URRRRRRRRRRR

This thread just gave me an idea. Are the Bogdanoffs trying to match the Habsburgs?

>died at 38

Jesus, imagine living that long like that?

Has anyone tried to figure out what exactly was wrong with him based off his autopsy?

I don't think there was ever an autopsy done, it really is a curious case. I'm pretty sure he had a younger sister as well that was completely normal and considered to be beautiful. The painting Las Meninas is based on her. But judging by her portraits she did have a strong chin.

Well, he was inbred as fuck.

I imagine more common birth defects kind of blended together with one another to form a kind of singular "All Fucked Up Syndrome"

he really grew into his chin as he got older

I wonder if there are any Hapsburgs holding any form of power today, that family fascinates the shit out of me.

How did they even gain power in the first place?

His autopsy was clearly done long after his death, since there is no way that his brain was water and his intestines were rotten while he was alive.

At least he got to live his life unmolested.

If you want to feel bad for a retarded royal, feel bad for Phillip III of Macedon. He was totally harmless and got used and killed because of politics

There was a descendant holding a minor political office in Hungary not too long ago. The name is still around, however without much power or wealth behind it...

A.E.I.O.U. to you too, habby Habsburg!

Between the Nazis and the communists that is not surprising, anything the nazis didn't steal or kill the commies would have.

[Spoiler: The Habsburg monarchy in Spain ended with the guy in OPs picture a good 100 years before Nappy came to Spain. Its actually a french dynasty he took down]

>retarded looking guy at youth
>it was said, that the only parts of spain who did not revolted when he was crowned as new king, were the ones that had never seen him in person
>was universally seen as the worst king spain will ever have at his coronation
>massive revolution three years later to get his brother on the throne

>two decades later he ruled the most powerful european empire since the roman days
>cucked France, Italy, Germany, the Pope and the Barbary Pirats into submission, stopped the turkish expansion into Europe and was busy building the Spanish Colonial Empire
>today regarded as the most powerful and one of the best spanish monarchs ever

>>today regarded as the most powerful and one of the best spanish monarchs ever
That is because people don't know that the habsburgs where the ones that fucked up Spain.

It was his elder brother not his cousin

They're driving formula cars nowadays.

The Chin gene has been reversed. He has a micro-chin now.

humm...

It was probably linked to several recessive genes and the odds of something that freaky occuring without more inbreeding are pretty low.

Good thread.

Still not as bad as James III of Scotland

DELETE THIS

Something that really fucked with me was when my history teacher back in high school made me realize that you have to assume that these official portraits we're heavily euphemistic. Hiding and masking as good and how well as they could how mouthbreathing retarded the Habsburgers really were. Sure all of them have strong chins and fucked up faces but no court painter would've dared to realisticly portray them.

>How did they even gain power in the first place?
It's in the House motto, Bella gerant alii, tu felix Austria nube. Interesting as fuck

>James III of Scotland
Dayum, what's his story? Can't really find info on his...well fucked up-ness

This as fuck. I just feel bad for the guy.

truth be told, I have no idea

I think a combination of being the offspring of a young mother (his mother was 17) and his mother also had some minor inbreeding on her side, but his father's line was quite clean. I think it may have also been a medical fuck up, but I don't know.

>Marie Louise became deeply depressed and died at 27, ten years after their marriage
according to wikipedia they actually loved eachother which seems kinda cute

Not a true Habsburg, he's from the Habsburg-Lorraine line.

As much as you can love a drooling retard

This is what happens when your family tree is a pyramid

I'm sure your mother is quite fond of you, user.

Inbreeding basically just breaks humans.

This, all royal painters make the portraits look better than they really looked, so he must have been even more totally fucked up.

I saw a person once who had a strong Hapsburg jaw. It was strong enough that it was hard to understand the person when they spoke. It's way more monstrous in person than it comes off in portraits, and that person was hard to look at. If that person resembles how Hapsburgs actually looked, they would definitely be more ugly than most people realize.

Cleopatra's Family tree, for more inbreeding fun.

BEEP BEEP

HUHUHUHUHUHUHUH

BEEP BEEP BEP

HUHUHUHUHUHUHHUUHUHUH

why didn't anyone in his circle decide his loyalty was with the country, not the king, and kill him?

i imagine if i was his uncle for example and i saw him grow up that ugly and retarded, i would muster up some courage and have him have an "accident" at the beach or hunting. better that than letting him ruin the family name and the empire

they all looked like that

he also didn't learn to walk until 8 years old apparently

it may just be a bad portrait, you know.

They should have just had the regency/aristocracy agree that he was too fucked up to rule, and put another Habsburg up there.

You can actually see the corruption build up through the generations.

>why didn't anyone in his circle decide his loyalty was with the country, not the king
do you even aristocracy dude?

>better that than letting him ruin the family name and the empire
He was a decent king though. He just inherited a mess but did a pretty nice job in reducing the debt and fixing the economy

He was our guy

>monarchists will defend this shit
Wew

>ruling caste of literal retarded freaks
truly habsburgian monarchy was the peak of western civ

Probably because the stuff they do to regicides is horrifying beyond belief

also a bad king is better than an interregnum

Why don't we put profoundly inbred genetic mistakes in charge of our countries anymore?

Sure, he was incredibly disabled and his face looks like a shoe, but he was a pretty good king, right?

why did monarchs stop inbreeding? have they no respect for tradition

I laughed far too hard at this.

Thanks user

Europe was better off under them than under the current traitors politicians

William and Kate are third cousins

dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1299794/How-Prince-William-Kate-Middleton-related-thanks-Tudor-tyrant.html
12th cousins, once removed apparently

My mistake, STILL INBRED.

REPUBLIC NOW

Apparently his older sister was relatively normal, guy was just really fucking unlucky.

Thats some real Innsmouth shit right there.

I'll be the first to admit my ignorance on the topic of Hapsburgs and politics of this time period, but is it possible that the successes can be attributed to more competent family members or advisers running the country?

The Spanish people should be grateful to have had such a nice king.
God bless him.

I have to hide this thread because I keep bursting into laughter whenever I see it in the catalog

America has.

>URRRRRRRRRRR
>BEBOPBOPBOPBOPBOPBOP
>UHUHUHUHUHUBHUHUYUU
>AIIIEEEEEEEEEEE MYUJNNUMUNUMNUM UGHUK

>you have to assume that these official portraits we're heavily euphemistic.
not necessarily. in this case, probably, but don't carry that mindset for everything

wow, racist. just because obama's mixed doesn't mean he's a freak of nature.

>did not learn to speak until the age of four nor to walk until eight
>was treated as virtually an infant until he was ten years old
>jaw was so badly deformed that he could barely speak or chew
>his caretakers did not force Charles to attend school
>the indolence of the young Charles was indulged to such an extent that at times he was not expected to be clean
>when his half-brother Don Juan José of Austria, an illegitimate son of Philip IV, obtained power by exiling the queen mother from court, he covered his nose and insisted that the king at least brush his hair

and they still let him be king

Was Jimmy Hill a secret Habsburger?

>tfw no qt habsburg gf/niece to marry for political leverage

i want him as our next winter cup player

are they Habsburgs?

No, just indictments of Christian life ethics.

DURRRRRRRRRRRRRR
AM BIG BOI KING OF SPANE!!!!!!!!!!!!
AM MAYKE WITE PEE PEE AGEN
DURRRRRRRRRRRRRR

>WE'RE GONNA MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN

Ayy Lmao

>Republicans lying
How surprising

>People stilld efending monarchy

Yes, yes it does. Terrible, abominable shit. Racemixing is on the same level as inbreeding.

Regarding the whole inbred thing it's true shit went too far in many cases, but the countries/kingdoms actually went on pretty well even if a certain ruler was pants on head retarded. That's the great advantage of monarchy. Even if you are shit you can call upon a competent man who CANNOT usurp rule without plunging everything into chaos and ruining the kingdom.

Didn't he put his cousin on the throne of Italy? Can't remember, but it was certainly his older brother on the throne of Spain and one of his generals on the throne of Sweden.

kek

I want to kiss Nicky II!

:3

So much this. It's not a simple matter to just kill a king.
Firstly, there are issues of legitimacy. He was the rightful heir and claimant to the throne. If he just mysteriously dies (and he never had an heir) Simply putting someone else on the throne doesn't lend legitimacy to the habsburg government at all, even if it's another family member.
Secondly, the aristocracy in Spain (and any aristocracy for that matter) wouldn't be objected to having a slow or ineffective king. The nobility would rather have a dunce than a progressive or tyrannical king. In essence, the aristocracy would object to having Carlos not taking and holding the throne.
Thirdly, as I mentioned before and as user mentioned, an interregenum could be violent, especially in the case of Spain where it has overseas colonies and secessionist movements within its borders. Rather than having a possibly disastrous period of government fragmentation, it would be better to have a strong figurehead rule while the aristocracy or king's council could executed most of the legislation behind the scenes.

that hairline at the back of the head...

Monarchy and flexible government are mutually exclusive, not hand in hand. Typically the monarchies with less power in the monarch's hands and more power delegated to a parliament or congress of landholders passed the most sound policies.
In the case of the Ottoman Empire for example, the death of the Sultan would practically paralyze the entire empire until another sultan was proclaimed.

Austrian Habsburgs are still around, last one of any note, Otto, was an European mp who was one of the main forces pushing for european federalism, his funeral procession was escorted by european civil servants iirc. Must have been dreaming of restoring the >>>.

Why wasn't there a Philip III of Macedon scenario where some other close claimant simply became King, no questions asked, no civil war?
(and then later let him co-rule with a fetus)

Those were Bourbons that Joseph Bonaparte (his brother, not cousin) replaced.

Stop! He's my pure husbando.

Do those things feel pain?

If by "pain" you mean

>ERROR DAMAGE DETECTED ENGAGING DEFENSIVE BIOCHEMCIAL MEASURES

then yeah. But they don't feel "ouch" as there is no "they" as they lack the necessary brain matter to even have a "they". Oh, and they also lack the brain matter to feel an "ouch". If you were to flop one of their hands on a hot stove top it would just lie there until it burnt to char and fell off.

Fascinating, I wonder whether the parents of these bodies are at partially aware of the fact that what they call their children are just energy-burning bags of meat without any actual individual contained within them and yet they continue pouring their time, money and effort into feeding and taking care of them. It's almost insane how the evolutionary preservation of offspring works, even if the offspring is just a bunch of broken genetical codes manifesting in a few functioning organs somewhat resembling a human physically.