What are some of your most hated misconceptions of the middle ages?

What are some of your most hated misconceptions of the middle ages?

That they weren't comfy as fuck

>Muh crusades
People watch Kingdom of Heaven or some other Hollywood crap and actually think that the Church just wanted to kill as many muslims as possible and conquer the Middle East out of sheer bigotry and imperialism, completely ignoring the domestic factors like getting your fucked up nobles to fight a common enemy rather than each other at the country's expense.

Also, this idea that the Church actively repressed science and kept people in the dark while in reality they were the only ones who kept it from being lost. I'm not even a Christian but this whole "muh evil church" narrative pisses me off, it's almost exactly how the Church itself used to talk about the Roman pagans.

That everything was bleak and boring when That was the time beautiful churches were built and great music and songs were composed
Also the fucking thing about nobles having the right to the brides Virgin pussy, fuck that

that it weren't a backwards, boring and poor shithole

>in general
That England was a more advanced, developed and peaceful country while the rest of Europe was backwards and violent.
>on Veeky Forums
That it was comfy as fuck.
That people weren't considerably more ignorant and bigoted than they were after the Enlightenment (though the uneducated minority was equally stupid)

They were great.

They there was a concept of "humanity". Most people didn't start to think of all humans as being "humans" until the 20th century

It was certainly more peaceful in that statistically, less battles took place there.

That it was either the low point of humanity or a utopia, and not incredibly varied by country and century.

Get over yourself. Please.

welcome to the purple pill. do you swallow the purple pill and will you know the truth about about atheists or will you swallow the blue pill and will you remain forever ignorant to the evil and brutalism of atheistic globalists? make your choice and take your pill of preference.

Probably how a lot of people grossly conflate how much power kings could actually wield and what their lawful powers were.

>being a munk in celibacy is comfy
no, trying nofap is painful enough

Most of the misconceptions about the middle ages comes from us moderners trying to justify our modern age in comparison to the middle ages. The term itself "middle ages" is modern, it denotes a sort of "transition", a middle step between the darkness of ancient times, and the glory of modernity. It's a bit complex to explain, but this is the spirit that prevails in our time, we feel ourselves superior to every preceding time period, mostly because of our technological innovations like smartphones and satellites.

>munk
*i meant monk

What, do you think the crusades actually were about killing muslims and that it was a good thing?

where the fuck did i even state that you illiterate fuck? personally i think the crusades were not just about killing muslims but i do think that it is a good thing that they happened.

I should've said Britain.
>Constant wars between the English, Irish, Scots and Welsh
>Danish attacks into the 14th Century
>Massive Civil wars that go unremarked because they've been overshadowed by the War of the Roses, i.e. Simon de Montfort
>massive peasant revolts including the most famous in European history over the poll tax

...

That the medieval age was an era of religious harmony untilll an evil German monk ruined everything

This one.
>dude Gallileo lmao
Fucking faggot was persecuted for deliberalely pissing off the Pope in a unrelated matter, not because muh evil church was trying to stop science.

>dirty, dumb, Christian scum

Obviously the "Christian dark ages" or just "dark ages" meme that's been debunked by historians now.

That the Spanish inquisition was so horrifying.
If anything, a lot of women wanted to be judged by the inquisition rather than local rules because the inquisition was milder. They knew the women were lying when they said they went up the mountain and fucked with Satan. There was quite the debate about the existence of devils.
The Italian inquisition was much harsher.

>a lot of women wanted to be judged by the inquisition rather than local rules because the inquisition was milder

The Spanish Crown didn't prosecute "witches" that was the Inquisition's job. Literally every person "properly" convicted of witchcraft or heresy and subsequently executed by the Crown was a victim of the Inquisition.

The fact you know the Italian and German Inquisitions were just as bad shows you're halfway to enlightenment. The stages are:
>The Inquisition killed people and were evil >:(
>The Inquisition wasn't as bad as people said it was
>The Inquisition was as bad as people said it was

I suggest reading Europe's Inner Demons by Norman Cohn.

>this idea that the Church actively repressed science and kept people in the dark while in reality they were the only ones who kept it from being lost
yes it was great that the church went to such lengths to copy and preserve texts, but if it hadn't been for the church Rome wouldn't have fallen so there wouldn't have been a need for preservation in the first place

>the dark ages are a meme meme
there was an extreme decline after the fall of the WRE that lasted for several centuries

"Dark Ages".
Everyone wore brown.
Everyone used swords.
Nobody ever bathed.
Knights were slow.
Guns didn't exist.
Probably more I can't think of.

How was it a good thing? The crusader states collapsed after only two centuries. You can actually argue that the Crusades had a negative effect on Christianity in general because of the disaster that was #4.

>people only lived to about 30

This, so much.
I even tried to explain how medians work, and idiots still refuse to understand.

if you restrict the term to mean early-middle ages, then yes there was a decline because of the fall of WRE. even then, the term "dark ages" still gives the wrong idea for most laymen. its just a term that does more harm than good for understanding.

>However, in the later 20th century other historians became critical even of this nonjudgmental use of the term, for two main reasons.[10] Firstly, it is questionable whether it is ever possible to use the term in a neutral way: scholars may intend this, but ordinary readers may not so understand it. Secondly, 20th century scholarship has exploded understanding of the history and culture of the period,[42] and so it no longer so 'dark' to us. To avoid the value judgment implied by the expression, many historians now avoid it altogether.[43]

>if it hadn't been for the church Rome wouldn't have fallen
nice b8

Brutalism is a type of architecture

Its true that the average person died before 40 though.

It's a very nice type of architecture.

No. That was the average life expectancy because so many people died as infants and children. If you survived childhood you had an excellent chance of living into your 60s.

Pipe down, Feuerstein.

>That it was a backward, poor shithole

But it basically was. Europe only became significant upon the advent of the Renaissance and Age of Discovery, which brought wealth as well as scientific/cultural advancement.

Europe in the middle age made very little scientific achievements, compared with say China or the Abbasid caliphate. Additionally, European art was crap at the time (pic related), not because it was basic, but because it was fucking boring.


I know everyone on this board loves to be contrarian, but seriously, would you prefer to be a medieval knight in the 1200s, or a wealthy merchant in Renaissance Italy? Whether or not you want to be autistic about this is entirely up to you.

The so-called "Islamic Golden Age".

Roman Empire existed longer as an explicitly Christian state than it did in any other form

People taking the term dark ages literally rather than knowing it's between the Roman Empire and the enlightenment

No it's just the middle of the ages
Current age
Middle age
Classical age (bronze and Iron Age)

>poll tax
But they couldn't vote?

Indeed, he was a friar, just like Mendeleev

That there were an era of progress. People constantly speak of its achievements and how much it is better than other eras, yet constantly fail to mention it is a 1000 year period being compared to less than 500 years period. That is literally half of when people started to record time so of coz there will be some achievements here and there

That the witch hunts were a thing of the middle ages when most of them actually happened in the early modern period.

That's not even exclusive to the middle ages, most people think modern Africans live until their late twenties and then randomly drop dead.

What did the Abbasid's do?

>Cohn
Sounds Jewish.

That people in mediaeval Europe were all white. In fact, historical records showed many people were brown on the outside but white on the inside, and immigrated to Europe and Britain, as far back as the era of King Arthur.

>That England was a more advanced, developed and peaceful country while the rest of Europe was backwards and violent.
I've never seen this meme in pop culture. I'd say the average normie is perfectly aware of the wars with Scotland or France

Buddy, go read some Augustine.

HOL UP

Not the Western Empire

>People actually claim there was less light during the Dark Ages

So?

Fucking LAPD man

Because that's the only Roman Empire that was actually Roman

>unrelated matter
proof?

Opinion disregarded.

>spears don't work in duels
>vikings were good fighters
>leather armor
>anyone at all giving a fuck about glorious death in battle

Galileo wasn't even from the Middle Ages.

STUDDED
LEATHER

>leather armor
this is a big one. thank dungeons and dragons for that

But we're literally talking about an Empire that contains Rome

Didn't they take till the 18th century to accept the theory?

That there were wild forests in England during the middle ages

>HURR

Without the crusades, Spain is still muslim, and there is no doubt at all that Europe would have faced more muslim invasions and would probably not have survived.

Are people on this board really this fucking stupid?

the capital of the Roman Empire is not Rome it is Istanbul.

Since that user is correct, I can only assume it's your own stupidity you are lamenting.

Sobel, Dava (2000) [1999]. Galileo's Daughter. London: Fourth Estate. ISBN 1-85702-712-4.

Galileo's enemies accused him of heresy and then backed the pope into a corner calling him a weak leader and so he was forced to appease them by sentencing Galileo

The Reconquesta wasn't a Crusade.

>Reconquesta is the same as the crusades

Kill yourself

>DURR

Maybe try reading a book, dumb bastards.

>Islamic
>golden
>age
They're not a Crusade, but they are a crusade

The ice age did cause less light tho

No it doesn't. If anything it makes things brighter because snow has a very high albedo.

>That England was a more advanced, developed and peaceful country while the rest of Europe was backwards and violent.

I live in England and I've never heard anyone imply this ever, where are you getting this meme from?

Peasant revolts were pretty rare and the 1381 didn't really involve that many people desu

It's an American meme afaict. Also a Britshit here, we are taught that France and Italy were the most advanced parts of Europe.

Holywar != Crusade

I didn't say it was a crusade you illiterate retard, I said that without the crusades it wouldn't have succeeded. Read a fucking book you literal moron.

>Muslims would have overtaken Europe without crusaders stirring up the middle east and sacking Constantinople

Yes, without the Crusaders taking the fight to them, Muslims would have continued to attempt to conquer Europe. How do I now? Because as soon as the crusades ended, the Muslims began invading Europe again. The crusades gave us a 200 year hiatus, long enough for our new post-Roman states to establish themselves and resist the Muslims when they resumed their invasions under the Turkish Kaliphates.

>Europe in the middle age made very little scientific achievements, compared with say China or the Abbasid caliphate

Literally bullshit, Europe advanced significantly in a number of fields

I think the only medieval nation Americans get educated on is England. So I can see where that is coming from.

Nigger by the time of the first crusade the Muslim world had completely fractured and only really posed a thread to the Byzantines.

It's easy if you've never done it

What?
The Crusades were inter-religious military campaigns sanctioned by the Latin Church.

For all intents and purposed the Reconquista was part of the Crusades, more so than the Fourth fucking Crusade.

The muslim world had balkanized long before the Crusades.

Muslim invasions of Europe continued nonetheless, and only ended (briefly) during the crusades. Also Europe was not the only victim, look what happened to West Africa and India if you want examples of Islam spreading thru conquest despite a lack of pan-Islamic unity, and of course the most devastating Muslim atrocity, the mass taking of slaves of the unbelievers, continued despite any central muslim authority at all, since it was religiously motivated.

No.
The crusades were glorified banditry,a method of relieving Jewish and Islamic wealth and knowledge to the previously impoverished west

>you steal someone's property
>they come and ineffectually try to reclaim it
>"Fucin bandits!"

The Crusades did a better job of weakening Eastern Europe then it did fighting Muslims.

Crusading Seljuks in Anatolia and the Levant did fuck all to the Iberian wars against the Andalusian's.

>Reclaim
Islam never conquered western europe, so you argument fails

Catholics have 0 claim to the Levant, no matter how many documents you forge.

The Byzantines were a failed state that would have collapsed anyway, Crusades or not.

>Reclaim it
>not hand it back to the ERE