What country are you from?

>You are wrong on both charges
Sweden had one of the biggest army in Europe after the 30 years war. They also had one of the most well trained armies at the beginning of the 1700 century

>At best we simply ruled the north and we never had an army strong enough to rival Russia.

You did. Russia was able to mobilize a larger army, but could not put all of it into action simultaneously.

>That never fucking happened

Sweden captured Moscow in 1610
Sweden capture Warsaw twice once in 1656, and again in 1705
the rest is false, Sweden laid siege to both berlin and copenhagen but they never made it into the city

Ahem, Sweden manufactured the majority of the world's firearms at the time. They were the best equipped, trained, organized, and provisioned in Europe. They beat the Russians quite badly during the Ingrian War and the Second Northern War, and in fact the Russians couldn't even begin to compete until after the Petrine reforms following the crushing defeat at Narva.

In 1610 they retook Moscow on behalf of the Tsar. In 1656 Brandenburg swore fealty to the Swedish Crown after the Great Elector confronted by the Swedish Royal Army in East Prussia and Karl X took Warsaw as well as the whole of Greater Poland. 1658 Karl took Copenhagen after marching across the frozen Baltic. So yes, all of that happened.

I teach Euro history, I know my shit. Now shut your whore mouth.

It's so sad that Swede doesn't know his own history. No wonder the whole nation worships the brown cock.

Brazil

>portugal stole our gold
>portugal were the bad guys
>a slave that escaped the farm and had his own slaves is a hero
>being a colony was bad
>being an empire was bad
>being a republic is awesome, much better than those elitists (still it bring us so much oligarchies and other problems...)
>being a dictatorship for the first time wasn't so bad
>back to democracy, not even a single good president
>back to dictatorship, but now we hate it because it killed 400 communists and torture others
>back to democracy with new republic, and oh its amazing, its so good
and not a single good president after getulio vargas and brazil isn't as good as our empire on the past
they don't teach you this in the school of course, because our school is extremely biased towards democracy and republic

>1946-2008: Finland goes from a poor agrarian shithole into a developed country scoring top marks in almost all metrics of national performance. To this day no one is sure how.
Really? There has to be some reason though

Britain

~50 AD: romans came and brought civilization

~1200: our medicine was worse than the muslims who were having an islamic golden age and we stole all their tech in the crusades

1700 to 1945: colonialism, slavery and imperialism, also ww2

this is literally all they taught us, my love of history came from video games and the internet

ww2 was mainly about the rise of hitler and the holocaust of course

WE WUZ EMPIRES N SHIEET
WE WUZ HITLER
WE WUZ FOREVER NEUTRAL (after soviets forced us, now everyone here has to love it)

guess which country

This.

At least Whig history was fun.

Canada
>colonization: muh noble savages
>deportation of the Acadians: the British did nothing wrong
>American Revolution: Quebec and Nova Scotia were the 2 colonies people ignore because they didn't join Georgie's chimpout
>War of 1812: we wuz militias and shieet
>Confederation: alcoholic moron John A. MacDonald takes Newfoundland's place at the Charlottetown Conference, fucks up everything. Canada eventually gains independence to more easily embezzle tax money to fund railroads run by MacDonald's friends
>the Red River Rebellion: Louis Riel was objectively wrong, but punishing him was still rayciss anyway
>the Boer Wars: dutchies BTFO
>WW1: Krauts BTFO, never forget the crucified soldier
>WW2: Krauts and dagos BTFO, never forget the 600 gorrillion
>modern day: we wuz keepin the peace and shieet

>and that I as a kid couldn't understand why anyone would follow a p2w religion
I still don't get it desu. letters of indulgences has to be one of the best examples you can point to of just how corrupt organized religion can be. How do you bounce back from that?

Finland
>Snowniggers
>Snowniggers labeled as swedes
>Civilized snowniggers labeled as autonymous citizens of Russian empire
>Independent Mongols killing each other in ideological fervor
>RUSSIANS REEE GET OUT
>OK WE GIVE UP TAKE THIS LAND RUSSIANS (reee)
>We be one of the best countries in the world now (:D)

>kurdistan
Swedes love kurds because muh gommunism

Brazil
>We wre colonized by Portugal
>We were slaveds
>We gain independence

>Now shut up and stop making a fool out of yourself

Wew. Everything you spewed out showed that you know nothing of your history, get a grip you pathetic mong. It's especially sad when i a finnish person know more about your history than you.

I wish we even had anything of note about Sweden in history. In grade school we pretty much skipped everything between the iron age to the French revolution; i.e the bit where Swedish history happened.

My school was fucking atrocious when it came to history

Well, our history is your history. Up to a point.

Oh yeah, I forgot:
>The dutch stole our colony in America.

cuck

>Sweden captured Moscow in 1610
No, it was Russian-Swedish army and it didn't capture the city because Moscow was under control of the government and besieged by rebels.

>He has larger knowledge of history on many subjects but since he knows of his own history his a cuck.

Wew

>>/pol/
>>/trash/

indoctrination since birth desu

sweden's history isn't yours, cuckboi

Ireland

"We tried"

It actually is you dumbdumb. We were literally sweden Österland to be precise.

USA
>Muh noble savages
>Period of relative autonomy as colonies
>All of a sudden Brits being fucking TYRANTS
>Win the war alone (with France too...)
>War of 1812: Get BTFO but we still got a white peace!
>Ante bellum years: Politics were absolutely dominated by slavery and tariffs
>Civil War in the South: We fought nobly for states rights!
>Civil War in the North: We fought nobly to free the slaves!
>WWI: Why'd they ignore Wilson's 14 points ;-(
>WWII: An epic clash of Fascism vs Democracy (may have some vets come in)
>Korean/Vietnamese wars: War is truly hell, will have some vets come in
>Rest of the Cold War: We showed them Ruskies!
>Civil Rights: Naughty whites are stopped once and for all, racism is abolished
I missed some stuff and didn't really get into the more modern shit but that's because we don't really talk so much about it.

>The Goths made all of Europe tremble, as Moscow, Warsaw, Berlin and Copenhagen all fell at some point to Swedish arms. So glorious. Such a shame.
I know you love the swedenYES! memes and all that and that's fine but how does glorifying war have any place in modern education? I always hear this. "You were so badass! The lion of the north maan! You used to be vikings!" It's like, yeah, and most other nations have had some succesful imperial/military period, but why would you paint that as a positive thing? It goes against all modern values.

and why should we care about [current decade] values if all it has going for it is that it's the [current decade]

>Sweden had one of the biggest army in Europe after the 30 years war
Because everyone else used up theirs
>They also had one of the most well trained armies at the beginning of the 1700 century
I never denied that
>You did. Russia was able to mobilize a larger army, but could not put all of it into action simultaneously.
Yet we where never able to beat them properly.
>Sweden captured Moscow in 1610. Sweden capture Warsaw twice once in 1656, and again in 1705
Your previous post made it sound like the Goths did all that.
Russia didn't lose any land to Sweden during the Second Northern War

Why even resort to this it's the current year argumentation? Warfare is always glorified and it has always been seen as more or less glorious. Granted post 19th century warfare is far from glorious.

i'm 99% sure you're either living or from stockholm, because only stockholm indoctrination can damage someone this hard

>if all it has going for it is that it's the [current decade]
I'm simply saying that that period should be taught as it was. And what it was was warring states going at it for honor and glory. And that also brought with it mass death and hardship. And teaching it that way is not some biased way to teach it. It's simply how it was.
>Why even resort to this it's the current year argumentation?
Yeah I fucked up a bit there, I only meant that there's no reason to glorify the war when we know that it was not only that, but there was also a lot of needless suffering that came with it. That's not some conspiracy, it's just fact.
see you're just proving my point, you're so in love with the glory of past wars that when negative sides of it are brought up you instantly resort to conspiracy and that there must be some indoctrination going on. It's pathetic.

You're so in love with beating yourself down that you're destroying your own nation, and your history. There's no other explanation but indoctrination for that kind of self-hatred

No, I am simply reluctant to paint a black and white picture. And while I admire the fact that these great figures lay the foundation for my nation I will not turn a blind eye to the negative things that brought with it.
It is you who see the destruction of culture and indoctrination wherever you turn because you're looking through that lens.

Denmark:
>vikings
>WE RULED ENGLAND
>Baltic crusades
>We owned Norway
>Christian IV fucks up everything but builds a lot of nice buildings in Copenhagen, loosing Eastern Denmark
>Failed colonization, we should apologize to the niggers
>We lost Norway
>We lost southern Denmark
>The nazi occupation

The occupation during WWII and the viking age is what most history teachers focus on.

You're reluctant to paint you or your kin in a good picture because you're indoctrinated to feel bad about yourself and others like you in order to better fit into the mass immigration of thirld world savages

Everything is related to mass immigration for you people isn't it? I know it makes you feel better about yourselves but it's getting to be really pathetic. It's hilarious to see your kneejerk reaction to everything that doesn't fit perfectly in with your narrow worldview. Just talking about deaths in a 400-year old war is enough to tie it back to [current year]. Please post more.

>savage tribes run around butt naked and build forts on swamps
>christened by germans, germans invade immediately afterwards
>1000 years of wars with germans start
>some treaties
>on and off wars with other neighbours
>some treaties
>we wuz kangz n shiet, we got that woman-king how progressive
>some treaties
>safe haven to oy veys and minorities during times of persecution
>oy veys and minorities sell us out to every single invader ever
>some treaties
>we wuz messiahs and shiet
>luckily muslims still avoid us after about 300 years of warfare
>some treaties
>fight 99% of our wars on our own lands
>occasional genocide with hohols
>no more treaties, dissapeared off the map
>non-stop failed uprisings even when not occupied
>we're back
>we're occupied again
>don't forget 600 million goy, maybe you did not shoah BUT YOU DID BECAUSE EU PARLIAMENT SAYS UR RACIST now donate to Israel
>nobody liked us then
>nobody likes us now

at least germans are getting their ficki ficki now

Guam:
>Southeastern Asians migrate to polynesia cause they get btfo by other tribes
>Use advanced ass navigational skills to find said island (fuck Moana)
>develop caste-based, matrilineal, cooperative community
>people start building big fucking stones for God knows what
>rinse and repeat
>Spanish fuck us up, and Catholicism settles in
>Americans btfo of Spain and took us as consolation
>Japs fuck us up
>Marines take back what they lost
>70's fight for more political power from the U.S.
> now, U.S. territory. So, it aint that shitty
But rn, we got some sort of "decolonization" meme going on that could essentially make me an illegal immigrant, so I hope that shit never comes to fruition

~1200: our medicine was worse than the muslims who were having an islamic golden age and we stole all their tech in the crusades

Fucking Elizabeth with her extra spy.

The Netherlands. It usually starts with the beginning of the 80 Years War against the Spanish and the Golden Age. Then the United East India Company and a few of it's exploits, the Tulip Bubble, Rembrandt, and a few Dutch-English wars. Unfortunately they leave out all the actually interesting stories, like the Dejima trading post, the wars in the Indian Ocean with Chinese pirate lords, and several stories of exploration, like the discovery of Australia and New Zealand. Even the conquest of the Spanish silver fleet is left out.
I also have a gut feeling that slavery is now a major topic in history class and that the name 'Golden Century' is going to be dropped soon.

Because modern values are shit. The only difference between imperialism then and now is that we make the brown people fight each other on our behalf. Peace in the modern era is a lie.

The reason the Swedes should be glorified for their military accomplishments is because they established a unique system that created a very lopsided balance of power in favor of the lower class, one that the rest of Europe wouldn't reach for another 200-250 years. She turned a state that otherwise should not have succeeded into a powerhouse.

There is glory in war, but not honor. Modern education likes to overlook the fact that the world is just as violent today as it was 400 years ago, and while the old guard may have calmed down their expansionist policies, the upstarts have carried the mantle forward. War is a positive thing for the victor; the primary purpose of war is to secure resources for your own people that you would not otherwise have access to because it's easier to take by force than it is to build yourself or trade.

Sweden had the first national army and formalized military administration. They had lost just as much as any of the other major powers except for Austria.

The Russians were beat on numerous occasions.

Swedes are Goths

And no, but they held back the Russians and kept the territory they had taken from Russia during the Ingrian War. That amounts to a victory, as it was first and foremost a Russian invasion of Karelia and Livonia

Those wars benefitted Sweden more than it hurt them, right up until the end (because Karl XII didn't know how to sign a peace treaty). That needless suffering inflicted on others brought great power and wealth back to the Fatherland and its effects were felt by the common people.

UK
>History began in 1850, nothing happened before that.
>What did happen post-1850 was bad, it was mostly Britain's fault.
>Hitler.
>Black civil rights.

Dirty Svears trying to steal Spanish glory. oooooonce more.

Explain

Aw... poor Poland. They... they tried.

GUSTAVUS
ADOLPHUS

basically this

Antikebabland
>The Nemanjici (from XXII to XIV century)
>Kosovo 1389
>First Antikebab Uprising (1804-1813)
>Second Antikebab Uprising (1815-1839)
>Balkan Wars (1912-1913)
>The Independence of Antikebabland (1878)
>Tito
>Karadjordjevic dynasty (from XIX to XX century)
and many more

tjing tjang tjung

Switzerland or Germany?

Canada
>First Nations came here long ago peaceful people disrupted by Europeans
>1812: Brits didnu nuffin, all Canadian work
>John A MacDonald greatest statesman ever for negotiating independence from Britain when Brits didn't want the North American colonies
>Louis Riel great hero for making another province
>WW1: Canadians are the greatest allied soldiers, they won in the final assault on Vimy
>WW2: we greatest merchant marine
>Trudeau was greatest PM for muh charter of rights
>Lester Pearson turned us into greatest peacekeeper

Osterreich?

>And no, but they held back the Russians and kept the territory they had taken from Russia during the Ingrian War.
Russia conquered some territories and held them for 3 years according to Treaty of Valiesar.
Returned them back because Russian-Polish war had resumed and Russia didn't want to be at war on 2 fronts. So you can call it diplomatic victory, not military.

>the Swedes ruled Europe

They ruled forsaken shitholes (Finland, part of the Baltics and Pomerania) which turned into bigger shitholes under swedish rule.

The rest of their glorious deeds consisted on Mongoling their way through Germany as subservient goys of the french jew master (whilst slurping metric tons of turk semen); Mongoling their way through Polan (whilsh slurping even greater quantities of turk semen); and try to Mongol their way through Russia.

Which was a mistake because the ruskies had learned by then how to deal with Mongols, and not even the Swede King showing up himself in Kebabland to request a new, extra, gazillion-tier suppy of turk semen to revitalize his men could change the outcome.

Which was a bukkake for King Cuck in the turkish dungeons and a gangbang on Sweden by all their neighbours, which, foe some strange reason didn't quite ended in the razing and total destruction of Sweden.

America

>native Americans were peaceful and friendly
>until the Spanish attacked
>John Smith founded the first colony
>they were all derps until John Rolfe found tobacco
>Religious Zealots make another colony for "religious freedom"
>get saved by Natives which they killed anyway
>colonies revolts against Britain for tax reason and they had it commin
>bought more clay from frogs
>Jackson is there and badass (except the killing natives part)
>Jackson the sequel launches manifest destiny to kill more natives and mexicans
>"but wait a minute? what about the slaves"
>CIVIL WAR (South shot first)
>slaves were freed and we never had a racial problem ever again
>Gilded age
>make awesome inventions like lightbulb, airplanes, and electricity (also awesome monopolies)
>progressive era, we made poor houses
>WWI probably happened during that time maybe
>worst amendment ever gets destroyed because too many gang members
>20s everything is a party
>Great Depression everything is a hangover
>New Deal fixes everything
>WWII, where America saves everything forever with the help of his friends
>Cold war were Americans fight commies for reasons
>also Vietnam war, the only war America lost
>9/11

Germany
>Roman stuff, Germans were unwashed savages who ran though the forest
>holocaust interlude
>HRE - skipped completely exept for some sitenotes on Luther and Gutenberg
>holocaust interlude
now it really starts
>Napoleon fucks us up
>muh German spring
>evil Prussians dont want democracy in 1948
>oh shit here comes dat chancellor
>Danes get btfo
>Austrians btfo
>Frogs trolled and btfo
>German empire foundet: A totalitarian dictatorship under the iron fist of Bismarck and his puppet king
>Willy the autist enters the stage and ruins everything
>WW1: We come to the conclusion that war is bad and Austria-Hungary started it while Germany fueled it into a world war
>1918: freedom time finally, SPD betrays muh freedom fighters (commies) to stabilize the country
>too much money but not enough food
>1924: things get finally better
>1928: things get worse again
>1933: conservashits think they can control the devil himself
>WW2: gets skipped almost completely, we rather talk about the results
>holocaust time
>Cold war:
>BRD: We talk about god chancellor Audenauer and his successor Brandt (we skip the NSDAP chancellor inbetween
GDR: We talk about GDR autism and the protests of 1953
>TEAR DOWN THAT WALL
>everybody is happy now and things only get better

Austria

>1658 Karl took Copenhagen after marching across the frozen Baltic

They besieged it, but never took it

...

France
>so the Romans, and how they've engraved a mark on French history
>nah, but seriously France has a huge history so let's skip to the 7th century with Clovis being crowned
>whoop whoop France born motherfuckers
>now we teach you to distinguish the Merovingian dynasty (heads up, they're from before) from the Carolingian dynasty
>now let's drone on about the influence of the Church on Europe throughout the Middle Ages
>hmmm, how about, and hear me out on this, we summate the HYW as a "long war lmao" and skip to the 17th century
>colonization and shit, and oops the empire is gone now
>havingfunkickingangloasswithUSA.png
>the Enlightenment era, and why you should think these fuckers were dope
>Louis XIV was, erm, cool, like this fucker had Versailles but let's study how he also a piece of shit to justify the Revolution we're about to learn about
>the French Revolution, which like we could teach as the bourgeoisie overthrowing an inept aristocracy, stemming from a long chain of events stemming from "La fronde"
>but nah, which we'll teach as the poor standing up to the rich, and that we wanted to rid ourselves of the king all along ;)
>oops lots of people died
>but still, Liberté Egalité Fraternité amirite
>Napoleon happened, and err, things happened but French children can't pride themselves in their country so let's skip this
>now kings are back, but the French revolt, but kings are back, but the French revolt again
>II Republic whoop whoop
>oh no, coup d'état, perpetrated by baddest motherfucker of them all, Napoléon III
>germany beats us
>so we colonize to drown our sorrow
>WW1, and don't forget children that France was such an evil power in the XXth century and how it aided in triggering this war
>so like nationalism = bad, everyone got it?

>Versailles treaty was rude, yuck so rude!
>oh no Germany beat us
>oh no Vichy has control over France now, and it was such an antisemite and reactionnary force that guilt should rain on every French person for eternity now
>haha and yeah, we DID have a resistance
>oh and now totally freed by valiant Americans and onwards to the IVth Republic now!
>power struggle, power struggle, Indochina, power struggle, power struggle, Suez crisis, power sturggle, power struggle, Algeria, power struggle
>de Gaulle is back to fix our shit
>Vth Republic boys, where we owns nukes, tell the USSR and the USA to fuck themselves, and ride out the Cold war being edgy as fuck
>oh and May 1968 in between that where shit happened, and like, we're doomed to be lefties forever due to that
>oh and how we created the EU with our Teutonic buddies

Dear God, this won't breathe any ounce of sense to anyone that hasn't studied history under "l'Education nationale", but I hope I did it justice. Also, I'm recovering from a hefty tooth extraction, so might've left some mistakes here and there.

Scotland. (Scottish education system is separate from the rest of the UK)
Ngl, the entire Scottish history curriculum takes a massive shit on creative freedom and attempts to apply 21st century nationalist perceptions of the world to everything in what is frankly an offense to serious historical analysis.

>Hunter-gatherers and how they transitioned to farmers, applicable to Scotland because of all the prehistoric remains we have here
>Wars of Independence (1290s-1320s) taught at age 12 with no information given about the wider medieval context and viewed through a reductionist lens of Scotland vs. England
>Civil Rights in the USA
>The First World War, but through a Scottish perspective so fuck studying anything but rationing and the Western Front
>Everything that everyone else on this thread learned about the rise of the Nazis
>Social and economic changes in Britain from 1750-1900, dry topic that could have been interesting if it hadn't been taught to us like we were infants
>The "Democratisation" of Britain over the same period, looked at electoral reforms and shit. Again, could have been interesting but just ended up being a patronising mess of dates.
>Wars of Independence again, this time we actually learned that nobles on both sides were backstabbing cunts and switched sides regularly and that nationalist sentments of a similar style to the 19th century onwards (i.e. the Braveheart complex) didn't really exist in the middle ages. They still attempted to pull that shit though.
>The fucking Nazis again (I got so bored by this point that I found a loophole in the assessment for this unit and after aguing with the teacher was able to do my big piece of coursework on the formation of Germany. Got an A)
>In the final year we looked at the modernisation of Japan, really interesting topic and we actually looked at academic sources.

Britain
>Magna carta
>1066
>Medieval castles and sheeiitt
Power Gap
>Henry VIII, possibly other Tudors
Power Gap
>Slave Trade
Power Gap
>WW1
>WW2
>Britain in the 50s

That's it. No real study of the Empire. No mention of the Act of Union, or Expansionism, or the scramble for Africa, or even any Political history from 1600-1900, except maybe a bit on the civil war.

We don't even look at religious reforms or the civil wars in Scotland, despite us effectively kicking half of that shit off :)

Bumb.

>Portugal were the bad guys
Funny, where I studied we learned that the crown transfer of 1807 was actually what saved the country from fragmenting into irrelevant regional quarreling states. Everything else, not really biased one way or another.

Also, too much focus on regional rebellions and uprisings without providing greater context on related events. Like superficially studying the events of the Revolt of the Lash, but not the fact that the ships were it took place, the Minas Geraes-class battleships, apparently sparked a massive arms race in other South American states and left the entirety of Europe struck dumb when they were purchased.

USA. Taught that we did horrible things to the Native Americans and blacks, then in the world wars we suddenly become the best people ever somehow.

El salvador

we were spains bitch
we had a failed central american union
shitty irrelevence
then we slowly become America's bitch

Russia
1/2
>bunch of warring primitive feudal principalities trying to figure out how to civilization
>jewiest principality invites some viking dude to rule them because they have a tradition of inviting foreign rulers who wouldn't have deep connections with local oligarchy, that dude starts the first royal dynasty
>being pagans sucks for diplomacy, but Islam prohibits drinking and Catholics are dry and boring, Constantinople is a cool place, so we turn orthodox christian
>mongols conquer us because principalities continue to fling shit at each other even during their invasion, some even ally mongols just to fuck their neighbours a bit harder
>mongols don't really give a fuck about us as long as we pay tribute, when we refuse to pay they come back and smack us silly
>have to fight off German autism while being mongol vassals, Batlle on the Ice happens, Teutonic knights btfo :DDDD
>Moscow grows stronk, unites the principalities for good, tells mongols to fuck off for good, ruler marries a Byzantine princess (after Constantinople fell to the Turks), we Third Rome now :DDDDDDD, grandson of that ruler proclaims himself "Ceasar" - "Tsar"
>after the first Tsar dies clusterfuck of colossal proportions begins called "The Time of Troubles", because he killed his most capable heir, at some point Poles even take Moscow after putting a pretender on our throne
>they are thrown out during a glorious national uprising, the pretender is killed, burned, his ashes shot from a cannon in the direction of Poland
>new dynasty takes throne
>a bunch of wars happen, with various results
>Peter the Great takes throne, forces nobility to shave beards, begins westernising the country, blows the fuck out of Sweden after badly losing at Narva, "beaten like Swedes at Poltava" becomes a saying, Peter proclaims himself the Emperor
>bunch of wars happen, with various results
>Napoleon invades, wins every battle and takes burned Moscow, Russian army enters Paris

2/2
>a whole bunch of wars happens, with various results, we genocide some Caucasian mountain niggers, but it was necessary because Turks were on the other side of Caucasus
>Empire grows stagnant and reactionary, is one of the last countries to free the slaves (serfs), even after freeing them they are in shit so deep they might as well still be slaves
>Nicholas II takes the throne and begins his long string of pathetic failures: loses war to fucking Japan, fails to create a constitutional monarchy, pulls Russia into WW1 with disastrous results, gets thrown out by Republicans, Republicans get thrown out half a year later by gommies, who peace out of WW1 after giving away loads of land
>Lenin was also sponsored by Germans, but he had good intentions so it's ok
>USSR is a world pariah, after WW1 ends it gets nothing, even though Russia took most losses in the war
>Civil war begins, gommies win because the alternative is returning to the old ways of life and no one wants that
>Lenin dies, Stalin weasels his way into power and starts purging EVERYTHING
>it's ok tho, he had good intentions and it was necessary to root out western agents
(I had a very old history teacher so her views on USSR were pretty biased)
>Molotov-Ribbentrop pact was a minor thing compared to Britain and France openly giving away Czechoslovakia to nazis and giving up on the treaty of Versailles
>they probably did it to sic the nazis onto USSR too
>Invading Poland was a good thing because it gave us more buffer territories in the inevitable war with nazis
>The Great Patriotic war begins as Hitler back-stabs us and storms his way through European territories
>we win through great effort and sacrifice while western "allies" sit and watch, opening second front after the war is decided, soldiers jokingly called lend-lease spam cans "the second front cans"
>Cold War, stupid leaders, space race and arms race that exhausted the country, USSR falls apart and somehow the country becomes even worse

>show up on the Balkans from somewhere
>Byzantines btfo
>Arabs btfo
>Byzantines btfo again
>skull drinking
>christianity
>THREE SEAS
>blind army
>get conquered by byzantines
>rebellion
>Latins btfo
>THREE SEAS
>turks came
>Istoriya Slavyanobolgarskaya
>revolutionaries, april uprising
>muh russian liberators
>unification
>oh yeah, there were also some balkan wars, some world wars and a war between us and serbia and the macedonian question, but this whole bit is not important

Seeing that everything after 1885 is mostly ignored I'd say it was pretty shit, skipping the entire modern history of Bulgaria, which also happens to be some of the best our country has to offer, especially WW1 and the Balkan wars, still leads to people regarding Russia as the big brother that is always willing to protect us and will never do harm which leads to the people being fucking uneducated and causing the majority of the problems that Bulgaria has today.

Our history is barely portrayed at all, because all of the historians, writers, poets and journalists are the fringe minority from the 90's who had pan-romanian sentiments. And they monopolized all aspects of moldovan history, by romanian washing it and claiming it was romanian.

>Basically some parts here and there about medieval era

>1812 RUSSIA ANNEXED EASTERN MOLDOVA AND IT WAS A CRIME AGAINST THE ROMANIAN KIN RUSSIANS ARE SCUM WE WOULD BE PART OF ROMANIA TODAY

>some other things about how life was back then

>1859 WAS WHEN ROMANIA WAS CREATED AND THE ROMANIAN KIN ALL REJOICED BECAUSE THEY HAD A STATE AND IT WAS MOLDOVANS WHO MADE IT THEREFOR WE ARE ROMANIANS AND WERE SEPARATED FROM OUR ROMANIAN KIN

>History then focuses on the history of the romanian state

>1918 ALL OF ROMANIA WAS UNITED INTO A SINGLE STATE MOLDOVANS VOTED TO JOIN THE UNION IT WAS THE WILL OF EVERYONE BECAUSE EVERYONE LOVED BEING ROMANIAN STRAIGHT FROM THE HEART

>1940 EVIL USSR TOOK US FROM ROMANIA IT WAS A TRAGEDY IT WAS ARBITRARY WE NEED TO FIX THE HISTORICAL MISTAKES AND UNITE WITH ROMANIA ONCE AGAIN

>1991 WE INDEPENDENT AGAIN BECAUSE WE WERE ROMANIANS AND HELD THE TRUTH FROM THE SOVIETS LONG LIVE ROMANIAN LANGUAGE AND ROMANIAN CULTURE WE ARE ROMANIANS

And so on and so forth. It's self-cucking in it's most direct sense. Nobody has an objective analysis of Moldovan history because everyone thinks that the moldovan identity was fabricated by the USSR, which is a historically an aberation to claim such a thing. Or that in 1917 Romania annexed the first moldovan republic, and people didn't want to unite because they didn't see themselves as romanians, but as moldovans. And this came from tons of villages all across the country with 100% moldovans living in them.

All of this is purposly ignored because it destroys their fringe pan-romanian narrativ. And nobody can do anything because they simply hold a cultural monopoly over everything.

In short, we need a revolution to shoot them all.

>>nobody likes us now
American here, I love you Polish bastards. You're like, the one country in Europe that was progressive and not a shithead to everyone else. You were nice to the Jews, you had the golden liberty, you were badass in legitimate military encounters and by all accounts decent people. I hope you guys rise again.

Daily reminder that the true Moldova is now part of Romania, and not the abortion that we call Basarabia.

>True Moldova

>Basically eastern Romania
Kek

Not sure if you're full of shit or if you just went to a horrible school. You really weren't taught about Oxenstierna's reforms and Gustavus Adolphus military achievements?

I don't believe for a second your teacher didin't tell you about Charles X and the March Across the Belts or Charles XI and the Battle of Narva.

>Narva
Fuck I meant Lund

I never recieved any tutelage on any of the wars Sweden was involved in, all I got was a brief summary of the kings. Maybe it was you who went to a really good school?

Ireland

>muh newgrange
>muh celts
>muh Patrick
>we wuz saints and scholars n sheeit
>vikings ruin everything
>god-emperor Brian Boru casts them back in to the ocean
>Normans come. Strongbow was strong (p.s. FUCK Diarmad Mac Murchadha and Leinster in general)
>Connacht is relevant for the first and only time in history
>Normans: We Irish now
>"Not so fast" declares England.
>various rebellions and much title-jewing later the crown decides Irish people are too much hassle
>reformation happens. Irish people, both Gaelic and Old English remain Catholic
>plantation of Laois fails because the Irish are too violent
>Plantation of Munster fails because the English are too incompetent
>nine years war is lost because of Spanish incompetence despite the shining genius of Hugh O Neill
>Flight of the Earls happens but it was only supposed to be temporary, we swear.
>Plantation of Ulster happens. Protestants arrive and steal our land
>various riots happen, an overload of banter leads to tens of thousands of casualties.
>English civil war. We choose the royalists
>actually fuck that, we Confederacy of Kilkenny now
>Cromwell is literally the worst man ever bar none
>Oy Vey, billions of innocent Irish children are ethnically cleansed, murdered and sold into slavery
>Protestants now own the entire country, despite being a small minority.
>Glorious revolution happens, support the catholic king
>Oh wait, he's an incompetent fuck too. Up the Sarsfield.
>Flight of the Wild Geese. Again, definitely coming back we swear.
>Betrayal of the treaty of Limerick. Anglo perfidy knows no bounds.
>muh penal laws.
>1798, we enlightened liberal nationalists now, fuck the king, protestants are actually alright after all. Vive La Revolution!!!!
>Fails due to French incompetence despite Irish heroism.
>Act of Union. Worst day of my life.
>Daniel O Connell was sound, worked towards Catholic emancipation.
>Lots of great men in fancy suits fighting for muh freedom
cont.

Copenhagen has in fact never fallen to Sweden. Even when all the rest of Denmark had been taken over, Copenhagen held out.

>Fenians bring the banter to North America
>after some small famines there's a big famine
>Oy Vey it's another Cromwell, 100% the English's fault. Casualties are in the gorillions.
>Ireland becomes a majority English speaking nation for the first time as the Irish speaking areas are hugely depopulated.
>Fuck the Act of Union even more, and fuck every Landlord ever
>Land League and Home Rule movement >Parnell is literally the second coming of Christ.
>Starting to question the loyalty of the Catholic church but hedge schools were cool I guess.
>Fenians, Young Irelanders and various radical nationalists are working in the shadows. IRB is formed.
>something about socialists and a lock out
>Home Rule is granted
>SYKE! we take it back says Britain, because muh war.
>The Rising, most important event in human history. Everyone involved was a heroic warrior-poet martyr.
>Dubliners were butthurt because they're faggots but after the executions of the absolute madmen they saw the light.
>election 1918, Sinn Féin clean up
>partition, curragh mutiny, anglo perfidy
>Black and tans come, worst people ever
>Tan war, we win thanks to Collins' pure unadulterated genius
>Anglo-Irish agreement, more anglo-perfidy
>civil war, fuck Dev
>The Emergency, actually hes not too bad after all.
>Troubles. Huns' fault but the 'ra are icky too.
>GFA everybody's happy and the world is a shining utopia now.

>go to shit school
>only remember having a couple of history lessons
>teacher is cool old guy from Bornholm
>starts out Danish history in the bronze age
>forest clearing and farm planning and how it evolved
>shit school is shit so history class disappears again
>Danish teacher briefly touches on daughter fucking Viking drama and Roskilde
>WW2 is literally just muh Jews and Anne Frank
>only cool part was getting an old resistance guy to stop by and talk about the one time him and another guy assassinated a collaborator and how he had never spoken to his sister after she fucked a german
>the assassination was basically the "you shit me!" Scene from Austin Powers

how do you guys remember the history taught in school? That was so long ago, unless you're talking about university.

I quite enjoy History so I remember quite well how crap, nonsensical and biased my History lessons were at school.

i've been waiting to use this meme

Turkey:
>We wuz Xiongnu
>We wuz Huns
>We wuz might be Scythianz
>Turkic Khaganate
>Adoption of Islam
>Kara Khanids etc.
>Seljuks
>Ottomans
>Late Ottoman era, WW1, independence war

This is it really.

>olivenigger tribes settle at greece and asia minor forming city states
>WE WUZ PHILOSOPHAS, DEMOCRATS AND SHIET
>Persians btfo! this is sparta REEE
>olives kill eachother for some time
>Alexander the gr8
>WE WUZ ROMANS NAO
>Byzantium fucks everyone
>Byzantium gets fucked by everyone
>fast forward to 1821
>get independence from ottocucks
>nothing happens for sometime
>win the balkan wars
>fuck up ww1 and ww2
>ebil nazi america
>get debt
>dont pay it

>Spawn some time ago
>Do absolutely nothing, Romans pop up to trade some amber once in a while
>Skip to 13th century when Germans begin harrasing us with their Christianity
>One dude decides to finally do something
>Starts unifying things, fighting Teutons and becomes (our only) king
>Gets capped 10 years later
>A whole subplot of drama and internal wars begin, because everyone in the court is a greedy retard, WWE script writers wouldn't come up with this shit
>Duchy is wobbly yet stays in one piece
>One duke founds our capital (false) after having a dream
>Germans keep harassing, domestic retards keep fighting each other
>One retard is greedier than others, instantly baptises the whole country to become king of Poland, doing what the Teutons couldn't manage in 200 years
>Get new Grand Duke, seems alright
>Get fed up with Teutonic bullshit, Grunwald ensues
>Get enough happiness for a golden age, bonus gold, productivity and culture for some turns
>GRAND DUCHY STRONK, BIGGEST COUNTRY IN EUROPE #1 MVP TOP OF LEADERBOARD
>Okay, that was fun
>Become a feudal society in the fucking 1440's
>Fast forward a 100 years, Poland is slimy as fuck
>Get coerced into uniting
>Union is unsurprisingly shit, pester Moscow every once and again
>Sweden invades
>Fuck you Poland, we're joining the Swedes
>...
>Sorry Poland, take us back
>Business as usual
>Liberum veto out the ass, pass legislation like 9 times in 70 years
>Partitions happen
>Napoleon passes by, likes one of our churches
>Attempt rebellion
>Fail
>Attempt rebellion
>Fail
>Tsar has enough of this shit, crackdown
>Some smart guys start publishing underground newspapers
>Russian Empire has a stroke, start going for autonomy
>WWI, occupied by Germany
>'Can we get independence?'
>Yeah ok, just be a puppet state. Also, we're sending some random duke from fucking Bavaria to be your king
>RIP reich
>Independance
>Fight wars on every front possible
>Lose capital, Poles are eternal enemies ever since