>I go back in time to a random 1300s A.D. English town
>I go to the middle of the town market and scream 'Fuck Jesus Christ, he's a faggot. Mary had an affair with a Roman soldier and Jesus is its result. Jesus is a bastard of a Roman soldier.'
On a scale from 1 to 10, how painful will my death be?
Hwaet?
It's extremely unlikely you'd die. Probably get whipped for disturbing the peace, but that's it. The real probably would be when you starve to death because nobody is willing to give you a job.
>Hwaet
>outing yourself as a dumbass by acting clever
I am fully aware of language differences. I thought Veeky Forumsfags were smart enough to not need insinuations such as "yeah but I will say in in Old English of course, not modern english, haha'
>"haha I was just pretending to be retarded!"
Second pbp
The people throw you out of town if you bother them too much. That's about the worst of it.
>conflating Old English and Middle English
Retard
>1300s
>old english
twat
I kek'd.
Hmmmm. Good question. You might be able to blame your herercy on the devil or the pagan Irish tricked you. in which case you can then tell them you havent been baptized and then as soon as youre baptized just act normal and become a rich banker.
If not that, then im not tok sure. Confession of sins, whipped, jailed, but you could easily escape and run to a monastry where theyll house you for 40 days until you can escape england or just become an outlaw.
depends on the part of England too...some towns still spoke languages closer to Flemish, French or (lowland) Scottish.
(even some Welsh close the Marches)
any-who assuming they could understand you, you're a stranger and not a citizen of the town, so for disturbing the peace like you are they'd probably (as mentioned earlier) beat you out of town.
unless there had been a series of unsolved minor crimes recently in which case the Bailiff may just pin it all on you (cause no-one knows you) and after a short trial, hang you.
Ohhh... you picked a very bad time to be a heretic in England. This would be during the 370 year period when Jews couldn't live in England, or practice their religion openly. By comparison, Spain would be a garden of liberal tolerance during the same era. Early 14th century England would probably find a roundabout way to convict you for clipping coins or killing kids if blasphemy wasn't enough. You might have eyes or teeth plucked out. You might be left to the mob at night, or you could be hanged.
Of course if you were stupid enough to pull a stunt like that after the Black Death, you would be targeted by mob attacks.
During the reign of King Richard II and you might just be dragged off on Crusade to atone for your sins, but even that is not a great option since your group would be placed at the front of some of those sieges.
>but you could easily escape and run to a monastry where theyll house you for 40 days until you can escape england or just become an outlaw.
this....ironically enough your best bet of getting away unharmed is to seek sanctuary with the church, they'll probably feed you to.
also great idea blaming it on the Irish...
>makes shitty thread
>damage control
good job OP. Nobody would do anything to the unintelligible asshole flailing in the town square except maybe try to help you.
Probably assume that you are possessed and pack you off to the nearest monastery for fasting and prayer.
Enjoy being pilloried.
Mencken suggests Maimonides under 'Apostacy': "Utter the formula and live", which is the suggestion that non-believers should behave as believers.
Blasphemy laws are seeing a resurgence these days.
huffingtonpost.ca
Your question hinges on Saint Aquinas and his role in England at that time.
Thank you Veeky Forums.
'hwaet' is old english you spastics.
>1300s
>Old English
Shut the fuck up already you ignorant piece of shit.
en.wikipedia.org
"Middle English (ME) is collectively the varieties of the English language spoken after the Norman Conquest (1066) until the late 15th century; scholarly opinion varies but the Oxford English Dictionary specifies the period of 1150 to 1500.[2]"
...
Welcome to Veeky Forums, enjoy your Old english stay
Nice.
wtf, Ireland was Christian before England was. In fact if you're in a Northern English town they were directly converted by the Irish.
Chuckled
>le pls dont make a joke in my joke thread
Is this bait can you actually be mad when the answer your looking for is some
"SUUUPER PAINFUL XDDD PULLED APART BY PIGS MAN"
Middle English is basically the same as modern English anyway, they would probably understand you a bit but think you're retarded
People hardly understand you because Middle English sounds so different not to mention how speech patterns have changed over time
Who is this raving lunatic faggot, best avoid him.
Stop with this meme. The Romans brought Christianity to Britain. They brought it to England and Wales and it spread from there.
The confusion exists because many of the germanics arriving in England were not Christian. Many of them remained pagan but over time they converted.
Christianity was brought to Ireland because of Irish raids on Roman Britain. The same way it made its way to Scandinavia from norse raids on a Christian Britain.
Folk tales about verious Saints converting entire islands are Catholic memes.
t. Catholic
why cant you just take a joke you tremendous faggot
That's not what hwæt means
Lucky for you, they wouldn't be able to understand your english.
