Tell me about bankers

They bank.

I went to Wharton and IB was every kid's wet dream there. Every one of them was backstabbing and unhealthily competitive too.

But if you want to be a banker OP and can still manage to get in, it's really the place to go.

Tfw my crypto gains wont give me an asian gf who loves me

Eh... I'm a banker and I don't do buying and selling.

I'm in the finance department at a bank. I work in the profitability unit.

You're thinking of the treasury unit.

Nobody knows.

Just get an asian bf.

This is laughably wrong

A Bank takes your deposit and lends it out to other people, hoping you don't come back and call your whole deposit.

The only reason this can exist is because in accounting, an asset must be balanced with a liability.

In truth, none of this makes any sense. Accounting was invented so banking could exist. It's actually a really big scam if you think about it.

Anyway, there's a bunch of rules we have to follow and stuff. We lend money to good people though and do pay a fair interest rate to depositors.

Our "profitability" for your loan is your interest rate minus the place on the treasury curve where the average duration of your loan is found at the time of the loan.

For example, if you got a 30 year mortgage, the average duration is about 7 years. This means that on average, the mortgage will be paid off in 7 years (you refi or sell the house).

Our cost is what the 7 year treasury curve is today--so we obviously have to charge you more than that and give our depositors less than that.

That's how we make money!

If you're looking to get into IB do not touch the retail side. It's absolute cancer on a resume.

t. Wisconsin MBA/CFA at Credit Suisse.

how do I start my own bank

all makeup

Shoot higher if you're going to go Asian

during the day, they sleep in coffins. at night they prowl the streets cutting innocent men's purse strings.

>20
>banker

She's some executive's eye candy and fuck toy at work

tfw asian gf who loves me but I don't love her

What about MM commercial banking. My boy's dad is a regional VP at a large bank (JPM,WF, Bank of America) and I figured I would work up to associate and then go to get my MBA and switch to IB

You are not a "banker" at 20. She is at best an intern and more likely a part-time teller.

r u me?

yes

Commercial banking is just retail banking with an extra comma here and there. You're better off getting your 6, 7, and 63 and working on a trading desk before scoring a 700+ GMAT and stepping away for a couple years to do your MBA then your CFA.

Also, VP means nothing in these settings as almost everyone with a pulse is a VP or higher, so the First Brothers from Aerotyne can say they deal with a VP at wherever the fuck. It makes the clients feel fancy, but basically means your buddy's dad is a nobody. Sorry.

Whatever, nerd.

Run a Monero full node

You sound like someone who works at a bank and resents the fact that you take part in a system you know is inherently a scam.

I go to a non target school (MBA ranked ~50), would I still be able to get a solid job on graduation. I will probably graduate with like a 3.7 and my school only offers management for undergrad.Kinda fucked up senior year of HS and did not apply to a top undergrad.

That's probably fine, especially if you rape the GMATs and kill it on your essay. Contact to popular belief, they care less about undergraduate degree, especially if you can articulate your path/career arc and stack up well on the standardized tests.

And what job should I go for when I graduate? I am going into my junior year and don't live in a financial hub (Orlando). I could probably get an internship at a small botique IB or Corpfin job during the year. What should I do for senior internship. The advisors at my school are idiots so not really sure what path to follow for getting into a excellent MBA program.

I work for a certain bank that will go far with you.

Bankers are fucking idiots that sit in a branch all day and sign people up for products. That's literally it.

Maybe they resolve some customer service bs if someone is being a lunatic in the branch, but that'll likely go through the branch manager.

Honestly there are tons of gigs in Charlotte if you want to avoid NYC or Chicago. For admissions purposes, boutique firms are tricky because the admissions cunts don't always understand what they do, so you have to convey the value to them in your essay(s). You could also target a finance position at a place like Disney. Disney, GE, and all those old-school DJIA firms are fucking catnip.

Another thing to consider is taking the altruistic route just to get into grad school. I did an econ undergrad then worked for the state department, then did a song and dance for the admissions fuckers about how I wanted to work at the VA and serve our beloved veterans and blah blah blah. Joke's on them. It isn't like you're signing a commitment to not enter IB or Consulting.

I guess I did, in a roundabout way, work for the VA. As a consultant with BAH.

You are thinking of broker.

>performer/singer
Stay the fuck away, the absolute worst

t. Performer/singer

I own a ton of preferred bank stock
The bankers pay me! muahah!

Lmao. Fuck I'm glad my life worked out the way it did. I wish you the best but that grind sounds shit to me.

How do I get into this working as a trader at a bank? This is biz not job so what I really want is to work there long enough to learn all the tricks and secrets from the bank traders and then go my own way.

So I should work on getting my certifications and look for trading analyst jobs. Are they prestige whores at larger banks and firms? That seems to be pretty interesting. Also, would it look better to be a trader than say a financial analyst?

I definitely had to play the game to get where I am, but now I'm 35 making close to 200k plus bonus, equity, and benefits... And roughly 70-80% of my day is watching KSP videos while my R code executes.

Traders are a dime a dozen. CFA exams are fucking widowmakers and separate the average from the exceptional. Don't get me wrong. I know traders and CFPs who make a killing, but I would rather live off the strength of my models and analytical ability than my salesmanship, is all.

And yes, 100% the adcoms at the HSW type schools are prestige whores. If you don't have the right last name, you need the right resume. Or have some ridiculous Malala-tier story to sell them. The hiring managers are not much better, which is why the academic pedigree of a place like Harvard or Chicago opens doors.

>banker
Lel she wishes.

I figured for thew top three. What would you recommend to be a good job in finance for a non-target graduate that looks good to prestigious B schools. I don't mind if it is mind numbing or ridiculous hours because it will only be for a few years.

Finance is actually pretty broad, so it could be something like analytics, actuarial work, data models (like what I do), trading, portfolio construction... Even bookkeeping or capital budgeting. The most important thing to show is how your contributions impact the firm's bottom line and how your responsibility grew over your tenure there.

Did you go from being an individual to running a team of 3, then 7, then 12? Did your budget expand year over year? What sales initiatives or products did you help launch?

Also have an idea of where you want to go and what you want MBA to do for you. How it's it going to address a gap in your skillset and get your where you want to be? Don't forget that it might take you two or three rounds to get in, do you may be looking at 3-5 years before you start your program. You'll also need a letter of rec from at least one professional reference, so check out where your prospective bosses went, and when you work for them, don't coast.

my mom is a vp for bank of america and she does tons of conference calls and deals a lot with bank efficiency. it really is terrible and they demand too much from there employees trying to pinch pennies of extra efficiency out of branches most of the time. it really is a kike business.

count up all the money the bank has in the vault

thank you for this post user

Underrated

she's 1 step above a teller. she sits in a retail branch or in a conference center and tries to sell retail banking products - ie: get people to open new checking/savings accounts, cards, etc.

Why would you guys immediately assume she's not a banker? Sounds like sour grapes.

I went to uni at a target school and knew a girl that got a debt capital markets grad job at goldman sachs, and she would have only been 21 or so at the time. Was also hot as fuck.

youtube.com/watch?v=vRHCp9Wblro

Also I'm a treasury dealer at tier 2 bank, that counts as banker. AMA.

why do banking when you can teach yourself webdev in 6 months, not pay for school, and make more money than a banker?

Dont be a brainlet.

This. Studied with plenty of these types, almost all went straight to big banks or accounting firms the poor souls. Have never heard the term banker used by someone in reference to themselves, 'I'm in banking' probably wouldn't sound that strange though, who the fuck knows just fuck her and find out when they're going to start using XRP.

i doubt webdev is going to get you more than IB banking...

I was thinking that too but it's useless in the age of CMS

>webdev in 6 months
Thank you for creating work for me. I get paid nicely to rewrite garbage PHP and SQL churned out by people who thought they'd learn "webdev in 6 months".