American Documentaries

>American documentary about Komodo Dragons.
>MAN EATERS
>Several stories of Komodos attack humans.
>SHE WAS LUCKY TO ESCAPE THIS MONSTER
>Still no footage of komodos without it implying it's about to eat the cameraman.
>BUT IN THE US WE ARE UNDER TREAT
>Story about a guy who kept 12 monitor lizards. One of the bit him in the hand and he didn't get it checks. Bled out. Monitor lizards ate him, probably because they were starving.
>IT COULD BE YOU!

>mfw I watched this for a whole hour.

They aren't even dinosaur ants.

>those metallic clinks

>"Dinosaur ants ... are between 1-1.5 inch long."
>mfw

youtube.com/watch?v=xUCxmAO4CJU&t=1192s

>napoleon
>who's maniacal dream was to conquer the world

>American
>documentaries

you gotta post the link

The pure amount of ham in this is actually a lot of fun.

youtube.com/watch?v=7olG_zQUD_4

Brits reacting to American doc.

kek.

good pasta

American here

There's no question that Napoleon would have wiped the floor with Washington's ass if they ever actually fought.

On the battlegrounds ? Yes. But in a duel ? I don't think so :

Napoleon did some fencing at the military school, but I've read we wasn't very good. George Washington was a Gentleman and as such was likely more trained in fencing.

Can't find the whole doc, I seen it on TV. I have found the monitor lizard section though.

youtube.com/watch?v=nwOk2YEh4N0

Washington was tall and strong but he had constant health problems so I don't know how fit he really was.

>constant health problems

Yeah when he was old and dying

Washington was a tall, well trained noble statesman

he would have wiped the floor with Napoleon's manlet autist ass

Yeah I guess a duel is different but the question was about who would have won commanding men in the field. Napoleon and his troops would have slaughtered George "Can't Keep a Fort" Washington.

Washington had 1/50th of the men and resources lol

also 1/50th of the skill and experience

am american, can confirm this is not exaggerated in any way

youtube.com/watch?v=8tMLQ2bOW7w

I wish I could say this isnt true

British ones aren't much better when you watch the making of sections and see exactly how much footage they splice together and pass off as one event.

I'm an American ecologist and I want to kill myself everyday

I fucking hate what History Channel and reality shows did to TV

>implying that tv was ever good

george washington would have won. washington had god on his side.

Do they unironically believe that or is this a troll?

still a higher k/d. face it, napoleon was shit, thats why he was exiled.

>A higher K/D is acceptable even if you lose and your entire army surrenders

Quality post.

But they both lost and their entire army surrendered. Paris fell in March and Napoleon abdicated a month later.

What point precisely, are you trying to make?

>This k/d ratio of a battle that totally ignores equipment, terrain, the time at which soldiers arrived, the weather and every other aspect without any context whatsoever is an argument!!!!!

Posting the best comments

>Good f'ing point dude. Napoleon couldn't beat the Duke of Wellington in a single battle. And George Washington got General freaking Cornwallis to surrender after being surrounded like the little bitch he was. Let's not forget he also endured the threats against non-treaty abiding native Americans, for-hire Hessian (navy seals of the time) mercenaries, and to top it all off loyalists (30-40% of the colonial population at the time)!

>if George Washington can beat the British, he can beat Napoleon. He underestimated Washington, the same mistake that cost him the Battle of Waterloo.

>You have to remember that Napoleons tactics were to use his giant army to outnumber his opponent, and yes Napoleon may have had advancement in tech but the Americans had rifled barrels instead of muskets. The rifles had far more accuracy and range. Also George Washington was over 6 feet tall Napoleon was barely 5'9 George Washington would have beat Napoleon in hand to hand combat with skill and size

>Um, hello!!!! Washington had many sucessess that were his idea. He forced the redcoats into an embarrissing defeat at Trenton, and then again at Princeton and after von Steuben trained the continentals, Washington's victories were far more numerous. Btw, Napoleon was a short, manipulative bastard with one testicle, while Washington was a tall and noble figure. Plus, Napoleon had no regard for the well being of his troops, while Washington treated his troops like family.

>An American documentary
>America wins
who would've thunk it

This is why people hate Americans.

My favorrite part is still

>Washington, the American hero who AGAINST ALL ODDS defeated the MIGHTY British Empire

Would've been true if they had faced the late 19th century British Empire I guess

this should be saved for posterity

Blame America's need to portray Britain's army of whores and thieves as some kind of unmatched elite force.

Americans deliberately big up 18th century Britain to make their victory seem more amazing. They would've had the floor wiped were they to face Britain alone.

Point is that in that pic, Napoleon defeated an army that outnumbered him 11 to 1 while Washington surrendered almost without a fight to an army that outnumbered him 1.5 to 1

To be fair those native americans were extremely terrifying, hell some of them might have even had actual firearms.

butthurt redcoats butthurt that their pathetic country lost to a colony

>Btw, Napoleon was a short, manipulative bastard with one testicle, while Washington was a tall and noble figure. Plus, Napoleon had no regard for the well being of his troops, while Washington treated his troops like family.
holy shit this is fucking hilarious

No. They lost to France and Spain. You were a theater of a greater war.

Yeah this

It's fake right?
My sister bought one recently
It's still small as of now but I heard it can grow to 160cm

I'm an American who loves his country and generally finds the Euro-ripping to be passé.

This is spot-fucking-on and I wish it wasn't.

>Fail at political maneuvering
>Have the pissant little colony summon up big allies after savaging your army at Saratoga
>Lose the war
>300 years later
>WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH IT WAS ALL THE FRENCH

>your
I'm not British. I'm Australian.

Let's go through this hilarious delusion
>>Have the pissant little colony summon up big allies after savaging your army at Saratoga
>pissant
You were of a larger land mass than Britain and the Canadian colonies, with a high population
>summon up big allies
The French gave you big supplies from the start. Over 90% of your army's equipment was given by the French.
>after savaging
You not only outnumbered us, but also continued to grow in size throughout the battle.
You captured 6000. Out of the 90,000 of the British army. Hardly decisive.
>waaaaaaaaah it was all the french
I'm not upset, I'm pointing out Americans are deluded on the impressiveness of the war.

>with a high population

2.4 mil vs 8 million for 1775 population figures thirteen colonies vs the island of Great Britain itself.

>Over 90% of your army's equipment was given by the French.

out and out a lie lol, did you get that figure from Cracked?

>H-hardly decisive, baka!

Moving right along.

>I'm pointing out Americans are deluded on the impressiveness of the war.

coming from the country that NEVER managed to fight off its colonial overlord and in fact still carries the union flag in its banner

and then imports all of our culture as if the entire continent has some bizarre form of multiple personality disorder and can't make up its fucking mind about who's dick to suck hardest.

>2.4 mil vs 8 million for 1775 population figures thirteen colonies vs the island of Great Britain itself.
Nope. It was 8 million vs 45 million when you account for dutch, french and spanish.

>out and out a lie lol, did you get that figure from Cracked?
Nope, from 'Journal of the Revolution'

>coming from the country that NEVER managed to fight off its colonial overlord and in fact still carries the union flag in its banner
Why should I care? I didn't lead those revolutions and you didn't laed your's. Taking credit for your ancestors achievements is pathetic.

>and then imports all of our culture as if the entire continent has some bizarre form of multiple personality disorder and can't make up its fucking mind about who's dick to suck hardest.

The US is a melting pot, it doesn't have a culture.

>1775

>Dutch, French, or Spanish

Try reading comprehension courses.

>Journal of the Revolution

Nice tabloid source, seriously my sides.

>quoting nu-media figures on anything

>Why should I care?

You clearly "care enough" to "point out Americans are deluded on the impressiveness of the war.", since that's exactly what you did.

>Taking credit for your ancestors achievements is pathetic.
>it doesn't have a culture.

Spotted the underlying New Leftist agenda beneath all the noise!

Yes yes, every culture is "the same" and the tribes cutting off people's heads and eating them in Papua New Guinea are just culturally enriched you stupid racist white pig. :)

>out and out a lie lol, did you get that figure from Cracked?

It's true and a well known fact to anyone who isnt a jingoistic American

It's a "well known fact" but none of you can provide a citation for it. Clearly, if it's obvious, it should be one Google search away?

Sad!

Can you disprove it tho?

Didn't you hear the lady, they are HUGE ants

youtube.com/watch?v=gXm1pjVvHVM
this shit is pretty badass you gotta admit

>youtube.com/watch?v=uEOHT0yEeck
>this triggers the mongolaboo
reminder that the mongols were saved by the ocean. the fierce american tribes would have absolutely destroyed micro dick genghis

>action show

>"documentary"

are other countries inferiority complexes this prominent that they desperately have to search for phantom problems with american historical documentaries to be butthurt about?

>British Documentaries
youtube.com/watch?v=BwJdGShUy8I

They get pretty big but they're scavengers, no way it would kill a man.

I thought it was well known that the Brits gave up Continental USA to hold onto the Caribbean?

>Try reading comprehension courses.
We're discussing the majority of the war, not the first year.

Also, it took 8 months to get to America, meaning for the first year you were fighting garrisons.

>Nice tabloid source, seriously my sides.
Please do something to discredit its reliability

>You clearly "care enough" to "point out Americans are deluded on the impressiveness of the war.", since that's exactly what you did.
I'm not doing this out of hate for countries, i'm doing this to show historical inaccuracy

>Spotted the underlying New Leftist agenda beneath all the noise!
No argument here

>Yes yes, every culture is "the same" and the tribes cutting off people's heads and eating them in Papua New Guinea are just culturally enriched you stupid racist white pig. :)

>shit i never said: the post

>implying that it doesn't have Mike Loades and that Sandhurst tranny as historical advisors

>lost to the french fighting a proxy war and arming colonial savages
fixed that for you

i'm going to be so glad when this miserable shitstain of a ""superpower"" declines into irrelevance

literally modern day gauls

No it's not.

Better, it is if you have no idea of what they are talking about, the problem is that they market it as a scientifically certified and historically accurate way to determine anything on the matter, when it clearly isn't already to someone with a slighlty better trained eye.

For example for me, it triggers my autism.

Jokes on you faggot.
We are taking the whole world down with us

AHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHA no.

your influence is declining by the minute

We are literally consuming all the worlds resources.
Influence is irrelevant at this point

you're not china and india lol

>We are literally consuming all the worlds resources.
You're fat but not THAT fat!

But we are paying China and India to do things, Much of it is by proxy.
And per capita there is no competion.
Yes

And the French, conveniently.

>we're PAYING people to consume all the world's resources with our monopoly money
cuck logic

I guess you just don't hate America as much as I do.