Can someone give me the rundown on Dunkirk?

>French thought that Germans could never possibly try to attack them through Belgium like they did before
>Suprise.meinkampf
>French aren't able to defend their country
>Eternal Anglos decide to get out of this clusterfuck
>Apparently, England and Royal Navy, strongest Navy in the world can't spare a few ships
>English civilians decide that this is bullshit and evacuate Tommies themselves

RAF bows to the luftwaffe
Von Manstein is said to be in contact with ancient teutonic knights
Guderian has an IQ of 215

>let's put the whole blame on the French strategists somehow, even though neither the French or British generals brought up that there could be an attack through Luxembourg
>let's pretend that the attack was a retread of the Schlieffen plan, and not something that masqueraded as the Schlieffen but actually tricked the French and Brits into deploying into Belgium to get trapped there

And also,
>French aren't able to defend their country
Mate come on.
Well I mean the French and British weren't able to break out of the encirclement just as much as the other, so everything should get the blame.

dont forget the Germans blundering the Battle of Britain away, right after another miracle at Dunkirk

Ah yes, leave it to the eternal anglo to spin cowardly leaving your allies to get conquered into a "heroic" epic

Dont forget that they also attacked french ships in mars el kebir and southern france to save their monkey island

S'il te vient de t'offusquer sur quelque chose, fais le au moins sur le bombardement du Havre.

Au moins, Mers-el-Kebir peut se justifier, et ils ont agi pensant que ça les sauverait, même si j'avoue que ça aurait pu être mieux géré.

>RAF bows to the luftwaffe
>Von Manstein is said to be in contact with ancient teutonic knights
>Guderian has an IQ of 215
This

...and aliens.

Von Rundstedt is said to be one
You probably have Rommel inside right now

Here, Dunkirk from German POV.
>German general staff drafts plans to attack France
>The original plan (drafted by one of Hitler's generals) is a fast, continuous push through the Beneleux all the way to the channel, doing what the Schlieffen Plan failed to do in the previous war and outflanking loads of allied trooos
>Hitler (among others) is skeptical of the plan and believes it may not work, decides that the push will continue until a predetermined point then stop so the advancing army doesn't get attacked from its extremely long, vulnerable flank
>General that came up with the plan is later dismissed for unrelated reasons, and as Hitler was planning for a long war against France anyway similar to WW1, the plan ends up sidelined
>Germans attack Poland
>wow heh maybe this fast continuous attack thing has some merit after all?
>Blitzkrieg plan is revived, but Hitler is still skeptical
>Germans attack France
>They move through the Ardennes faster than anyone anticipated using a new tactic, a constantly ongoing attack that continuously rolls forward, spearheaded by armor, which would later be called the Blitzkrieg doctrine
>Its so successful that Hitler takes credit for it
>However, Hitler realizes that he's encircled the British Expeditionary Force and can wipe them out before they're able to escape
>Hitler's plan was to quickly take Paris and sue for a "peace with honor" with Britain, so he decides to let thousands of enemy troops willingly escape
>His generals and staff are eager to attack, but contrary to usual Wehrmacht doctrine where officers are able to use their own discretion in order to seize the initiative and do what they feel is right, Hitler puts out a direct order for them to let the British go, half as a show of power to whip his generals in line and keep his grip on power and half for the diplomatic reason
>bongs escape
>Hitler sues for peace loads of times
>Hitler is refused peace
>Hitler goes down in the history books as a colossal idiot

>doing what the Schlieffen Plan failed to do in the previous war and outflanking loads of allied trooos
Eh, right, but you shouldn't also discredit that a lot of it differed with the Schlieffen plan too, in that the part of it that mimicked the Schlieffen plan was only there as a lure to drag Allied forces into Belgium, while the true prong of attack would bypass them through Luxembourg.

Also, you're forgetting that what finally made that opt for this strategy is that the plans for the other one were captured by the Belgians.

>half as a show of power to whip his generals in line and keep his grip on power and half for the diplomatic reason
So not my area of expertise, but wasn't there also the vibe of everything appearing to be too good to be true, and Hitler and his generals, "battle of the Marne-nostalgia" overwhelming them, thought they'd get flanked if they engaged their troops against the Dunkirk defenses? And instead waited that the infantry be done tackling the French resistance in Lille, and reach Dunkirk to shoulder all the panzers there.

haha dank af my man