Veeky Forums I need your help. I need to confirm the name of an Aztec (or possibly Mayan) king whose entire legend is that he lusted after big booty. I thought his name was Toltec but it seems that name describes a people not a specific king.
The way it went was, he wanted a lover with an ass cheek two hand spans wide each. His name meant "Big Hands"... You get the idea. He was basically Veeky Forums's HIGH TEST meme but a real person.
Oh, and also the gods came down and turned into big bootied women to mess with him. This is taken as a literal event that happened in his people's history.
>Then Titlacaoan disguises himself as a "chile" salesman calling himself Tobeyo, who sells green chilies in the marketplace while stark naked. Huemac's beautiful daughter sees Tobeyo in the marketplace, "liked him and wanted to have him" and on account of this her "whole body began to swell". The portion of the story containing this last paragraph, according to a footnote, was censored by a translator named Bustamante, and was originally more graphic.
... What the actual fuck? Every part of Huemac's legend is like some bizarre Deviantart porn story.
Bump for hilarious historical research purposes.
Julian Kelly
>huemac >hue Your god was a Brazilian bull that somehow got to Mexico and where he became the king.
Julian Wright
>My king, if you'd just listen to me... >HUE HUE HUE HUE HUE
Pottery
Jack Cox
it means she began to ovulate so hard she spontaneously became THICC
Liam Smith
It's pronounced Üh-mak though.
Benjamin Bailey
It gets better
>Huemac discovers his daughter sick, and asks her attendants what's wrong with her. The attendants tell him she is "love-sick" and that the cause is the naked chili-pepper salesman named Tobeyo. Huemac orders the Toltec people to find Tobeyo and bring him forward, but he is nowhere to be found.
>"Later", Tobeyo appears in the same place in the marketplace, once again selling chilies. He is discovered and brought to Huemac. Huemac asks him why he is naked, and he says "we have this custom in my country". Huemac says to him, "By force you are to cure my daughter", and Tobeyo is washed, has his hair cut and is dressed in a Maxtli girdle and blanket, and is sent in to sleep with Huemac's daughter. This cures her of her ailment, and the two are married.
Chase Price
10/10 thread.
Post more buttocks.
Grayson Hughes
...
Evan Robinson
daw
Levi Johnson
You first famalam
>tfw high test
Am I an Aztec king yet
John Jenkins
So he invented Mexican food because he liked fat women?
Mason Hernandez
Yes user. Thank you for summing up thousands of years of Mesoamerican history with a fat girl joke.
