You suddenly appear in the heart of Rome in 150AD...

Somehow impress someone important with my phone and lighter.

The NEET clothes I'm wearing right now would be very valuable at the time. Imagine their awe upon seeing a zipper. And the tracksuit trousers. Even the slippers would be worth many denari.
However chances are I would be robbed and enslaved before being able to sell them.

Probably confuse the hell out of them for looking like a Berber but sounding and dressing like some form of Germanic, before being promptly thrown into slavery and probably dying of disease at some point.

Does this poster really suggest eating mold and it will act as penicillin?

>Quickly touch laptop as I'm teleported.
>Walk into the middle of the market place
>Lift it up with beholden splendor

>get beaten and robbed

Or be worshiped as a God... Maybe??

What happens when your laptop battery dies?

Oh shit, I forgot there are no power outlets

Absolutely find some way to ditch my modern clothes and hide them somewhere safe. They need to be protected for later when they can be safely sold for vast wealth and not get me immediately killed for their value. My shoes alone are worth a fortune, let alone my glasses that are of a weak prescription and thus would improve the eyesight of many.

Hopefully I'm near a beach and can pretend to be the survivor of a shipwreck from a strange foreign land and that I washed ashore naked, having discarded my heavy clothes in order to float better, thus explaining my nakedness.

Most people will help out others in need, there should be local religious institutions for that. I'm fairly good with recorders, flutes, whistles etc and have various other desirable skills that would help me earn my keep a little while i learned the language. I'd be focusing on language and literacy primarily. Then just my basic modern education can be applied in various ways and as long as I keep myself humble I should do just fine.

God knows how I handle shit if I'm nowhere near a beach. But I know how to make high quality charcoal, gunpowder, steel, ink, paper, etc

Hopefully I can get to a beach, rather.

Find the nearest church

>wearing pajama pants
>speaking gibberish

They'll probably just mistake me for some unruly celt.

Same for me

I'm currently in my undies, holding nothing but a shitty tablet with very low battery. I guess I walk into the woods and find somewhere peaceful to die.

Well it'll still be pretty badass to play some Deux Ex with a crowd huddled around me before I'm stabbed or executed

Salve. Quid pro quo ad hoc de facto lingua franca bonus veni vidi vici? persona non grata casus belli carthago delenda est ave Maria. De facto deus ex machina e pluribus unum sic semper tyrannis bona fide habeas corpus et tu Brute? Resquiescat in pace ad nauseum cogito ergo sum. et cetera.

I speak a Romance language, so learning Latin through immersion shouldn't be that difficult. I'm Latin so looks might help, taller than the average back then.
With my knowledge of anatomy and basic medicine I could become a doctor or something similar, make money and find a qt to marry. I could become many jobs tvh, a wise mathematician, a zoologist, alchemist, astronomer, philosopher.

How do you plan on making modern medicine?

I don't.
Basic medicine I said, I can do around the equivalent of a field surgeon without anything modern.
I'm young so I could try to become an apprentice for what I'm missing, and know enough about things that don't work.

dumbass. any "time traveler" would be dead within the year from something, there's no way you can survive in what would be a totally alien world with totally alien diseases that would tear you apart. You have immunity to diseases and viruses in their current form, but not their previous forms.

Also, wouldn't our strains fuck with their population?

Take out my phone and start taking pictures of women, and then go to the bathhouse to masturbate to them

yeah, we'd be the arbiters of mass extinction with our evolved and resilient forms of viruses and diseases that would absolutely ravage the world

>he thinks the term "lingua franca" existed before France was a thing

Just show them basic math, being able to do algebra and calculus is probably enough to be treated like a genius.

Who /off to the mines/ here?

Hopefully get sold as a barbarian slave to a reasonably well off Roman Family, good chances of that too considering my health. Work diligently and earn a trusted position while studying the language. Become literate and demonstrate an aptitude for simple mathematics. Become invaluable member of household but share all favours, including any financial gain with all other slaves of the household, especially those who were senior to me or of equal power, keeping only what I need to sustain myself, I don't want to fall to some jealousy-fueled plot. Once I have attained an appropriately secure relationship with my master over the course of some years I will begin to share some "discoveries" with him. I will allow the master to take all credit for these discoveries. Extremely lucrative businesses can be formed with simple modern knowledge. Take for example, fried dough or, more dangerous knowledge; compasses etc
The key is to live in the shadows as much as possible while using other people, as many as possible, to spread your modern knowledge for person gain. Eventually you would be a loved, respected and utterly indispensable servant of the Empire.

This, better than medicine, and no risk of killing someone by mistake

I change my profession

Any normie could probably get very close to senators and the emperor with their basic knowledge.

I wonder what they'd make of your wacky number system, and if it would catch on.

The trick is to absolutely never abuse your power or let anyone know how powerful you are, stay humble and get used. The worst thing that can happen is that you are perceived by someone, anyone, as a threat.

That would be a real hard mode run

Which period or Emperor would be most open to ideas of some strange time traveler? I always thought going back to Augustus' time would be good and you'd accomplish more then. But I'm a degenerate, and he didn't like that.

Probably one of the Severans. They were really into the eastern mysticism stuff and it would be easy to convince them you're the coming of some prophecy.

Become Nero's fuckboi and save him

Damn, thinking about the consequences of time travel make it seem just so improbable.

Also, if you were travel back in time who's to say you'd be placed on the earth? With the earth's rotation, you could be thrown in the middle of space during 150 AD

Seems the most realistic career path for an essentially mute slave that no one can understand with no applicable job skills. That or galley slave.

>but not their previous forms.
actually we inherit our immunity, so if our ancestors managed to develop a natural immunity to something then chances are - barring a fluke mutation in the intervening generations - we'd be immune to it too. If the black death were to break out today and for some reason modern medicine had become unavailable, mortality rates would probably still be far lower than they were in the initial medieval outbreaks simply because after repeated generations of exposure to the disease Eurasian populations have evolved a degree of immunity - and it doesn't matter that there hasn't been a major outbreak for hundreds of years. It'll take a while before the genetic drift from the lack of evolutionary pressure ends that immunity.

Of course that only helps if our ancestors actually did managed to develop an immunity to the disease.

What you've really got to worry about when travelling to the ancient world is the complete lack of hygiene which would lead to you getting exposed to a lot of stuff that your immune system isn't necessarily set up to cope with. The people of the past would probably have on average stronger immune systems simply because in those days the high infant mortality rates weeded out those who didn't have that protection. So rather than having a natural immunity to, say, a particular type of food poisoning, they would have developed an immunity because they'd already had it and survived it (unlike some of their peers). Then again, we're far better fed than ancient people so maybe our immune systems would be bolstered enough by that to make up for the lack of experience.

Anyway, on balance I think and are right that's we'd be far more of a danger to them then they would be to prospective time travellers.

...

I get the joke, he spouted all the Latin terms he knows
But "lingua franca' isnt Latin, it's from the 16th century and comes from Portuguese or something

>Most people will help out others in need, there should be local religious institutions for that.
Oh boy. You are not going to do well in the past.

Stand in the temple of Jupiter playing your favorite porn video on maximum volume

Tell people that you're a herald from the gods and that you've come with a magic mirror which allows humans to gaze upon the gods having intercourse, which is what modern day pornstars would look like to the dirty, disease ridden Romans. Then tell them that if they don't empty their pockets and give you all their money then the gods will strike them blind.

You could go from town to town pulling off this scam and getting fucking RICH in the process. Just be careful about preserving the battery so that you can build yourself a nice nest egg before it dies

Once you picked up Latin, I think you'd be amazed with how much you could improve the world. Even if you had no real technical knowledge, you would just see stuff that they do backward or just didn't know about yet.

>and comes from Portuguese or something
It's Latin. It might not have meant 'international language' before the 17th century - ancient Romans would hear it as 'language of the Franks' - but it's still latin.

I'm cute so I'd try and get sold off to a rich family to be a sex slave for their teenage son or something

Gril?

>be careful about preserving the battery
>he doesn't know how to build batteries with literally Iron age tech
>he doesn't know about the Baghdad batteries

inb4 you need a charger

you can get around that no problem with fucking copper

Pathetic little shit

I'm a 6'3 black guy (people at that time were way shorter so i'd be a giant)so i figure i'd be enslaved immediately. If not i'd try to serve in the army and fuck as many Roman women as i could

Trade your clothes, buy a canvas,some paint and some food and draw any building using perspective.

Congratulations, your art is now 1000 years ahead of anything the romans could have drawn.

>I'm a 6'3 black guy (people at that time were way shorter so i'd be a giant)so i figure i'd be enslaved immediately
>so i figure i'd be enslaved immediately
why?

Didn't they employ perspective, which was only rediscovered during the renaissance?

Ancient Roman society was pretty racially diverse.

They probably wouldn't enslave you

Work force

you're a more resourceful person than I am, user.

Have fun waving your magic god mirror in people's face. Try using it to con the Emperor into letting you deflower his daughter

They wouldn't enslave you, they'd call you Nubian and ask you where your spear is, you could become an auxiliary in the army.

Do you have some weight as well? Learn to find and be a gladiator or body guard.

For your enjoyment and edification, example of "Second Style" wall painting from Pompeii.

somehow you've managed to be wrong on both counts and still get the general gist right.

Ancient Roman society really wasn't racially diverse at all - it was ethnically diverse in the sense that you would have Celts and Illyrians and Thracians and Greeks and whatever living alongside each other, but the numbers of non-Europeans living in the European parts of the Roman Empire would have been tiny. And it wouldn't even have been very ethnically diverse in most places - there would have been the natives, the Romans, and not much else except perhaps in the garrison towns.

And they probably would enslave him - after all, he doesn't speak the language, he doesn't have any money, he doesn't have any family or anyone who can vouch for him.

But since you were trying to say that they wouldn't enslave him just for being black you're right there. White slaves probably made up 99% of the slave population in the Empire. It wouldn't occur to them that the colour of his skin would mark him out as a slave.

Realistically, if all you could speak was modern English, how quickly would the Romans crucify you?

Why would they crucify you?
Have you commited any crimes? Defected the army?
Rome was always full of foreign merchants selling their stuff, you'd just be another one who no one can understand.
If you did something dumb then something might happen to you.

They'd probably assume you're some kind of German, especially if you're babbling English and wearing pants. Although if you did this they'd just think you're insane. Not sure what happened to mentally ill people back then

Even if you do know latin you probably wont be able to communicate with them that well.

You wont know any slangs, idioms, or any language quirks that can only be learned by living with it.
Also the accents could be wildly different.

you just have to learn the local memes though, then you can shitpost with the best of them on the local image wall

...

Write down "VIRGIL" over and over, then try to demonstrate from memory how pasteurization works.

>Implying Virgil was his real name

What does Virgil have to do with pasteurization?

Use bigdaddy cheat andf btfo the whole empire with a rocket launching car

dude im horrible at languages. id never be able to learn latin or any language fluently which would severely limit my opportunities.

dude id just want to have sex with an infinite supply of women. if I can use my knowledge to obtain enough riches to do that forever and live comfortably id be fine.

Caligula

The Romans reserved crucifixion for crimes against the state.

So don't provoke any slave rebellions and you should be fine.

fuck many men and women like the good roman people did before christianity fucked the world up

talk about the rine and nile river and Christianity because that's all ic an talk about in latin .

Sell my blonde locks to a wig maker.
Buy Roman take out and a cheap tunic.
Bet the rest of my money on the Greens at the Circus Maximus.

>The people of the past would probably have on average stronger immune systems simply because in those days the high infant mortality rates weeded out those who didn't have that protection.
Overly strong immune system can shorten your life or strain systemic functions, ever see people with hayfever?

I feel like rape would happen

I would go to the nearest are with soft earth and make as realistic a world map as possible, and then try to convey to passersby where Rome is.

Give Rome an idea how much there is left to conquer.

I reckon the maths way is the way to go. Impressive but not costly or dangerous and mathematicians will be more open minded that say General Bellendious you are trying to flog your steel to. Im going on Khan academy today, just in case.

Actually, wouldn't it be the other way round? I think we'd probably give them horrible diseases

Probably get enslaved and thrown into the gladiator pits where I get eaten by a lion

Depends. Obviously we have diseases that we've adapted to, but it's possible that we've de-adapted to roman diseases since that version of them might have become extinct.

GOAT movie

>ywn arrive in Rome just as a new batch of slave girls is taken to the Colosseum and raped to death by all kinds of animals in front of a cheering crowd

Rome was a conservative civilization. I doubt this happened.

What invention would the romans have the most use out of that you could reasonably recreate back then with an hour or so research trip around the internet before you get time portaled? Would any military invention like gunpowder even be useful to them, since they're already the toughest dudes around?

My sides! Holy fuck
Kek, did you even understand what he wrote?

>Resquiescat in pace
i kek'd