say (O Muhammad ): "It has been revealed to me that a group (from three to ten in number) of jinns listened (to this Qur'an). They said: 'Verily! We have heard a wonderful Recital (this Qur'an)!

2. 'It guides to the Right Path, and we have believed therein, and we shall never join (in worship) anything with our Lord (Allah).

3. 'And exalted be the Majesty of our Lord, He has taken neither a wife, nor a son (or offspring or children).

4. 'And that the foolish among us [i.e. Iblis (Satan) or the polytheists amongst the jinns] used to utter against Allah that which was wrong and not right.

10/10

>that attack-to-dead ratio for Christians
It's about precision.

Blame the Safavids

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>Abrahamic
>monotheism

You're just unilaterally worshiping the war god of the Semetic pantheon.

But the fact of the matter is, Shia have proven themselves capable of culture and moderation, and the vast majority of Sunni haven't.

Where can I find more muslim memes

Shias are like the catholics.
Which makes them much better then the proddyshit sunnis.

>Xerxes Khamenei

Who is this Fatima goddess? The Shia equivalent to the virgin Mary?

You have a good point, Catholics are heretics like Shias.

Anyone have the version that ends with "and not a single man named Ali or Kazem was in sight"

Muhammad's daughter

It's also the name of an apparition recognized by the RCC.

These are making me like Shia.

This is honestly one of the best memes to have come from Veeky Forums

Shia are based. Brave as fuck, and also much smarter than the average Sunni. There's a reason Hezbollah is kicking the crap out of the Sunni militias despite Hezbollah starting off as a low level insurgency group and the mujahideen fighting the full might of the Soviet military.

>quite Persianly
kek

Would have been better if it was "you stupid kaffir"

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>dropped his chalk and copy of The Avesta
Needs to be "The Complete Works of Ferdowsi".

I'll pick Shia any day of the weak

A backward, moronic and unwashed farsi shiite scum was teaching a class on ali, known heretics.

"Before the class begins, you must get on your knees and shah ismail, the greatest Sultan that the entire islamic world has ever known!"

At this moment, a brave, pious muhajideen who had served 1500 tours of duty and understood the necessity of jihad fi sabil Allah and would give his life for Ibn Taymiyyah stood up and held up a copy of the quran.

"How important is the The Twelve Imams, munafiqun?"

The arrogant persian smirked quite Jewishly and smugly replied "It is the soul of the Islamic faith, you stupid bedouin."

"Wrong. Everyone knows that the Shahada is the true creed of Allah. If Islam was about The Twelve Imams… then we would all be guilty of shirk by now."

The persian was visibly shaken, and dropped his chalk and his hummus. He stormed out of the room crying those persian crocodile tears. The same tears shiite scum cry for the zindiks while they were righteously purged. There is no doubt that at this point our kufr sultan shah ismail wished he had pulled himself up by his turban and become more than just a poorly disguished persian nationalist. He wished so much that he had a bomb to martyr himself, but he himself had made his islamic way of life into a jahilliyah parody of itself!

All the students applauded and accepted wahhabism as the only true version of Islam. The Prophet himself (pbuh) showed up and shed tears on how well preserved his teachings were and how there wasn't even a single person in sight named Ali or Haidar. The Quran was recited several times, and Allah himself showed up and executed Ali and every shiite kufr that ever lived.

The persian lost his tenure and was fired the next day. He died of poop germs in his goat and was tossed into jahannam.

Allah akbar.
P.S. Assad is a fag

>PS Assad is a fag

hahaahahaaa

>He wished so much that he had a bomb to martyr himself, but he himself had made his islamic way of life into a jahilliyah parody of itself!
kek

>his body was eaten by vultures which burst into flames and died as well

>anti-majoos
>that one video of a cockroach crawling around a Shia clerics turban in front of a mass of people
How will the Shia ever recover? And I used to think Shias were ok... Any Shias on Veeky Forums capable of refuting them?

Islam is shit and salafism is diarrhea.