Favorite quotes thread

Favorite quotes thread

"What are you gonna do, stab me?"
-Julius Caesar

"Going to Little Bighorn to disrupt the Lakota/Indian supremicist circle jerk today. Nervous AF but determined to bring back 100 Indian scalps."

- George A. Custer

"lel wtf are logistics?"

-Erwin Rommel

>"wtf who are these guys oh shi-"
Oskar Dirlewanger :-(

muh fleet

"Stop it mom. I know how to lean back in my chair without falling. You're being too overprotective"

António de Oliveira Salazar

"What do you mean I have a country to run? I'm too busy pretending to be a commoner like the rulers in my poetry!"

"Dude what lmao"

"I've already been exiled once; what are they gonna do, exile me again?"

~Napoleon Bonaparte

"Winter gear? Where we're going we don't need winter gear."

"The armenians stole our winter gear"

"Now listen, I want to make this perfectly clear - whatever you hear from my room, don't enter."

- Joseph Stalin

"...."

What is your return policy?

Sic semper tyrannis

Did he really think he could win?

>what are you going to do, shoot me?
- roman von ungern sternberg

"Hahahahaha How The Fuck Is Chinese Intervention Real Hahahahaha Nigga They Won't Attack Right After WWII Like Nigga Just Ignore Those Chinese Advisors Hahahahahahaha"
-MacArthur.

"My Sword is a tool of JUSTICE!" Miyamoto Musashi

>A famous anecdote tells of a dinner party during which the person sitting adjacent to the Coolidge said: “Mr. President I’ve made a large bet that I would be able to make you say more than two words.” Coolidge considered this proposition carefully and then replied slowly and emphatically, “You lose.”
He was too cool for this world

"Not to worry, my Schnecke, I'm sure the invading armies will gang rape little boys, too."

>Gurrglleagrrgghhh Blubburrrghhh
Unknown Atlantean knight before the battle of 5600 BCE, pic related

"Well, this seems to be going remarkably well. With any luck, we'll begin a new and prosperous dynasty, I just need to go mop up theis Sassanid force and we can get back to the sixth good emperor. Truly, the crisis years are over" - Timosethius, Praetorian Prefect to Gordian the Third, moments before his death, which resulted in the collapse of Gordian III's regime, and the subsequent intensification of the crisis of the third century.

"Anthony, you gigantic faggot, what are you gonna do, assassinate me?" - Cicero

Nature shows that with the growth of intelligence comes increased capacity for pain, and it is only with the highest degree of intelligence that suffering reaches its supreme point.

I hardly think melee weapons adapted for use underwater would look like the weapons used on land, they would use something more like a trident, I believe.

i am the Sandwich man

...

"No, we're sending the Ukrainese. The Russians would be too sympathetic to them to fight properly. And now, what is there to stop the Ukrainese that wouldn't stop the Russians - the snow?" - Stalin

it's funny because it's true

underrated

"What are you doing up there miss?"

This pops up in Donnie Brasco where he's trying to eat with his kids and their giving him the silient treatment.
"I bet you can't get through breakfast without saying three words"
"You lose"

"What do you mean 'civilian government'?"

>I mean, fuck. Paying slightly more taxes is the least they can do for us saving them from the French.
-George III

"They'll never shoot me in my own county"

-Michael Collins

"We need to build a wall " - emperor Hadrian ( 122 AD )

"Thinking is cowardice."
- Lieutenant General Baron R. F. von Ungern-Sternberg

...

Hadrian is such a goodie.

"We need to build a wall and we will make the Picts pay for it."

Lusius Quietus: "You know it's times like this I'm glad that someone with the temperament of Hadrian isn't Princeps"

Hadrian: "Because you'd be in jail…"

Ugh, you don't get to bring elephants.

Why are tridents adapted for underwater use?

"If I know anything about the serbians, its that they're only capeable of one assassination attempt per day"
-Sarajevo police chief, 1914

I think he means that underwater you want more stabby than swingy because of different physics.

"[Redacted]"

---Classified

"12th time's the charm"

"There is no need for an alliance, France, Hitler's intentions are peaceful."

"You know, I'm glad I purged this new Turkish state of the problems that caused the slow painful death of the Ottoman Empire. I'm sure all my successors will follow in my footsteps and ensure that Turkey continues to be a secular nation."
-Mustafa Kemal Ataturk

"DUDE SPOOKS LMAO"
-Max Stirner

Good one.

"I drank what?"
-Socrates

No one can do anything without at the same time doing it for the sake of one or other of his needs and for the sake of the organ of this need — for Stirner this means that this need and its organ are made into a master over him, just as earlier he made the means for satisfying a need into a master over him. Stirner cannot eat without at the same time eating for the sake of his stomach. If the worldly conditions prevent him from satisfying his stomach, then his stomach becomes a master over him, the desire to eat becomes a fixed desire, and the thought of eating becomes a fixed idea — which at the same time gives him an example of the influence of world conditions and fixing his desires and ideas. Sancho's "revolt" against the fixation of desires and thoughts is thus reduced to an impotent moral injunction about self-control and provides new evidence that he merely gives an ideologically high sounding expression to the most trivial sentiments of the petty-bourgeois.

[The following two paragraphs are crossed out in the manuscript (brackets are used for words that were illegible)]:

Whoever wrote that doesn't understand Stirner at all.

Behold! Plato's man.

>"IT WAS JUST A PRANK, BRO."

I drank what?
-Socrates

>Drive me closer! I want to hit them with my sword!

kek

A single russian death is not enough. A million russian deaths is a statistic.

sir please delete this

"as a carpenter, I gotta say, this is a pretty good cross. Well built, and can support the weight of one Jewish dude"

-Jesus

"Violence never solves anything."
- Genghis Khan

Lel

...

Funny because that is a decent summary of what he actually said

I tried so hard
And got so far
But in the end
It doesn't even matter
I had to fall
To lose it all
But in the end
It doesn't even matter

That first one sounds like a joke the History of Rome would've had when it reached Timosethius

"[autistic screeching]" - Commodus

"S-stick your dick deeper into me, Hierocles! I-I'm your queen!"

Imagine being Hierocles in that time and having to be all like "damn, Emperor, you fuckin' fine, all sexy with your thicc body and horrific masculine monster face. I would totally have sex with you, both my charioteer me and the real me." when all he really wants to do is fuck another 16 year old slave in his room. Like seriously imagine having to be Hierocles and not only sit in that chair while Elagabalus flaunts his disgusting body in front of you, the favorable make-up barely concealing his masculine features and leathery skin, and just sit there, dance after dance, hour after hour, while he perfected these moves Not only having to tolerate his monstrous fucking visage but his haughty attitude as everyone on the court tells him he's STILL GOT IT and DAMN, CAESAR MARCUS AURELIUS ANTONINUS AUGUSTUS LOOKS LIKE *THAT*?? because they're not the ones who have to sit there and watch his mannish fucking gremlin face contort into types of grimaces you didn't even know existed before that day. You've been fucking nothing but a healthy diet of germanics and gauls and later alleged rape victims for your ENTIRE CAREER coming straight out of some backwater domus in Caria. You've never even seen anything this fucking disgusting before, and now you swear you can taste the sweat that's breaking out on his dimpled stomach as he sucks it in to writhe it suggestively at you, smugly assured that you are enjoying the opportunity to get paid to sit there and revel in his "statuesque (for that is what "she" calls herself)" beauty, the beauty he worked so hard for with personal medici in the previous months. And then the bystanders call for another dance, and you know you could kill every single person in this court before the praetorian guard could put you down, but you sit there and endure, because you're fucking Hierocles. You're not going to lose your future charioteer career over this. Just bear it. Hide your face and bear it.

>Calvin Coolidge when he was President … The President and Mrs. Coolidge were being shown [separately] around an experimental government farm. When [Mrs. Coolidge] came to the chicken yard she noticed that a rooster was mating very frequently. She asked the attendant how often that happened and was told, "Dozens of times each day." Mrs. Coolidge said, "Tell that to the President when he comes by." Upon being told, the President asked, "Same hen every time?" The reply was, "Oh, no, Mr. President, a different hen every time." President: "Tell that to Mrs. Coolidge

Pole arms and other thrusting weapons are hydrodynamic, it's really hard to swing something underwater. Also the multiple prongs make it more likely your going to hit something when water makes moving the point more challenging.

"Hahahahahahahaha How The Fuck Is The French Revolution Real Hahahaha Nigga Just Walk Away To Varennes Like Nigga Initiate A Counter Revolution Haha"

We shall go on to the end. We shall die in Germany, we shall die on the seas and oceans, we shall die with growing confidence and growing strength in the field, we shall defend our Motherland, whatever the cost may be. We shall die on the beaches, we shall die on the landing grounds, we shall die in the fields and in the streets, we shall die in the hills; we shall never survive.

I love Coolidge. He passed the immigration act of 1924.

heh

what if the entire bible is just one long set up for this lame punchline?