You're in the camp and this guy comes up and slaps your ass and tells you that you're his toy now. What do you do?

You're in the camp and this guy comes up and slaps your ass and tells you that you're his toy now. What do you do?

help him destroy alexandria by being his boislave

try to convince him to rape the Sassanids before they become a thing

Debase his currency

>Sassanids rape a gigantic army of super heavy cavalry
>Caracalla gets murdered like a bitch by a random soldier
>rape Sassanids
Ayyyyy

>guaranteed replies

That's this entire thread.

>only screws with the Romans when they are preoccupied with another army.
>implying they can do jack when they bring their entire force armsdeep in them.

>only screws with the Parthians and Persians when their fighting other armies
>can never get past Ctesiphon
>despite hitting it six times and it being less then 60 kilometers from Roman borders

Cant do much against an emperator.
Shiet its going to hurt

Being the imperial boytoy would a great honor.

I accept, Caracalla-San

Stab him to death when he stops to take a piss.

finally a bf

Wasn't the average Roman Emperor like 5'7 tall?

>implying that the Romans cared about backwards Persians except for wanting them to stop raiding Roman territories like the niggers they were.

I'd kill myself. I'll never understand people who just surrender to some fucked up situation. I'd prefer to end my life with my own hands.

What was Caracalla's sexuality actually?

>I'll never understand people who just surrender to some fucked up situation.

>implying suicide isn't just surrendering to some fucked up situation

If you weren't a fucking coward you'd try to change the situation for the better instead of literally quitting life to avoid being an emperor's buttbitch.

Fuck off with that Greek shit, Caracalla is a strong muscular Roman god.

...

>implying that the eternal Romans didn't care about the vastly more advanced Persians and treasured the shit out of the riches and advanced provinces of Mesopotamia
>implying otherwise at any point unironically proves you are nothing but historically illiterate