Revelation and John do not fit

What would Christianity be like if Revelation was not considered gospel? What about John?
These are the two books that I feel do not fit with the rest; The character of Jesus in John is not humble like in the rest, but more godly. And Revelation just seems batshit to me, probably the result of mass hysteria and questions about end-times.
Are there churches that don't subscribe to these two books? They seem to be the cause of Christians being nothing like the Jesus they follow.

Is this that Wittgenstein quote?

Yes, in fact Wittgenstein coined the term "batshit".

Wait, are you making fun of my writing style?

If you wrote that shit then you're probalby autistic, son. Maybe even gay.

>I don't like it
>therefore they're bullshit

Nice argument.

I didn't attempt to make an argument. Nice argument.
That may be so. You see what I am getting at, though, right?

Why single out John, none of the Gospels are original to the religion, they're all fanfic based on the earliest Christian documents, the letters of Paul.

Jesus makes absolute "I am" statements in John, saying he is Christ and the Messiah, etc, which he doesn't even get close to in the others. If you remove John, Jesus is a different guy. There is no outright statement of divinity, he is just a great teacher, healer, and continuer of John the Baptist's tradition.

Why not remove the whole fairytale Gospel story, since it's not true and distorts Jesus' message quite badly by forcing his words into contexts that don't match the original context? We have the collection of Jesus' sayings, which are pretty reliable, and we have Paul's letters, which are the foundational documents of Christianity, you don't actually need anything else and in fact you can't properly understand Jesus or his message if you include all that nonsense in the Gospels anyway.

>which he doesn't even get close to in the others

Mark 14:61-62

>Again the high priest asked him, “Are you the Messiah, the Son of the Blessed One?

>Jesus said, “I am; and ‘you will see the Son of Man seated at the right hand of the Power,’ and ‘coming with the clouds of heaven.’”

...

>Mark

Fanfiction.

I would (and do) rather completely ignore all works by Paul as cannon. Paul is objectively wrong in many of his teachings,directly contradicting Jesus, creating whole doctrines out of thin air.
Textual analysis has him use personal pronouns (referring himself) in the first chapter of Romans about two times more than the author of Hebrews did in the entire god dam book. Hmm. Not to mention he outright lies multiple times in his writings. Ahh shit, I can go on about this fag Paul.

Stop reading Paul.

Revelations was written in code.

If you try to interpret it literally you are retarded.

This is why you need an educated hierarchy to interpret scripture.

>This is why you need an educated hierarchy to interpret scripture.
Kek

Hahahaha you dense cunt, Paul is the oldest and most authentic part of the NT, everything else is based on Paul and the "sayings gospel" of Jesus.

...

Says the guy who probably believes that the woman in revelation is Mary and that she's having an intergalactic Jedi space fight with a 7 headed dragon.

I like The Gospel of Thomas (not the infancy gospel, though it's fun fanfiction)

Thomas is good stuff. It was almost canon but they went with John instead because John had a success converting Jews and they liked him more than Thomas.