What do you think of Jehovah's Witnesses, Veeky Forums?

heretical Arian cultists

This. They only recognize a single authority Jehovah.

Yeah she just couldn't resist getting rid of Christmas and birthdays out of her life forget!

euphoric

Socially accepted degenerates, like all other theists.

wut?

*tips*

Are Quakers degenerates?

...

>>>r/atheism

...

*tips*

True

Victims of a blatant fraud. Pity is about all I feel for them, wasting their lives and money shilling a con-artists "religion".

how so? are you sure you're not thinking of mormons?

a girl i was friends with in high school was one, felt sorry for her desu the only party she ever went to was on the last week of school and her parents knocked at my house once trying to give out pamplets

has anyone tried converting one to the truth of christianity?

They don't celebrate birthdays or any holidays. They truly some weird sons of bitches. I'd much rather have Quakers or Mennonites as neighbors.

Yeah they arent supposed to celebrate anything but god.

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jehovah's_Witnesses_practices#Memorial_of_Christ.27s_death

I don't give a shit.

JW's. Mormons. Seventh Day Adventists. Scientologists. It's all Americanized bullshit. The first three prove Protestantism was a mistake (as if that wasn't obvious from the start) and the fourth literally started out as a joke between two accomplished sci-fi authors and L Ron Hubbard to see who could start a new religion with a book. Sad thing is, one of the other authors was Frank Herbert. So instead of Scientology dipshits running around Hollywood we could have actual Bene Gesserits.

Presbyterianism is the ultimate Christian faith
Rest yall gonna burn in hell
Especially you fucking pedophile Catholics

God isn't real though so it doesn't matter. Both of you are being silly.

If you're really a Presbyterian you should believe that all those people who are going to burn in hell have no say over whether or not that's going to happen. Or even in what faith they follow. Hell, even you could end up burning in hell because God randomly decided not to save you at the beginning of time.

>pedophile Catholics
Was that an insult?

Where do you think we are?

t. shittalker who doesn't know the first thing about his own faith

>being this butthurt over not being part of the elect
>Catholic literally assblasted because he let the priest come inside his asshole in return for an indulgence

they're not allowed blood transfusions. if you get injured youre fucked. you accept blood they'll disown you.

>because God randomly decided not to save you at the beginning of time.

Thats an overly simplistic view of predestination user

They deserve hell

>randomly
He did it after the good council of His will

their shunning of deserters is a literal cult practice.

Pro-tip: Their door-to-door proselytizers will leave you alone for good if you say you've left the faith

Fake ass Mystery cult setting with a horrible lore

your religion schisms harder than dying empires christfags

why should I believe any of you about god when you can't even agree about god yourselves?

there is only one christianity

>why should I believe any of you about god

Do you like hell?

There's only one Christianity but dozens of denominations

If hell exists, it's much better than heaven, at least I'm used to suffering

In the most important sense, I find them to be disgusting religionists, because I know how their stupidity fucks up their progeny. At once they ought to immediately quit their faith and reject their god on general moral principles, and that is the first and most relevant reply to the OP's prompt.

That said, I shall now do a qualified defense of certain of the JW party line, as it goes to theology, and general morality itself, especially in view of the tragedy that human beings seem to need to have at least one deity in their lives (they shouldn't, but here we are flawed).

Basically, as the intellectual part of things goes as apart from the lived experience of the cult which damages lives as I've indicated above, the JWs are really better than mainstream Christians in this way: the doctrine of annihilationism. They dispense with the abhorrence of the possibility that stupid animal humans, flung into the universe wholly without their consent for an instant, can then in a slight wrong during that instant deserve eternal torment afterwards. This is an idea that deserves destroying, and at least the cultist JWs, not out of any innate moral sensibility on their part but at least out of a thoroughgoing bible reading, manage to reject.

Second, they actually do autistically read and analyze the bible, a text, and come to their conclusions upon that basis. Thus although based on false premises, there is at least a textual and intellectual process with a certain legitimacy at their core. I recently revisited the jw site and got into the theology , and they were quite straight about it.

Third, their world-rejective view seems to me to be reasonable, and it is also admirable that they have managed to skirt and evade governments - but not for the reason that their cult is true (it isn't), but because governments are false.

cont.

You should pick one of the ones that claims to have been around for two millennia. Don't trust anything less than a thousand years old. They don't know what they're doing.

so take your pic

time to get saved user

These, it seems to me, are qualified reasons to appreciate the jw mold, but they are far secondary to the damage that religion itself does by existing.

Also the pamphlets really are cheesy and interminable.

I put it to you that Scientology is worse because at the core of it is a cynicism. This isn't the case with JWs, though of course both are equally and coterminously false.

Why should I pick?
Saved from what?

Yeah, you fuckwads can't even agree that all of them get to go to heaven.

What happens if I just pick the wrong denomination? Whoops lol?

Extortion tactics are not an argument.

Your three choices are Catholic, Orthodox, and Coptic. I happen to be Catholic, so that's what I would encourage, but you will be far more right than wrong if you pick one of those three.

the one true holy lutheran faith

from everlasting damnation

...

better to pick one than have no chance at all user

You sound like bad salesmen

I suppose you could research which branch of Christianity has the most miracles/apparitions/correct prophecies, if you really want some hard data to quantify.

i hope another gnostic sect rises up to fuck with you retards

you sound like a fedora

John 5:24
Verily, verily, I say unto you, He that heareth my word, and believeth on him that sent me, hath everlasting life, and shall not come into condemnation; but is passed from death unto life.

muh edge

atheism is a false gospel

continuationism is a heresy

I just recently looked at Our Lady of Guadalupe, deep stuff, Idk if it's true but deep stuff.

If I were to become a Christian it would be me believing in a celestial Jesus who was never on Earth and was crucified in the lower heavens by Satan and his demons

sounds mormon-tier

There's no you get a world shit

Not in the Catholic Church it's not.

And Our Lady can do whatever she wants.

catholicism is a heresy

Not really seeing as Christianity started as a Mystery cult

Blasphemy.

euphoric

soul sleep is a heresy

Sure thing, buddy, whatever you say

that's heresy. You have the harrowing of Hell, though. And the patristic Christus Victor view of atonement.

Embarrassingly stupid neo-arians.
Also, they are really up-front about wanting a one-world government, which i find retarded(besides the fact that while most heavens in the history of religion have a transcendent air to it, JW's are basically "internationalist theosocialist utopia under the incorruptible rule of the Supreme Leader". After he does his global purge of counter-revolutionaries, of course).

That's because this is 2/10 tier proselytizing at best

Veeky Forums couldn't convert a wet paper bag

Pffft, like I give a fuck how you or anybody feels about it

they seem much more committed to their beliefs and devout than most christians i've met
even though they use a translation of the bible suited to their own interests most i've met seem to have the whole thing memorised.

Are they Young Earthers?

totally.

Jehovah's Witnesses believe in a form of evolution that occurs tens of thousands of times faster than scientists accept.

Jehovah's Witnesses teach that God created life "thousands" of years ago. Each original living creature is said to have evolved into a vast variety of closely related forms. For example, they believe God made an original cat (or two) which evolved into lions, tigers, jaguars, pumas, leopards, cheetahs, bobcats, caracals, servals, and so forth.

Evidently, this evolution of verities was complete within a very short time of creation. Adam and Eve are often pictured as living amongst a rich diversity of life, including domesticated animals.

The most amazing case of "hyper" evolution is said to have occurred only four thousand years ago. Jehovah’s Witnesses believe that all land animals, including birds, were wiped off the earth during the flood of Noah's day. Only a small number of original created forms were preserved alive aboard Noah's Ark. Then, immediately after the flood land animals once again evolved into all the varieties known today.

Faced with the limited size of Noah's Ark, Jehovah's Witnesses have suggested that just 43 kinds of mammals, 74 kinds of birds, and 10 kinds of reptiles were taken aboard. There are more than four thousand species of mammal, nine thousand species of bird, and eight thousand species of reptile alive today.

It is worth noting how quickly this "hyper" evolution starts and stops. Evidently, it was over so soon after the flood that no early civilizations took note of it. Certainly, no such rapid evolution occurs today.

jwbeliefs.com/jehovahs-witnesses-believe-evolution/

>Evidently, it was over so soon after the flood that no early civilizations took note of it

brilliant

It is the second best way of spreading religion. You approach people in a modest way in which you explain your religion and ideologies. I can see why they could be annoying, but I do respect them.