Which philosophers' teachings are most likely to get me laid?

Which philosophers' teachings are most likely to get me laid?

Nietzsche if you're trying to get into tumblrites pants

Kierkegaard

Epicurus

Stefan Molyneux

>waah I'm so sad to be alive, christianity is the only thing keepinh me from killing myself
How's that going to help OP?

Don't feminists hate Nietzsche?

...

just be smug as voltaire
all the time

At least here he is the only one bitches know.
They will think your some intelectual because you know a philosopher they know too.

Making women feel good gets you laid not actually having knowledge on kirigurato.

what?

Kant

This

Transcendental proofs will unleash waterfalls in their panties.

you kant seriously believe this

Sartre. Dude had a cock eye and still slingin dick all over france all while livin with his mom and stepdad that he hated.

They hate everything

Unironically Marx, commie bitches are complete whores

If you want to impress commie bitches, you'll have to actually know Marx. Much better to just study a little about a female leftist like Goldman or Luxemburg

Albert Camus
Jean-Paul Sartre

...

satre for sure
*sigh*

Explain

This. The wold is absurd, embrace it, and never care about rejection, just keep going and you'll find someone/get better at the whole thing.

I should listen to my own advice more.

Wrong. Love me some Kant but he dries up panties quicker than a traincrash

just read the Communist manifesto and make pretend to be a tru anti-capitalist revolutionary™ (*tips fedora*) and you'll fuck sjws like nothing

This, if your still in college.