You wake up and roll over to your phone to check blockfolio, only to see that your total is at $2,000,000

Cash out.

Wonder what happened to the other 50% of my portfolio.

Cash the fuck out 1.5m, lawyer up, accountant up.

Make a thread offering it to the first 10 to post address.

Fuck

I'm sorry user.

> Balance changes to $500,000
What now user?

...

kek

I don't believe you

Post portfolio

Ask myself why it's up only 500%

Quit my job, get a lawyer and accountant, cash out half, give half of that to my parents for their retirement, find someone to take care of my cats, fill up a backpack, book a one way ticket to Nepal or Japan or Thailand or anywhere

Offer 2k total to the good anons at Veeky Forums at random for helping me gain these riches and then live out the rest of my days in Thailand fucking ladybois and driving in my lambo and throwing money at peasants on the street once in a while for lulz

Wonder where the rest of my 998 millions went. √:)

Bitbean

Wait until 2030.

I was gonna say that!

I would use my US$ to kill mine and get away with it.

Smash my balls between two rocks and sing Giuseppe Verdi's Aida in a soprano tone

DUDECHILLLLLLLL

>GG and drink cyanide

D E L E T
E
L
E
T

Convert 3/4 into Tether and call lawyer and accountant. Find a way to cash out without being violently butt-fucked by IRS. Don't mind some taxes, but please nice and easy.

Give a chunk to mum and dad, start looking for a nice house near the beach.

Continue working and living life as it was before. Only much more relaxed.

Buy high sell low

You guys really overrate what $2 million can buy you.

It's not "set for life" money by any means unless you want to live in the boonies and never do anything

5% returns per year on $2 mil is $100,000

You would never have to wageslave again

You would finally be a free man

Everyone dies, user. Take a week or two to mourn and move on.

If your mourning phase is longer, consider suicide because you sure as shit can't handle actual stressful situations

Fuck you you sociopathic faggot.

he's not entirely wrong although some people need longer to mourn than others and there are many variables to that, namely how good of a relationship was had

I personally would take about 10 minutes to mourn my parent's deaths because then i would have no one nagging at me all the time

everyone dies.

Withdraw half of it and keep the other half invested.

Buy a few acres of land in Montana and chill.

ow my feelings, wow I have feelings

Figure out how to move it to real investments and out of this bullshit.

Cash out before the crypto market swings the other way and I'm in debt to the internet jews for $2,000,000 USD

t. never left the house or been in a high stress situation

You must adapt if you want to survive. Mourning is fine but the reality is, they're gone and there's nothing you can do to reverse it so why waste your time beyond that mourning phase?

I see people get absolutely destroyed for years because someone they loved died. Fucking pointless. What kind of life is that to live in fear and depression?

This holy shit

I don't believe in crypto at all and think it's a completely garbage idea

Unfortunatey it's the only current way to become wealthy by investing if you're not already rich

You should have replied to that post user.

Buy even more espers

All in the bean

This: youtube.com/watch?v=xdfeXqHFmPI

>giving the jews their cut

Good goy

Why the fucm would you invest in something you dont believe in. Youre whats wrong with crypto jackass.

SEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELL
SELL EVERYTHING NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW
GET ME OUUUUUUUT
GET ME OUT OF HEEEEEEEEEEEEEERE

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAhhhhhhhhHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Because read the last part

For a lot of poorfags it's a possible ticket out

Buy the dip.

>everything you loved is entwined in memories of them
>all joy from activities and travels elevated by sharing it with them
>they're abruptly torn from your life, nothing feels the same. You miss them. You can't share your time or wonders with them. Holes in routines, comforts disappear, joys diminish. Life moves on, but it's not the same, it's not as good.

"dude it takes 2 weeks to get over a death"
I'd advise you don't say stuff like this in public. Not for offending the bereaved, but just to save yourself being ostracised as a edgy faggot lacking any capacity for depth.

Conflating mourning with weakness or inability to handle stress is pathetically clueless.

How will this help though? Youd still pay capital gains either way.

> but just to save yourself being ostracised as a edgy faggot lacking any capacity for depth.
Also might save him from a good knock in the face depending on the mood of those around him.

the only real variable is how much of a cuck you are
not even larping, if you bitch and moan for more than a fortnight you're a pretty worthless person and i wouldnt associate with you

Bingo

>ur going to get raped by govt kikes by taxes whatever you do
>lets get another kike to give my investment returns to instead of using turbotax or something
(((bingo)))

Who does this remind me of....

My cost of living is around $11k/yr I'd be set for a long time even with suprises

Fuck off, you retarded piece of shit,

go cry for a few years about ur dying brain jej fag

replying twice to the same reply

go back to sleeping because i haven't slept for fucking 4 days properly

buy happiness

Going buy a house.

Call my dad and laugh at him for abandoning my family when I was a kid and having the audacity to try and come back in my life years later, even though he always treated me like shit and told me I would never amount to anything.

Nothing, because I've still wasted the prime years of my life and no amount of money will ever get those years back.

do you really believe in trading random numbers? are you retarded? crypto is a meme you dingus.

fpwp

>random numbers
Get a load of this nigger.

bitcoin.org/bitcoin.pdf

SELL.
FUCKING.
EVERYTHING.

Seriously. I'd cash the fuck out. Pay off all my debt and buy myself a nice 3/2 ranch on a couple of acres in the country. Invest a large chunk in precious metals and run a small side business for day-today income.

I don't need hundreds of millions, just enough for my family to live comfortably.

cash out about 10k and book next day plane ticket to go see my gf who is 12 thousand kilometres away

god i miss her so much

Age?

gaaaaaaay

she's getting boned by nigger chad and you know it.

nah she hates black people

He's right user. The crypto-world as it stands now will not exist in the near future (say 5 years or so). Shit like what happened at GDAX yesterday is going to bring regulation into the market & you're no longer going to be able to merely make shitcoins and steal people's money. There's gonna be hordes of SEC rules and regs to jump through. Enjoy this while it lasts, because only the truly innovative cryptos are going to survive what's coming down the pipe.

You're only as old as the woman you're fucking, user.

One day perhaps we can buy back our biological youth as well:

dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3567038/We-soon-live-1-000-British-scientist-dedicated-life-quest-eternal-youth-claims-human-body-repaired-just-like-car.html

sens.org

Clinical immortality won't be cheap at first, though. Better stock up on crypto.

I hire a lawyer obviously. I put (after tax equivalent) $500k into personal funding, $1m into grandpa investments and keep the rest in crypto.

>Get the taxes wrong
>Audited and raped by the IRS

move to se asia then get a hot gf
work on my fitness and eat good food for a year

this is my plan as long as i hit 100k by the end of the year

call my gf, tell her "quit your job, we're going house shopping in the caribbean."

Is this an American-Australian relationship?

My gf is an aussie who I've never met in person desu

kek, the reason I started with crypto was because I couldn't afford my surprisingly expensive boring health-nut lifestyle. now I'm back at alcoholism but $20k up

>My gf is an aussie who I've never met in person

are you 12?

you fuckin nigger. No amount of crypto money will magically make my mom now a dead drug addict borderline piece of shit. Fuck you for reminding me

yes it is

i'm the aussie and she's the american though

we met while i was travelling

>telling your gf about any significant money
NOT A DRILL, user. DO NOT DO THIS.
Just put it in some kind of hidden fund and draw from it as if it were your job. Women change when they find out that a quick abuse accusation can get them a few million $

im not a health nut but id love to train muay thai with buakaw then come home to a sexy little slut who is ecstatic that i can afford to spend $100 a week with her

being rich could definitely buy me happiness

Nice. Best of luck to you user, I'm the American in mine.

We met on omegle (I know) back in November. We've been talking on the phone and over webcam/facetime every day since then

My dream is to have enough to be free and do whatever we want together, traveling especially.

...

I did something similar to two girls I met on interpals, a Spanish and French girl. I would never call it a relationship but at least I met both of them and slept with one of them.

my girl got with me when i was poor as hell. i literally was unemployed.

she loaned me money when i needed it, encourages me when i'm down, fucks my brains out, and is also super smart and interesting to hang out with. she "invested" in me when almost no-one else would. if i get rich u better believe i'm takin her to the moon with me.

i appreciate the advice but it sounds like u need to be around better people.

I am very sorry for your lose user, truly. Things will get better.

Why will the miners keep mining past ~2040? The inflation rate will be fucking nothing, but they'd be running the network.

All you faggots wasting money on (((lawyers))) and (((accountants))), this isn't fucking rocket science.

If you wanted to cash out this year, that would buy you in the top income bracket and you would pay 36% of your profit in tax

If you cash out next year, you'll pay the long term capitalism gains rate for your bracket which is 20% of your profit.

Goyim thinks Jews have access to secret information. This is why you are poor.

>long term capitalism gains rate
kek
For real, though. In the amount of time you probably waste on Veeky Forums per day, you could learn everything there is to know about US Federal capital gains tax backwards and forwards. You're fucking retarded if you think you need to hire an accountant for this. A lawyer is even worse. He'd just charge you $500 an hour to talk to some accountant.

On phone. Meant to say *capital