Death Industry

Weird story, but my last job was as a pizza delivery driver. One of my regular customers one day asked me out of the blue if I had a clean drivers license and if I was looking for another job. Two weeks later I'm dressing in a suit and doing my first body removal.
I've been working as a removal guy/hearse driver/general gofer for a little over 2 years now. The hours can suck but the pay is good. I'm planning on entering mortuary school in the fall if everything goes to plan.

Is it possible to shadow someone for a week or so to see how i respond to such a business? I had been thinking of getting into "the dead" for a while now.

why not do something that scales that requires little overhead
if you do something like that, you will have just created a new job for yourself that you're stuck with

You could make extra money by opening a used denture and eyeglass store next to your funeral home.

While your at it, may as well render the fat into soap and candles too :D

>60-80 thousand for a hearse

The funeral business is VERY clannish. Even in my city of about 1 million people everyone pretty much knows everyone else in the business. Part of it is because many homes have been part of family businesses for generations. Reputation is everything in this business and people are very sensitive to any misstep.
That being said, it's just like any other business in the end. Check classifieds or craigslist for openings. If you want to be proactive you can visit some local funeral homes and ask if they are hiring for any positions. I'd recommend looking for the biggest funeral home in the area since they are most likely to need employees. The small guys tend to employ friends and family first. Funeral homes are VERY big on privacy so you will not be likely to get a tour or anything until you are hired.
Other than that I'm not sure what to tell you. I fell into my position through luck. If you are sure you want to do this then mortuary school is the first logical step. Learn to embalm and you can find a job almost anywhere.

Considering what I had to pay for a funeral, either the upkeep costs are HIGH or the funeral home directors are VERY rich.
Most likely a combination of both.

We bought a new Cadillac hearse last year for 82k.

Yes to both. Funerals cost a lot but upkeep is pretty insane. Remember that funeral homes are a 24/7 business. You have to have someone available at all times to pick up bodies and answer questions from customers. The physical location is usually a pretty big place so electrical bills are high. Gas bills are no joke if you run a crematory. Paying employees, insurance, ect all add up.
That being said funeral directors are not poor. The guys who work for the funeral home are making 50-60k a year. I don't know what the owners make but I wouldn't be surprised if they were making 100k+ per year. My boss lives in a million dollar house in a very nice neighborhood and his kids all have cars newer than mine.

You actually believe millennials are going to be paying for their parents' funerals?

You'd be surprised what people will pay when they are in mourning. When mommy or daddy just died people come up with the money, even if it's just for a cremation. Don't underestimate human grief, it can cause people to do crazy things.
Also, pre-paid funerals are a huge thing. People take out a life insurance policy and pay for their own funeral in advance. Boomers are doing this in droves because they know their kids don't have the money to take care of them when they are gone. Also it gives them the ability to decide what's going to happen after they are gone.

Around here when someone in the community dies and the family can't afford a funeral, close family and friends will help out as well. People always find the money. I told my family not to bother and to just chuck me in a pit somewhere or burn me, or bury me in the woods. But you know they will anyway >.>

If someone absolutely cannot afford a funeral the government will take care of the cost for a cremation. Happens with unclaimed bodies and the very poor all the time.

Interesting reading, funeral business user. You must have made an impression on your pizza delivery.

At least it's recession proof

You say that as if you have a choice.
I don't know if policies are different in the rest of America or something but as far as it was for me, you can't get a death certificate until you pay for the funeral.
You need a death certificate for pretty much any business that you have to take care of, and the only way to get it is by going through the funeral home. It's not even a matter of human grief, it's that they hold that vital piece hostage from you and everything has to be done relatively timely too.
Why the hospital where the death was actually confirmed can't just give it to you like in a normal country, I have no clue. Well it's actually obvious why.

>Get a CPA and make $100k a year
>Be around dead people 24/7 365 and have to maintain a business and have a shit ton of overhead and shit
>Still make $100k a year

Hmm.

Up there with medicine, waste management, sex, and utilities

From what I know the policies on death certificates are decided on the state level. But you are correct, the death certificate is required for almost everything dealing with a persons post mortum business like closing bank accounts and dealing with property. It's a vital piece of legal documentation. In my state the certificate is issued on death but is not valid without a physician's signature. Normally we take care of that for the family so I am not aware what the process is for a death that does not involve a funeral home.
Like I said, I don't know what my boss makes, but he's definitely hurting. 100k+ is my conservative estimate for owning and running a funeral home. All I know for sure is that he makes enough to run the business and pay himself quite comfortably. The 24/7 stuff is handled by employees like me.

Regardless, I don't think any dollar amount is worth being death and malaise all the time but you do you, I'll do me. God bless.

I'm doing my mortuary school this august. Here in Canada, you learn how to embalm and how to be a funeral director in the same program. It takes 3 years.

It becomes pretty normal after a while. I have seen thousands of corpses, it's just another body when all is said and done. The part that we take pride in (or at least I do) is dealing with the living. Families and friends are the ones who need comfort and help. Dealing with the dead is pretty easy compared to trying to comfort a grieving widow or son.

Good luck! Here you can do either or both separately. The funeral director part is really the lucrative position, but embalming is a much needed skill. Some folks don't have the temperament to deal with the public and decide to go for just embalming, and some dislike the messy side and stay away from embalming.
I can't speak for Canada, but here it's got a ton of job security and the pay is quite good.

Thanks! And yeah same thing for Canada, lots of job with a good pay. Not a lot of people wants to do that. In my province, there's about 8 million people and there's only one school who's giving this program.

It's very unpopular as a line of work. I am trusted enough that my boss asks for my opinion on new hires and I take all of the new people out on removals and teach the the ropes for that part of the business. It's amazing how many people quit after one day. Tough guys who have been in the military, nursing students, all kinds of people who think they can handle it give up after being exposed to the reality of the business.

I still think there's a morbid detachment to it all. A lack of regard for human suffering. Maybe I'm just a cynic. No offense.

No offense taken. I just see it as a service that needs to be performed. Human remains have to be taken care of somehow and that is why we exist. I try to take care of the dead with as much respect as possible. That beings said, human suffering doesn't apply to the dead. The important thing is taking care of the living and helping them deal with their loss.