Craziest and most unusual deaths in history

Is Kenshin an Arab?

My sides

no he's a t*rk

I chuckled

Mushashi killed a samurai with a boat oar. In what was supposed to be a sword duel. After showing up late and forgetting his sword.

One does not question Ninjas.
Simply not.

It's apocraphyl. Kenshin was a huge alcoholic, even by the standards of the day, and destroyed his liver. Kenshin being killed by a toilet ninja has as much chance of being true as the theory of Kenshin actually being a woman.

had a stroke while screaming his lungs out at an envoy of Germanic ambassadors

Ah yes, I can perfectly envision him screaming REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

He was gay and it was a sick way for his enemies to get revenge.

Well he certainly was after dwarf's second swipe

...

holy fucking kek

Fuckin Germies get out REEEEEEEE

Erazem Predjamski (Lueger) was also supposedly killed on a toilet.
>piss of the Habsburgs
>after some skirmishes your castle gets besieged
>it's unbreakable due to being built into a cliff/cave
>get supplies through a secret tunel so there is no worry of starving
>go take a shit one day in an outhouse
>a treacherous servant lights a torch on the outhouse wall
>the Habsburgs blast it with a cannon

>be king Frederick The First
>gather massive army to go crusade
> pimping out yourself with fancy ass armor
>drown in 8 inches of water when you fall off your horse into a river
>mfw

John Sedgwick was a Union army general during the American Civil War, during the battle of Sponsylvania Courthouse, he told his men who were taking cover from enemy fire "why are you dodging like this? They couldn't hit an elephant at this distance" and was immediately shot in the face by a sniper

Attila the Hun literally died of a fucking nosebleed after terrorizing Europe for years.

During the initial Jurchen Invasion of Northern China, the Song Dynasty general, Yang Ye, committed honorable suicide by repeatedly bashing his head on a gravestone after falling back from a disastrous battle and ending up in a cemetery.

The sad bit is, since Chinese generals tend to surround themselves with a picked guard composing of mercenaries, professional soldiers, close friends and relatives, he saw all his sons killed in battle (all fucking 6 of them where in his bodyguard)

Oh and speaking of honorable suicides, the Imai Kanehira- a Taira Ally during the Gempei War- committed the edgiest seppuku ever after being cornered by the Minamoto.

He bit his sword vertically, with the edge bifurcating his upper jaw, and plunged headfirst from his horse.

>he doesn't loud announce who he is before taking a shit

One of Chinese history's most celebrated poets, Li Bai,- a poet famous for making shitloads of poems about alcohol and getting drunk- dies of drowning after drunkenly trying to embrace the reflection of the moon on the water while he was being ferried on a boat.

>nosebleed myth

His wife poisoned him at dinner

Sounds like something Bam would do on Jackass.

>le washing down figues with wine meme

hhehehe

>poetically ask physician how to cure his ailment
>they don't know wtf he's talking about
>decides to cover himself with cow shit and dies from it

>cave castle

That's pretty fucking rad, never knew shit like that existed.

Brutal but probably also a near painless way to go if you manage to get the spine.

Some Greek dude had a bird drop a turtle on his bald head thinking it was a rock. Roman von Ungern-Sternbeck was pretty badass brutal with some of his killings. Anything involving Roman emperors. One of them smothered his dinner guests in rose petals.

No it took 3 days for a dwarf ninja to crawl from Kenshin's asshole.

You learn about Uesugi Kenshin's diet and recognize him by the consistency, color, smell, and taste of the poo.

It takes a very specialised kind of ninja.

He probably liked it

>such is life as a crusader

god, even that picture made me kek

...

he identified Uesugi by her vagina I assume

Why isn't there a guro doujin about both being true?

The 8th Diagram Pole Fighter is based on this, pretty good kung fu flick

Thats a DC80 escape artist check

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Siege_of_Famagusta

Bragadin's flaying

Geez, I'm gonna have to check my toilet for ass-assins before sitting down tonight

Icarus. Died from acting like every teenager ever.

He said history, not mythology.

If he was trying to look intimidating, he failed completely. Looks bro as fuck.

Chrysippus
>spend whole life advocating and practicicing Stoicism, control over emotions, and logic
>see a donkey eat some figs
>yell out, "Hey I bet that donkey could use some wine to wash that down"
>literally die laughing at my own dumb unfunny joke

Kenshin was out for three days.
The dwarf hid in his toilet/room for three days waiting for him.

>lord's personal shitter
>other people using it

I think he was amused that the donkey's inarticulate, clumsy attempts to eat the figs made the donkey appear like it was fucking wasted. He probably had a stroke or something while he was laughing.

It's not a bad way to die, really: your last living thought one of unremitting amusement, the kind of laugh that makes you choke because it's so god damn funny, and those kind of laughs are always over something retarded, like watching your boss trip and fall into the mud, or watching somebody you don't like tumble gracelessly down a flight of stairs, or watching a drunk donkey trying haplessly to eat a fig. It's sort of an ironic one for a professed Stoic, though.

>Die while Shit posting

Was he the first Aussie ?

Best death.
Sleept tight Dominus Autismo

No, Al. That would be too quick for you.

Reminded me about Czech duke Jaromír from Premyslid dynasty.

>His older brother Boleslaus III has him castrated.
>Runs away with younger brother Oldřich and their mother.
>Returns with army and regains small land.
>Rules and manages to break off from Boleslav I the Brave idea of joint kingdoms.
>Gets desposed of by brother Oldřich who rules in his stead.
>During imprisonment he gets blinded.
>Once he is released and denounces claim to throne, a mere shell of his former self remains as he tries to calmly defecate one day in 1035 AD.
>Gets pirced through anus by spear by on contract from rival clan.