Muh Epic of Gilgamesh

>Gives Gilamesh a 7 day prescription for nuvigil.....

Nobody important, only the people who INVENTED WRITING.

youtube.com/watch?v=QUcTsFe1PVs

it's a poem and was written at a time when magic numbers were a popular concept. that he falls asleep for specifically 7 days hints to some symbolic meaning

This.

You don't know what the words you;re using even mean.

>muh Holy Book
>literally a remake of Epic of Gilgamesh for LARPers

Eh, only the Torah (the five books of Moses) is based on Sumerian mythology, the later books of prophets, judges and kings are "original".

having the basic ontology of Christianity attributable to Mesopotamian mythology would certainly seem to irrevocably contaminate the whole book's legitimacy.

To be fair, it's not like there was a standard for story quality yet.

>da bable is based un odder boks

For biblical literalists maybe, but they're a tiny minority of Christians, and Jews don't consider their holy text to be inerrant or even necessarily "true" in any literal sense.

To be fair, it only set the goddamn standard of stories for the time and moving forward.

If you're going to stretch the definition of literalism that much then you might as well become a Gnostic

>Achilles
>Bio: Achilles was born with a special power. He was stronger than all his friends in the Myrmidon fighting academy. He served in the Myrmidon army fighting against Agamemnon and in the final battel against the Achaeans he was fighting Agammemnon and he turned him against Peleus and killed him. He lost part of his ankle in the battle, that's why he'll die if anyone hits him in the ankle. Stop PMing me asking my why his ankle is messed up that's why. Also earrings aren't girly fuck you.

>likes: hurtin people, being badass, chariots, epic poems, killing, death, zither music, ankle armor, skulls, darkness, hot gurlz he takes for booty, earings, purple (cool kind not the gay kind)

dislikes: niceness, happiness, Agammemnon fuck you Agammemnon give me my sex slave back you piece of shit, Hector, Apollo (mega-ass faggot), sunshine, life, his dad, naked oil wrestling

>Jews don't consider their holy text to be inerrant
I wouldn't say that's true. Jews believe that the Torah (plus or minus twelve verses) was the literal word of god revealed to Moses at Sinai, and the exact Hebrew text hasn't changed at all (Maimonides' thirteen principles).

Nice.

>Jews don't consider their holy text to be inerrant or even necessarily "true" in any literal sense.
that's only reformed jews.

>Likes: pounding best friend Patroclus in the ass (he has a feminine penis so it's not gay)

To me read more like a typical hero story but then its probably the oldest of its kind.

I like you

>Odysseus is a mary sue
u wot m8?

It's debatable whether Maimonides actually believed that. Thirteen principles was written for the unwashed masses.

Literally his entire crew dies except him because "LMAO ZUES LOVES ME" and then spends like 7 years banging goddesses as his wife stays faithful to him. He's literally worse than Achilles, I mean, Achilles did get killed eventually.

>he's directly responsible for the deaths of his entire crew
>he lives in misery for 20 years
>watches his dog die
>essentially all his friends die
>everyone except his son, wife, and a couple servants betrays him
It wasn't that mary sue.
Also I think you mean "LMAO ATHENE LOVES ME"

>lives in misery for 20 years
>while having sex with goddesses in their mansions for a majority of that time
Also he was only indirectly responsible for his crew dying, Poseidon and Helios really didn't need to be such dweebs about that shit.

But user, he really wanted to be with his wife. It does directly state how he would cry every day.
Also
>haha dude JK my name isn't noname its O D Y S S E U S tell your friends you fucking NERD
It was almost entirely his fault.

>The Rambam didn't believe in the immutability of the Torah
Now this is heresy.

>calling the first written character a cliche

lol wut

>We two brothers, Gilgamesh and Enkidu, defecated here.

Gilgamesh is literally epic and was the first and only original story ever written. Everything since is a rip-off. You're all faggots.

because we've seen it too many times before.
If you have a myth about a superman in your village that's fine but if you hear every village's superman it gets boring and predictable. Sometimes you need a batman or constantine.

bazinga

pssh nothing personnel prince

magic numbers like how

sure thing

>Main character is exactly 2/3 god
>mfw that's literally impossible, they're just implying DP=2 sets of male genetics in the baby