My company ranks employee performance on a bell curve and fire the 10% bottom under performers every year. I got notified by HR today that I'm on the lower end of the bell curve and they're now forcing me to submit double the number of reports I write every week. On top of that I have to attend various shitty self-help meme seminars to get a certificate which says "I'm a productive employee".
Has anyone else been in a similar situation before? How did you survive it and manage to find the will power to not kill yourself?
This is just sound business practice. Once a year, you clear out the deadwood. Sorry, OP.
Angel Perry
whats it like to be nigger tier
Brody Anderson
>I got notified by HR today that I'm on the lower end of the bell curve and they're now forcing me to submit double the number of reports I write every week. On top of that I have to attend various shitty self-help meme seminars to get a certificate which says "I'm a productive employee".
Wagecucks
Why do you put up with this? I'm not saying it's better to live in your mom's basement but it can't be much worse than being degraded like this by people with power over you?
OP, I hope you invested in crypto over the last few months. Or I hope you're spending time working on a side project business. Or I hope you're looking to take out a loan to buy some rental properties or retire. Just something to show you're working to escape being humiliated by your 'superiors'.
How can anyone live their life like this and retain any self respect? How can you find value and meaning in your life when you spend the majority of it being treated like a disposable cog in a machine?
Thanks for the motivation to work harder on my businesses OP. I don't want to go back to that life ever again.
Jacob Rogers
Its a Fortune 500 company, yes.
Yeah you're right. Just wish there was a painless way to kms in my sleep tbqh
Nolan Carter
If they think you're not being productive enough, find a way to attach your name to additional projects without doing much work.
You know that Chad you hate because he gets more recognition than you from the managers yet you know for a fact he barely works?
be that guy
Aiden Myers
I mean, if you're bottom 10% you're bottom 10%. I've heard of Exxon and Dow doing this shit. I would start looking for a new job. Find a place that doesn't do this or find a job you can be prodictive at.
Henry Moore
I've been in such a situation before. I applied to a different position within the company, got hired, in my new position I don't have to give a fuck.
Just escape forward
John Gray
Looks like your manager isn't happy with you. Invest in some knee-pads this week, you have a lot of work to do if you want to get that smoking hot 4% raise!
William Anderson
I've got a few fractions of bitcoin and some ether. Not enough to retire yet I'm afraid. >Find a place that doesn't do this or find a job you can be prodictive at.
Thing is, I'm a shit employee. I procrastinate a lot and have a shit attention span.
I think kms really is the best option tbqh.
Zachary Nelson
wise word man i just quitted my wagecuck job to work on myself and not being dependent by going to work like the other cucks.
Jackson Barnes
No need for sudoku. Just learn from the experience. Next time, learn how the evaluations work on day one and start stacking the deck.
Brandon Diaz
Find a job at a place that is glorified babysitting where you dont have to do shit. Of course theyre going to want you to be productive, you work for a fortune 500 company. Find something where the bureaucratic and corporate bloat is so big that you don't have to do anything
Connor Price
no, it isn't. according to jojo peterson productivity isn't reflected in the bell curve as much as the pareto distribution. meaning, you still keep all the leeches. even worse, it also means that with team size the relative amount of productive team members shrinks.
additionally finding a sound measure of productivity in ridiculous hard when it comes to anything other than simple production. it's like the horror stories you heard in the 90s about management trying to score programmer productivity according to lines of code produced.
Brandon Reed
You run your company your way, I'll run my company my way.
Ian Harris
>I think kms really is the best option tbqh. NO
OP there are other ways of living besides wage slavery, a million ways to make money for yourself. And even if you can't escape wage slavery there are tons of nice jobs out there that are meaningful and fun
Gabriel Russell
Tell them thats not how a bell curve works. The data makes the curve. Not you fit the data to the curve.
Jason Rodriguez
Yeah, that'll definitely keep his job
William Powell
>This is just sound business practice. It isn't. Randomly applying the bell curve to things which have no reason to have a bell curve attached them is simply retarded. Take for example an investment firm wherein the bottom performs with the lowest P/L in a given period get fired. This would force the whole firm to have people composed of people looking out for high gains on quarterly or yearly basis with no thought given to the risk or reward on any other window of time. A man in '05 who saw the housing market doomed to crash, would have been run out of the firm for suggesting to either cut back on housing investments or even trying to set up some kind of short for them.
Adrian Evans
>fortune 500 >treat its workers if they were 1950's machine workers Well that's no big news these old bureaucratized are becoming history
Kevin Price
I don't have to believe the bell curve bullshit to use it as a justification to trim the herd. It is a way of covering your ass when you fire a useless employee. For example: I need to fire a diversity hire because they are worthless in their job. Employee screams "you fired me because I am a black muslim woman." I reply "No, I fired you because you are in the bottom 10% of our performance bell curve and it is our company policy to fire you." See how that might be useful?
David Butler
>I don't have to believe the bell curve bullshit to use it as a justification to trim the herd. Except when you trim the herd blindly following "what the curve says," you more often than not end up fucking yourself over because instead of breeding good employees, you breed ruthless cutthroats who know nothing else except how to game a system to their advantage, and produce nothing of real value. If you want get rid of deadwood that's good, but if you're so retarded you can't figure who is worthless and who isn't you have no business running a company.
Chase Parker
You have actually no clue how HR works. Nobody complains about dismissing absolute retards, because this is a normal thing to do.
It is the fact that relative performance measurements itself is retarded when it comes to HR. If the amount of effective and profitable workers is above your chosen threshold (10% in this case), you dont need to pressure them. Replacing them may be hard and fecking expensive, you literally burn money that way, as you neglect e.g. the learning curve.
If you are young you might want to consider a change of career. There are lots of jobs out there that pay well and might be a lot more satisfying than wagecucking for a F500 company. If I were young and single I might seriously consider joining the merchant navy or something, saving thousands of $ a month to invest and retiring young.
Grayson Hughes
Find a career that requires a degree but is shift work. Sounds comfy desu. I know a few people who oversee shitty small CPU production working 4 days a week. Sounds like the dream desu >tfw considering quitting cause that sounds fucking comfy
Alexander Williams
>muh dragons
Brody Thompson
Rank and Yank is a classic, shitty, management practice. There are a number of metrics that aren't directly tied to the number of widgets an employee produces that the measure fails to capture.
Find another job.
Jaxson Brooks
Op strikes at a point that makes a lot of sense.
Fresh blood does not show its capabilities until after a few months of training.
